(lel i died last month. now i'm back as a possessed zombie. this aint me bru this aint me in control of my bodeh)

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"Did you know that Venus actually rotates in the opposite direction?" 

Woohyun blinked a few times, before processing the words. It was 4 PM in the afternoon and he was ready for a nap. Slightly less exhausted, Howon shifted in his seat and stretched his arms out, letting out a large sigh. As Woohyun had semi-forced Howon to come to school and tutor him (or just teach him the entire course again), the two were squished side by side on one side of the desk. The library was filled with other students and peak study time usually came at 2, so they were able to locate a vacant spot after an intense game of "I spy the empty desk". 

"Why?"

Howon shrugged, "No one knows yet. Just like...99% of the rest of the universe."

He tugged on the collar of his hoodie absentmindedly and Woohyun caught a glimpse of the same silver chain that rested delicately over a set of sharp collarbones and under a simple white tee. 

Pretending to stare absentmindedly, Woohyun countered, "Did you know that Jupiter has more than 63 moons and there's this theory that one of them might be able to support life?"

"Huh... Which one was it?" Howon tilted his head to the side towards Woohyun and he could feel the gentle rise and fall of the other's breathing.

"Europa. It's a pretty name."

"It must be a pretty moon. At least, prettier than ours."

After a few moments of silence, Woohyun piped up, "Just a random thought, but what if people could turn into moons? Like, if they reincarnated into a moon somewhere out in the universe."

You'd be a pretty moon. Probably prettier than Europa, Woohyun-ah. 

"Well, obviously we'd have a lot of moons. But I guess that works since space is almost infinite and you never know what might happen out there."

Woohyun nodded in agreement, but suddenly remembered where he was originally supposed to steer this conversation. He crossed his arms once and decided after to just stuff them inside the bundle of his scarf that was resting on his lap - his hands got cold randomly. Howon looked at him curiously. 

"Hey...remember when I mentioned the story of the black hole and the star?"

The other man turned his attention to Woohyun and held his gaze full on, "Yeah of course. If you don't mind telling me, what was it about?"

Woohyun fiddled with the edges of his shirt sleeves before starting.

"I don't really remember the whole story, but I'll try to give a general run down. But basically, it was about a black hole and a neutron star-"

"and how the black hole committed cannibalism and ate his friend."

Woohyun looked so utterly serious at the statement that Howon almost wanted to laugh, but he gave the best "I-am-concerned" nod for the other man to continue.

"Dude I'm not kidding. Don't laugh ok." He feigned having taken offense at the response (grinned a lil) and sat up to better emphasize the dramatic elements of the story. "Ok maybe a little bit."

"Anyways, in a galaxy far far away, there was a single star. Millions of light years across the fabric of time and space, a black hole was born into the universe. By some very ed up chance (and physics), the star eventually traveled closer and closer to the black hole."

"Gravity?" Howon offered.

"Yep. But in this fictional case, gravity is analogous to Fate," Woohyun stretched open his hand and studied the lines in his palm, to focus on something.

So obviously, they meet in "space", which could be thought of as a society? And in this society, black holes were deemed unfit and harmful. It was frowned upon to merely exist. It held the lowest "social status" among the objects of the universe, even compared to the little meteroids and comets that float around and don't do .

Why?

Here's the weird part. 

Whenever another celestial object made even the slightest contact with the black hole, the object would lose a fraction of their memory. Of themselves.

The neutron star thought it was unfair to the black hole - which it was. It was lonely, trying to keep everyone away from itself. It hated taking away from other stars and it hated itself even more for being powerless. Well, guess what happens?

Like the countless other stars out there that have tried to befriend the black hole, the neutron star does exactly what the black hole begged not to do. Black holes don't do friends. Absolutely can't do friends, because each time a star gets close, it can only hurt itself. And then it disappears from the universe in a flash of light. The black hole refuses to let that happen again."

"So, does it?" Howon saw Woohyun's eyes soften at that question and his gut twisted when he had an inkling what was going on. 

"It tried. But the star fell in love."

Woohyun let out a sigh for dramatic effect, but it felt more real than it was intended to be.

"Every other object warned the star to stay away, but it was stubborn and stupid. In a way, it knew what was coming but still went ahead. It's actually pretty selfish, now that I think about it again," his voice became slightly hoarse at that and instead he focused on the warmth on his right side.

"He didn't care, and eventually forgot almost everything. Ironically, the only things he could recall were of the black hole.

You know how a black holes's gravity consumes everything in? Is it considered a sacrifice if being close actually made the star happy?"

"Woohyun-ah," Howon couldn't help but wonder who he was referring to, but what Woohyun gave him was already more than enough. 

"I guess in a way it's not a sacrifice, if the star was willing. Did... did the black hole love the star back?" Howon was unsure whether or not it was okay to ask, but it was out of his mouth before his brain could process it.

Woohyun smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, and Howon knew the answer already. 

"I don't know, did it? It could've been all one-sided the entire ing time." 

Howon craved to ask more but he held back.

When the time comes, if that time comes. 

After a long stall of silence, Woohyun turned his attention away from staring at his hands and tentatively looked up. There were a mix of emotions in Howon's eyes, but he picked out concern the fastest. Maybe he was just spouting random words that didn't mean much to the other man, and that was perfectly okay. He didn't expect anything, but dear ing lord he wished Howon knew. 

Maybe he wished for too much.

Woohyun turned his head at the sound of Howon's voice and was surprised to see the nearly the same emotions reflecting from his eyes - a sad nostalgia. 

"You know, I always thought I could detach myself from everything, while still caring a certain amount. But that obviously didn't work and I just ended up caring too much. 

It's kinda funny, but my motto used to be " regrets" and live while giving your everything. Cheesy, right?"

Howon let out a small laugh and continued,

"But it when things up while you're living like that; are the withdrawals worth it? Is it really worth feeling too much or too numb for essentially an indefinite amount of time?"

Is it worth getting hurt for?

"Howon...I- I know," Woohyun all but whispered

I know.

"Yeah...?"

They fell into a silence that wasn't uncomfortable, but both of them were deep in thought at how to proceed at this point onwards.  

Woohyun took notice of how close they were at that moment and a sliver of fear ran through his body.

Sensing him suddenly tense, Howon worried if he said too much, "You ok, Woohyun-ah?" 

"Yeah, I'm... I'm ok."

"If I said anything I shouldn't have just let me know okay?"

"Wait it's nothing you said, really-"

Howon moved his arm around the chair and gently carded his fingers through Woohyun's hair. The fear dissipated. 

"Really, it's nothing you said."

"Alright then..." 

Half yawning, he blinked away some of the fatigue ."If you're tired, we'll go home in a bit?"

Woohyun closed his eyes and nodded before giving Howon a grateful smile.

"Thanks, Howon-ah."

regrets.

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a/n:

LOL TBH I DUN EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED IN MY FIC CUZ IT'S BEEN SO LONG AYEEEEEEE

but yeh school. idk if it's even a valid reason anymore cuz every damn time...

who else is not ready for life lol holla :')

anyways, about the fic! idk what just happened!!!! i just kinda sat here for 2 hours and typed and boom pressed upload chap. and if i can't spell, it's probably cuz it's 1 am and im blind and i don't proofread lel

so yeh. woohyun totally just went hey here's my soul take it and howon was liek whoa uh k what do i do um how to help u let me just touch ur hair. i wonder when woo's gonna tell ho about gyu not thru vague metaphors. gg these two.

>_> idk if this is considered kickin it up a notch but hey they're getting closer? i tried guys. next chap i will try harder.

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O MY GOD LOOK AT THEM