Today YongGuk will be filming his first solo music video and he is excited, nervous and ready to get started. From the moment he woke he just wanted to start shooting and he almost stepped to BangHim simply because his mind was so far off that he didn’t notice the cat being clingy. He didn’t notice him following him out the apartment either and it wasn’t actually until he was deciding whether or not to take the car or the motorcycle that he noticed that he had a companion. He know better than to try and deny the cat what it wants so he just brought him and hopes there won’t be anyone allergic to cats.

He arrives at the agency where he will be transported with the other people appearing in the video to the location. BangHim is a hit and everyone wants to pet the cat and asks about the name. YongGuk just tells them to call it Banggie and reminds them Alex came up with it. Off course bringing up Alex brings up questions. That she left was not a secret but people didn’t talk about it. Suddenly it was just as if she vanished and YongGuk and her friends didn’t mention her so no one asked. The few times someone did ask YongGuk never really answered and just discarded the question. There are rumors about her being back but the circumstances are still not something everyone knows about and YongGuk isn’t quite ready to discuss it all even less considering that he and Alex isn’t even sure where they stand in their relationship.

At this point they are still reconnecting and so far it has worked out well but he still misses her every night  when he goes to sleep and when he wakes up without her it gets a little harder to get out of bed.

He is sitting in the dressing room with BangHim sleeping on a chair at his side waiting for the makeup artist who is a bit late. He knows if he tells anyone she’ll be scolded and the others appearing in the video is probably getting done but he isn’t gonna start out the day by ditching on someone he has knowing for a long time. She has been taking care of B.A.P. as well so it makes him feel a little bit like old times.

“Oh god I’m so sorry!”

YongGuk turns in his chair and sees the lady supposed to get him ready rushing through the door

“My husband couldn’t take the baby and he threw up on me before I had to go… The baby not my husband” she shakes her head and clarifies with a deep sigh “Oh god are they very angry with me?” she looks over at YongGuk who gives her a smile and shakes his head “I didn’t tell them you weren’t here. Don’t worry”

“Oh you are a treasure” she breathes out and puts her things down. She has been on maternity leave for a while and has just re her first job that hasn’t been planning looks.

“Let’s get started” She immediately gets started on his hair making a few comments about what she is going to do to him with a sly grin “You must be so excited. I hardly hear anything from you and then suddenly I get a call telling me my first big job back will be with my favorite rapper” she chuckles and moves her fingers through his hair with the experience of a pro and the delicacy of a woman “I love the track by the way”

“Thanks” YongGuk smiles “I’m your favorite rapper?”

“Are you kidding?” she chuckles “Off course you are but don’t tell Zelo. I tell him the same thing” she smirks and winks at him getting him to laugh.

“I heard all of the tracks on your upcoming album. It is really good” she smiles softly and does his hair “You have gotten into some deep stuff. It almost feels like I get a look into your head but…” she tilts her head a little and sends him a look in the mirror with a hesitant look in her eyes “You do know there are many rumors about you and Alex right?”

“I know” YongGuk nods and lowers his eyes “I haven’t heard them but I figured” she sighs and looks at her again “So what is your take on it?”

“You are gonna make me guess?” she frowns a little and steps back looking at his innocent expression. He nods a little with a little sadness in his eyes “I’d like some objective eyes”

“That’s not wise when I don’t know the details” she points out wisely and returns to doing his hair. YongGuk sighs and nods “I guess” she sticks out his lower lips and lets his shoulders slump unhappily something he knows will get her to feel sorry for him even if she knows he is fine. It was a trick he and the other used to use all the time to get away with something. She is a er for cute and loves to pamper. “Aish” she flicks his ear and sends him a glare “Stop that you big baby, why don’t you just tell me what is wrong instead of me having to guess. I don’t do that”

“You always assume tons of things” YongGuk objects and pouts even bigger now just wanting to bug her a bit since it has been so long “You even guessed when Alex and I were fighting before I even told the others”

She finishes up his hair and steps back looking at his face. He is not hard to read and wears his emotions on the sleeve, he seems to be smiling and happy a lot and in front of cameras you can’t tell but as soon as you catch him alone or in his own thoughts every emotion is painted on his face. “Are you and Alex still together?” she lowers her tone and gives him a motherly look

YongGuk looks down at his hands and lifts his shoulder “Kind of…”

“Kind of? What happened?”

“She left me” YongGuk mumbles “We went to see her parents and she didn’t come back with me”

“What?” she leans against the table and frowns “Why?”

“I was suffocating her and she felt trapped” YongGuk looks up at her “I think it was the right thing to do but… it was hard”

“So have you talked to her since?”

“She is back” YongGuk nods “a month ago she showed up outside my door and wanted to try again”

The makeup artist observes him carefully and frowns wondering why she hadn’t heard anything about this sooner. Alex not even being in the country is a big deal.

“She is staying with Seungho while we try and work it out” YongGuk mumbles and looks down “My brother thinks I’m hopeless, his girlfriend says I’m romantic, HimChan says I’m an idiot and I… I don’t know” he shrugs and breathes out “She is pregnant… happened before she left but she didn’t know and now we’ll be parents and I could get everything I ever wanted but…” he shakes his head and looks at her “It’s Alex… What if she takes off again?”

The makeup artist smiles softly and places her hand on his shoulder “She won’t”

“How can you know?” YongGuk frowns “Everyone keeps telling me I can’t know and just have to accept it”

“Motherhood changes people” she smirks and gets working on his makeup “I’ve met Alex and I saw her with that kid who died. She’ll be the best mom she can be and that would not be running off”

YongGuk thinks about her words and pouts a little again “I would feel better if you said she’d stay for me and not just the babies”

A chuckle leaves her as she applies his foundation “Sorry with you’ll be second place in her world from now on”

“What?!” YongGuk looks up at her “Why?”

“The baby will be number one, get used to it. It may be hard to accept that all her attention will be on the baby at first” she explains with a smile “Trust me I know. My husband has been so depressed that he isn’t getting any attention” she lets out a small laugh and shakes her head as she continues to do YongGuk’s makeup.

“I guess then… it’ll be worse when it is twins” YongGuk sighs “She’ll forget all about me”

“Twins?” she looks at him for a sec stopping what she is doing and laughs with a couple of nods “Yup. You’ll be nonexistent”

 “YongGuk we need you out here in 5!” a man yells in the door and disappears.

“Better hurry up then” the makeup artist picks up her pace and focus on getting him ready while he sits and thinks about what she said about the babies always coming first. He isn’t that keen on sharing Alex in the first place, these days she and Seungho is closer than ever so he is already feeling like he is sharing her.

“Done” she ushers YongGuk to get up and out the room giving him a reassuring peptalk on the way.

The part of the musicvideo they will be filming now will take place in a long tunnel with some dancers dressed up as homeless people. All YongGuk really has to do is walk from one end to the other while performing the song with the appropriate gestures and expression. He’ll be doing it in two outfits, one dark with, dirty, black and representing all the bad accompanied with a more violent behavior where he shoves the dancers out of his way. The other look represents the good and he’ll be in a light outfit, clean and his gestures will be controlled, calm and really just the complete opposite. The musicvideo will be simple and a mix of the two looks walking through the tunnel. After this part the beginning and the ending will be filmed outside. The music video will start with casually dressed YongGuk walking in the evening on the street. He’ll pass the entrance to the dark tunnel where the humming recorded by Hyosung will be coming from causing him to stop. There’ll be a rather long pause, he’ll look around to see if anyone heard the same and then he’ll look back into the darkness, smirk and walk in. Then the music will start again and he’ll be walking through the tunnel filled with the vermits of the night, drunks, homeless and he’ll  be changing between the good person who is saddened and wants to help and the bad person who is just angry and couldn’t care less. He’ll continue out on the other side and the music will pause again. A camera will move from the ground and up him slowly showing that his clothes is now a mix of the bad man and the good man, his expression will be harsh, his eyes lined with black and he’ll be smirking as he adjust his jacket but then he’ll crouch down and a cat caringly over the back before standing up and walking away with the humming of Hyosung from the tunnel. The last frame will be from ground view and will show a blurry YongGuk walking away while a blue eyed cat looks into camera and then sets in a run after disappearing with him in the distance while the camera fades into black.

The cat part wasn’t planned but BangHim inspired the director who was fascinated with the blue eyed cat who kept sticking close to YongGuk and yet stayed put when told but only by YongGuk.

After the director calls the final cut everyone claps and YongGuk bows deeply and thanks everyone for the hard work. BangHim runs straight over to him from the chair he had been sitting on next to the director and purrs as he rubs against YongGuk’s leg. YongGuk picks up the cat and rubs him behind the ear thanking him as well for the hard work.

The crew start packing up and YongGuk can head back home with the sunrise in the distance and BangHim sleeping in the seat next to him. He has a smile on his face and feels lighter in his chest, he is tired but with the filming done he has one less thing to worry about. Arriving home he carries the sleeping cat up and places him on Alex’s side of the bed before collapsing on his own side with a groan. He shifts his head and looks over at the corner where Alex’s chaise lounge has been standing empty for so long. He never sits there himself, somehow it feels like he is invading her space. He sits up and looks at the furniture imagining Alex sleeping next to Seungho, he was a bit bothered by hearing they share a bed even though he is sure there is no reason to worry. He really misses her.

Soundlessly he gets up and walks over to the corner and lies down on the chaise lounge. Closing his eyes his moves his arms around himself and sighs, if he tries really hard to focus he can almost make himself believe she is dreaming of him wishing she was with him as well.

In another part of town, in Seungho’s apartment Alex stirs in her sleep and reaches out a hand. She finds her way to Seungho’s hand and moves a little closer.

“Mmwhat?” a sleeping Seungho mumbles without opening his eyes.

“Just felt alone” Alex mumbles back and tries to fall asleep again. Seungho smiles a little and pulls her to him so he can hug her “Don’t worry. I got you” he breathes out and calmly they both fall asleep again.

Okay I'm gonna start by apologizing cause updates on this story is going so slow. It is partly because I'm busy with homework and job but also because I have started writing a new story. I didn't mean to start something new but I just couldn't let this plot go.

If you don't mind I'd like to swing the idea by you just to hear if I'm far out. It will be more on a darker note centering around death. It will be strange I think, my lead has no name but it isn't a YOU character, she has no feelings and hardly talks. Actually this is the short describtion of her: Sometimes we all wish we could just shut down our emotions and pretend like we don’t care but for her that was never the issues. She has never felt sadness or happiness, never been in love or felt hurt by other people’s words and she wouldn’t know what caring or empathy means. She is numb, she is cold as ice, she is perfectly broken.

Contemplating how much more I can say without ruining it for you if I upload it and you want to read it. I will tell you G.O. will be her neighbor and Seungho is G.O.'s best friend. YongGuk will be a junkie and Zelo... well... he is always around and maybe there will be more but I can promise it will be very very different from these three stories about Alex and the others. Basically this will be a story about a woman with a heart of ice in a world she doesn't understand who only knows how to kill. She isn't hateful thus she feels no hate and she isn't vengeful either. She is just broken and despite trying to keep people out a few is drawn to her.

Alex as you have said my dear readers is such a colorful person and I had no idea how I would ever write an OC that wouldn't be a copy of our dear Alex but this one without a name and with icy blue eyes someone won me over. I got into the idea after rereading the unfinished story I have up here and after realizing I couldn't just keep writing on that since I've changed since then I just started over.

SO did any of that sound interesting at all?? I'm still working on Alex's story so don't worry.