a/n: I just want to warn you that this chapter only invovles Seong Mi and Jinhyuk. It should be the only chapter that does this, so don't be angry, KangTeuk will be throughout the rest. 

 

 

 

 

Jinhyuk’s body felt weak as he grabbed for the wall behind him. Although he had heard the words clearly from Juwon’s mouth, he couldn’t believe them.

 

“She’s what…?” he asked breathlessly.

 

“Jin-ah,” said Juwon reaching out to balance him against the wall. “Just breathe alright, it no big deal, she’s—

 

“No big deal!” Jinhyuk frowned as he pushed Juwon off of him.

 

“She’s already eight months pregnant and I heard she’s giving it up for adoption anyway so you have nothing to worry about—

 

Jinhyuk shoved past Juwon and started walking in the direction of the campus when he felt his shoulder being pulled.

 

“Where are you going?!” asked Juwon as he made Jinhyuk face him.

 

“I have to talk to her,” said Jinhyuk through gritted teeth.

 

“Why? Just let it go. What do you expect from her?”

 

“I expect an explanation from her, just like I expect one from all of you! Why did no one tell me?! I was in the States not dead! Didn’t anyone think I had the right to know?!”

 

“Look at how you're acting now! Do you honestly think you would have made it through your classes if you heard about this then?! As your hyung I was trying to protect you! Think about your future! What other choice do the two of you have?!”

 

Although Jinhyuk understood the reasoning behind Juwon’s actions it didn’t lessen the hurt and confusion that he felt right now.

 

“I have to find her Hyung. She can’t do this,” muttered Jinhyuk.

 

Juwon’s shoulders slumped as he watched Jinhyuk begin walking away again, his angry body disappearing into the crowded street.

 

                                                            ~~~

 

“Yes, Leeteuk-ssi I had dinner,” said Seong Mi with a small laugh.

 

“Aigoo, Seong Mi-ah, I told you that you can stop with the ‘ssi’. Just call me Teuk from now on. Now, what did you eat?” asked Leeteuk.

 

Seong Mi laughed again. Leeteuk had called her twice already since they had dropped her off. Ordinarily this might have bothered her. But after so many months of not having anyone look after her or be concerned, she welcomed the attention.

 

“Seaweed soup just like you suggested,” said Seong Mi as she lay on her bed, walking her fingertips across her belly. “There’s a small restaurant near campus that specializes in it, and the ahjumma there was really happy to feed me bowls full. I’m stuffed.”

 

Just then there was a hard and loud bang on her door.

 

“What was that?” asked Leeteuk as Seong Mi jumped, her head jerking in the direction of the door.

 

“I-I don’t know,” she said softly.

 

“Seong Mi-ah, let me in please,” she heard Jinhyuk’s voice outside her door.

 

“Jinhyuk,” she said softly, forgetting she was on the phone with Leeteuk.

 

“Seong Mi-ah is Jinhyuk there? Are you alright? What’s happening?” asked Leeteuk growing more concerned.

 

“I’ll…I’ll have to call you back Teuk, she said softly and she hang up the call despite Leeteuk’s protests.

 

Seong Mi stood and waddled slowly over to her door. Placing her hand on the handle she waited a few moments, unsure if he was still there.

 

“Seong Mi-ah!” she heard him whine, his voice laced with stress and sadness. ‘Please…just let me in!”

 

Seong Mi bit her bottom lip as she slowly turned the handle and opened the door.

 

Although she knew it was him, it still surprised her to see him standing there before her.

 

Her heart seemed to beat a bit faster as she realized she wasn’t upset to see him. In fact, she was actually happy. But that all seemed to change when she saw that his eyes weren’t full of joy. They weren’t even looking into her eyes. They were focused on her belly.

 

“It’s true,” he mumbled.

 

Seong Mi looked down at herself and then at the floor, unable to look him in the eyes any longer.

 

A group of students walked past her door, whispering about what was happening right now, making Jinhyuk a little self-conscious.

 

“Can I come inside?” he asked softly.

 

Seong Mi nodded and backed up so that Jinhyuk walk past her.

 

Once the door closed, she walked back over to her bed and sat down, still not looking at him.

 

Jinhyuk watched her for a few moments before sitting down on the far end of the bed, also looking down at the floor.

 

It was quiet for minutes. Neither of them knew how to start the conversation they both knew needed to happen.

 

It was Jinhyuk who spoke first.

 

“How…how could you not tell me?” he said shaking his head.

 

Seong Mi’s bottom lip trembled as she fidgeted.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said weakly.

 

“Sorry? Why are you sorry now? All of this time…I should have known Seong Mi. …I could’ve come back and—

 

“But that’s just it Oppa, I didn’t want you to,” said Seong Mi, as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

 

Jinhyuk deflated.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you have this perfect future set for yourself. What good could come from you raising a child right now? Nothing. So I decided that I would just have the baby and then give it to someone who truly wanted it.”

 

Jinhyuk’s jaw tightened as he exhaled deeply.

 

“I am sick and tired of everyone thinking they know what’s best for me or making decisions based on what they want—none of you stopped to ask yourselves what it is that I wanted, did you?!”

 

Seong Mi was quiet.

 

“I already felt awful after you left me that morning, but I never thought you disliked me this much Seong Mi-ah,” sighed Jinhyuk.

 

Seong Mi’s head shot up. “What?”

 

“You left without saying anything to me after that night. I assumed you regretted it, so I just gave you your space. I was so happy when I finally left to study abroad because just seeing you in class killed me.”

 

Seong Mi’s eyes grew to the size of baby moons.

 

“Oppa…I thought that you would be the one to regret it, that’s why I left,” said Seong Mi softly.

 

“Why?”

 

Seong Mi shook her head. “Don’t you know who you are?”
 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

She sighed. “Every girl on campus is in love with you. So I thought why me? Why, out of everyone, would he even consider looking twice at me?”

 

“But you were the one that climbed through my window!”

 

“I didn’t know it was your window at first. And I was so drunk that…that I had too much confidence to be scared once I realized that it was you.”
 

“But why would you think I would sleep with you if I didn’t like you?”

 

“You're a guy, aren’t you?”

 

Jinhyuk looked into her eyes, slowly shaking his head, “Other guys on campus may be like that, but I’m not. Yes, I knew you were drunk and I’m not proud of myself for going through with it while you were in that state. But I didn’t know when we would have ever been alone like that again. I stayed awake for hours that night, thinking of what I would say when you woke up. But when morning came and I saw that you had already left, I was heart broken and I lost my strength to confront you, so I never did.”

 

Seong Mi felt her insides crumbling at these words. Never did she expect for Jinhyuk to feel this way. She had been prepared for angry or indifferent, not heartbroken.

 

Jinhyuk leaned forward putting his hands in his head.

 

“I just feel…like a failure,” he mumbled.

 

“Why?” asked Seong Mi, shocked.

 

“Because you had to do this all alone. With people staring and mocking you. I’m sure you were scared—I’m sure you were lonely…I’m sure your family has given you a hard time.”

 

“I haven’t told them.”
 

Jinhyuk looked back up at her, “What?”

 

“They would never recover from news like this, so I just stopped going home when I got too big. After I have the baby I can just go back to my normal life and everything will be fine,” she said with a small smile.

 

“Back to normal? Seong Mi-ah, you’re carrying our baby, you understand that right? They’re our child. How can you even consider giving them up?”

 

Seong Mi frowned, “Because I’m thinking about my future and yours. There is no possible way that we can raise a baby ourselves Oppa.”

 

Jinhyuk knew she right, but he just couldn’t seem to accept that the child he had just discovered he had was going to be taken from him the day it was born.

 

“Do you have a mother and a father already picked out?”

 

Seong Mi her lips “Yes, there’s a family that I’ve already decided on.”

 

Jinhyuk stood up, frustrated with her answer.

 

“Listen, I know that if I talked to my parents, they would understand. They’re not conservative in the way that most families are. You could come to my home, have the baby, and we could get married after I graduate. Then I would go to medical school and start my residency— he said more to himself than to her.

 

“Oppa stop!” pleaded Seong Mi.

 

He turned to look at her, “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to at least try to be a family? I saw young couples in the West with kids and they made it work. It’s not impossible.”

 

“But that’s just it Oppa, we’re not a Western couple. We’re Korean and just because your family would accept us, doesn’t mean that mine would. I told you that I’ve had to hide my condition from them all of this time. Not to mention what about my future? I want to finish school and become a pharmacist. I want my own life and career, not to just live in my husband’s home.”

 

Jinhyuk stood up and walked over to her dresser, putting his hands down as he exhaled deeply.

 

“Oppa, you just have to accept that this is the best option…I know I’m doing the right thing. After I give birth, you won’t have to worry about me anymore. We can just move on with our lives.”

 

Jinhyuk turned and looked at her. It was obvious he wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how to voice it.

 

“What is it Oppa?” she asked softly.

 

“I don’t want to go back to things being the way they were before. With me just seeing you in class, and you never giving me a second look.

 

Seong Mi had to shake her head in confusion.

 

“Oppa what are you talking about? Me? You were the one hoping to be noticed by me?”

 

“Why are you being like this? You keep talking about me as if I’m supposed to be this cold heartless person or just some nerd that always has his face in a book. Yes, Seong Mi-ah, I like you. But if you truly feel nothing for me, just say it and I’ll leave you alone.”

 

“N-no, I do,” she said finally looking in the eyes. “You have no idea.”

 

A small smile appeared on Jinhyuk face for the first time that night.

 

“So, no matter the outcome of this, we’ll stand together, alright? You won’t have to do any of this alone anymore,” said Jinhyuk as he walked over to her.

 

Seong Mi returned his smile with a soft nod.

 

“You should really rest now Seong Mi-ah. I know you must be tired,” he said reaching over and tucking her hair behind her ears.

 

“Could you stay with me for a while?” she asked softly.

 

“Of course,” said Jinhyuk and he stood, so that he could help her lay back on her bed. “Are you comfortable? Can I get you something?”

 

Seong Mi shook her head with a smile. She had never imagined that Jinhyuk would become so nurturing towards her.

 

Once he was satisfied she was relaxed, Jinhyuk lay beside Seong Mi gently. As he nestled close behind her, he put his hand on her stomach, slowly moving it, taking in the roundness.

 

“How far along are you?” he asked.

 

“Eight and a half months,” she said softly.

 

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

 

“A boy.”

 

Jinhyuk smiled.

 

“Does he kick a lot?” he asked softly.

 

Seong Mi nodded, unable to speak for fear that he might hear her crying.

 

“Does it ever hurt?”

 

“Sometimes,” she whispered.

 

“Are you hurting now?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“I know you're against keeping him,” sighed Jinhyuk as he continued to her stomach. “But until you do give him away, can we just pretend, for even a day, that he is ours, and that we’re a family?”

 

Reaching down, Seong Mi found his hand with hers and grasped it tightly, holding it close to her chest as the tears started to come down.