”You should smile more” the manager says as YongGuk returns after having been on a segment on some TV show. YongGuk glares after him and mumbles something about it being hard to smile when you haven’t slept more than three hours. The manager doesn’t hear but soon after orders YongGuk to go get changed so they can get moving.

YongGuk obediently nods and hurries to the room his belongings are in, maybe if he hurries he can close his eyes for about 5 minutes before the manager comes to rush him to the next thing on the list. He takes a deep breath and slaps his cheeks trying to get some energy but it is getting increasingly hard to keep a positive attitude and promoting his album has turned out to be a nightmare. He had been looking so much forward to it, the fans love the album and he has gotten great feedback from people he look up to but right now he wishes he had never finished it because his life these days are worse than the worst days he has ever had with Alex. It doesn’t help that he hasn’t really seen Alex other than watching her sleep for the past few days and the last time he saw her awake she was really upset. He wants to talk to her but just can’t figure out how, he can’t think straight anymore. Everything he does is just what he is told, he has no energy to do anything else.

He reaches the right door and opens it only to get a huge shock when he hears Seungho’s voice behind him and is practically pushed in. “We got to talk” Seungho says and forces YongGuk down in a chair. YongGuk sighs and rubs his eyes “Now? I don’t think that is a good idea”

“Yes now!” Seungho snaps and hits YongGuk over the head “Focus damn it”

YongGuk frowns and rubs his head while turning his attention to Seungho.

“Are you blind or what?” Seungho snaps and starts pacing around “I knew something was up and I thought if I stayed away you would step up and at least talk with her but apparently you are so damn busy with your own life that…” he stops and turns his head to YongGuk “What’s with you?” he snaps and steps towards the younger male.

“Just talk a little slower please” YongGuk sighs and pinches his nosebridge “I’m not sure I got it all”

Seungho steps closer to YongGuk and forcefully lifts his chin giving him a critical look. The makeup has done a good job at hiding how sickly YongGuk is starting to look but the decaying look in his eyes can’t be fixed that easily “Guk what’s with you? Are you sick?”

“No” YongGuk moves his head away from Seungho and lets his head drop “I’m just a little tired” he stomach starts growling very loudly and he adds with a sigh “And hungry”

Seungho pulls a chair over in front of YongGuk and sits down continuing to looks YongGuk over “YongGuk look at me for a moment”

YongGuk does as told and lifts his head giving Seungho a tired look.

“Listen to me carefully” Seungho continues “I don’t think you know what is happening. When did you last see Alex?”

“This morning” YongGuk shrugs “I checked on her before I left, she was sleeping” he gestures to get up and mumbles something about needing to change but Seungho pulls him back down on the chair “When did you last talk to her?”

YongGuk sighs and frowns as he tries to think back but it doesn’t take long before he gives up “I don’t know. Look, my manager will be pissed if I’m not changed in like… minus 5 minutes” she shakes his head and looks straight at Seungho who gets up and walks over to the door. YongGuk doesn’t think more of it and just gets up and starts redressing so he can get moving already sulking about the few minutes of shut eye he has missed out on thanks to Seungho.

He whelps in shock when Seungho is suddenly standing in front of him again and groans miserably “What now?”

“YongGuk, Alex hasn’t left that bed in 4 days” Seungho then says “She was at the firm the day after I visited but after that she has remained in the apartment and won’t talk to anyone”

YongGuk frowns and forgets about the manager for a second “What?”

“I just found out today” Seungho gestures at Kwan who is standing by the door “I was coming here to yell at you but you really didn’t know did you?”

YongGuk shakes her head while lowering it “I… I just thought the pregnancy made her tired… I leave so early and are always home late… I didn’t want to wake her up”

“It makes more sense now” Seungho mumbles and gestures at Kwan to come closer “Kwan showed me what Alex had been looking into the last time she was at the firm” he looks from the big boulder of a man to YongGuk who continues to look a little confused. “I said there was no way the schedule I saw could be for real, it’s not humane” Seungho mumbles and looks YongGuk over again with a worried expression “I said there was no way Alex would be okay with it”

“I didn’t tell her how much it is” YongGuk sighs and looks down “She has enough to worry about and her yelling at my manager wouldn’t exactly help”

“No that’s another thing” Seungho frowns “Alex knew about your schedule… She found out after I left, I figure you were already sleeping”

“She called us up in the middle of the night” Kwan says calmly “She wanted to know everything about your manager and your schedule. She was very angry”

YongGuk keeps his head hanging and sighs “So that’s why she was so angry that morning? She is mad at me…”

“Not you” Kwan corrects coldly “Your manager” he hands YongGuk a file and crosses his arms “Your manager isn’t just paid by your agency”

YongGuk frowns and looks at the file without opening it “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Alex didn’t really share her thoughts with us” Kwan says remaining as stoic as ever “But even I know that you are a way to get to Alex. This city will pretty much be in the hands of whoever can control the red devil”

“YongGuk you have to talk to Alex, I was by her place but she wouldn’t let me in” Seungho sighs and steps closer to YongGuk “This isn’t like her. Alex has never just hidden herself away, I’m really worried”

“You know her better than me these days” YongGuk mumbles and looks to the side “She doesn’t even call me when she goes to the hospital” he huffs and steps back still with the file in his hand but not really having the mental capacity to process what he has heard and right now the little focus he has is on being depressed about Alex and him not being as close as they once were.

“She knows your career is important and she didn’t want you to have to worry about her as well!” Seungho snaps and steps after her “YongGuk she is worried about not being fit to be a mother and she doesn’t like feeling alone with everything. She thought she was doing you a favor by calling me instead”

“You love that she calls you and not me” YongGuk whines and scowls at Seungho who nods convincingly “I do. I really do and I’m not denying it”

This has YongGuk looking even more unhappy but Seungho isn’t finished and gives YongGuk’s shoulder a hard push “But is it me she came back to be with? Is it me she has promised to marry? Is she carrying my kids?”

“No” YongGuk mumbles and pouts he has now forgotten all about the file and it drops to the floor as he moves his hands to his head “I’m too tired to think” he staggers back till he hits a wall and slides down to the floor just as the door is opened and his manager steps in.

“YongGuk what the hell is…” he stops when he spots Kwan and for a moment the massive size of Alex’s employee has him freezing in the spot.

Seungho moves his eyes from YongGuk who is trying to focus despite his whole face screens that the needs a break. He turns focus to the manager and feels his temper rising “I didn’t know phycological terror had become an accepted for of managing” he snarls and takes a step towards the small man who takes a step back “I-I don’t know what you are talking about”

Seungho snorts and rolls his eyes before turning to Kwan telling him that they are taking YongGuk with them now. The manager loudly objects and asks if they are trying to ruin YongGuk’s career but neither Seungho nor Kwan has anything more to say to him and YongGuk doesn’t have the strength to object and is so focused on trying to figure out what is going on with Alex that he is deaf to the yells from his manager.

Seungho and Kwan then drives back to YongGuk’s agency and forces YongGuk, who had fallen asleep the instant he sat down in the car, with them to the CEO’s office. Kwan was holding YongGuk up while Seungho asks the CEO if he really has okayed this kind of treatment. YongGuk manages to fall asleep while standing and has no clue what else is said at the little meeting.

The next time he has any kind of idea about what is going on he is being helped into his apartment by Kwan who removes his jacket and then pushes him further in.

“I’ll come by later” Kwan says and closes the door leaving YongGuk rather confused and alone. He has no clue what happened to Seungho and isn’t quite sure if it is okay that he is home. He removes his shoes and staggers further in intending on going to the studio so he can sleep when he remembers Seungho saying Alex haven’t been out of the apartment in days. He looks towards the bedroom “Alex…” he mumbles her name intending to call out for her but couldn’t find the energy.

He puts one foot in front of the other and ends up at the door to the bedroom which he opens slowly. As the door moves to the side he sees her sitting in the bed with her back resting back against her pillow and in her hand she is holding a small piece of clothing, there are some photo’s in a pile in front of her and some other small things YongGuk doesn’t currently have the capacity to recognize. He walks towards her she lifts her head and looks at him, her lips move up into a small smile as her hands with the clothing is dropped onto her lap.

“Hey” YongGuk puts on a little smile and stops next to the bed. Alex clears the space beside her and he sits down next to her and breathes out as he head lands on her shoulder “What are you doing?”

“Thinking” Alex responds and moves her hand up to his cheek it softly “You don’t look good Guk”

“I know” YongGuk mumbles back and sighs “Is it true you haven’t left the apartment in 4 days?”

Alex moves her hand from his cheek and down to the clothing. She nods and looks towards the windows “I thought… maybe if I just hide people will forget I ever existed and it would all just go away” her voice is calm and YongGuk doesn’t sense any anger or sadness. He lifts his head with the remaining energy left in him and looks at her, in return she turns her head and looks at him as well. “Stupid I know” she smiles bitterly and looks back at the clothing in her hand. YongGuk kisses her shoulder and moves an arm around her bringing her closer to him “You think if I hide with you it will help?” he asks with a bit of a light tone and he smiles when Alex lets out a short chuckle and looks up at him “I thought the point about fame was people remembering you”

“It is overrated” YongGuk shrugs and places his head on her shoulder. He is finding it very hard to stay awake much longer despite him really wanting to talk to Alex about why she wants everyone to forget her. She doesn’t say anything and the lasting he hears as his eyes fall shut is the sound of her breathing calmly.

When he wakes up he feels fingers softly running through his hair and his lips automatically moves up in a smile. He doesn’t even want to move but something under his head is feeling funny. He sighs and lifts his head with a yarn feeling more rested than he has in weeks. He looks at his ‘pillow’ and realizes that he has been using Alex’s big belly. He isn’t quite sure how that happened but forgets about asking when he turns his head to Alex’s face where he is met by a smile “Slept well?” she asks and moves her hands over the belly “I think they liked having daddy close”

YongGuk smiles and turns a bit so he can look at her better “I slept very well” he nods and moves a hand over her stomach.

“Good” Alex grins and then moves to the edge of the bed “Now I gotta go pee” she gets up with some difficulties thanks to the sheer size of her stomach and almost runs with YongGuk unable to stop himself from laughing. He looks after her and shakes his head before turning his attention to the things still lying beside the space on the bed she was in. The small clothing he saw turns out to be a pair of onesies in white with writing on them, on one is written Half Angel and the on the other is written Half Devil. He hasn’t seen them before and picks both of the up before getting out of the bed. There pictures turns out to be of all her friends and the others things he couldn’t make out is among other things the pair of rings he bought, his album and a magazine with an article about herself.

He moves out the bedroom and frowns, through the windows there is what looks like a sunrise but that wouldn’t make sense since he came home in the afternoon and couldn’t possibly have been sleeping for that long. He walks over to the windows and looks out with the baby clothes in his hand and looks out at the sunrise, he remembers the first morning Alex had spent in the apartment. She had woken up before him and had been dancing around in front of the sunrise looking so incredibly beautiful he had felt like everything was perfect. Back then he thought their lives were going to be easier from then. His hand closes tightly around the clothing and his jaw clenches a little as everything that has happened since Alex returned is processed in his head. In particular he thinks about what Seungho said yesterday about the manager being paid off by more people than the agency and the whole getting to Alex through him as well as Alex wanting to just hide and have everyone forget about her.

“Guk?”

He turns rapidly by the sound of Alex’s voice and sees her walking towards him with a slight frown

“Are you okay?”

He nods and turns his head back towards the windows “I slept till morning didn’t I?”

Alex nods and walks over to him sliding her hands around his arm “You needed the sleep” she spots the clothing in his hands and places her chin on his shoulder “My brother sent me those” she looks at YongGuk’s expression and gives his cheek a kiss “What’s on your mind?”

“Why are you hiding Alex? Who are you hiding from?”

“Everyone” Alex mumbles and sighs “Myself… you shouldn’t put much into it, I’m pregnant and uncomfortable everything is right now” she tries a joking tone but YongGuk’s face remains serious and he turns his head and looks at her “You knew my manager was overworking me didn’t you?”

Alex moves her chin of his shoulder and lowers her head as she nods “I should have done something… I know but… I’m sorry Guk”

“Why are you apologizing?” YongGuk frowns “Alex it isn’t your fault, you aren’t responsible”

“But I am!” she raises her head and looks at him “All I had to do was what they want and they would leave you alone but I just…” she lowers her head again “I couldn’t… I know it’s stupid but I thought if I just vanish… If I’m not there to be controlled there would be no reason to try and control me”

“I’m not sure I understand… You want to run away?” YongGuk frowns and keeps a close eye on her feeling like the last time Alex left him, when he went back to Korea and didn’t know when he would see her again.

“No I don’t” Alex shakes her head “I want to be here with you, I’m not going anywhere” she hugs his arms and leans her cheek against his shoulder “I’m just… never gonna leave the apartment ever again”

YongGuk moves his hand to hers and places it over them  “It would drive you insane to be locked up in here. Alex why can’t you just… put them in their place? Who says someone has to get control of you?”

Alex remains silent and the pieces of the puzzle starts falling in the right places for YongGuk. He looks out the windows and frowns “Right… There is me” he shakes his head and looks at the sunrise “My career…” he is well aware that to get somewhere in this business with the way everything is in Korea you have to have connections to make it big. If shows cut your off, radios don’t play your music and magazines don’t ever mention you it is pretty much impossible to make it big. With the right connections people can be brought to stardom but they can as easily be brought down again if they piss off the wrong people.

“Sorry” Alex mumbles again “I’m really screwing up everything for you”

YongGuk pulls himself out of his thoughts and looks at Alex beside him. She has many flaws and has surely made his life a lot more difficult. He has lost count of the times he has been frustrated with her and how many times he has wished that she could just be like any other girl but she never was and will never be. He loves her for her courage and her attitude, when she puts people in their place he feels proud and he admires her strength and her ability to always move forward but this time it seems that she has been stopped. His career has but her in a cage, his dreams is are the bars, his music, the cause and the key to her cell is his future. If she lets herself out the key will be destroyed and his future along with it and if she hands the key over to the guard she’ll be forever trapped.

YongGuk turns himself towards Alex and looks at her lowered eyes, he doesn’t like seeing her like this. He remembers when he first saw her, the way she would step onto the stage and looks straight at him with that smirk, he remembers the intensity in her eyes, the utter defeat he felt afterwards and how much he hated that she had been the one who saved him later that night. He remembers how she showed up when he was still dealing with the aftermath of being , the cocky grin that got replaced by a smaller smile as she offered him her friendship. He remembers how she as drunk as could be scolded him and the others for getting into a fight that she had started, he remembers how it felt carrying her to MBLAQ’s dorm afterwards. The time she played with the kids in the park and kissed his cheek is still clear in YongGuk’s head, her smile had been so beautiful. He remembers how annoyed he was with Kei for showing up and he remembers how badly he wished he didn’t have feelings for Alex. He remembers how she used to call him a kid and as if it was yesterday he remembers how he felt when he called her a monster. Thinking about the time he confessed his feelings to her in that club still makes his heart beat a little faster and the first time they spent a night together was very special to him. He remembers all the times she showed up randomly just because she wanted to see him, the way she’d help them out be distracting the manager so they could get a break. He remembers the moment he thought she was gonna die, when she left him behind the piles of junk so he could be safe while she was ready to die for him. He remembers when she told him she remembered him, then the fights, the break up, the feeling of thinking she had moved on, watching her drop unconsciously to the floor as Tahnee tried to kill her… he remembers wanting to move on, thinking it would be better if they parted… Getting back together, learning she would die, getting engaged, thinking he had seen her smile for the last time, Sok giving his life for her, the small flicker of a happy life they had before she had enough and needed to go her own way.

Softly YongGuk lifts her chin and moves his thump over her skin. She did what she wanted to, she broke away from the prison she had created for herself but as she stands in front of him now she is trapped again but not by herself. The ball and chain around her foot is him.

Yea I'm dragging it out I know :P Seungho to the rescue. What is YongGuk gonna do now? xP The ball in is his court