He, who felt lost

The moon is our sun

With a swift movement he opened the curtains in his bedroom looking out at the garden just taking in the view. The sun was high up in the sky by now and illuminated the grass and flowers. The view has beautiful and he wished he could go out there feeling the grass under his bare feet and the sunrays warming his skin but today he at least could stay here by the window looking at the sun by afar. Himchan wished he could feel like this every day. He wanted more of this strong human blood, wanted more of the strength it gave him but he also wanted to be at Yong Guk side, smelling his sent, feeling his touch. Never in his live thoughts like this had been running through Himchan’s mind and he had no idea what to do with them, especially since he knew meeting Yong Guk would be dangerous for the later. He had been thankful that Jong Up indeed succeeded to get his mother out of the house in time, because Himchan was sure that if this mother knew about the existence of Bang Yong Guk she would do everything to get as much of his blood as Himchan needed. She would not care if Yong Guk wanted it or not, she would only do what was best for her son. Himchan had to let Yong Guk leave, even if he hadn’t insisted he would have had to make him leave. Himchan had to keep it a secret in front of his mother and he had to get those two left ampoules of Yong Guk’s blood secretly to the research facility. One of the hardest things to explain to his mother would be why he suddenly felt so good and could move around without getting tiered. He had no idea how long the effect would last he could only hope that his condition stayed like this for a while longer.

“Do you need anything?”                                                

Himchan turned to the door where Jong Up had entered the room.

“No, thank you.”

“Don’t you want to rest, the banquet is tonight,” Jong Up asked him. Himchan could hear concern in his voice.

“I’m feeling fine. Is my mother back yet?”

“She is on her way.”

“How did you do it? How did you get her to leave in such a short time?”

“I asked someone for a favor. He made some mistakes with the food catering for the banquet tonight and I told your mother it would be best if she went herself. You know how important it is for her that everything is going to be perfect.”

“Yes, I know. Thank you Jong Up, you’re really a big help. Inform me when my mother returns than I can fake that I’m not feeling well at all, maybe she lets me off.”

“I don’t think this will work, you look healthier than I have ever seen you before.”

“Just inform me please.”

“Yes sure,” Jong Up said and left the room again.

Jong Up was probably right there was no way around him. His mother had already told him that he was expected to appear. Himchan hated this kind of events where all with power and influence gathered being it the really rich ore the really old vampires. Even a few humans came. They were those who knew, those who gave blood and received something in return like money or help of any kind. Under vampires those where called blood-contractors, something he hoped Yong Guk to be one day.

His father had been a member of the council. His family was one of the most influential in Asia. Only the elder vampires mostly from the east of Europe were more respected but probably none of them would come today what would make him the one of highest status and he didn’t like the thought of it at all. He still knew how it had been as a child when everybody starred at him and talked behind his back, the time were it was still unknown that his blood could save the soulless, the time where everybody expected to see one of the most powerful vampires but saw a small fragile boy that hardly had enough strength to stand on his one feet. It had been the most embarrassing times of his life. Of course nobody dared to say a word but he had seen the disappointed looks in their eyes, the ways their faces changed when he introduced himself with the name of Himchan, wishing every time his father would have given him just any other name. With his father’s death and the new discovery of the saving power of his blood things had changed and the vampire community started to treat him with much more respect but it didn’t change the fact that he had lost most of his respect for them. All the old memories became vivid every time he had to attend one of those banquets and even with Jong Up, Daehyun and Youngjae around him he felt lonely and small around all those people that emitted such a strong aura of power. He always felt like a small child surrounded by grown-ups that wondered why he could not understand what they were talking about and why he was so small. After these banquets he felt not only his body weakened but also his mind and he hated it. At least today his body would be a little bit stronger than the rest of the times.

 

Himchan put on the jacked of his black suit. He liked wearing suits, he had the feeling he looked best in suits. The occasion could just be a different one.

“Are you ready?” Youngjae asked him. Jung Up, Daehyun and Youngjae were all dressed up in suites too, waiting for him.

“No, I’m not.”

“Master Himchan, you’re dressing up since over an hour now,” Daehyun complained.

“I thought we were over the discussion not to call me master.” His tone was rougher then he had wanted it to be, he blamed it on being too nervous and tense.

“Yes, if we are alone that is, but not with that many people around,” Youngjae explained while putting a hand on Himchan’s shoulder. He could feel himself relax a tiny bit.

They went all down to the ceremonial hall. It had been decorated and a buffet with all sorts of delicacies could be found. Soft jazzy music filled the room and he notices a few conversations mute as he entered. Himchan was normally no person who disliked attention but this kind made him feel uncomfortable.

“Mr. Kim, what a pleasure that you grace us with your presence,” someone took the initiative to talk to him first. Himchan could not remember if he had seen this man before. He looked like being in this late forties but Himchan could sense that he was quite an old being. He had no interest to get to know him but he had to be polite otherwise he would make this miserable evening even more miserable.

“I excuse myself for not coming more often to events like this one.”

“Oh no, there is nothing to excuse yourself for, it’s just nice to see you doing this well.”

“Thank you.”

“I have heard someone under you found the serial killer.”

“Yes, that is true.”

From the corner of his eye he saw his mother smiling at him, looking pleased probably because he had not looked himself up in the room as he had tried a few times before.

“It is remarkable that your vampires could find him when nobody else could.”

“They are not mine.”

“Excuse me?”

“They are not my vampire, they just work for me.”

The older generation had a bad habit to refer to vampires as there possession if they were of lower rank, something that Himchan absolutely detested.

“This is what I wanted to say, excuse my choice of words.” Himchan knew he was lying but the worst he could do was making a scene.

“You should keep them close, the hunters broke their side of the bargain.”

“What do you mean? How?” Himchan had only heard old stories of the humans that called themselves hunters and of the old contract that was formed. He had doubted that they even existed.

It was the first time he was truly interested and he could see he was not the only one because a small circle had formed listening to their conversation.

“My son was there; let him tell you what happened.”

Someone a bit older but a head smaller than Himchan approached him.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Himchan greeted him.

“The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Kim.”

“Mr. Kim is interested in the confrontation you had with the hunters.”

“A terrible incident. I and a few other vampires had a meeting about how to get the serial killer that your vampires so successfully hunted down as suddenly three man stormed into the building trying to kill us. They were well trained, we had a hard time to defend ourselves and two of our kind did not make it out alive. They were humans for sure. We could not even get one of them. They disappeared as soon as they appeared. These were not humans that coincidently found out about vampires, they knew exactly what to do. They were hunters for sure.”

“But hunters should not kill any vampire if he did not kill any human, so why weren’t they after the serial killer instead?”

“Maybe they thought it took too long for us to find him.”

Himchan could not believe what he was hearing. It had always heard stories about old times when hunters and vampires fought a hidden war against each other until a contacted was formed and the council was build. The members of the council were all well respected and powerful vampires that cared that a few laws were followed by every vampire. His father had been a member and his mother certainly wanted that he became one too, even if Himchan was not pleased with this idea a bit.

“You should not concern yourself with this matter to much, the council will handle it.” The vampires talking to him also seemed not to want him to be a member of the council as well.

“I have no doubt about that.” He just hoped they would handle it better than the serial killer case and he hoped this evening would be over soon because the hunter story had him soon surrounded by persons declaring their opinion about his matter.

 

+++

 

He didn’t even know what all his morals were worth now that he walked away from someone how needed his help even if he was not a human being. Yong Guk had always been a person who was against discrimination of any kind and now he found himself going against his own mindset. He could not comprehend why he had insisted to go home as soon as possible, why he had not wanted to stay and ask more questions. His mind was running in circles, all he could think about was this fragile person begging him, to give him some of his blood. He had seen his eyes glowing again, he had seen some color returning to his face, he had seen his blood had some kind of effect on the vampire, he had seen all of this and he just walked away.

Yong Guk was looking out of the small window of his apartment were the middays sun illuminated the grey city buildings. He tried to recreate the way the two drove in the morning. On his way to Himchan he had been tired and dizzy but on his way back he had tried to remember every turn they made. It was not like he could go to the police and report him even if he had had this thought for a moment and he was still not one hundred percent sure that everything this blond man told him was really the truth, it was just so hard to believe. He had seen it with his own eyes and yet he could not be certain. If the believed all this it would change so much. His definition of how his live should be of his morals and ethics got blurry and out of focus. He was not sure if he could go on as if nothing happened but on the other hand what else could he do. His eyes moved to the poster with the UNICEF logo on the wall. Since his first part-time job he had always put some money aside to give it to charity. It was never much but he always believed that people could change the world for the better and should never walk away of those in need and now here he was betraying his own position because he had been afraid of the unknown.

He thought about calling his brother. He knew his brother would believe him even if the story was as bizarre as his but he decided to do otherwise. He did not want to get his brother involved in it, not if he didn’t know these creatures were not something evil, some king of demons as most of the legends and stories made them for sure. He personally didn’t think so, the one that attracted him may be but certainly not the one named Himchan, not anyone with eyes as innocent as his. Yong Guk took a look at the clock hanging on the wall. It was already late for class so he decided not to attend today, he would not concentrate anyway. He was studying politics and always dreamed about working for a human rights organization but his dreams seemed to get somewhat unimportant with what he had seen. He didn’t know what human rights meant when there where different things out there than humans and he didn’t even know how many of them and what kind. It was time to do some research and the easiest way seemed to take a look at what google would tell him about them but first he had to cook himself some ramyun.

 

+++

 

Going to the research facility one day after the banquet was not a good idea in Youngjae’s eyes but if Kim Himchan made up his mind there was no arguing with that. Himchan’s body might be weak his mindset was definitely not. Youngjae knew Himchan had been through a lot in this past and it made him a stronger person that Himchan himself knew he was. Youngjae had seen Himchan grow up and he had respect for the person Himchan had become. With vampires having old-fashioned traditions and rules Youngjae always hoped that Himchan would become a person that would bring in some change. He was still a young vampire and since he had lived his live rather protected and isolated he had not these stupid ideas that humans were either potential blood-contractors or hunters that needed to be eliminated but he saw humans as what Youngjae saw them, fellow beings. Youngjae himself would never have enough influence, but Himchan’s case was entirely different.

“What are you thinking about, you didn’t even notice me,” Youngjae heard Daehyun say from behind him his voice soft and melodic and turned around.

“About the future, about what should be changed,” he answered.

“You mean you were thinking about the past,” Daehyun’s tone suddenly becoming a complete different one.

“I told you I left the past behind me. I just want that things change.”

“Himchan is not the right person to lead your revolution. He is too weak for something like this, you should know this.”

“If not Himchan, who else? I don’t want a revolution I just want them to have a different mindset. Why do all vampires have to look down on humans?”

“And what do humans think about us? They see us as demons, as monsters, as a threat that needs to be killed. The only humans that live in peace with us are the ones who are greedy enough to be bribed.”

“It doesn’t have to be like this. Humans and vampires can live together in peace.”

“I don’t want to hear about your old tragic love story again. Please, you promised to forget and go on.”

“But that’s what it is about, going on and thinking about the future.”

“No, don’t tell me you think about Himchan and this human Yong Guk. No, Youngjae I beg you, get these romantic fantasies out of your head.”

“You saw the way Himchan looked at him,” Youngjae tried to convince him.

“That is why I watch TV-dramas without you, look what ideas form in yours this head of yours.”

“I just want people to be a little more open-minded, that’s all.”

“Is it? Or do you want a human boyfriend back?” asked Daehyun, his voice tense.

“You’re asking me to forget and then you always accusing me. Why are you doing this?”

“You’re the one who is always indulged in reminiscences instead of thoughts about your husband!” Daehyun suddenly screamed and stormed of their room.

Youngjae sighted. It was not the first time they had this kind of argument and it would surly mot be their last. Daehyun was the one who had saved him as he had been engulfed in darkness and sorrow because he had lost the person he had once loved as he was killed be members of his own kind. Daehyun had been there when he thought that he should take revenge on every vampire living for what some of them had done and told him that this was wrong and that this was wrong and it had been a hard time for both of them so he couldn’t really blame Daehyun that he was angry. Youngjae knew that Daehyun was just afraid he would fall into thirst for revenge again. Youngjae was normally a very calculated and objective person but if someone he cared for was hurt he could forget all of that and he knew deep inside that involving Himchan in his plan of changing some of the long existing vampire laws was somewhat egoistic of him and Daehyun was right that he just could not forget what had happened in the past.

A knock on the door jolted him out of his thoughts.

“Come in,” he said. His voice sounded more tired than he had expected.

“I saw Daehyun outside, he looked rather angry,” said Himchan as he entered.

“We fought.”

“Again?”

“Again.”

“What was it about?”

“Just some old matters that we never resolved.”

“I wish you would not argue this much.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Himchan moved to the sofas and took a seat his movements slow and unsteady. He strength he had yesterday was slowly fading.

“What brings you hear?”

“What was going on yesterday?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yesterday the atmosphere was strange.”

“You noticed?”

He got a strange look from Himchan.

“Don’t get me wrong, but it’s the first time you ask me. Normally you’re never interested.”

“Normally all I care about is not to break down in front of everybody and make a fool out of myself,” said Himchan and Youngjae could hear Himchan’s voice wavering a bit.

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, nothing of it is your fault”

“About yesterday, something is definitely going on. I don’t know what but one thing was especially suspicious.”

“That would be?”

“The story about the hunter some of them told you about”

“Yes, this is indeed a bad thing that happened.”

“If it happened”

“Wait, you think they lied? But they all told the same story.”

“Exactly, they all told the same story. I asked every one of them to tell me every single detail about it and they told me the same story word for word.”

“That’s why you think they lied. They all were there, they all saw what happened.”

“If a tall person sees a person almost as tall as him, he would describe him as descent high, but a really small person would describe him as tall. Everybody has his own perspective on things but they all described precisely the same. They all talked about what they are going to tell you. It’s either something happened that they want to cover up or they were telling a fairytale.”

“I would never have noticed,” Himchan said. Youngjae knew Himchan felt at fault for not noticing. Youngjae blamed Himchans mother a bit for this, because she was overprotective, trying to shield Himchan from all the bad things around him, making him weak to it. Himchan was naïve and always saw the good rather than the bad in persons but vampires were normally strong and powerful creatures and it was the biggest flaw of the powerful, that they always want even more. The game of power and influence was a game now played over centuries and Himchan was still young, way too young to know how to play it. But Himchan needed to learn it and he needed to learn it fast and if his mother would not teach him, than Youngjae would, even if he found he was certainly not qualified for it, it was better than nothing. Youngjae thought about asking Daehyun for help but Daehyun was more hot-blooded, more a person to act and thing about the consequences afterwards or a more don’t think about the consequences at all kind of person. 

“Why would they make up a story about such a serious matter?” Himchan asked.

“I don’t know but it’s a good question to think about.”

 

Youngjae was walking slowly. He knew Himchan would have a hard time following otherwise. Daehyun was walking quietly behind them.

“Is Jong Up not coming?” Youngjae asked. Normally Jong Up followed Himchan around everywhere.

“He is already there. He went when the sun was still up.”

“Why do you go personally, you could just let us send the blood-samples?”

“I want to go, I have a few questions to ask. I still don’t understand a lot of things.”

“That’s because a lot of things are simply unexplored.”

“I’m driving,” said Daehyun suddenly interrupting them. Youngjae could hear he was still pissed.

“But you always drive,” he said just to add fresh fuel into the quarrel.

“Because I’m the better driver.”

“Says who?”

“Says..,”

“Guys, can you argue after you opened the car and let me take a seat inside,” Himchan intervened. Youngjae saw that Himchan was supporting himself on the car and wanted to rush to his side to help him but Daehyun was faster and put an arm around Himchan.

“Sorry Himchan, I’m going to open it immediately,” Daehyun said his voice as friendly as he could make it.

“You mean I’m opening,” Youngjae said.

“Why?”

“Because I have the keys”
“Just open it, I don’t care who of you,” Himchan said annoyed sunk down in Daehyun’s embrace because he could not stand on his feet any longer. Youngjae opened the car door feeling bad that Himchan had to suffer because of their silly fight. Without another word he gave Daehyun the car keys and took a seat passenger seat.  Daehyun started the engine and drove out of the garage.

“Are you feeling ok?” Youngjae asked Himchan carefully.

“Yesterday was just tiring, that’s all.”

“Are you sure we should be going? We can always go another day.”

“No I want to let the blood samples of Bang Yong Guk tested as soon as possible.”

“Yes, of course.”

Youngjae knew how important it was for Himchan to get to know more about the blood that could help him but he had the feeling they shouldn’t go. Himchan looked tired and exhausted and he should rather stay in bed. And he would rather have some time alone with Daehyun now to talk about their problems. The silence in the car was awful. The two of them were never silent and it was a bad sign. Light rain started as they left the property fitting Youngjae’s mood. He looked in the rear-view mirror. Himchan was leaning back his eyes closed. They had to drive over two ours and he should have brought a blanked for Himchan, knowing how easily he began to feel cold. But he was too preoccupied with his stupid argument with Daehyun to thing about anything else.

“I’m sorry,” Youngjae mumbled not wanting to wake Himchan up in case he slept.

“Let’s not talk about it now.”

“I just wanted you to know.”

He looked in the rear-view mirror again and saw that Himchan had a slight smile on this face. He was awake and had heard everything. Then something else caught his sight. The same SUV that he saw the last time he looked into the mirror was still behind them. It could be coincidence but since it was really late at night and only a few cars where on the road at such a late hour it bugged him.

“Can you turn right?” he asked Daehyun.

“But that is not the right direction”

“I think someone is following us.”

“Now you are getting paranoid,” muttered Daehyun but turned right nevertheless. The SUV followed them.

“Crap, you might be right”

Daehyun stepped on the gas and tried to lose the chaser as out of nowhere another black SUV appeared on their left sight. Daehyun took a sharp turn and Youngjae could hear Himchan scream behind them.

“They’re still behind us,” he informed Daehyun now being turned and looking directly out of the back window. With a crash one of the cars hit their care at the left back side letting everything shake. Himchan screamed even louder. Youngjae could see panic in his eyes. Daehyun tried not to lose control of the car as both SUV’s tried to surround them on both sides. Daehyun turned the car to their left and hit the chaser as hard as he could and accelerated again. The other SUV came from the left trying to get in front of them. Youngjae looked in front of them. There was a slower car in front so Daehyun had to drive onto the oncoming lane to pass it. As he drove onto the right lane again to avoid a collision one of the SUV’s had passed the slower car on the shoulder and was now in front of them, the other came from behind.

“What now?” Youngjae screamed.

“We have to get away somehow.”

Daehyun tried to sheer out but one of the SUV’s hit their car hard. Youngjae heard Daehyun curse as he tried to get the car under control but it began spinning. Then he felt a strong impact and his belt cut into his chest. He saw that the airbags had opened themselves.

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you ok?” Daehyun asked him, his voice full of concern. He just nodded. Than they both turned around to look at Himchan. He was lying at the backseat blood dripping from his head.

 

 

Author’s note: Who also misses Zelo in the story? He will make his appearance next chapter. Sorry, this chapter is not the quality I wanted it to be but  I’m starting an apprenticeship next week, so it’s a little stressful at the moment. Updates might take a little longer now. But I try to update on weekends.

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Comments

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whitecheonsa
#1
Chapter 11: I'm so hooked with the plot of this story. I'm looking forward to the upcoming chapters. ^__^
strangeneko
#2
Chapter 11: Seems like they hv to go according jaejoong's plan, so hope the best for jongup and daejae to meet the hunters ><
Lol you brought junsu's chihuahua, kiyeowooo :3

A normal convo with yongguk after a raging himchan, seems like it's the only med that himchan need X)

Thanks for the update! ♥
strangeneko
#3
Chapter 10: I think you don't hv to put any new character again for now..this is alrd good and simple and i love it :))))
But, it's all up to you author-nim if adding the guests will help you build the story :)

And himchan really should listen to daejae bcs everyone worry about him huhu
babiegel #4
Chapter 10: yay you updated :) I wouldn't mind if there was a few more guest appearances (like who's trying to kill Himchan, or who could be his allies or who was the hunter who recognized Yoochun, if he's not dead yet) I hope they manage to convince Himchan to at least listen & think really hard on what Jaejoong has to say to him.

It's interesting how everyone wants to either save Himchan or would rather have him dead. I also like that even though Youngjae, Daehyun & Jongup are suppose to listen to every command he has, they're willing to do whatever it takes to keep him alive even if it looks like they're betraying him.

Also I hope Zelo is able to help Himchan, even if it's just to help him calm down or just for someone to listen to Himchan's worries.
nonamereader01
#5
Chapter 10: Thanks for the update ^_^
Love it
xooxoox #6
Chapter 10: Akh! You updated~ I'm so happy~ it's very interesting~ can't wait for the next
KAZEYAMaruBis #7
Chapter 9: Ohhh shoot cliffhanger !!
Update soon !! Your story is really great I love it!!!
strangeneko
#8
Chapter 9: Ohmygod thanks daejae and jyj arrived on time !!!
But
But
But
Himchan were you totally hungry so you bite him, or you just protect guk bcs well yongguk is a human and the jyj seems dangerous for guk ?

Himlo ♥
TaketheFluff
#9
Chapter 9: I love the bond between Himchan and Zelo ^^
mishmush
#10
Chapter 9: omg it had already good plot and the story got even better!! I guess its a tvxq and jyj confrontation right?))) and all hail to okd vampire stories yay! (whishper your story-telling is good, but ive noticed few minor grammar mistakes,maybe you need yo seek for beta to make this story perfect)