It was a relatively normal morning for the boys. Jongdae and Minseok were engrossed in another one of their childish debates, the matter on hand this time being whether pandas or polar bears were cuter. Luhan was helping Sehun eat, and the latter seemed to have gotten used to it over the past couple of days as he was no longer shooting lasers out of his eyes. He simply opened his mouth and closed it repeatedly, expression blank as usual. Luhan was trying to juggle two meals at once, alternating between giving Sehun a bite and taking one for himself. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were sitting beside each other, each strangely giddy and excited.

It seemed like the only one who was having a miserable time was Jongin, who had come back to life only a couple of days ago. After days of missing and shutting himself away from the world, he had finally been dragged out by his wonderful best friend Baekhyun, and was now being forced to sit through a whole hour of lunch with couples (and non-couples that surely acted like couples) around him.

“So Sehun?” Chanyeol asked, earning an irritated frown from the boy. Sehun was never exceedingly pleasant in the morning - hell, the boy was never very pleasant. But he was always extra grumpy during breakfast. The only one who dared to talk to him was Luhan, but being a relative newbie to the group, Chanyeol didn’t yet know the rules.

“What.”

Chanyeol quirked an eyebrow but didn’t seem to mind too much about Sehun’s rude tone. Baekhyun, however, made it very obvious that he did not appreciate the way Sehun addressed his crush. He shot Sehun an icy glare, which was simply ignored by the crabby boy.

“When do you get to start using that wrist of yours again?”

Luhan slowly put down his spoon and looked at Sehun in worry. Sehun sighed and picked up his wrist, gently squeezing the injured area.

“It still hurts a bit,” he muttered, “but the nurse said it will get better in a day or two. I only need to go through this ,” he pointed at Luhan and his spoon, “for a while longer.”

Luhan narrowed his eyes and brought up his spoon, hitting the top of Sehun’s head with it.

“Ow!”

“You should be grateful I’m not just letting you starve,” Luhan tutted. Sehun groaned and rolled his eyes, slumping further in his seat.

Chanyeol laughed good-naturedly at their interaction as Baekhyun stared at him with a lovesick expression. Jongdae and Minseok still were not able to come to a conclusion. Jongin gave everyone a nasty glare, but no one was paying much attention to him.

He saw a flicker of black pass by him and he looked up to see Kyungsoo walk by, his nose deep into a thick novel. Chanyeol visibly froze as he saw his best friend, while Baekhyun’s smile was immediately wiped away and he placed a firm hand on Jongin’s arm.

“Hey, it’s going to alright,” Baekhyun whispered. The whole table quickly turned silent. Kyungsoo seemed to notice as he slowly looked up and faced the table. Both Chanyeol and Jongin quickly looked away, while Baekhyun met his eyes and stared back with equal determination.

The first one to break the silence was Sehun, who slowly stood up from his seat. Luhan looked at him in panic and quickly grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

“What are you doing?” Luhan said urgently as the whole table turned to stare at him. Sehun merely rolled his eyes and nodded in Kyungsoo’s direction.

“He’s sitting all alone,” he said, giving Chanyeol a brief glance before looking away, “if none of you guys are going to do anything about it, I am.”

“You’re not even friends with him!” Baekhyun hissed, “he’s the reason Jongin’s so miserable these days. How dare you take his side?”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side,” Sehun retorted, “I just think it’s sad.”

“So you’re ditching us for him? Since when did you care about someone else so much, Sehun?”

Luhan narrowed his eyes. “Hey, cut it out Baekhyun. Don’t attack Sehun for this. He’s just trying to be nice.”

Baekhyun slammed his fist on the table, earning a couple of surprised looks from other students. “Do Kyungsoo bullied my best friend. I’m not just going to sit here and watch Sehun treat him like he’s some kind of victim.”

Sehun scoffed. “How can you so blindly blame everything on Kyungsoo? Frankly, he doesn’t strike me as a bully. Have you ever even tried to listen to his side of the story?”

“He won’t even tell Chanyeol anything!” Baekhyun yelled and pointed at Chanyeol, who sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration, “how am I supposed to know why he’s so ed up!”

“That’s enough.”

Baekhyun snapped around to look at Jongin, who was staring at the untouched plate in front of him with a pained expression. Everyone looked at him with eyes evident of worry and pity.

Jongin looked up and glanced at Baekhyun. “That’s enough, Baekhyun. You’ve done enough.” He turned his head to Sehun and nodded. “Go to Kyungsoo. Make sure he’s alright. I’ve got tons of people who have my back; he has no one.”

Sehun remained seated in his chair, but when Jongin gave him a small, tired smile he slowly stood up and walked away. Baekhyun eyed him warily when he heard Chanyeol sigh from beside him.

“You okay?” he said. Chanyeol shook his head. “I’m supposed to be his best friend. What am I even doing here.”

Sehun knew Kyungsoo was staring at his every move. He gave him a polite nod before slipping in the seat across from him. Kyungsoo remained frozen before he finally broke out of his daze and slowly closed his book.

“Hey Kyungsoo,” Sehun said. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and he looked back to the table to see Baekhyun give him a disapproving glare and Chanyeol try his best to look away.

“Are you sure you’re supposed to be here?” Kyungsoo asked. Sehun shrugged and leaned forward, clasping his hands together.

“I do whatever I want,” Sehun said, “and I feel like sitting with you, so here I am.”

“But wouldn’t your friends be pissed with you?”

“Then that’s their problem for being stupid. They don’t own me.”

“But-”

“Kyungsoo,” Sehun interrupted, “if you’re so worried about my friends getting mad at me, then just hurry up and make up with Chanyeol. I’m getting sick of his presence already and you honestly need him much more than we do at the moment.”

Kyungsoo smiled sadly. “It’s not so easy, Sehun. Chanyeol’s angry with me and he has every reason to be mad.”

“You guys are friends, aren’t you?” Sehun inquired. “I don’t know a lot of things about friends since I never had many, but from what I gathered you guys genuinely care about each other. Don’t let this Jongin incident come between you guys.”

“This Jongin incident is much more serious than you think,” Kyungsoo sighed. “Not that it matters anymore. I ended things for good.”

Sehun blinked in surprise. “You ended things? What do you mean?”

“It means we’re done. We’re no longer going to bother ourselves with each other. It’s finally over.”

Kyungsoo bit his lips and dropped his eyes. Sehun’s eyes remained fixed on the boy in front of him.

“You don’t sound so happy for someone who got everything he ever wished for,” he pointed out. Kyungsoo let out an airy laugh. He ducked his head and although Sehun couldn’t see, he knew Kyungsoo was trying hard to keep in his tears.

“I-I really don’t, do I?” Kyungsoo’s voice shook. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I thought this was going to make everything better. I thought I’d finally feel free. Oh my god Sehun, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Sehun’s eyes widened in surprise as he saw teardrops fall on the table. He knew that they were catching the attention of the nearby students, but being the socially impaired boy he was he didn’t know what to do. He immediately scrambled to the seat beside Kyungsoo and put his arms around his shaking body.

“Kyungsoo, calm down,” he urged, but this only made Kyungsoo worse. Although he was covering his mouth, his sobs were getting louder and louder. Sehun looked up to see his table sending him alarmed looks, Jongin in particular looking like he was getting stabbed repeatedly. Even Baekhyun, who was previously sending Kyungsoo vicious glares, looked lost.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Sehun gently wrapped his arm around Kyungsoo’s waist and pulled him up. He ignored the many looks he received and quickly and efficiently pulled Kyungsoo out of the cafeteria. He could feel Jongin’s burning eyes on him but the only thought he could process was the fact that he had to get both of them away. Kyungsoo began to sob hysterically the moment they were out, and Sehun, who didn’t know where would be an ideal hideout, went to the one place he knew would be empty at the time: the garden.

They stumbled into the empty garden and went behind a large bush, the first place Sehun had run off to on his first day. He helped Kyungsoo sit down and crouched down in front of him, waiting for Kyungsoo to calm down.

After a long while of crying, Kyungsoo began to breathe normally and slowly stopped shaking. Sehun smiled nervously at him as Kyungsoo hiccuped and dropped his gaze, partially in embarrassment and partially in awkwardness.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on, or do I have to force it out of you this time?”

Kyungsoo bit his lips. “I didn’t know you cared so much. I thought you were only interested in things concerning yourself.”

Sehun sighed and pulled himself up, taking the seat beside Kyungsoo. “I think attending this school is changing me. I don’t know if it’s for the better or worse, but there’s something about you, Kyungsoo. We’re actually really similar to each other. What we place our value in, how we deal with problems, the misunderstandings about us - I understand you better than I ever understood anyone before. That’s why I just want you to tell me what’s going on.”

Kyungsoo gave him a wary look. “Didn’t Jongin tell you everything?”

“Jongin doesn’t tell anyone anything about you, Kyungsoo. You’re too sacred to him. Now, someone is going to have to find out what’s going on between you guys and I’m going to be that guy.”

Kyungsoo lifted his head and stared at the blue sky, his eyes still red and dilated.

“I thought I was fixing things for good,” Kyungsoo started, his voice distant, “I was going to get a fresh new start. A life without Kim Jongin. So I no longer have to agonize over every little thing he does. I should’ve known that was never going to happen. Kim Jongin was the only thing on my mind for past nine years, Sehun. He’s not going to go away. He was in me through both hate and love. I-I thought, if I told him I loved him, if I told him the truth, it was going to make everything okay. He didn’t say a word to me the past couple of days. He didn’t try to court me, he didn’t embarrass me, he didn’t even mock me for any of my past stupid mistakes. But you know what?” Kyungsoo lowered his gaze and smiled painfully, “that hurts even more.”

Sehun looked at him with a frown. “You love Jongin?”

Kyungsoo let out a shaky breath. “Since third grade. Amazing, isn’t it? How much the story changes when it’s actually me who’s been chasing Jongin for nine years. Jongin’s the one who’s been running away. He’s the who’s been pushing me away. He’s the one who made it hard for me to take a step in his direction. But no one is ever going to understand.”

“Kyungsoo, no one ever knew. Even Jongin himself had no clue. I don’t know what exactly happened all those years ago, but you know what it all comes down to? A misunderstanding. Can’t you see how utterly in love you guys are with each other? Jongin will throw his life away in a heartbeat for you, and no matter how much you claim to hate Jongin you always end up right beside him. You guys will never be able to get away from each other. It’s meant to be. Why don’t you give him a chance to make everything better? It’s not too late.”

“No Sehun, you’re wrong. We are too late. It doesn’t matter how much I love him. I can’t trust him. What’s a relationship with no trust? I’m going to be doubting all of his actions and will be living in fear. I don’t want to do that anymore. Isn’t nine years enough? I was terrified of Jongin, Sehun. I’m still scared.”

“So what? You’re going to continue to hurt yourself like this? You can’t continue to live like this. It’s going to kill both of you guys.”

“I’m already half dead!” Kyungsoo exclaimed, “Jongin killed half of me all those years ago. All I have left in me are hatred, anger, and fear. I’ve been trying to protect the other half from him, but look where that’s got me! I’m so damned confused and scared all the time. One moment I want to crawl to him and cling onto him, hand him my damaged heart and just watch him play with it, and other times I want to get as far away from him as I possibly can. We’re too ed up already.”

“Kyungsoo-”

“I appreciate you listening to me Sehun, but there’s honestly nothing that can be done here. There’s nothing more I want than to just make everything normal again. The problem is I don’t know what normal is anymore. All I know is Kim Jongin.”

Sehun stared as Kyungsoo’s eyes usually clouded with hatred and anger suddenly broke apart and the only thing left was fear. Suddenly, Sehun felt completely powerless. There really was nothing he could do to help Kyungsoo. He slowly stood up and looked down at Kyungsoo.

“Just remember that the only thing Jongin knows is Do Kyungsoo. That’s why this has to work.”

He gave Kyungsoo one last smile before walking away. He pushed open the glass door and walked down the hallway when he saw Jongin run towards him from far away. He immediately stopped and stared as Jongin skid into a stop in front of him, his face full of worry.

“Where’s Kyungsoo?” He asked, eyes glancing around the empty hallway, “is he alright? Why was he crying? He’s not hurt, is he?”

“Kyungsoo’s fine, Jongin,” he said with a sigh. He took a quick look at the garden and side stepped, blocking Jongin from the view. He knew the last thing the two needed right now was each other.

“What did you two talk about?” Jongin demanded. “You didn’t do anything to him, did you?”

Sehun scoffed. “Of course I didn’t. What kind of human being do you take me for? I simply listened to him.”

Jongin froze in his steps.

“What did he have to say?”

Sehun’s eyes hardened and he stepped forward, shortening the distance between them.

“Kyungsoo loves you as much as you love him,” he said quietly, “but he’s hurt. He’s hurt beyond repair. There’s only one thing you can do at this point. Make him trust you once again. Show him clearly how much you care for him. That’s the only way. Take him out of his fear.”

He briefly glanced at Jongin’s pained eyes before stepping around him and walking past him. He paused for a second and looked behind.

“Don’t this chance up like you did with your last one, alright? This is the last one you’re going to get.”

Sehun turned around and with a small smile, started to walk back to his dorm room.