This thought of mine. I didn’t need it anymore. Finally everything came to the end. Finally the reality that I wished for came to me. Not in a silverware. Not in elegant way. But in a way that I never imagined. The event that I never want to happen. But ironically, I was thankful for it. It woke me from my slumber of self-consciousness. Finally, the day that I dreamt of, became my reality.

Maknae is finally mine.

Shanghai was where everything changed. For better or for worse.

It was the fan meeting to celebrate early Christmas. A meeting where we tried our best to give everything to our fans. To show our love to them. Love that was always never enough. No matter how much we gave it to them. Because we are never truly theirs. Never because maknae is always mine and nobody owned me.

But love can be painful and cruel. And their chase had hurt my baby. Damn those sasaeng fans!

The accident didn't hurt him. He told me many times. He was cool about it, he was stubborn about it.

This kindness is what I hate. This kindness is what I love. That heart is what I'm after. And the possibility of losing it drove me crazy. So crazy that I couldn't help but cry.

For the first time, I, Kwon Jiyong broke down in front of my maknae.

"Hyung, why are you crying.. I'm really okay. You shouldn't be so worried. Thank god it wasn't you."

I was shocked. I was furious. So much that I wanted to hit him. So much that I wanted to hug him. So tight that he would end up dying in my embrace. Or kiss him so hard that he can no longer breathe. I wanted to shout and kick him until he realized, how important he is to me.

He is the most important person in my life. How could he think so light of himself?

"Hyung, don’t worry too much, I am a lucky person. Everyday I thank god for giving me so much in this life. See how lucky I am just to have you by my side. The G-Dragon. Millions people are envious of me. And I will not ask for more. Hyung, thank you for caring and being with me."

How could you get it all wrong Seungri? I am nothing without you. I was empty before I knew you. Everytime you