Title: Got Mail?
Pairing: Jonghyun- centric
Genre: Crackish?/Drama
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own SHINee (But if I did...)
A/N: This was inspired by a post on Tumblr about someone drunk-ordering things online and erasing their history (while still drunk). If anyone knows the link, I will happily credit them for the idea. 

Jonghyun sighed as he walked through the threshold in the dorm having just signed for a package. Jinki, who was absorbed to the T.V., turned to Jonghyun with a mix of concerned amusement, examining the stuffed koala bear Jonghyun just opened. “That’s the third thing you’ve gotten this week Jonghyun. What’s going on?” Jonghyun had no idea. He didn’t remember ordering anything at all, yet, he saw the receipt bearing his name. Since last week, received random things like a box containing 150 ballpoint pens, a tennis racket, a set of lemon scented car air fresheners, and a women’s shirt that read ‘Good in the kitchen, better in bed’. 

Someone was playing trick on him and he didn’t find it very funny. Whoever was doing this knew his personal information. Did they find out about his secret sock too? He knew he was risking too much with the auto-fill in function but used it anyway to check his order history and—how was that possible?  The same person ordered an electric egg-beater two days ago. Fed up, he called the bank who assured him someone ordered something at his dorm. He just changed his credit card information so he concluded that the thief lived with him.  He tried to think back to what he was doing two days ago. He recalled going out to drink with all the members…except Kibum who was sick with the stomach flu. Kibum?

That didn’t make any sense. Kibum was paralyzed in the fetal position that day. How could he have ordered something while sick? Does this mean he was he faking the whole time? Jonghyun had no choice but to confront him now. It was one thing for Kibum to ask him to buy things, but another for him to use Jonghyun’s money without permission.

He rounded on Kibum by the kitchen table and took a big breath before saying, “I’m gonna keep this short and simple. Have you been using my information to buy things online?” Kibum choked on his half-eaten ramen before saying, “No, why would I do that?”

“Don’t know. Someone recently ordered something two days ago when you claimed to be sick…”

“C’mon Jonghyun, think! You saw me yourself. I really was sick that day.”

“Were you?”

“Are you seriously accusing me of stealing your stuff right now? Like I said, it wasn’t me.”

“Then who was it?”

“I don’t know okay!” Kibum spat.  This wasn’t getting them anywhere, but at the same time, Kibum looked guilty.

Jonghyun raked a hand through his hair. “All I ask is that you tell the truth. I won’t get mad.”

“I am!” Kibum growled.                                                           

“I don’t beli­— “   

“Hey guys.” It was Taemin behind them who spoke this time. Both of them had not noticed when Taemin walked in on their conversation.  

“Taemin, not now. I don’t believe a word you say Kibum. All of this could be over if you just—”

“Listen to me!”

“Shut-up Taemin! You keep interrupting me when I’m trying to get to the bottom of this.”

Kibum scoffed. “Why the heck would I spend your money to buy stupid things? I have my own money.”

It was Jonghyun’s turn to scoff. “That’s not what you said when you asked me to buy-"

“IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME JONGHYUN!” Taemin yelled. His face changed to a light burgundy due to exertion.  The rest of the members surrounded the kitchen as argument went on.

Jonghyun spun around towards Taemin with his mouth gaped open. “Me? HOW?” The whole idea sounded ludicrous. He was so close to getting Kibum to admit he stolen from him.

“I saw you on your computer clicking away last week and asked what you were up to.  You told me to mind my own business …so I did...You were pretty out of it.” Taemin finished.

“Ha! I bet you feel stupid now.” Kibum said. He shoved past Jonghyun muttering things under his breath.

Jonghyun, still dumbfounded, asked Taemin “I was drunk?”

“Seems that way.”

Jonghyun did indeed feel stupid. He heard of people doing crazy things when drunk, but not this. He knew he was going to have to make it up to Kibum somehow.

“Taemin, remind me not to get on the computer when I’m drunk anymore.”