Review for ‘Tao and His Eleven’ by flamzfox

Review by ScreamingMidget

Title (10/10) :

OMF. I love it. I’m not sure if I’ve ever given a perfect score for this category but either way, this is definitely the best title for a story I’ve ever had to review. It reminds me of ‘Ocean’s Eleven’. It has this mysterious vibe that shifts all the control over to Tao. LOVE IT. It’s definitely unique. I did a quick web search and the title’s all yours!

Description & Foreword (9/10) : I absolutely love both! Since the first part of the description is what viewers can see, I’d say that you did a great job with an intro like ‘Exo is in chaos.’ The best part is that you made the title relevant by connecting the last sentence (“The eleven are waging war”) back to it.

Maybe you can center the first sentence and the last - maybe even make them bigger or give them a fancier font - so those words can have a bigger impact,  like an ‘oomph!’ . I took off a point because all the words kind of run into each other. If you could format it a little better, I think it would be more attractive. Like I said, give one or two of the sentences a bigger/different font or color or something to make it look less plain. I know this should probably go in the appearance category but since it’s solely the description that I’m concerned about, I thought I’d mention it now.

Content & Plot (14/20) : Okay, I actually really love the whole everyone-wants-tao bit. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been able to read as much as I would like to *storyofmylife* but I don’t think I have seen this exact plot anywhere else. There may be stories where a lot of the characters find one person irresistible...but this is all of EXO x]! Whole new level.

I took some points off because the plot itself is  a little plain. If you could add some twists here and there, that might shake things up a little. However, I love how you found a medium between plain and descriptive writing. I love your writing style but...I’ll talk more about that in flow.

I’m not sure if you were trying to make it realistic but I don’t think the plot of having all eleven guys like Tao actually is. I mean, okay, if it’s just for some action, it’s okay. I took off two points just for that.

Characters (7/10) : I love how you work with each character one at a time

Grammar & Spelling (10/10) : There were no noticeable mistakes - good job! Your grammar/spelling and control of the English language is up to par!

Chapter 2: How does one actually the feat of being cute and y at one?

You need a verb between ‘one’ and ‘actually’. You’re definitely a better writer than I am so I won’t spoil your imagination with suggestions.

Organization/Flow (10/10) : I love the flow of this story. Your way of bringing about background information is impressive. When you talk about a member who has the hots for Tao, you smoothly also introduce the reasons why.

Appearance (6/10) : If I only had to look at the poster, I would have given you a 10/10. However, I have to take the background, font, etc. into consideration as well. As for not having a background, honestly I would request one from a shop soon. Maybe you can get in touch with the person who made your poster and that person can make one that matches the poster. In the meantime, just get a temporary background by googling for a plain image and using that. It will improve the appearance immediately. It’s a little difficult to read when it is all just black and white, that’s all! Also, maybe you can play around with different fonts - nothing that will make it difficult to read, though - so the writing can look more appealing! At the top, you could write the title and chapter name or something so the start doesn’t look so plain.

Enjoyment (20/20) : I really loved it - it was exciting to read and there was so much buildup action. Like damn, IT IS HAWUT. Anyway, thank you for letting me read it. I truly enjoyed it very much. You have my vote and sub because your story deserves it <3!

Total : 86/100 Fantastic job!