"I've been having the same dream for almost everynight! I don't know what to do anymore!" Sehun cried out in front of Suho and threw a pillow so hard Suho almost fell on the floor. He slowly closed the gap between both of them and hesitantly pulled the youngest member into his embrace. 

            "Me too, Sehun-ah. Me too..." Sehun's tears began to soak his hoodie again. He's still in denial of what had happened to their group. He woke up two days after the accident, thrashing and throwing fit on the bed after knowing about Luhan and Minseok. He had a mild concussion to his head, the doctor said it was mild and nothing too serious but they had to send Sehun to the hospital again after a week at home. He had difficulties in remembering things, keep throwing tantrum like a little kid and always in dazed. He even called Tao to come with him for practice when there was nothing to practice for.

            He had been losing sleep ever since the fatal accident. Everyone was but the death of their two members hit Sehun harder. He kept dreaming of Luhan dying in his arms over and over again, made him lose his mind. He barely shut his eyes when the dream came haunting in his sleep. He barely eat as he couldn't keep anything inside his tummy at the thought of Luhan sitting next to him, eating food that Kyungsoo made with blood all over his pale neck. After a while, his skinny limb turned into only skin and bone.

            "He had to be admitted into the hospital. He's malnourished and his insomnia only gets worse without the help of drug." Suho gulped down his saliva at the sight of the pale and weak Sehun who was lying on the hospital bed. For the first time in three months, Sehun got to sleep with sound without having to jump onto Suho's bed and cry until his tears dry out.

            "B-but what will happen if he can't wake up from his deep sleep? Everything will become real to him and he can't stop it! He will die all over again! H-he..." Suho shook the startled doctor's shoulder hard and Yixing came limping to him to calm the leader down from his anxiety. Suho had been the one that keep taking care of everyone after the accident. While everyone was still in shock, Suho helped them cope with the nightmare and sleepless night but no one looked after his back after two of their elder members passed. Yixing took the chance to return the favour and helped Suho to pull himself together for the sake of everyone. 

            Strong had been his middle name since EXO was formed a couple years ago. He was. Back then, he was too foolish to know of the huge responsiblity to be put on his back when he was chose to be the leader of twelve-member boy band. He never knew it will be unbecoming of him. The first time he had been this weak, it was when he kneeled in front of Chanyeol's parents to say he was sorry for not taking care of their son well. He received a slap and silent treatment for the rest of the funeral. When he came back to their apartment, his legs gave out and he cried at the entrance for the rest of the night.

            Vulnerable is the right word to describe him when he suddenly fell apart in front of everyone, the doctor and the nurse. He tried to wake Sehun from his induced sleep, afraid that he might actually die with Luhan in his dream. Yixing pulled him into his tight grip to calm the crying leader while the nurse sedated him into a dreamless sleep.

            "Ge, you should sleep. You haven't slept since yesterday." Tao rubbed Yixing's back gently as if that could help him sleep but it did when everyone curled up close against him - Tao, Baekhyun, Jongin, Jongdae and Kyungsoo slept too close to his liking but nothing beats slumber party in the middle of waiting room at the hospital. Tao kept crying ever since the accident, his mind still recalling the incident and the members wondered how his tears still there after all the crying.

            Everyone has their own ways to cope with the traumatic incident. Baekhyun shut himself out of the world first month after the accident. The whiplash injury had him unable to move his upper body properly and he spent most of his time in the bed, wishing that Chanyeol would come to help with the pain because Chanyeol had a wonderfully warm hands that made for relieving every kink residing behind his back. His playfulness turned out cold, filled with anger and frustration. He grew anxious around everyone when the thought of Chanyeol not coming to calm his nerves grew deep inside his mind.

            "What is this that you cooked, Kyungsoo-ah? It's ing tasteless!" He threw the chopsticks across the gloomy dining table, hitting Kyungsoo right in his chest. He weakly pulled up from his seat and was heading to his dark room when Kyungsoo hit him back with the same chopsticks. Jongdae shook slightly when Kyungsoo wiped the table clean of everything - dishes, bowls, spoon, chopsticks and glasses hit the floor even before he could get up from the seat. Hot eggdrop soup poured down on his tees and pajama pants making him lost his appetite and bile came up instead. Next to the Kyungsoo's feet, he vomitted everything out.

            "I'm so done with you guys and your ing appetite. I ed up the food because you all ed up in your own world while I stay out here, thinking of what kind of food that you can keep inside your stomach for a short while. I tried my best with all the food - everything liquid, no strong taste until you can eat proper food without vomitting right after eating. You guys are so selfish that you think you are the only one that suffered all this time!" Kyungsoo was out of breath when he stopped yelling, a hand holding his wrapped broken ribs before he ran through the mess of shards and food on the floor into his shared room with Jongin. 

            "Byun Baekhyun, go back to your room and don't come out until you calm the hell down. Jongdae, Tao and Yixing, help me with the mess and finish your food first before you sleep, Jongin-ah." Suho talked in his stern voice as Jongdae picked up a mop to clean his vomit, Tao already on the floor picking all the shards of glasses, broken bowl and plates and Yixing with a rag cleaning all the wasted food.

            "How's your throat, Jongdae-ah? Any better?" Yixing asked after cleaning all the mess after their ruined dinner. Jongdae shook his head and his face turned gloom in seconds. He suddenly lost his voice after the traumatic accident, leaving him nervous that he might lost his voice forever. He remembered shouted so loud when the car rolled a few times before it stopped. The seatbelt was loose when he jerked forward, Baekhyun's arm flailing and his elbow hitting his neck right over his larynx. He left breathless and voice turned hoarse when he tried to call out for help. He was informed that the neck injury will take two weeks to heal but one month later, his breath still came out short and no voice at all.

            "Throat trauma might take a while to heal, giving that you just recovered from your recent vocal nodules surgery. I suggest you take both therapies, psychotherapy and voice therapy. It will help a lot with the trauma and your...anxiety." The doctor gave him two cards for therapy session that he kept inside his back pocket. The first session was disaster and he didn't come at all for the next session. It was like reliving the accident