Come stai? ^^ xD

Okay, so...I'm sorry...I am really really sorry. This is just....woah....I don't know what to say....did I say sorry already? 

Complicated, getting further, complicated, finally somehting, weirdness, not much romance....sorry.

OKAY! NOW! Couple announcements to you my beloved followers: First of all, on Sunday is the day I'll move to my granny's place for two months. I know that her wifi connection is really really bad BUT I am still trying to write my stories. :) That's a promise. If there aren't updates, I can't use my computer properly there. :( I'd wish tho that I could coz I don't want to be on a hiatus for two months...I'd miss ShinBang....D:

Second of all...ON MONDAY I FINALLY HAVE THAT GERMAN FINAL EXAM AND I AM SO EXCITED. :D I love German. <3 SO it means that I will be studying this weekend again. xD lol! 

ENJOY!

Special thanks to Izzymon and Clumsyblue...YOU HELPED ME AGAIN! I can always count on you! ^^ <3 Saranghae! :) 

AND PLEASE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE AND VOTE!!! ^^ 

I was supposed to write a short chapter but this became quite long one. OTL 

BTW, I've made my comment record!!! WUHIIIII! LET*S PARTY!!!!!!! :D lol! 

P.S: Not many chapters left. T_________________________T

FIGHTING & ENJOY!

Chapter 17:

Hyesung’s eyes widened as he little bit lightened his grasp and looked at Eric who avoided looking into Hyesung’s eyes.

“W-w-what?” Hyesung questioned shocked.

“I love you.” Eric murmured. “I love you, Sung ah.” The blush on his face was so red that it resembled a strawberry.

“W-w-why?” Younger male asked.

“I don’t know.” Eric replied. “I…I…I need to continue packing.” He mumbled and moved under Hyesung, trying to get off of his grab.

He managed to get Hyesung off of him and when he got off of the bed, Hyesung was awkwardly silent. Eric returned to his bag and started to fold the shirts and the jeans when Hyesung pushed him against the wall and butted their mouths together. After 2 minutes, Hyesung withdrew and wiped his lips.

“What?” Eric stammered. “Why?”

“I wanted to check something.” Hyesung answered.

“To check what?”

“Nothing. “ Hyesung his lips as he continued, “But I am not sure yet.”

He once again pressed their lips together and this time he moved them. Eric widened his eyes when he felt Hyesung’s tongue his lips not even thinking as he opened his mouth and let Hyesung’s tongue slid inside. Older man closed his eyes slowly –since the sensation of Hyesung’s warm tongue was so freaking addictive- when his, own, came in contact with Hyesung’s. They both moaned into their mouths, deepening the kiss even more when Eric’s hands finally found their way to the hem of Hyesung’s shirt.

“Wait,” Younger man whined.

“What?” Eric interrogated shocked. “You want us to stop here?” He questioned devastatingly.  

Hyesung panted while noticing the terrified look on Eric’s face. “I-i-I…don’t know.” He whispered.

“If you don’t want—“

“No,” Hyesung gave a sloppy kiss to him and caught Eric’s hands and helped him to take the shirt off of him. “I trust you.”    

Finally Eric was able to touch his body properly. He pressed his forehead onto Hyesung’s while his hands slowly roamed around his back from where they came to Hyesung’s front and tickled the skin unintentionally.

“Eric ah,” Hyesung pleaded, eyes fixed at the older man while his hands slid under Eric’s shirt and massaged and the chocolate abs, he had always adored. Eric felt the same exhilarating shiver go through his body when Hyesung kissed him again and let the kiss do its magical tricks.

It felt so weird yet so right when Eric’s lips, tongue and teeth gently kissed, , and nibbled the skin, leaving marks all over Hyesung’s neck. Younger male moaned, arched his neck and squirmed to the hot feeling while he pulled the shirt off of Eric and tossed it next to his, slowly leading Eric towards the bed they had just lied on. Hyesung lifted his arms onto Eric’s shoulders and he gasped how good it felt when Eric’s body was against his arms. It felt so ing superb.

Older man got back to Hyesung’s lips and this time their tongues fought for dominance. They both gasped when their skins touched and brushed one another, while the kissing got even more passionate and they got onto the bed.

Hyesung got on top of Eric and admired his strong abdomen, water running out from his mouth when he gave open mouth kisses to his chest, s, stomach and belly button. Eric already was a mess when he rolled them over and he was on top.

“This will do.” He mumbled, grabbed Hyesung’s hands into his, other one interlacing the fingers, and pecked him when Hyesung started to do something rather hot. The moans and the gasps that came out of his y mouth, made Eric’s interest rise and his manhood get stiffer and stiffer that it had ever been.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He suddenly asked out of nowhere, frowning worried.

Hyesung grinned when Eric’s crotch came in contact with his. His hand slid behind Eric’s neck from where he pulled him back down and ravenously kissed his brain out.

“I wouldn’t be shirtless or do this if I didn’t want to.” He replied with a smirk and kept grinding and grinding and grinding until Eric lost it and practically ripped his jeans off of him.

“I love you.” He muttered shyly and when Hyesung blushed, he gently butted their lips together while his right hand trailed through Hyesung’s chest to stomach –passing the tattoo- and from there they slowly trailed to the thighs that Eric softly.

“I love you, Hyesung ah.” He murmured, hands getting busy.

Hyesung smiled under his blush as he was getting harder and harder under Eric’s touch.

“Say it again.” Hyesung demanded.

“I love you.”

“Once more.”

“I love you.”

Eric had leaned closer to kiss him again and this time it was filled with love and romance although their tongues were once again ravishing each other. Hyesung’s hands were tardily removing Eric’s belt and ping his jeans, massaging his hips and thighs as he slid the jeans down, leaving Eric only in his boxers. Older man kneeled on the bed and pressed his crotch to Hyesung’s throbbing one and he threw his head back.

“Eric ah.” He murmured.

Older man grinded his hips against Hyesung and he moaned, bending his neck. But a feeling of guilt grew inside him and he pushed Eric off of him.

“Sorry, Eric ah,” He cried out. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

Hyesung hurriedly pulled the jeans on – and only now, when the lust had subsided, Eric noticed the tattoo – and stared at Eric with an upset expression.

“Jin ah,”

And with that Hyesung grabbed his shirt and exited the room, leaving Eric there alone. He had never felt that empty and hurt in his life.

-------------------------

Hyesung ran away from Eric’s room although he would’ve wanted to be with him so bad. He loved him. There was no point in denying it but he had lied to his boyfriend. He had told terrible lies to Junjin who now blindly believed in him. Worst of all, trusted him.  

Hyesung loved Eric. He had loved him since the day they kissed for the first time. He loves him. But they can’t be together because Eric…Eric isn’t what Hyesung needs. And that makes the other one sad. He would want Eric for himself. Just for himself. He would want to be with him so bad. But they couldn’t be happy together.  

Right?

Besides, Hyesung couldn’t break Junjin’s heart. He was much safer choice. He was a man everyone could turn to. He was and will always be the one Hyesung is going to be with.

Still…he had told lies to Junjin. Of course he loved Eric. Of course he loved him.

FLASHBACK:

“I will ask you a question and I want you to answer to it sincerely.” Junjin stated sternly. “Do you love Eric hyung?”

Hyesung’s heart skipped a beat. Of course I love him, he thought. “Why would I love him? He is like a brother to me.”

Junjin sighed. “Hyung! Brothers don’t kiss each other like that. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!” He shouted.

“Jin ah,” Hyesung whispered. “Even if I loved Eric, I wouldn’t be with him.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Hyesung breathed out. “He wouldn’t feel the same way towards me. The last thing I’d want is to make our relationship awkward.”

Junjin clenched his fist. “So, you do love him?”

“…No…I don’t.” Hyesung mumbled gently. “I am with you Junjin. I wouldn’t love Eric if I were with you. You are the one I want to be with.” He landed his hands onto younger man’s waist and pressed their foreheads together. “I can’t love Eric ah,” he murmured so silently that Junjin couldn’t hear it. I can’t, Hyesung pondered and he wanted to cry.

“Hyung,” Junjin hugged him. “I love you so, so, so much.”

“I know, Junjin.” Maybe someday I will love you too. Love you like I love Eric, Hyesung thought.   

-------------------------------------

On the next day Andy was reading a newspaper in the kitchen when Junjin entered the room. He looked refreshed, happy and like he had…Andy shook his head.

“Morning Andy ya,” older man greeted happily.

But Andy didn’t answer.

“What’s wrong with you?”

But he received no answer.

“Hey, are you okay?”

But the young master just glared at him. His eyes filled with frustration and madness. Mouth quivering as if he was about to cry and hands squeezing the paper so tightly that it creased.

Andy was so infuriated. Why?

FLASHBACK:

Andy wheeled towards the main door because he needed some fresh air after he had endured his mother’s babbling about physical therapy.

 He slid across the foyer when he heard noises from the balcony. The young master went towards it and saw Junjin and Hyesung snuggling and kissing. He felt how his heart burst into pieces.

 He lifted his head and saw how Junjin kissed Hyesung romantically.

“Hyung, I love you so, so, so much.” Andy heard him saying.

That broke his insignificant heart apart. That particular sentence.

END OF THE FLASHBACK

“What’s wrong with you?” Jj asked. “Are you sulking?”

“I am not sulking.” Andy finally said pouting.

“Yes, you are. Is everything okay? Did someone tease you again?” Junjin poked Andy’s arm.

“Nothing’s wrong okay?”

“Why aren’t you telling what’s wrong with you? I can see that you’re sulking.”

“I AM NOT SULKING!”

Junjin cringed.

“I am not sulking. I am just sad.” Andy muttered looking sadder than ever.

“Why? Did Eric tease you? Are you hurting? Did someone hurt you Andy ya?”

“I am sad,” Andy sighed desperately and his voice trembled as he lifted his head to look properly at the man. “Because of someone I like.”

Older man startled and every piece of his body felt extremely heavy. Andy has someone he likes? Junjin thought somewhat shaken.

“A-ah, r-really?” He interrogated. “Do I know him?”

Andy sighed. “You do.”

Junjin blinked his eyes and kneeled in front of Andy. “Is it that guy whom you met and hugged? Minwoo-sshi was it?”

Andy closed his eyes and threw the magazine to the table. “No, it’s not Minwoo hyung.”

For some reason Junjin was really, really relieved. Thank god the man Andy liked wasn’t Minwoo. Somehow Junjin detested the idea of Andy liking someone like him.

“Who is it then?” Older man asked smiling.

“Ah, forget it.” Andy grinned. “I know he won’t feel the same towards me. He is taken and he loves the other one so much that it hurts.”

Junjin slowly got up from the floor, eyes fixed to the disabled one. He noticed how Andy stared at him nervously as if saying that ‘don’t think about it or you’d get it’ but that only made Junjin even more intrigued. His body knew who Andy meant, his heart knew it but his brain didn’t figure it out.

“Just,” Andy mumbled. “Try not to get hurt, Jin ah. Don’t…don’t…get hurt. Don’t trust so easily to Eric and Hyesung.” He added.

“What are you talking about?” Junjin frowned.

“Please, Jin ah,” Andy whined, clinging onto his arm. “Promise me that you won’t get hurt. Promise me.”

Junjin raised his eyebrows and nodded confusedly. “I promise Andy ya. You really seem to have gotten softer. You really like this guy.” He laughed and patted Andy’s head before walking towards the fridge.

“It’s you.” Andy muttered and it seemed like Junjin heard it since he moved his head slightly.

“What did you say?” He said with a high-pitched voice, banging the door of the fridge closed.

“It’s you…a song from Super Junior.” Andy blurted out smiling awkwardly. “I really like it.” He continued. “Have a nice breakfast Jin ah.” Andy left the kitchen and as soon as he was outside the room, he sighed.

“Why can’t you get it?”

-----------------------------------------

Hyesung exited his and Eric’s bedroom – although older guy didn’t sleep there last night- closing the door after him when he saw his best friend standing in front of him. Younger man flashed him a smile but the other one just stared at him coldly.

“Morning, Eric ah.”

“…”

“You didn’t sleep here. Where were you?”

“Out.”

Hyesung was startled by Eric’s frantic voice.

“Ah, really?”

“Yeah.”

Hyesung’s heart pounded loudly and his brain was screaming that ‘End your agony, you love him’ but he just ignored them. He had to ignore even if it hurt.

Still he felt super jealous. “Were you alone?”

“Yup,” Eric kept responding briefly.

A sigh escaped from Hyesung’s mouth.

“Although,” older man spoke. “I really wanted to be with someone after you ditched me cruelly.” He murmured infuriated.

“…Eric ah,”

“Don’t ‘Eric ah’ me.” Older man almost yelled.

Hyesung cringed as he glared deeply into Eric’s eyes and saw nothing but pain and fury.

“How could you do it, Hyesung ah, huh? Was it easy to play with my heart? Was it? Did you tell about this to your beloved Junjin? Did you two laugh while talking about me? Do you know how much you hurt me!?” Eric finally exclaimed.

“Er—“

“I can’t do this Hyesung.” Older man mumbled. “I don’t deserve this…I don’t deserve any of this . I didn’t know that loving someone hurts this much. I didn’t know that confessing to someone would cause pain and regret as soon as the other one treats you like .” He said.

“Eric,” Hyesung whined quietly.

“No, Hyesung.” Eric shook his head, voice shaky and still very cold. “Is this what I get when I fall in love with someone as amazing as you? Is this what I get when I fall in love with my best friend?”

“…”

Eric clenched his fist as he withdrew Hyesung and turned his back towards him. “I should’ve listened to Minwoo and Andy. They warned me but I didn’t believe them. I was blinded by you but that was before I knew how cold you were. I loved you, Shin Hyesung. Forgetting you must be really easy.” He stated and walked away.

Hyesung’s hand clasped onto the door handle and he was pressing so hard that his knuckles turned white. He inhaled and then let out trembling breath. And before he noticed he was marching towards the man.

“I am cold?” Hyesung raised his voice when he had finally reached to Eric.

“Yes,” Eric nodded frantically. “Have you ever listened to what I have said to you? Have you?”

Hyesung bit his lip. “What do you mean?!”

“Exactly! You haven’t listened to me! I’ve said I love you more than just enough!”

Younger man cringed and his heart was about to burst from happiness. But he didn’t want that. “Eric,” he said. “I know…”

“You know? Why are you treating me so coldly Hyesung?”

Hyesung turned his head to avoid Eric’s gaze.

“All those kisses, all those hugs…they aren’t friendship Hyesung. That is love.”

“I CAN’T LOVE YOU!” Hyesung yelled. “I can’t love you.” He repeated.

“You can’t? Or you don’t want to?” Eric asked out of breath.

“I don’t love you.” Hyesung felt how his chest tightened because of his lie. “I don’t love someone I’ve known as a friend, Eric.”

The look on Eric’s face was darker than ever.

“Even if I did love you, Eric ah,” Hyesung whispered, trying to convince himself that he was doing the right thing. “I wouldn’t let you know about it.”

Eric glared at his best friend. Or was it safe to say used-to-be-best-friend? “Are you serious? So you kissed me because you just felt comfortable? You just kissed me because you needed it? Do you understand what you’re saying?” Eric raised his voice. “You don’t kiss your best friend like that Sung ah!! And you certainly don’t almost sleep with one.”

Hyesung knew it. Of course he knew it.

“I’m sorry, Eric ah. I really am.”

Older man snorted and shook his head. “I give up, Pil Kyo. I give up. I am tired of being your friend. I am tired of being your fiancé. I am tired of loving you. You are dead to me.”

The last sentence from Eric tore Hyesung’s heart officially apart –after the fact that Eric used his real name. He wanted to cry but if he had, he would’ve shown too many feelings.

“I’ll send you the apartment paper someday. Sign it and then you’re officially outta there. Have a nice life with Junjin. He deserves it.” Eric wished coldly. “You deserve someone like Junjin. Who am I to love you?”

Hyesung clenched his fists so he wouldn’t cry. He lifted his head to look into Eric’s eyes but all he could see were pain and regret. It was entirely his fault.

“I am so sorry, Eric ah.” Hyesung murmured.

“No,” Eric said seriously eyeing Hyesung’s pale face. “I won’t forgive you…not so easily Pil Kyo. I guess I need some time...I need some time alone…I need some time to be alone far away from you…”

“Eric ah,” Hyesung cried. “What about the engagement…and the wedding?” He interrogated.

Older guy snorted and answered, “I guess my mother will understand.” The coldness of Eric’s voice echoed in the short corridor. “Better break up now. After the wedding would be difficult.” He muttered.

“You can’t do that!”

“AND WHY CAN’T I!? You hurt me! I am in pain here! I want to get away from you and forget you. Is that too much!?”

Hyesung shuddered. “No, Eric ah. I…I…understand.”

“Pil Kyo,” Eric’s face was unreadable. “You’re not my best friend anymore.”

When the man gave a last glance at Hyesung and finally turned around and disappeared, Hyesung kneeled to the floor and started to cry.

He had chosen wrongly.

---------------------------

Junjin sat in the living room when Hyesung stormed into the room, crying, and hugged him tightly.

“Hyung,” He spoke worryingly. “Why are you crying?” He asked.

“Jin ah,” Hyesung whispered under his tears. “It’s over…it’s over…”

Junjin frowned. “What is over?”

“Eric…E-e-Eric…he left me…he left me for good…I am dead to him.” Hyesung sobbed.

“What!? Why?!” Junjin pulled his boyfriend away from him.

Hyesung’s face was swollen and eyes were red. He had been crying some time already and Junjin didn’t want to see that so he lifted his hands, landed them on his boyfriend’s cheeks and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

“Ww-we a-a-argued.” Hyesung stuttered. “And he broke the engagement up.”

Junjin sighed. “I talk to him.” He said.

“No,” Hyesung shook his head. “He’s gone. He left…He left, Jin ah. He left me alone.” And Hyesung was crying again.

“Hyung,” Junjin murmured sadly.

“Jin ah, I miss him.” Hyesung curled his arms around him again. “I miss Eric ah.”

“Hyung, why don’t you lie down? Get some sleep and calm down. I think this is just temporary.” Junjin smiled. “Trust me.”

“No, Jin ah,” Hyesung sat onto the couch. “He really left me…he dumped me…he said that I was dead to him…I am no longer his best friend…his fiancé…”

Junjin felt how blood started to boil inside him. Because of Eric, Hyesung was crying. Because of him, Hyesung looked terrible. Because of Eric, Hyesung had to lie and calm down. Because of Eric, Junjin felt how his trust and love towards his beloved boyfriend were wavering again.

“Junjin,”

The said man turned around and noticed Andy at the door. “Yes?”

“Can I talk to you for a minute? I have something I need to tell you.”

“Not now Andy ya. I need to find Eric hyung.”

“But it’ll only take two minutes.”

Junjin hesitated, looked at Hyesung then at his watch and finally gave a nod to the disabled man.

“What is it?”

“Not here. In the kitchen.”

Junjin blinked his eyes and the frown between his eyes deepened as he followed Andy to the kitchen that was empty. The young master cleared his throat and turned to face the other one.

“I like you, Jin ah.”

Older man startled and every piece of his body felt extremely heavy.

“What?”

“I know, it’s shocking but I do like you.” Andy couldn’t look at him. “I shouldn’t like you and I don’t want to like but I do. I like you Junjin.”

The man stood in front of Andy, mouth open and eyebrows furrowed against each other. He didn’t utter a word and Andy was seriously beginning to feel anxious.

“You like me?” Junjin finally blurted out after that agonizing silence. “You like me!?”

Andy nodded.

“Oh, .” Junjin commented.

Could this be any more complicated?