Please listen to this while reading.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSn2tc7pPBs

-dream-

    I was running after a little boy who was two years older than me. His blond hair and his skin so much white that even the moon can only envied, made him looked like an angel. In my eyes, he was the thing the most precious in the world. I loved him more than anything else in the world. I was about to grab his thin wrist when he stumbled and fell on the floor. I quickly ran over him and helped him to stand up, it was at that time I could tears running flow from his beautiful brown light eyes.

"Are you hurt? Show me your arms, your legs, your hands, everything!" I said, full of anxiety, looking at all the parts of his splendid skin not recovered by his clothes.

"I'm okay, don't worry." He answered me between two sobs. I took him in my arms and I hugged him very tightly.This creature seemed so fragile at this moment that I was afraid it could break down into mille pieces.
"Kyuhyunnie..." He said shyly trying to calm down his sobs et hugging me back.

« hum? » I hummed burying my face in his neck in order to enjoy fully of his intoxicating and delicious strawberry flavor.
He reased his head and looked at me but always hugging me. « Please, promise me that you will never forget me if I die… » He murmured with news tears threatening to fall.

My eyes opened wine in shock. « Don’t say that! We will always be together! I promise you! And you, do you promise me to always be with me? » I screamed, shoking both of us. I immediately put my hand on his check and caressed it with my thumb. I never yelled in front of him before. I  felt guilty, I never wanted to hurt his feelings.

« Y-Yes. » He answered hesitely. « God know how much I would like to stay with you… » I could hear him whispered but I didn’t really understand what these words meant until this famous night…
 

    Suddenly, I was on a bridge, the darkness had swallowed the world, only the sound of the water and the bird’s song could be heard.
    But something wasn’t usual in this place and this thing was the frail figure of a boy I knew very well, sat on the bridge’s railing, his legs were swinging in the air.

« HYUKKIE!! » I ran to him and embraced him from the back. « Why are you doing that? » I screamed with tears in my eyes. « You promised me that you will always be with me! » I tightened my grip on him.

« It’s your fault… EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT! » He turned abruptly to me and give me a glare.

« W-What are you saying? What is my fault? » I asked stunned  by his words and the tone he used. He never was angry against me before.

« My familly! My mother, my father and even my older sister are dead because of you! If you didn’t exist, my life would always be like it was before I met you! » Tears fall heavily on his cheeks.

I put my hand on his cheek and took away his tears but he pushed me away violently, making me fall on the floor. I started crying too. I raised my eyes to him and I saw a sad smile on his face.

« Mianhae Kyuhyunnie… saranghae… » Suddenly, he jumped, I straigntened quickly, crying even more, and I leaned on the reiling.

« Hyukkie… » I called him with a trembling voice. No answer. « HYUKKIIIIE! » No answer again. I couldn’t stop my tears.
All of a sudden, I had an heavy headhache, my vision blurred and my chest tightened. I fell on the floor, my hand firmly gripping my shirt near my heart. Everything turned black, I fainted.

-end of the dream-


    I opened my eyes suddenly, panting and sweating. I straightened up quickly, looking around me for the presence of the person I screamed the name before. Nobody. It’s only at this moment I realized that I was in my bedroom.

« Again this nightmare… »  I took my phone on my nightstand and watched the screen to know the date.
It was the day of the year I hated the most… August 13th . I felt tears in my eyes again.

‘It has been seven years since the sky stole me the person I cared the most. The one who illuminated with a simple smile my days and my nights. The one who took my sorrow away. The one who stopped my tears with affectionate gestures.
He was my spirit, my soul, my heart… he was my everything. I didn't need anything else than him.
I loved him, even now, more than anything else in the world, but he never knew my feelings. It’s not because I was too shy, it’s totally the opposite. I wasn’t allowed to love him, my love for him was forbidden. Love between a vampire and an humain is a very serious sin for the vampire and if a vampire loves an humain, he must suffer in one way or another as a punishement.  I suffer since seven years and the pain I feel grow up every day…‘

I felt something wet running down my cheeks. Tears.. These tears were added to thousands of other already shed during these long years.

   I put my hand on my heart and firmly held my shirt. I couldn’t stand anymore. My heart is broken like my soul and nothing will rebuild them.
    I got up, took a shower,  dressed and went out of my house quickly, without even taking my breakfirst. Oh God, I hated this day so much.

***

    I wandered for several hours aimless, delaying the most possible the stand-off with nothing else except a cold rock.
It was 6 o’clock PM, I bought white and red roses and went to the cemetery with a slow and heavy step.
I went passed our primary school, so many memories together, laughing and happy, went up in my mind.

‘Since the day of Hyukjae’s death, of MY Hyukjae, I can’t eat properly, I lost weight at a horrible speed which make my parents worried. I don’t go out, except for school. I shut myself from the world and I became aggressive towards all the persons who approached me or talked to me. I’m broke, dead Inside. I’m nothing else than a wreck.’

    I arrived at the cemetery, there wasn’t nobody… alive. I walked in the aisles until he stopped in front of grave with a smal angel statue.

                                                                                                                  Lee Hyukjae
                                                                                                   April 4th 1986 - August 13th 2000
                                                                                                        Reap in Peace dear Angel.
 

 I put the roses ont the grave and, without realizing, I cried.

« I miss you… I miss you so much! Why did the life stole you from me? What did I do? And especially, what did you do wrong to know such an horrible death? »

I lied on the grave, I wanted to feel again Hyukjae’s heat but I only met the hardness and the coldness of marble.

« Please, come back to me. I know that is impossible but I can’t live without you. » Tears flew down matching on my cheeks.
I feel asleep with fatigue, the pain still present in my chest.

    But there was someting I didn’t know, someone was watching me away and was crying too.

     Happy Kyuhyuk day!