Three weeks later I still didn’t remember Xiumin, but at least he took my mind off things for the meantime. Nobody else visited me – not Kai or Sehun, not my family, not even Lay. With Xiumin’s help, I slowly managed to forget about Baekhyun. The problem was I didn’t want to forget him. I didn’t want my friendship with Xiumin to replace my infatuation with Baekhyun, but it did.

“Why aren’t they coming? Do they hate me?” I sobbed into Xiumin’s arms one day. “They do hate me!”

“No, no they don’t. I’m sure they love you very much. Something probably came up.” His grip on my waist tightened slightly.

A horrible thought entered my mind. “What if Lay hurt them like he hurt Baekhyun?” My hand flew up to my mouth. Had I said too much?

“Lay? Never mind.” He shook his head as if to clear his mind.  “They’re fine – I’m sure of it. Do you have a phone? I’ll phone them for you.”

I sobbed even harder. “They took my phone away when I got here!” After a moment I added, “But I’ve written their numbers down in a notebook.” I rummaged through a cupboard that stood beside my bed and handed him the notebook when I eventually found it. He took it and left the room without a word.

While I awaited his return I took out the photo of the two of us (as children) and tried – as I held it my trembling hands – to remember it. I tried to remember him.  My mind ached with concentration yet I remembered nothing. Nothing.

“Don’t push yourself too hard. You can always try again tomorrow.” A soothing voice spoke and my tears halted; it was Xiumin’s voice. He knelt in front of me and cupped my face with his hands. “Do you know how far away from your friends you are?” Bemused, I shook my head slowly. “Very. They’re waiting for the school holidays to see you; it’s too far for them to travel frequently, especially now when they have to be at school.”

What about my parents? “Xiumin oppa, my parents – do they know I’m here?” His eyes turned serious, darker. They say your eyes are the windows to your soul; if that’s the case then something terrible must have had happened. He didn’t answer me. He got up and went out of the room, muttering something about the time and having to go.

That night – for the first time since I’d met him (again?) – I cried myself to sleep.

Thud. The heavy sack scraped along the rough terrain. “She’s so heavy. How far have we got to go?” An unusually familiar female voice said. The woman was dragging the bag along the floor behind her husband.

The man turned round and said “It’s not far, now. Look, it’s already in sight.” He pointed straight ahead to a mammoth grey building surrounded by huge electric gates.

They had almost reached the gates they began to hear muffled cries coming from the sack the woman was dragging. “Shut up!” She gave the bag a sharp kick and the sounds stopped.

“We’re almost here now. Don’t worry; I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time here.” His words were kind, yet his voice was laced with venom.

I woke up to the sound of my own screams. Was it true? Did my own parents bring me to that awful place – that prison? It would certainly explain Xiumin’s strange reaction to my question earlier.

When I finally gathered the strength to stop myself from screaming, Yoona yelled for help. “Help! Somebody come quickly!”

It took only seconds for an army of staff to burst into the room. By that time Yoona was shivering in a corner, whimpering some rubbish about me attacking her, while I was sitting up in bed, bewildered. Two women wearing white – every damned thing there was white – grabbed me by the arms and yanked me out of the room; at the same time two other women were comforting Yoona and trying to calm her down so she could explain.

I was dragged into a room that I’d never seen – or noticed – before, and shoved into a chair that was pulled up to a small wooden table. “Such appalling behaviour is not acceptable here.” One of the women snapped, without letting go of my left arm – which was beginning to hurt terribly.

“I’m sorry.” I uttered, looking at my feet. I knew better than to make Yoona look like a liar – even though that’s just what she was. She was clearly a favourite there.

Crash. Glass littered the marble floor of the room. All three of us looked up simultaneously. Lay. He’d come to rescue me. I wrestled out of their grip and ran to the window, not bothering to avoid the shards of broken glass on the floor. I wrapped my arms around Lay's waist and he started climbing down the drainpipe. Honestly, I was surprised we made it. I was actually glad of his presence, which was incredibly rare.

Without a word, he led me to the woods that I’d followed him into the first time we’d met (‘Xiumin said we were far away…’).It was snowing again. My eyes scanned the scene and found colour in the white blanket of snow: it was Kai and Sehun. They could have visited me, but they didn’t. They chose not to see me. I suddenly didn’t care whether they froze to death in the snow. I hated them.

Lay spoke for the first time that night. “Come and see what I’ve done for you.” He took my hand and we walked closer to the two of them. When we got up close I could see clearly what Lay had done for me. Their faces were pale; their eyes were closed; their clothes and skin were bloodied. They were still, lying on their backs in the snow. I stared at Lay with wide eyes, not fully understanding. “You wanted it. They chose not to visit you. They upset you, made you feel lonely and abandoned. What other options did I have?”

I knew I was supposed to be upset – I wanted to cry over the deaths of my supposed ‘best friends’ – but I wasn’t. I did the thing I least expected me to do: I wrapped my arms around Lay’s waist and hugged him. “Thank you,” I whispered.

He smiled. “Even if the world ends, I’ll stay with you.”