Yongguk had taken me back to the house we all shared. He wanted to reveal more of what he did there, and I was more than willing to follow and listen. The car ride was silent, only the radio and the occasional honk of another car. My nerves were still racing, causing me to fidget in my seat and play with my fingers. I had witnessed a man being killed, a coworker who I had spent a lot of time with. I had seen Woo Jiho put a gun to his temple and pull the trigger. It kept replaying in my mind, over and over again. When I thought it stopped, it would begin again.

   "Mone," a soft voice said. I turned to see Yongguk looking at me with curious eyes. "Are you... You should rest."

   "No," I said, shaking my head. "No. I've rested enough. I want to know everything, oppa. I deserve to know everything."

   He sighed, but nodded. "You're right," he said, turning to look to the front. "You're right, Mone. You do deserve to know everything, but isn't what I told you at the restaurant enough for now?"

   "No!" I sternly said. "Oppa, I have asked so many times, and I have dropped the conversation because I knew you wouldn't tell me. But, I just witnessed someone being killed. Woo Jiho killed Dr. Lee, oppa, I deserve to know who you are, what you do, and why. Is Bang Yongguk even your real name?" The question that escaped my mouth took me by surprise, causing me to tense up and straighten myself in my seat. I opened my mouth to apologize—no! I didn't need to apologize. I had no reason to apologize. I deserved to ask questions, to question every little thing about him and the boys I have grown to care so much about.

   "My real name is Bang Yongguk," he said, softly, as if he were trying to reassure me. "I didn't lie about that."

   "Then, what else did you lie about?" I demanded. 

   He stayed quiet for several seconds, then let out a sigh. "Can you wait until we get home?" he asked, his tone tired. "Please, just wait until we get home. I will answer every question you have."

   We arrived at the house minutes later, when night had fallen and everything still felt strange. The whole day, it felt as if I were not really there. I felt numb, strange, so out of tune that if I hit something, I wouldn't really feel it. Everything that had happened continued to go through my mind, like a broken scene from a DVD. It would play, then replay, and replay, and replay, over and over again. I could still hear the sound of the gun, see Dr. Lee falling on the floor with the blood falling with blood on his forehead and on the wall. 

   "Mone," Yongguk said. I shook my head and turned to him, brows furrowed. He was looking at me strangely. "We're here."

   I got out of the car without waiting, my head running with all kinds of thoughts. Who was Yongguk? Did he lie when he said his name was really Yongguk? Who are these people? How could I have gotten so close to them when they were so dangerous? I had to stop and compose my breath, compose my thoughts and tell myself that all would be answered once inside. 

   "Noona!" Junhong and Jungup yelled as they came running down the stairs. Before their arms wrapped around me, I took a step back. It surprised even me when it happened, and the look in their eyes surprised me and caused me to feel horrible. But, I couldn't trust them. At least, not now.

   "What's wrong?" Junhong asked, frowning. "Did I do something wrong?"

   "Get everyone to the living room," Yongguk said, also frowning. "We all need to talk."

   "Is something wrong?" Jungup asked, following Yongguk. "Did we do something wrong?"

   Yongguk shook his head. "You two did nothing wrong," he said, giving them a small smile. "It's... Uh... Get Himchan, Youngjae, and Daehyun, please." With his hand on my lower back, he pushed me towards the living room. I was too weak to push away from him, too confused, too warm. It was a feeling I had been used to for quite a while, his warmth. I didn't know how I would deal without it since I had depended on it for far too long.

   Everyone sat in the living room, all confused except for Yongguk. He glanced around with a frown, hands held together in front of him. He took a deep breath. "Mone found out about us," he began, "about what we do."

   "Noona..."  Junhong frowned and reached over to me. I laid my hand still, shutting my eyes. He laid his hand over mine, just gently, just for a few seconds.

   "We didn't do anything wrong," Yongguk continued. "Except keeping the truth from her, that was the only wrong we did. But, it wasn't us. Woo Jiho..." He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Woo Jiho is looking for her."

   "Woo Jiho?!" Himchan hissed, his tone angry. "What do you mean Woo Jiho is looking for her?"

   "He killed Dr. Lee," I said, swallowing hard. It felt strange saying those words, as if I shouldn't even say them. "He was threatening Dr. Lee because he wanted to know where I was. After Dr. Lee told him, he killed him." Once again, the image replayed in my mind. The sound. The horror. The smile on Jiho's face.

   "Why was he looking for noona?" Jongup asked.

   "Because she's with us," Youngjae said, realization in his tone. "He wants her because she's with us."

   "It's just like Yoonhee," Daehyun mumbled. 

   "No," Yongguk said, sternly and loud. "This will not be like Yoonhee; this will be nothing like Yoonhee."

   Junhong nodded. "That's right," he said. "We're going to protect her."

   "No," I said. I glanced around at each person and frowned. "I don't need protection. I just need to know who are you all. Are your names really your names or just names you told me?"

   "We are who we told you we are," Yongguk said, frowning still. "I'm Yongguk." He pointed at himself. "Kim Himchan. Jung Daehyun. Yoo Youngjae. Moon Jongup. Choi Junhong." He pointed at each person with his chin. "We are who we said we are."

   I slowly nodded, glancing at each person. They were all staring back at me, and it felt uncomfortable because I couldn't tell what they were feeling. I wondered if they began to hate me at this precise moment. Maybe, they just felt sorry for me.

   "I began to tell her who we are," Yongguk said, glancing at the boys as he nodded slowly. "She knows I am your...leader. She knows what we do, but not the specifics."

   "Noona, hyung did nothing wrong," Junhong said immediately after Yongguk finished speaking. "He's not a bad person, really. He... He saved me, noona. When I was fourteen, I ran away from home. My parents were rarely around, and my siblings were older than me, so I ran away. Yongguk hyung found me on the streets a few months later, and offered me a place to stay and food and warmth. He didn't say that I had to work for him, but I wanted to, because I wanted to repay him for his kindness."

   "Me, too," Jongup said, almost too quietly. "My parents died when I was young, and the rest of my family didn't want me, so I was left alone. Hyung found me, then. He gave me a home, a family."

   Daehyun rubbed his shoulders, giving the boy a smile. After a few seconds, he turned to me and smiled. "We don't do bad things, Mone. We're like... We're like doctors?"

   "Like doctors?" I asked, my voice filled with doubtfulness and shock.

   He nodded. "Like doctors," he said. "We help people, like doctors. We have a lot of complications, maybe more than doctors. But, we also help people. Don't think of us as bad people, but as doctors."

   "You've killed people," I said, shaking my head. My breath begin to get harsh, as if those words were something I had been keeping in the back of my throat. I had never imagined myself saying those three words to people that became my family over the past year. These people had been there for me ever since I got to Seoul, especially Yongguk. I glanced at him, and he glanced at me, and my heart began to quicken. At that moment, I didn't know if my heart acted so strange because of my feelings for him or because I was so terrified. They had killed people, just like Woo Jiho had done to Dr. Lee. I should have stood up and left, but I couldn't bring myself to move.

   "In this line of job, it's kill or be killed," Himchan said with a frown. "We don't tend to it because it's fun, but because it is necessary to survive."

   "Mone, we're not bad," Yongguk said, softly. "I promise you that we don't hurt people because we want to, but because it's necessary. It used to be worse back then, but we've gotten better with it."

   "What do you exactly do?" I asked, glancing around the room. 

   "One of the things we do is protection racketeering," Himchan said as he moved with his hands. "It's not the best, but it was what we began with and we cannot really break from it. We give groups protection, but it's because the police or judiciary cannot be counted on to provide legal protection. We don't harass small business, but stockholders meeting large corporations."

   "Unlike other groups, we forbid our members from engaging in drug trafficking," Yongguk quickly said. "Or, human trafficking. We forbid that, which is why we're widely known throughout most of Asia. We buy the girls, and set them free after we give them the proper needs to survive without doing what they were doing in the past. Due to this, we have strong connections with the Yamaguchi-gumi in Japan."

   "We're not bad people," Junhong said, giving me a small smile. "We help as much as we can, noona. I promise."

   "Mone, we're not like those groups you hear about in movies or see portrayed in dramas," Yongguk said. "There's a big difference between us. One of them being that those are stereotypical groups, mostly gotten from American television. This, Mone, this is real life."

   I slowly nodded and glanced down at my hands. I didn't know how to feel, how to act, or even what to say. It was all too much, and I felt tired and annoyed and angry and sad. Part of me wanted to storm out of the house, but I had nowhere to go. Youngbae and Uncle were not an option, since I knew little of them ever since I left their home. My parents were a big no, and even my sister was in that big no list. Another part of me, though, wanted to stay with them. No, the big part of me wanted to stay. I was tired of being frail and scared over every little thing.

   "This is real life," I said, nodding. "So, what can I do to continue being part of it?"

   Everyone began to smile, speaking loudly about how great it was. But, suddenly, Yongguk stood and stared down at me. "You can't," he said.. "No, Mone." He walked out, leaving us stunned.

   I stood and followed him outside of the house. "What do you mean no?" I asked, stopping a few feet away from me. "Oppa, I'm staying."

   "You can't," Yongguk said, not looking back at me. He leaned against the railing and stared out at the far city lights. "Mone, if you stay with us, that means you can be killed. If you stay with us, that means I will be vulnerable to whatever Jiho wants."

   "And what makes you think Woo Jiho will do nothing if I leave?" I asked my voice growing stronger. I took a step towards him. "Oppa, if I leave, that will make it easier for him to find me. It will make easier for him to hurt you. But, if I stay, you can teach me to protect myself in case anything happens."

   "What if you end up dying?" he asked, his voice breaking. I stood there, stunned. Was he so worried about me? Did he care this much about me? It made my heart swell just knowing that, it made my head reel in all kinds of thoughts.

   I took another step towards him and laid a hand on his cheek, making him look at me. "Be positive," I said, giving him a small smile. "You can't be thinking so negative all the time, Yongguk. Just because something bad happened once doesn't mean it will happen again. Let yourself feel again, oppa."

  He looked up from the ground, his eyes finally meeting mine. It was sudden, but his hands laid on my cheeks and he pulled me towards him. His lips pressed against mine, slowly and gentle and as if he were going to break me if he kissed any rougher. His kiss felt like I was tasting the best thing ever, as if nothing could ever go wrong. I savored his kiss, closed my eyes and enjoyed every bit of it and wished it wouldn't end.

   Yongguk pulled away, but kept his forehead pressed against mine. "If I let myself feel again," he breathed, "I might lose you."