It was very early in the morning, or very late at night if you wish, when his phone went off, giving out that annoyingly loud tone he hated so much. He made a mental note not to let his sons play with it ever again, because he didn’t know how to change the tone back. Groaning loudly, as his brain was still clouded with sleep, he absent-minded reached for his phone and punched the green button.

“Hello?” he said to the phone, sounding even more groggy than he thought.

“Nam Taejin?” asked the voice.

“Maybe.” he deadpanned. “Who’s this?”

“Officer Yang Seungho, we’ve already met once. I’m sorry to be disturbing you so early.”

“Oh, right.” Taejin wobbled into sitting position and started to listen properly. “Is there something new I should know about?”

“The victims’ family wishes to speak to you. Alone.”

Taejin glanced at the clock placed on his nightstand. Three minutes to five in the morning; he sighed concluding that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anymore anyway.

“Would it be okay if I took my sons with me? They’re still to young to stay home alone.” he asked, quite sadly.

“There shouldn’t a problem with that.” Seungho said. “Once again, I’m sorry.”

Taejin sighed as the line went dead. Rubbing sleep out of his face again, he stood up, slightly staggering to his sons’ room they shared together. He smiled as he spotted one of the beds empty, assuming that Woohyun climbed to his brother’s bed during the night. How cute the sight was; little kids at the age of eight and ten, fast asleep and holding hands.

He gently shook with the boys’ shoulders, waking them both up, getting a pile of grunts and ‘go away’s. They eventually woke up as sleepiness washed away from their brains within a few minutes and all of sudden, they were all to excited because they were going on a trip. Needless to say that their excitemement only rose when they were told they were going to a real police station.

Little Woohyun kept clinging to his brother all the way, pointing at everything once they arrived. Their father had an appointment and they were told to wait outside. Woohyun, thanks to his young eyes that saw everything even before everyone else did, spotted a boy, around his age, a bit taller and chubbier in the face, waiting outside the door as well.

He seemed not to notice them even despite their loud voices and kept staring into space, head bowed low.

Woohyun’s eyes shot open as the sound of something falling on the floor tore him apart from his dream. His eyelids fell again, and he welcomed the darkness as he let his brain wake up first. He started to think about that dream; he remembered it as if it was just the day before. The day he went with his father and brother to the police station to sort things he didn’t have a clue about back then.

It was later when he came to realise what all was behind that early morning visit. He still could make out the boy’s face, it seemed so familiar and yet he just couldn’t put it into place. He wondered until there was another loud sound of something hitting the floor. Being completely annoyed, Woohyun grunted and got up.

“What are you doing up so early?” he rubbed his eyes as bright light hit him in the face once he stepped into the living room, where Myungsoo was. “Usually it’s me who has to wake you up.”

“Sorry, hyung.” Myungsoo smiled sheepishly.

Woohyun blinked a few times, finally getting his eyes adjusted to the light. “What’s this?” he pointed to the bag sitting innocently at Myungsoo’s feet like an obedient puppy.

“I’m going back today, remember?” Myungsoo stated, giving the elder a raise brow.

“Oh. Right...”

Woohyun was naturally slower at things right after waking up, but that wasn’t the matter there. Truth to be told, he was worried about the boy. And so he thought, why shouldn’t he let Myungsoo stay over longer? Or even for good? Being alone was not convenient at times, Woohyun was sure Myungsoo didn’t want anything else more than that, but in the end, the younger boy refused.

So it made Woohyun wonder what was the rope that was pulling him out there. What was the reason that made Myungsoo want to go back so much when he could stay and worry about nothing for the rest of his life. He wanted to know and maybe it wasn’t even his business, but he couldn’t blame it on anyone that he was worried. And still, Myungsoo was refusing to tell and Woohyun couldn’t press on so much.

“Still, Myung,” he started. “Don’t you want to stay a bit longer?”

Myungsoo chuckled. “No, hyung. I can take care of myself and I can’t bother you just like this.” he smiled, plopping down on the sofa. “Come on, I made you breakfast.” he added and pointed in the direction of the kitchen.

“I hope you didn’t burn down my precious kitchen.” Woohyun snorted.

“Who do you take me for?” the younger faked a gasp, sounding offended. “I may have dropped a few of your pans, though.” he added in a quiet voice.

Woohyun only groaned and went to get his food with a hole being dug in his heart again. He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed their time together; even though he was a brat at times, Myungsoo was something like a younger brother Woohyun never had. It had been long since Woohyun found out he couldn’t stay alone for too long and he didn’t even need to be taken care of. It was him who needed to care about others. Myungsoo was one of those people who might even need the care.

But the younger boy didn’t realise it and wouldn’t budge just because Woohyun thought better than him.

It was sad.

The ride went in silence, the sun wasn't even up yet. Woohyun demanded that he would take Myungsoo wherever he wanted to be taken and the boy apparently sensed Woohyun’s uneasiness and let himself be dropped off at one of the less conspicious quarters. Myungsoo himself didn’t really want to go as Woohyun had predicted, but there were responsibilities waiting.

Responsibilities he wouldn’t want to talk about.

Myungsoo’s mind wandered off and he wondered how was it possible to fall like he did. From that adorable boy everyone loved, how was it possible for him to be where he was? There was no one to blame, just him. It was Myungsoo alone who made himself fall to the bottom, it was Myungsoo alone who made himself forget how to live.

And it was why nothing mattered anymore. What would happen if he got himself involved with those who nearly killed him last time, what would happen if he just died? Nothing, the world would move on. And that wasn’t as sad, he thought. He would be forgotten and the planet would be one hopeless person lighter.

And so when Woohun pulled over, he shot him a longing look, before getting out of the car in silence. A light “Thank you.” flew from his lips and he was sure Woohyun didn’t miss it. The elder just gave him a small smile and Myungsoo stood still for a while and watched as Woohyun turned the car around and soon disappeared behind the closest corner.

Then he wandered on his own, towards things he knew very well. Back to the routine, he smiled bitterly as he set off.

Life was easy, he decided.

Once there were supplies to make one’s life comfortable, keeping the body going was just the minor part. It was almost amusing how people took everything for granted, never ever thinking of the possibility that one day, there might not be water or food they need. That one day, they might come to realising what suffering really feels like. The world was sad.

Making decisions on the other hand, was a harder nut to crack. Having a fifty-fifty chance to make the right one - starting from deciding what to have for lunch in order not to throw up later to deciding whether to try and save people a