Chanyeol

There were plenty of times I thought those days were the saddest times of my life. The times when he was in my life, but I was completely wrong. They were actually the happiest times of my life. If it wasn’t for him, I probably would be buried six feet under, rotting to absolutely nothing. Existing to become one with the dirt and as gross as it sounds, it’s true. There wasn’t really any meaning to my life until he came but because of him, my entire world came crashing down. 

The relationship between everyone I knew was, well, complicated. Kris knew it. Zitao knew it. I hate to say this, but I also knew it.

Kris and I? Where do I start? 

To be clear, our relationship was mainly love until it wasn’t. There were so many times I just wanted to be in his life and it would just be us. That wasn’t going to work though when I knew he was so caught up in a fantasy that everything’s perfect, which isn’t true. Things fall apart to be mended back together if others are willing to help. That wasn’t us. When I felt myself falling apart, there was no one but me putting myself back together. He wasn’t there, I don’t know where he was but I had a feeling I knew where he was. 

Besides that, we met while I was still in university. It was one of my more longer days of school and I was in desperate need of a caffeine fix. There was an exam coming up and I needed to pass. I couldn’t flunk any classes and frankly, failing was something I couldn’t handle. 

There was a coffee shop not too far from campus. Mentally, I made a plan to study after I grabbed a coffee before I had to catch the bus back to my apartment and study more. 

With that plan in mind,  I walked inside the little coffee shop and proceeded to order a coffee. While I waited, I thought of a million pointless things. I found myself thinking of whether or not I needed to study or flunking was easier and I could just get some lame job and as I thought about it, I didn’t want that. I’d rather work my off and get a good paying job. While I thought on this, I grabbed my coffee and took a seat near the window in the back corner.

The little coffee shop was nearly full but much to my surprise, it was peaceful. I was thankful. It was rare I found somewhere with a little bit of peace. It’s odd, the library is designed to study in peace and quiet but with so many people going there, it wasn’t exactly meeting it’s purpose.

I pulled out my books and began to study. The smoke from the coffee rose to nothing and I found myself actually staring at that than actually studying. Shaking my head back to focusing on my notes; my head starting filling with all of works of Beethoven and how he was able to create music despite the fact he couldn’t hear the beautiful sounds he created.

My train of thought was broken when I heard someone asking something. Still looking down at my notebooks, I said, “Sorry, what’s that?” I looked up and I saw someone with a piercing look. It was his eyes that made him look almost daring. It had my heart racing and in all honestly, he looked like he wasn’t supposed to be at this coffee shop, but instead, somewhere high class.

“May I sit here?” the man asks. He had extremely well manners and it made me wonder why he was in this area. Most people around here were university students and their manners are practically . I wasn’t any better, but I got by so what did it matter? 

I looked around and noted to myself that the coffee shop was packed and the only available seat was across from me. I nodded at him, “Yeah, go ahead.” 

Quickly, I moved my books, so he would have somewhere to set his mug down. He sat down and I went back to look at my books, but I wasn’t actually reading. Like, I was skimming than actually reading and understanding the context of it all. 

“It’s raining.” his voice was almost inaudible but it was there and I realized he said it was raining and looked outside; sure enough, it was almost a downpour out there. 

“,” I mumbled under my breath. I didn’t have an umbrella and that means I would be standing in the rain if it didn’t clear up soon. By the looks of it, the rain wasn’t going anywhere. 

I had totally forgot about the man sitting across from me until he spoke, “What’s so ‘’ about the rain? I think it’s lovely.” he spoke quietly but it was audible. Maybe it was because we’re sitting across from one another or I had great ears, but besides that, I could listen to him talk. He had that voice where you wanted to listen to them talk all the time and it was lovely. 

He had asked a question, and my cheeks began to feel warm in embarrassment because it had seemed I wasn’t listening to him. 

“It’s not that,” I replied as quick as I could. “I don’t have an umbrella with me and I have a bus to take and it’s raining and you know, never mind. I’m talking too much,” I stopped myself before I could embarrass myself anymore than I already was.

He chuckled, a deep low chuckle that caused me to chuckle along with him. It was the kind of laugh that someone couldn’t help but join despite the mood the person was in. He brought his hand up towards me, “I’m Kris, yours?” 

I grabbed his hand and he shook it firmly. I grinned at him, “Chanyeol. Now I gotta ask, what brings you around here? You don’t look like you’re going to uni and you talk a little too formal to be living in this area.” Kris began to laugh, not a quiet one but a full on laugh, like I had asked the funniest thing known to man. Which I didn’t, I was just curious. 

“You’re right, I’m not from around here. I had just needed a coffee and I was on my way to meet a friend.” he replied.

“Well, , if you’re meeting a friend, what are you doing here? No need to talk to some university student when you have a friend waiting for you, or maybe you don’t have an umbrella either?” I mentally slapped myself in the face. While talking to Kris, I knew I was making a fool of myself. I thought to myself that if I just kept my mouth shut and didn’t say anything, then I would feel less embarrassed. “Sorry, you don’t need to listen to me. I’m just a bit stressed.” I told him, calming myself down a bit.

Kris smiled at me, a soft almost calming smile, speaking softly to me, “Don’t worry about my friend, something came up. What are you studying?” he pointed to my books. I looked down and my words were stuck in my mouth. His voice made it hard for me to think and it almost felt like it was killing me. “Well?” he pegged.

“Sorry, I’m majoring in music.”

“Why music?” he asked, picking up a textbook. He flipped through the pages like he was looking for something to catch his eye or a response from me. 

I thought about it and why I chose music and pondered on it, and it just came down to, I enjoyed music and it was something I saw myself still enjoying it while I was well on my way to old age. Who wouldn’t though? Music was something that could bring comfort or fun to anyone. That was where I found my comfort. Where I felt most in place. Music was something I was able to rely on and that was why I loved it so much.

“I love music,” I told him. Simple and easy and I hoped that he wouldn’t ask another question. I could feel myself getting awkward and I didn’t know how much longer I would last before I became really red in embarrassment. 

“Fair enough. Music is great. It’s comforting, but I’ll let you go. It seems you’re busy with studying and,” he looked at his watch before continuing, “I have somewhere to be. It was nice meeting you, Chanyeol.” He stood up, finishing off his mug and setting it back down onto the table. Then he left and just like that, I was alone again. It didn’t feel lonely though. It was nice to have met him. He was comfortable to be around even though I was getting awkward. 

Before I went back to bury my face in my notebook, I noticed an umbrella where Kris was sitting. I grabbed it and quickly ran out the door. It was still raining and he was probably soaked by now and it was clearly his umbrella. By the time I looked around, he was no where in sight and I felt myself walking back into the coffee shop. 

At that moment, I had a feeling I would be meeting Kris again. I wasn’t sure when, or how much longer I would be able to see him again,  but I had a feeling he and I would cross paths again. 

a/n: well i at writing first person but i hope you liked it anyways.

-scarecrowscreams