Chapter 18:

“Jin ah,”

“You like me? You ing like me!?”

Andy blushed and bowed his head away from the man.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, Junjin. And I finally got the courage to confess. Obviously the situation was poorly chosen but it’s now or never, Jin ah. If I told you now, the breaking of my heart won’t hurt that long. But if I held it way too long inside me,” Andy fisted his right hand. “I swear the God that my heart wouldn’t heal…ever.”

Junjin’s eyes were as big as golf balls. “You chose the wrong hour for your confession, Andy sshi. I’m in the middle of a chaos that was caused by your idiotic brother. I am trying to calm down my howling boyfriend.” He said. “I don’t have time to your confessions, Andy. I’m a total mess right now. I haven’t slept properly in days and now my boyfriend, who was just being dumped by the way, tries to sleep so he wouldn’t cry over his best friend.” He raised his voice.

“I’m really sorry, Junjin. I didn’t know.” Andy spoke sadly.

“When you come to a room, check it first and then make conclusions when it’s right time to confess. Your feelings are on my way right now.” Junjin mumbled as he turned around. “We can talk about this some other time. Right now, I’m not in the mood.”

Something in Andy’s insides cracked and it was painful. The expression on his face was pale and beyond sad. It was inconsolable, depressed and melancholic as if someone had said that his feelings had just being unnoticed and rudely ignored.

Andy snorted, lifting his hand onto his chest.

Junjin was right. He had chosen the wrong place and time to confess. But he did it because he finally had the confidence to spill it out. His sister had given him confidence by telling him to confess. And Andy was glad that he had done it. Now he knew that Junjin would never feel the same way.

Andy had frightened Junjin and gotten nothing back. But the disabled man didn’t care.

His heart had been broken.

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Eric didn’t even breathe the air outside of his parents’ house when he stormed to his car, threw the luggage to the back seat and jumped to the driver’s seat, switching the engine on and driving away from the large yard. He stopped to the edge of the driveway and sighed.

“Sung ah,”

The tears finally pouring out of his big eyes as Eric hit his head to the steering wheel. He took a deep inhale, turned to look at the house one last time before he turned the car to the main street and advanced Seoul. He had told to his mom that he and Hyesung broke up due a quarrel that really made Eric see things in a new light. He didn’t explain it in detail; he just told what he had to. Grace Mun had been shocked. Really shocked. But when she noticed that her son was in pain and actually still loved Hyesung, she let it be.

She had even said that Eric and Hyesung had a chance. The man snorted and looked through the rare view mirror to the receding mansion. If she had known that Hyesung was actually together with Andy’s caretaker, she would be shaken.

When Eric had exited the house with his luggage, Hyesung had cried. He had cried his heart out, squeezing the fabric of his shirt as if trying to prevent shouting at him. It had worked. Eric was too angry – and exhausted- to think about Hyesung and Junjin. If they loved each other, they did. Eric’s love didn’t get between them.

Just the thought of it hurt his heart and entire body.

The night before came into his mind as he was waiting in the traffic lights. The way Hyesung moved with him and how talented he was, made the rest of Eric’s aching heart beat so rapidly that he had to breathe in and out couple of minutes.

That tattoo…

Eric smiled but that still couldn’t hide the pain and the fury that slowly subsided out of his body. He was angry at Hyesung, of course, but it was so damn difficult when he saw that beautiful face in front of his eyes, crying and smiling.

That tattoo…

‘Lunatic’ it had said. A crescent moon that was surrounded by the word ‘lunatic’. Eric stared at his face from the mirror and noticed a frown between his eyebrows. He wasn’t a young man anymore but when he frowned like that he resembled his father.

“Lunatic,” Eric mumbled while tapping the steering wheel.

The sight of Hyesung pulling his jeans up after that scene made Eric’s face grow hotter. Although he had seen the tattoo only about five seconds, his mind had been blown. It had been so beautiful. It had been so hot. It had been so…so…y.

A sigh escaped from Eric’s mouth as the traffic lights finally turned to green. He had done the right thing though, when leaving Hyesung and breaking off the engagement. He had done the right thing. He didn’t want to share Hyesung. He didn’t want to be engaged with a man who loved someone else. He didn’t want to hurt people even though that was what he had done these couple of months.

He said that he will send that apartment agreement to Hyesung and he has to sign it so he’s out of the apartment. Eric hoped that’d happen. He didn’t want to see Hyesung ever again. Well, maybe someday…when he had forgotten him. For that he needed about 20 years. In those years, Hyesung could marry Junjin and even adopt some kids.

Why was it so hard to forget?

“Shinhwa Company,” Eric muttered out loud. “I need to go to Shinhwa Company.”  

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After three hours, three long hours, Hyesung stopped crying. Junjin sat next to him, holding Hyesung’s head onto his shoulder, just listening to his sobbing that was heartbreaking. Junjin didn’t know why his boyfriend was so sad that his best friend had broken off the engagement when it had been just a fake one, but seeing Hyesung crying like that made him comprehend things. Kinda…comprehend.

“Hyung,” Junjin Hyesung’s hair.

Hyesung sneered behind his sobs.

“What happened? What made Eric hyung so angry? What made him break you like that? Why did he hurt his best friend? Why was he an ?” Junjin exclaimed his questions out.

“Jin ah,” Hyesung shook his head slowly. “It wasn’t him.”

“What?”

“It wasn’t Eric who broke me. I was the one who broke him.” Hyesung murmured sadly.

Junjin pulled his shoulder away because he turned to look at the other one.

“Hyung,”

“Jin ah, I’ve made a mistake.” Hyesung said. “I’ve made a huge mistake. I’ve been so blind. I’ve been…been…stupid.” He cried again.

“Shhh, hyung!” Junjin whispered as he pulled Hyesung into his embrace. “What have you done?” He asked softly.

“I…I…Eric…Eric is…” Hyesung stammered. “I…I…really…I really do too…”

Junjin frowned. “You do what?”

Hyesung gulped as he tightened the hug. “I…I think...no, I know…I…I…lo—“

“Hyung!” Andy wheeled to the living room holding a back bag in his arms. He gave a quick glance at Junjin who stared at him silently. “I’m leaving.”

Junjin got up from the couch, shocking both of them. “What? You can’t leave without me!”

“I can.” Andy replied softly. “My nuna said that she will come to visit Seoul today and she suggested that she’d bring me home. Don’t worry Junjin-sshi,”

Sshi, Junjin thought.

“I’ll leave you two alone. That’s what you need.” Andy smiled, not truthfully, but still smiled. “I leave the car to you so you can use it. Bye bye, hyung, Junjin-sshi.”

Hyesung smirked and waved to Andy whose sister was waiting for him in the foyer. Junjin was gloomy when Hyesung pulled him behind him to say farewell to him. Andy bowed his head to his parents and then he and his sister were gone.

“Jin ah,”

“Yup?”

“What’s wrong with you two?” Hyesung questioned gently.

“What do you mean? Nothing.” Junjin answered.

“I noticed that Andy had returned to ‘sshi’ ending. I guess there’s something wrong.” Hyesung spoke. “Did you offend him somehow?”

“No,” Junjin lied. “I said nothing to him.”

Hyesung stared at his boyfriend doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Junjin nodded and flashed a grin. “I said nothing.”

 “Ah, really?” Hyesung smiled mischievously. “Come on, Jinnie. Maybe we should leave too.”

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4 weeks later:

“Eric ah,” Minwoo whined. “You can’t hide here forever.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not hiding.” Eric replied awkwardly.

Minwoo tsked and clasped his hands onto his desk that was seated next to Eric’s. “I know you are hiding, Eric ah. I understand that you don’t want to see your best friend but this is just stupid.”

Eric rolled his eyes.

“No, really. I mean, you haven’t seen Hyesung, Junjin or Andy in weeks. You talk about the agreement that Hyesung should sign but haven’t even given it to him and you sleep here every night.” Minwoo retorted.

“Whatever, Minwoo. I don’t care. I don’t want to see neither of them right now.” Eric said.

“Eri—“

“No,” The CEO shook his head. “Hyesung doesn’t love me. I decided to avoid him as long as I could so my feelings for him would diminish. Is that really too much, Minwoo?”

The co-CEO sighed and he too shook his head. “I know. The best way to get rid of your feelings is to avoid someone.”

Eric covered his face with his hands and exhaled. “I’m going to need 20 years for that.”

Minwoo snorted. “Don’t worry. You can do it.”

The CEO smiled and pulled his phone out. It was ringing for the 50^th time that day and the man sighed when he noticed the caller ID. ’Junjin’ it said.

That man called Eric every day but he never answered. He just let it ring and waited until it was finally tuneless. If Eric didn’t answer, which happened every day, Junjin kept calling and calling. The CEO knew that he should respond but he didn’t know what Junjin wanted to tell him. Maybe that he and Hyesung were about to get married…or that they were engaged…or that they had done it…No…Eric didn’t want to hear that.

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” Minwoo finally screamed, stealing Eric’s phone from the desk, pressing the ‘answer’ button and lifting the phone onto his ear. “Lee Minwoo.”

“Oh, sorry!” said the caller. “I thought this was Eric’s phone.”

“It is.” Minwoo answered. “He just isn’t here right now. How can I help you?”

“I’ve got something to tell to him and I’d like to meet him soon.”

“What is it about? Eric is pretty busy today.” Minwoo spoke amused, getting a scold from Eric who slapped him.

“It’s about Hyesung hyung.”

Minwoo turned to look at his friend and mouthed ‘It’s about Hyesung.’

“What about him?”

“He isn’t fine. I…I have to see Eric hyung. I really, really need him right now. Hyesung needs him. I know it.” Junjin mumbled.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him. Calm down, Junjin sshi.” Minwoo said softly and ended the call.

“Well?”

“He wants to see you. Apparently something’s wrong with Hyesung ah.”

Eric’s eyes widened. Something was wrong with his Hyesung ah?

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2 days earlier:

Ever since the day Hyesung cried his heart out he didn’t smile, laugh or talk that much. He just was. He just lived. He just lived because he had to.

Junjin had noticed the change in Hyesung and to be honest it frightened him. He had called to Eric ever since they left the house but the man never answered to his calls. Junjin also visited his apartment but he was never at home. Junjin had no idea to where his hyung had gone.

Whenever Hyesung was looking the photos of him and Eric in his phone, he started to cry. Whenever Junjin mentioned something about the man Hyesung cringed and didn’t eat. Then there were times when Hyesung saw Eric on the TV and just smiled and blushed when Eric looked handsome. That bothered Junjin.

 Junjin saw something in Hyesung’s eyes whenever he looked at Eric. He didn’t know whether he should be worried or just think it’s pretty normal. But the thing is that it wasn’t normal at all. It was weird. It was beyond something Junjin didn’t even want to think. It was…it was…love.

“Hyung,” Junjin cried out quietly.

He knew that if he ever mentioned his suspense to his boyfriend, Hyesung would get mad and then they would argue again. They had quarreled a lot lately actually. They had fought over stupid stuff. Like how Junjin had been hanging out with Andy more than Hyesung. Of course one of the titles of argues were Hyesung’s engagement ring. He never took it off –even though Eric and Hyesung had ‘broken up’- when he was with Junjin. Hyesung always admired it and sang some lullaby as if being in his own thoughts in which Junjin didn’t fit. 

They really fought a lot.

Then finally, after three or four weeks of trying, Eric answered to the phone. Except it was Lee Minwoo. Either way, Junjin was happy that finally someone answered. He wasn’t particularly angry at Eric, he was just freaking upset that he had caused Hyesung’s mood swings.

Junjin wanted to know the truth.

And finally he found Eric. The man had practically lived in his company, said Minwoo when he entered the building.

“Hyung,” Junjin said sternly.

“Junjin.” Eric spoke back. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been looking for you for weeks!” Junjin shouted. “Why haven’t you answered my calls? Why are you so immature? I guess you know that I’m upset with you.”

Eric nodded.

“The reason I am here is Hyesung.” Junjin mumbled.

“I know. How is he?”

Junjin tsked. “How’d you be if someone said that you’re no longer best friends? What made you say that, huh? You hurt him, hyung. I can’t even describe what’s wrong with my boyfriend. We never argue and now…last week we didn’t see each other for two days. What made you say such things hyung?”

“I love him.” Eric said steadfast.

“Y-y-you…w-w-what!?”

“I love him.”

Junjin was speechless.

“That’s why I broke off the engagement and our friendship. Because of that.” Eric explained. “I love him.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No,” Eric shook his head. “I seriously love him.”

“How? When?”

“When we kissed in the party…” Junjin bowed his head but he was shocked when Eric went on, “and in my room…and in our kitchen…and four weeks ago…in my parents’ place. But don’t worry, Junjin, it was nothing for him.”

Junjin snorted. “Do you think that wouldn’t upset me more?” he questioned.

“No, Junjin.” Eric muttered. “Of course it wouldn’t. But you must know,” he said. “That I really do love Hyesung so much that it hurts. It hurts me to think of you two together happily. It hurts me to think that you two sleep together in the same bed. It hurts.”

“Do you hate me or do you hate Hyesung?”

Eric startled but said nothing.

“I see.”

“No!” Older man finally spoke. “I can’t hate you Junjin. You had no idea about my feelings. I try to hate Hyesung and I’ve been trying to forget him but it’s hard. I promise you that I’ll forget him. He loves you and I’m gonna face that fact.”

“Hyung,” Junjin stated seriously. “Don’t trust in things Hyesung says. He’s confused. He’s been confused ever since you two kissed in that freaking party.”

“What do you mean, Junjin?”

Junjin palmed his face. “Hyesung hyung loves you.”

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When Andy was behind his apartment building, he fished his phone out and dialected a number. He sighed when he contemplated whether he should press the ‘call’ button or just put the phone back to his pocket and then let things be as they are. A snort escaped from the disabled man’s lips and he pressed the button feeling satisfied yet sad.

“Hello?” said a voice in the phone.

“Dongwan hyung, I have a favor to ask.”

“Bring it on, young master.”

“I want to have another caretaker.” Andy spilled out not even waiting for Dongwan’s sentence to end.

“W-what? You want a new one?”

“Yes! And quickly.” Andy’s voice trembled. “As quickly as possible.”

Dongwan was silent for a minute, apparently going through some papers he had in front of him. He had gotten a promotion after Andy had suggested him to try out and for his shock he had actually gotten the place. Well, if it hadn’t been like that, he wouldn’t have met Junjin.

“I see that you’ve had someone who isn’t in the books here.”

“Yes,” Andy replied. “Can you do it quickly!? I really, really don’t want to work with Junjin anymore.”

“Why? Did you too fight or something? Is he too annoying?”

Andy sighed and shook his head as if Dongwan could see it. “I like him, hyung.” Dongwan quieted down and didn’t even breathe to the device. “Hyung, are you still there?”

“Ah, yes, Andy ya. I’ll do what I can. I don’t guarantee that you’d get a new one today but I’ll call when the transportation’s ready.” Dongwan answered. “Don’t worry, Andy ya. We’ll find you someone who isn’t tolerable.” Older man laughed into the phone and when he said ‘goodbye’, Andy put the phone down and started to enter the password on the door.

He got into the foyer and started to untie his shoes. It wasn’t difficult but when there had been someone to help him, he would’ve gotten them off. Andy reached to the feet that were covered by Converse shoes when someone walked towards him and said, “Do you need help, Sun Ho ah?”

Andy startled on his seat but managed to lift his head.

“Hang Ah nuna,”