In this installment, you think you are just Zhou Mi's friend, but in reality, he's crazy about you and  you like him, too. You two have hung out for 4~7 years now, as "just friends." Jaedelle will leave name and everything else up to the reader (getting lazier by the day as my body condition still hasn't improved from when I wrote Shot Glasses)~~ ^^ Alternate universe again, by the way. Super Junior doesn't exist in this story, so they're all normal people.

A Pierrot's Heart

Just what are you watching?

You wonder, tilting your head this way and that. You touch your face as you feel something warm splash onto your cheeks, but it's dry. You look at the tall man's trembling shoulders, wondering who this was and why he was trembling so much when he was dressed so warmly. Heck, it wasn't even cold in the room and he was dressed rather sloppily in sweats rather than his usual dress shirt. 

Wait. Usual? You tilt your head again, not sure why you knew that this man was usually overdressed for any occassion. You reach out to tap his shoulder, but freeze as an unhuman sound erupts from his throat as he turns his face to the sky and tears run endlessly down his pale, angular face as he kneels on the ground, holding onto to "something." Anguished sobs threaten to tear his large, but frail form to pieces and carry them off with the wind as you look on with concern. You step closer to him, aching to see more of his face, then you look infront of him and see a lot of blood on the telephone pole. Wait. Telephone pole? Sky?

You whirl around, finally noticing your background; it was sometime in the mid-afternoon, and there was a fresh coating of snow on the ground. You look again at the man, and he is now dressed in his more usual attire; light wash, fitted skinny jeans, a tan, military-style wool coat with his button up's white collar folded neatly out of the top and a dark gray and ivory scarf loosely draped around his shoulders and neck. You hesitantly take another step towards the man, unsure why you felt that you should tell him, it's ok, and why you suddenly felt something twisting around in your gut and threatening to choke away your oxygen. As he raises his face again, and this time, you see thick, arched brows, a high and sharp nose, sharp, dark eyes, and auburn fringe partially concealing that anguished, handsome face. Zhou Mi.

Wait. Zhou Mi? You tilt your head again, wondering how you knew this man; it wasn't just his name you knew, but his habitual fashion habits as well. You reach out to tap his shoulder, aching to ask him, what's wrong? You reach out to him, aching to tell him, I'm ok.

But your hand just passes right through him, and you fall forward onto your knees, surprised. Raising your head, you see the "something" that the man is holding so dearly, and your heart stops. Or rather, it was already stopped.

That "something" he was holding . . . it was you.

Life was a mess. The cafe you worked part time at was closing due to a lack of business, your father and mother suddenly got laid off and into debt with bills and your college fees, so you had to drop out of school. Your best friend at work, Han Geng, decided to move back to China to look for work, and you haven't been in contact since. Then your former boss' son, Choi Siwon, suddenly asks you to marry him and tells you that he's been in love with you since you started working there, and he stole your first kiss, thinking that you felt the same about him. And on top of all that, your best friend seemed a little out of it lately, getting more forgetful, too, whenever he was with you. But you were ok with that, as long as it was Zhou Mi. No matter how ditzy he became when his eyes turned into those of a lost puppy's, you always felt better after spending an hour or day with him. No matter how forgetful he became, he always seemed to know your mood and how to cheer you up if you weren't happy. No matter how many other things he forgot, he always knew that you loved strawberries and would bring you a smoothie or bubble tea flavoured with the wonderful fruit. And when you were upset, he'd let you cry on his shoulder for a bit, then drag you--sometimes kicking and screaming--to a shopping mall and cheer you up by taking photos with you in the photobooth, taking you to see a movie, or buying small, trivial things to stick in your hair or to annoy you. Every trinket he bought was your priceless treasure, although you would never admit it to him, since you were just friends. And that was also the icing on your misery cake; "just friends."

Today, to celebrate you finding work at another cafe, Zhou Mi decided to call you to hang out with him on your day off. The two of you go to Namsan Tower and he purchases a pair of locks, handing one of them to you and starting to scribble on his. Puzzled, you ask him,

"But aren't these for couples?"

And you don't understand why, but he looks hurt even when he's smiling.

"Ah, I guess . . . but we can use them as just friends, too, can't we? This way we'll always be friends." 

And you can't see his facial expression as he excuses himself, saying that he was going to buy some drinks and snacks. You noticed that he left his lock behind, and out of curiosity, you turn it over and your eyes widen.

           "I'll always love you. Let's stand by each other for a long time, my strawberry princess. I love you~ =)"

"Ah!" You jump as a cold container of bubble tea is pressed against your cheek, and you dropped his lock. Swiftly, he swoops down and retrieves it, tucking it into his tan wool jacket's pocket.

He smiles again, looking hurt again. "Locks are stupid, let's go." He tugs at your wrist as you begin writing on yours, causing you to drop the lock and marker.

"Zhou Mi, wait--"

And just like that, he drags you away from the fence and your lock gets trampled by the other guests.

While eating lunch at a Chinese restaurant, Zhou Mi was unusually quiet and barely uttered a word to you, and his spacey, somewhat cold expression afterwards was starting to annoy you. So you asked him,

"What the hell is your problem, Zhou Mi?"

Didn't he know how much you loved him? And that lock . . . You wanted to tell him that you wanted him to the king of the strawberry kingdom, that you loved him, too.

"Nothing," he says coldly.

And that one word reply was enough to make you explode and slap him before storming away, your eyes blurring and stinging because life and love S-U-C-K.

You heard him running after you, calling your name with panic filling his normally even and soothing voice. But foolishly, you didn't even stop to scream at him. Foolishly, you didn't stop to tell him, "I love you." Foolishly, you just didn't stop until the car spun out due to the snow and slammed into you.

Just what were you watching?

You wonder, tilting your head this way and that. You touch your face as you feel something warm splash onto your cheeks, but it's dry. You look at the tall man's trembling shoulders, wondering who this was and why he was trembling so much when he was dressed so warmly. You've watched his clothes and room get messier and messier by the day, and his eyes and nose swell up to the size of beluga whales.

Today, he's holding a picture frame, and his tears splash onto the glass one after another, much like relentless rain. You touch your face as you feel something running down; you're crying. Without understanding why, you kneel infront of this man, looking at his face. Now you know.

Zhou Mi, I'm sorry, and good-bye . . .

END

20130817 - the second story without Donghae, just realized I inserted my favourite kiddo into everyone's story .______. Woot, Jaedelle has completed Zhou Mi's installment~~ 7 out 15 done! Almost halfway~~ ^^

Quick explanation of the title:

A Pierrot is clown, it's like saying misery is joke/life is ironic, even though this wasn't funny.