*rated M for language and hints at more*

Whenever Ren thought back he would always conclude that all of his life’s troubles had started at that one moment. That last day of freshman year in college, the day he’d lost his innocence, the love of his life, and so much more deep inside. Though he would try to convince himself that he had no regrets over the years, it grew harder and harder to believe so. Though he had lost himself to a man who would disappear to America the next day, for the longest time Ren could not deny that he wouldn’t have had his first time any other way.

Okay, so being bent over a kitchen counter in their dorm did lose a bit of a poetic feel when spoken aloud…and sure he hadn’t felt the best when the man had said over and over that it was his, Ren’s, own fault. That it was Ren’s fault for being too tempting, and how he hated the fact that he was more beautiful than any woman and that he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Despite the harshness of the moment, Ren knew, somewhere, that the man had cared about him. Or perhaps that was his own wishful thinking, wanting his crush to feel something for him too.

Ren had still loved him, at any rate, missed him, and had been satisfied. He had tried to move on. From one relationship to the next, scars upon scars heaped upon his body in the past five years. It grew harder and harder not to look upon that moment with hate, and that’s when it started.  When he started to change from the sweet, all-too-innocent, imaginative and beautiful boy, to something almost unrecognizable on the inside. To look upon that memory with fondness was near impossible for him, now.

Lost in his thoughts, Ren smoothed the rim of the shot glass he had just finished. His reason for being so nostalgic had many parts to it. One, being this was the college reunion a year after graduation. He didn’t know why he was here, he had no wish to see the people who had never been his friends, and the people mingling with them who had trampled his heart. The second reason was that he had glimpsed the source of his miserable life strolling the streets of Seoul yesterday. Or at least, someone who looked a whole lot like him. The third and final reason was the one night stand from the night prior.

Partially because glimpsing The Man had dredged up emotional feelings, and partially because he was already half drunk at the time, he had gone and downed another couple of drinks. He held his liquor very well, normally, he knew his limit. He hadn’t surpassed it, but the man sitting next to him clearly had. Perhaps it was because of his feminine looks, that led to the man getting a little too touchy feely. It had ended with them back in Ren’s apartment. The next morning, this morning, Ren had woken to the shouts of, “What the is this?!” and a slap to the face. Several names quickly followed; , , . Nothing he hadn’t heard thousands of times before, but that didn’t mean it washed right off of him. The man had rooted around for his clothes, not bothering to be careful of damaging his room and life’s work in the process.

Ren had been left to piece together his designs that the man had torn, tears mixing with blood as he marked himself. The day had continued in this vein, showing up late to work, slaving away for  client who clearly didn’t have the ae