CHAPTER 20 : First

MINA’S POV

I had my eyes closed but every part of me felt each of his movement. He moved closer and closer until my heart palpitated dangerously. I didn’t know what was happening, but I was ready. I was ready to be kissed by him. And I didn’t know why exactly.

Ring ring. My eyes bolted open and Luhan was still on top of me, as shocked as I was. He was blushing in an angry color of red, but I was sure I was flushed worse. He cleared his throat and stood up like lightning. I regained my composure and picked up the phone.

“Mina? We still can’t find Luhan.” It was Lay.

I managed to reply, “He’s with me now, sorry I didn’t get to call right away.”

“It’s alright. Can you tell him to come home now?”

I glanced at Luhan, “Okay, I’ll tell him.”

It was difficult to look straight into Luhan’s eyes. Especially after what happened. For all I know, he didn’t even intend to kiss me and I actually closed my eyes! I almost died in embarrassment. Somehow, I was able to speak, “Lay said you should come home now.”

He nodded, and was I thankful that he didn’t make any jerk-like remark about my assumption, “I’ll bring you home first,” he said.

When I got back to my apartment, an image of what had happened haunted me. For some reason, I felt a wave of relief and disappointment crash in me. Did I want him to kiss me? Did I want him that way? I dismissed the thought immediately. It was stupid - a famous singer kissing his assistant, it was never going to happen. As usual, I was overanalyzing.

As I was about to go to bed, my mom called,

“Mina. How are you?” Her voice was sweet and comforting - exactly what I needed.

“I’m doing great mom, I miss you.”

I could hear her smile from over the phone, “I miss you too… I wanted to tell you that your brother is visiting you there tomorrow.”

I immediately brightened up, “He is? What time?”

“Around night time, he can stay with you there right?”

“Of course mom.” I missed my brother so much, I wouldn’t mind if he started living with me.

“Okay then. You take care of yourself, kay?”

“You too mom… I love you.”

“I love you too.”

LUHAN’S POV

It suddenly became clear why Lay wanted me to come home right away. On the patio of the dormitory, my father stood. He looked so weak and so depressed, I couldn’t deny that it made me feel guilty. But tonight was just not the night, I didn’t want to talk to him, I didn’t want to make up with him. Without a single word, I went inside and passed him by. I saw he wanted to say something but I brushed him off quickly and locked the door behind me.

As soon as I got in, I caught sight of Lay who was sitting by the sofa. He was obviously waiting for me, wanting to talk some sense into me, but I was never one to open up. I ignored him completely and went straight to bed.

As I pulled the covers on me, I thought back to what happened on the soccer field. Mina’s dad died… I never knew that. I realized that I didn’t even say I was sorry for her loss. Luhan, my dad died two years ago…I would give anything - anything to have him back. If anyone would know what it feels like to lose a loved one, it would be me… I could still picture how pained and sad she looked. I wanted to comfort her at that moment, but I couldn’t be such a hypocrite - I wasn’t one to talk. I thought about calling her, but decided against it since I was her boss, not her friend. Slowly, I drifted to sleep carrying a heavier burden than ever.

A loud knock thudded on my door and woke me up. I disregarded it at first, but when the knocking intensified, I dragged myself to the door.

“Lay. What the hell?” I complained.

He looked uncomfortable, “Luhan, your dad’s still outside.”

I was going to close the door, but Lay blocked it with his hand, “It’s already 1 am Luhan. He’s been there for hours.”

I cursed inwardly. I hated him, more than anything, but I wasn’t made of stone. I decided to go to the patio and ask him to go away, this time, for good. But when I got there, everything just collapsed. He was slumped in the corner, breathing heavily on his clasped hands, trying his best to warm himself. He was shivering in the cold and he just - he looked lifeless. He wasn’t crying but his eyes were begging for mercy - mercy from me.

Surprisingly, Mina’s words started to echo on my ears.

…Luhan, why do you think you come here to ease your anger? Why the soccer field of all places?… Because this is the only place where the memory of you and your father lives. Playing with him when you were a kid - this is a good memory for you…

…You say you can’t forgive him now because he’s still out there, reachable at anytime… But when he’s gone, you’ll realize that none of his faults matter… So please, just let it go… Don’t suffer the same regrets I did…

And I couldn’t bear but surrender, “Come in.” I told him.

His face brightened up and I had never seen him happier. I led him to the door, then to the sofa, and the joy he was showing pained me even more. I started to wonder how long he had been waiting for me to say one kind word.

“Here, drink this.” I offered him a cup of tea that I had prepared.

He accepted it in a heartbeat, “Thank you.” Then and there, tears started welling in his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m just- so sorry.”

I looked away, I couldn’t take one second of his pain any longer, I tried to say the words, “Do you know that I come to the soccer field when I’m angry?” I smirked, “Someone told me that it was because it was a good memory of you and me. And going there relives that memory - and that calms me.”

He put his cup down, afraid of what was to follow.

I took a deep breath, “For years, I hated you. God knows how much I hated you…” I looked him straight in the eyes, “But us on the soccer field every year, that is without a question, a good memory… And I don’t want to have regrets…” I paused, “I want to make more memories with you…” my voice shook, “I don’t really know how to go about this but - I think we’ve had enough fighting… dad.”

He pressed his palms on the table, and I saw how he fought with the emotions that befell him, “Luhan…”

I moved back a bit, “But let’s take this one at a time… For now, I ask nothing from you but be with mom…”

He nodded willingly, “I will Luhan.”

“Then maybe, I can visit you one of these days… visit both of you.”

MINA’S POV

Jenna called me up the next day and told me that they were going to visit Woo Jin and that I should come with. Naturally, I agreed and went around lunchtime. I’ve been wanting to visit him since Xiumin told me he was sick, except so many things have been happening, I didn’t have the time to. When I got to his apartment though, I was the only one there. Apparently, Jenna and them set me up -  they are such Woo Jin x Mina shippers. The truth was that I didn’t want to stay around, a girl in a guy’s home alone just wasn’t right. But Woo Jin was so pale and ill, I realized I had no choice.

“Did you already drink medicine?” I asked and pulled the blanket over his quivering body.

He coughed a few times, “I did… You can go now, I’ll be fine.”

I snapped, “You don’t know that. You might not be fine.”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to-”

I swallowed in guilt, “It’s fine, just-“ I stood up,  “I’m gonna get a cold compress.”

I didn’t mean to get annoyed at him, but I hated it most when people get sick and they take it carelessly. When I had gone back to his room, I was carrying a small towel and a basin of water. He stared at me as I soaked the towel, wrung it, and placed it on his forehead.

“Get some rest,” I said, “I’ll be right here.”

He closed his eyes obediently and drifted to sleep at once. I remained by his bedside for hours, trying my best to reduce his fever.  When the sun had almost set, and his fever still hasn’t gone down, I realized that the cold compress on the forehead wasn’t enough. I took fresh water from the kitchen and a new set of towels and started pressing the pad on both of his arms.

To my surprise, he woke up suddenly and caught my hand.

“Woo Jin ah…” I was caught off guard. He sat up and faced me, and I went rigid.

I released myself from his hold, “I’m gonna make you porridge.”

I stood up and quickly left his room. It had been weeks since he told me he liked me, and I still haven’t given him a reply. But today, it came to me that I already knew the answer all along. But I couldn’t possibly tell him now - not when he needs me.

“I’m sorry.” He said as he settled on the dining table. “I didn’t mean to surprise you.”

I disregarded his comment, “Is it okay if I make ramen? It’s quicker.”

“Yeah.” He replied, and even with my back turned, I knew he was feeling disappointed.

When I placed the ramen in front of him, it was obvious that he had no appetite at all. He tried his best to eat one spoonful after another. And when he finally finished everything, I placed the bowl on the counter and got him a glass of water. I sat right across him on the table, as he glanced at me, wanting to say something.

He blurted, “Mina, I want to know what you feel…” he paused, “I don’t want to pressure you but I-”

I sighed, I didn’t want to answer him. I didn’t want to break his heart. I gazed by the window, and realized it was already night time, I said the first excuse that came to mind, “It’s late, I should go.” I took my bag and rushed out of his apartment.

When I finally got out of the building, I hurriedly looked for a cab. But before I could hail one, I felt a warm hand grab my wrist. Woo Jin had followed me.

“Woo Jin!” I panicked, “You shouldn’t be outside.” It was freezing to death, and I was too worried it might worsen his fever.

“I don’t care. I’m not going in Mina.” He panted, “I like you. I like everything about you. I just want to know if you feel the same way.”

Before I could reply, another hand clutched my arm, “She doesn’t.” Luhan said, his eyes burning in rage. “So get your hands off her.”

I stopped dead. Why the hell is Luhan here? How the hell does he know I was here? I feared for Woo Jin quickly, I remembered the time Luhan kicked him to the pool, and Woo Jin was in no shape to fight my bipolar boss, not now when he’s sick. Before I could stop the mess I was sure Luhan was about to create, he looked at me intently and forced my arm off of Woo Jin’s hold. I was dumbstruck when he kicked Woo Jin’s ankle with all his might and dragged me away.

He hauled me on the street away from the building and when I was finally able to look back at Woo Jin I saw him wincing in pain. He tried to follow us, trudging with his wounded ankle, but Luhan was walking in a demonic pace, his hand grasping my wrist tightly. I wanted to free myself from his hold but the more I resisted, the more his grip tightened. He dragged me aimlessly, from block to block, street to street until I could no longer take it.  My head was spinning from the sound of the cars blasting on my ear, the blinding lights shooting from everywhere. We had walked for miles, and he hasn’t said a word, his grasp becoming tighter by the minute, I could almost see the red mark he had caused on my wrist.

I had always been oblivious when it comes to Luhan’s thoughts but I was tired of it all. I was tired of thinking why he does what he does because I’ve come to terms with the fact that he is a bipolar jerk who does what he wants, regardless of who he hurts. And I have had enough of it.

“STOP!” I screamed my voice out. And he froze.

He turned to face me and my temper exploded, “Just stop! Stop it Luhan! I overanalyze, I expect, I assume. That’s the kind of person I am,” I released myself from him, “So if you keep acting like this, I would start thinking that you’re jealous. If you save me all the time, I would start thinking you actually care. If you hold me, I would start thinking you want to be with me. If you do all this, I would start thinking you like me!” My voice shook in exasperation, “So stop it! Stop saving me, stop giving me your jacket, stop smiling at me, stop acting like you care, stop-”

In one swift motion, he snatched me in his arms and captured my lips in a kiss so tender every part of me melted. His hands cupped my face gently giving me enough power to push him away. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. The anger, the frustration, all the walls I’ve put up around me went down and everything I’ve known before - even my name - got lost to oblivion. Even after the kiss, the mere touching of our foreheads drove me to madness.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He said, fighting for his breath.

Before I could say another word, his lips crashed into mine once more and I was lost. This time, the kiss was long and drugging, more devastating and passionate than the first. My sanity slipped away, I held on to the hems of both sides of his shirt and reciprocated his every move. He clutched me tighter and tighter until I could no longer breath. But I didn’t care. I was under a lamp post in some random street in Seoul, kissing a world famous star - but I didn’t care.

A/N : Whew! I loved writing this chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it too.

Thank you everyone for taking time to write your comments, I love reading them. :D