Minseok was useless to me. He probably lied too – about us being friends. I felt like a fool for trusting him. Lay was the only one I could trust; he did whatever it took to make me happy – he even killed for me, three times, on the basis that he thought (more like he knew) that it would be the best for me. No-one else could do that: only him, only Lay.

That night – the night they were killed – he had disappeared shortly after he had shown me what he’d done. It was too cold outside. I would have died from pneumonia or frozen to death if they – the staff – hadn’t found me quickly. Maybe that would have been better. I wouldn’t have been locked up in a tiny room, chained up like some sort of wild animal, if that had happened.

Minseok only came once since the incident. I told him to go away, that I didn’t want to see him ever again. He told me to come back, not to disappear again, nevertheless he complied.

Doctors were always coming to see me, though. Psychologists they were. They examined me, talked to me and tried to hold a conversation with me. But I knew they didn’t really want to talk to me – they didn’t really care how I felt – they wanted to look inside my brain, to see how I was thinking. What they wanted to do was read my thoughts; as if I was going to let that happen.

One of the staff that had helped to find me and take me into that room (whose name was Kris) said to me as he slid a bowl of cereal through the flap in the door, “Your friends’ boyfriends are in hospital now, you know.” He had to mean Kai and Sehun when he said ‘friends’, but at that point I wasn’t aware that they were somehow romantically involved with anyone. ‘Did he mean Luhan and Kyungsoo?’  He chuckled lightly at my bemused expression. “How would you like it if someone killed Minseok?”

“Very much,” I said sharply.

“No, no you wouldn’t.” He said it like he knew me. “You’d hate it. You’d want to kill whoever did it. That’s just human nature. That’s what happens when we fall in love.” That crazy fool thought I was in love with Minseok!

I scooted closer to the door – as close to it as I could while being chained to the wall opposite it. “I freaking hate that idiot’s guts and if you don’t watch out you’ll wake up one day and find your boyfriend dead.” That wasn’t like me at all; being in that place made me that way. I didn’t even know if he had a boyfriend.

He chuckled again – a chuckle that resembled that of Dr, Hibert from The Simpsons – and left. I was alone again. And that’s just how I liked it. When I was alone, Lay would come and comfort me.

Why were Kyungsoo and Luhan – if that was who he meant – in hospital? Was he saying it was my fault?

I didn’t see Kris again until a month later when I was allowed to leave the room – it was my ‘prize’ for being good. At first I was glad to be able to get some fresh air (sort of, I couldn’t go outside). My feelings changed quickly. I was sitting downstairs in what was called The TV Room. It only had one TV in it, so I thought the name was a bit false.

Kris was standing in the doorway, watching my reaction when it happened. My eyes were glued to the TV as I watched a news report. It was that moment that I was informed that after Kai and Sehun died, their boyfriends (who were in fact Kyungsoo and Luhan) had retreated to depression, and as a result they attempted to take their own lives. They’d been in hospital the same month I’d been locked up in that room. Just as I’d been let out of the room, they finally died. ‘So it was my fault. No, it was Lay’s fault. Something good will come of it.’

It was late at night when the door to my room opened and I was released from the chains. Kris had hold of my arms to prevent me from escaping. “Minseok told me you’ve always wanted to fly, so now we’re going to fly.” He spoke in a soothing voice and let go of my arms; I’d never seen this side of him before. No-one saw us as we left the building except for Tao – he was another ‘patient’ and was quite close to Kris, so I assumed Kris trusted him not to say anything about us sneaking out. He led me outside to his car. We climbed in and I sat next to him in the passenger seat. I didn’t recognise any of the places we passed on our thirty minute long journey.

I’d fallen asleep by the time we arrived at our destination. I woke up to the sound of gushing water and looked around for the source of the noise. That’s when I realised we were at a waterfall. The entire scene was mesmerising: the dark blue waves spilling over the edge of the falls; the gold and silver stars twinkling against the black velvet backdrop known to us as the night sky. “Enjoy the view.” I smiled until I heard him mutter, “While you still can.”

I wondered what he meant for a moment, but a deep voice interrupted my train of thought. “Did you really think I’d be as weak as Luhan and Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol. Why was he there? What did he mean – ‘weak?’  I turned round to face him. “Standing a bit too close to the edge there, don’t you think?”

‘So that’s what he meant by ‘fly’.’ For the second time in my life, I thought I was going to die. For the nth time in my life, Lay magically materialised. It wasn’t long before Kris – who had been standing beside me at the edge and who hadn’t turned round to face Chanyeol – had toppled over the edge. Water spurted from his mouth. His eyes widened in pure terror as the current pulled him closer to the drop. He didn’t even scream when it happened – when he fell toward the jagged rocks.

Chanyeol seemed utterly stunned at Lay’s appearance as he began to punch, kick, bite, and scratch Chanyeol in any way he could. Soon, he – like all the others – had stopped moving and his chest had stopped rising and falling steadily.

Lay embraced me before vanishing without a word. I slept there, by the waterfall, next to Chanyeol’s lifeless body that night.