Strings
Broken Puppet
Lay and Luhan hide around the corner, mouths agape and eyes wide. They'd seen this coming for such a long time now, but even seeing it with their own eyes isn't enough to make them believe it.
Luhan is about to have a fit, absolutely stir-crazy over what he's seen because it makes him so happy. Yixing makes sure to clasp a hand over his mouth and puts a finger to his lips quietly.
Astoningishly, the great Luhan let's out a boisterous blush at Lay's proximity. They both focus on the scene in front of them until finally, Kris and Tao intertwine their hands and walk to the parking lot.
Luhan and Lay stay in their positions around the corner, still in complete shock until finally they look at each other and shake one another. The news is insane to think that Tao and Kris are finally together. They had to be a couple, they even kissed!
"We are so interrogating Kris." Luhan puts on a fierce expression. Lay chuckles in response before nodding playfully.
Seems like Kris and Tao aren't the only couple in town.
...
When night falls, Tao and Kris hold each other peacefully. Deciding that they didn't want to sleep in seperate rooms anymore, Kris took Tao's wrist and led him to his own bedroom. It was less lonely this way, without being seperated by walls that kept them away from each other.
Their soft breathing is enough to lull one another asleep, yet their hearts are racing far too much for them to drift into any dreamland. Maybe they don't want to fall asleep. Their reality is already dream-like enough like this--just holding one another in a warm and comfortable silence. Their touches are tentative and gentle, still trying to experiment with one another's limits and comfortness.
Tao still has problems with people touching him. After constant abuse, he'll flinch away from almost anyone. But Kris wants to remedy this habit, he wants to trace every single one of Tao's scars and bruises, he wants to kiss them better. Even if it takes years for Tao to grow used to Kris being so close, Kris will wait. He'll always wait.
Tao is already feeling welcome in Kris' arms. This is the kind of warmth he needs and relishes. He's sick of the cold and the loneliness, the constant abuse from his stepdad. Though Tao knows he sometimes strays away from Kris' touches due to habit, Tao is very quickly finding a haven in Kris' intimacy. Right now in his arms, Tao feels safe as if nothing could harm them. He never wants to be away from Kris' arms ever again because that sort of nightmare is only saved in the fears of his unconscious, and he'll be damned if it became a reality.
"You know, Tao..." Kris nuzzles his nose into the crook of Tao's neck, it seems to be his favorite spot to rest his head. "I love you." Kris then smirks and places a light kiss on his neck. Kris doesn't want Tao to be scared of his touch, so he's gentle and sweet about everything he does.
"I love you too." Tao whispers and his arms wrap tighter around the older boy. Just a couple of words strung together to create such a blissful memory. Neither of them knew that fate had this in store for them, but they didn't care anymore about the consequences. They both know that as long as they have each other, everything...everything is going to be ok.
...
The morning after leaves the both of them feeling lazy and clingy. Tao wakes up first due to his morning routine, his body clock is entirely accurate. Tao wants to get up but looks over at a peaceful Kris and decides not to wake the other up. As their limbs are tangled together and their proximity leaves them with less than a hair width's distance, Tao just closes his eyes and enjoys being this close to each other. Thank god it's the weekend.
Tao lets half an hour pass, but he just can't fall back to sleep no matter how content he's feeling. He bites his lip and stares at the blonde boy holding him. Untangling himself from Kris is going to be impossible without waking him. Tao closes his eyes and decides to try it anyway.
He slowly retracts himself from the blonde boy, pulling his legs away and unclinging his arms. Tao feels like he's just about to succeed when suddenly Kris grips Tao tighter in his arms. Tao peeks at Kris--his eyes and shut tight and a frown grows in his forehead. His expression already speaking the words that follow, "Don't leave." Kris murmurs and buries his head on Tao's collarbone.
Tao blushes crimson before nodding and closing his eyes again.
"Just for a bit." Tao finally whispers into Kris' ear. Breakfast and a shower can come later, Tao reasons with himself.
It's silent for a few more minutes until there's a vibration coming from Kris' phone. Tao peers over Kris and looks at his bedside table to check ot Kris' phone.
Kris groans before squeezing tighter. "Just leave it." Kris mutters, too lazy to do anything but to hold the boy in his arms. Kris was never a morning person, but unfortunately, Tao is.
"Neh c'mon, Kris, I'll make you breakfast." Tao places a shy kiss on Kris' head, a soft plea to let him go. It's convincing enough for Kris to huff before reluctantly letting Tao out of his arms.
Tao gives a warm grin before placing a more confident kiss on Kris' forehead. Kris can't help but to let a small smile play on his lips. Aish, this boy will be the death of me.
When Tao is out of the room, Kris groans and rolls over to check his phone.
[1 unread message]
Kris glares at his phone. Right now he couldn't care less about any messages from anyone else. His thoughts were entirely focused on Tao and everyone else is inferior.
{Luhan Bambi}
8:31am 'We saw everything yesterday. So like, are you and Tao a couple?! You got a lot of explaining to do!'
Kris reads the message and groans. Ah . He wasn't planning on telling his friends yet but now he has no choice. It's going to be a little more awkward that they know because they're also living together. What kind of dirty assumptions could his friends come up with? A lot, Kris concludes with a grimace. Tao and Kris are being very innocent with each other, no doubt about it. But knowing his friends, who have the dirtiest minds, they'll think the worst things.
Kris pauses. Are you and Tao a couple? The question echoes in Kris' mind and his eyes go wide. Kris hasn't properly asked Tao to be his own. He only confessed and kissed him, that's as far as it went. Kris pinched the bridge of his nose. I'm such an idiot.
Kris reluctantly sends a reply to Luhan, deciding that he'll just get it over and done with and not have to worry about it afterwards.
8:33am 'No, we're not a couple. Not yet.'
Kris reads it and looks at the reply message uncontently. He isn't happy with the response, but it's all his lazy, morning mind can conjure up. He knows he's gonna get so much as soon as Luhan reads the response. Kris isn't looking forward to it. But at least now, someone can help him figure out the best way to properly ask Tao to be his. Heck, maybe Kris could bring Tao on a proper date. Kris smiles at the thought and gives a small chuckle.
He gets out of bed and stretches his muscles. He lets out a loud yawn before stuffing his phone into his pyjama bottoms. At the smell of food, he's onto his feet and jogging downstairs into the kitchen.
There's a vibration in his pocket and Kris pulls his phone out just as he enters the kitchen.
{Luhan Bambi}
8:34am 'WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY 'not yet'?! LAY AND I SAW YOU KISS EACH OTHER. DO NOT ING TELL ME YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS OR SOME LIKE THAT.'
Kris rolls his eyes at the message. Sounds just like Luhan to send a text like that.
"Who is it?" Tao comes up next to Kris and peers at his phone. Kris flusters and pulls his phone back, not wanting Tao to figure out his plans.
"It's just Luhan." Kris responds nonchalantly. It's the truth so he has nothing to feel bad about.
"Oh." Tao looks at his feet before walking back to the stove place. He takes the pancakes and slips them onto two plates.
"Him and Lay saw us at school yesterday." Kris rubs the back of his neck before sitting at the counter right next to Tao.
"What?" Tao exclaims and almost chokes on his pancakes. He blushes deep scarlet and Kris tries to contain his laughter.
"It's ok, I trust them. They won't tell the whole school or anything drastic like that." Kris assures Tao, patting him softly on the back, trying to make sure Tao doesn't choke.
"I trust them too." Tao says once he recovers. He covers his pancakes with more maple syrup and takes another bite. He's a little flustered and embarassed that someone saw him and Kris kiss, but at least it was only Lay and Luhan.
Meanwhile, Kris sends a message back to Luhan before setting his phone down and sawing into his pancakes. Tao isn't the best cook, they both know it, but his effort is adorable so Kris continues to pester him to make meals. Yet these pancakes are actually really good, Kris reminds himself to compliment Tao when they're done.
When Luhan looks at his phone, he skims over Kris' reply and grins to himself.
{Kris Benben}
8:36am 'I haven't asked him yet. We only confessed. Help me figure out what to do.'
Luhan notes that Kris couldn't even ask nicely. It's more of a demand than anything else but Luhan will gladly help out. Poor Tao, stuck with an idiot like Kris for a boyfriend. Luhan shakes his head to himself.
For years he's been with Kris at his best and worst. Kris never talked much, Luhan never really understood why. Just as soon as they hit highschool, Kris became very introverted and straight to the point. Luhan missed when Kris was a bumbling, clumsy idiot. He always knew something was wrong and it had to be something big for Kris to suddenly take a 180 turn. Luhan and everyone always tried to pester Kris about it and figure out what was wrong, but he never responded. So many of them gave up.
Luhan only realized that it must've been Tao's appearance in highschool that made Kris become like that. It had to be. Kris had taken a complete spin again once he reunited with Tao and they became best friends again...apparently even more than that.
Luhan makes it his top priority to get those two together. He makes it his mission to get them to have the best date ever and for Kris to pop the question in the most romantic way. Luhan swears that if Kris says something like, 'will you go out with me?' he'll beat the blonde with a stick.
He wants both Tao and Kris to be the way they are now: blatantly in love and blissful with one another. He likes seeing the two of them happy and not so introverted. They were themselves when they were around each other.
Luhan saw it coming a mile away. Him and Yixing both knew that something was going on between Kris and Tao. Though they always said they were best friends and such, but Luhan and Lay never missed the obvious attraction the two had for each other.
Oh my god. They're even living together. Luhan gasps dramatically and almost faints now that he knows the two are more than friends. I don't even want to know what kind of 'fun' they have together.
Well, no matter now. Luhan's mission is set and he's already beginning to plan in his head the perfect date.
...
Impatiently, because that's exactly how Kris is, he decides to go out with Tao the exact next day. So he tells Tao that this Sunday is especially for them and they'll go to do something special. Tao beams in response but blushes because he's still getting used to this relationship.
Kris had gotten a text from Luhan late at night. At least two paragraphs that both fulled an entire screen. Kris had rolled his eyes at how typically detailed Luhan was. As soon as his eyes skimmed over sentences like, 'then you look into his eyes passionately', Kris knew that half this information was useless.
I can be romantic when I want to! That's what Kris assures himself. After reading Luhan's plans, Kris already molds it to his own ideas and thoughts so he isn't just following someone elses dream.
{Kris Benben}
11:17pm 'Isn't that super cheesy?'
{Luhan Bambi}
11:17pm 'You ungrateful . I spent the whole day thinking about the perfect way to ask for you! It's perfect all right? Don't mess up.'
{Kris Benben}
11:18pm 'Yeah, yeah, Bambi. Don't get your in a knot, we'll be fine.'
{Luhan Bambi}
11:18pm 'You better be fine and execute this perfectly.'
...
At 11:00 on the Sunday, Kris and Tao make their way out. Kris refuses to tell Tao where they're heading--which makes the younger boy whine in complaint, and only tells Tao to dress casually and comfortably. Tao huffs but complies; trying to convince himself that he enjoys surprises.
When they're in the car, Kris goes a little further and puts a blindfold over Tao's eyes.
"Are you kidding me, Kris?" He whines and tries to squirm away but Kris keeps a tight grasp on his hip so he can tie a knot.
"It's for the experience." Kris teases and chuckles before poking Tao's cheek. Tao crosses his arms; his frown visible above the blindfold.
"Do you want to get lunch before we go?" Kris then remember after he starts the car.
"I'm not hungry." Tao replies, trying to feel and imagine what road they're going down.
"Then away we go." Kris has a small smile playing on his lips, it's almost a smirk but too endearing. The things Tao makes him feel.
...
Once they've stepped out of the car after a half an hour drive, Kris just doesn't let Tao take off his blindfold. This makes Tao even more frustrated and he even goes as far to stomp his foot in frustration.
Kris laughs at Tao's mini tantrum and sees that Tao hasn't grown up too much from when they were little. Kris loves the fact that Tao only acts this way around him. It makes Kris proud and it makes him feel special.
Kris carefully leads Tao out of the packed parking lot and guides him down the footpath with their hands entwined. Tao reaches out with his other hand, uncomfortable with one of his senses unable to function properly.
"Almost there." Kris encourages, gingerly bringing Tao to his side, making sure he didn't bump into anything. He reaches behind Tao's head. "Ready?" Kris breathes huskily into Tao's ear. Tao feels a little light headed feeling Kris' presense right beside him with his voice in his ear.
He fights it all off and gives a slow nod.
Kris unties the knot with steady fingers and whips the blindfold away. Tao tries to adjust to the light and squints his eyes. Finally, he sees the scene in front of him. It's an amusement park.
"I know it's a little cliché but...I thought it would be fun for us." Kris rubs his neck hesitantly and gazes at Tao for affirmation. Tao only buzzes with excitement and stares at the amusement park with wonder. He reaches over and grabs Kris' wrist, pulling him inside and running towards the entrance.
...
They tried smaller rides first. The really kiddy ones that seemed lame but were actually quite fun once you got on.
Kris can't focus on much besides how elated Tao is. He loves that expression of joy and fun and like when they were little, Kris swears to himself that he always wants to see that expression. This time, he makes another promise to himself that as long as he's by Tao's side, he'll always strive to make Tao this happy.
"What ride should we try next?" Kris asks Tao, slowly tugging on his fingers before slowly snaking his own through. He gives Tao's hand a squeeze and looks at him with love. How they both wish they can spend forever like this.
"Ferris wheel." Tao's blush is obvious in the afternoon glow as he gazes up at the large ferris wheel.
Kris has a quick, internal freak out. "No!" Kris' heart breaks when he sees Tao's shocked and slightly hurt face. "I mean. Not yet. How about we save that for last?" Kris leans down and places a light kiss on Tao's forehead, a small apology for the way he acted.
"Okay then." Tao agrees with a flustered smile. Kris looks for another ride that seems fun.
"How bout we go in the scary house?" Kris gazes at the large building to their right and nudges Tao with his elbow. Kris remembers how Tao always got scared of ghosts when they were little. They used to have sleepovers and then suddenly Tao would come and pester Kris about how he heard creepy noises. He smiles remembering those particular memories of Tao clinging onto him, shaking and scared, it was adorable and Kris loved taking care of him.
Tao hesitates and gazes at the horror house. Already, he knows this won't be a good idea. He hates being scared as he gets scared really easily. He believes in ghosts and sounds at night can even freak him out. Tao wants to be brave though, he wants to prove himself to Kris. Urgh, what am I getting myself into.
"Um ok." Tao accidently stutters when he agrees. Kris chuckles at Tao's cuteness and drags him into the house.
"If you get scared, I'm here for you. Just hang on." Kris huskily whispers into Tao's ear, making him flustered for the umpteenth time.
When they walk through the door, Tao already knows this is a bad idea. The lighting is minimal, there are creeking and echoing noises and Tao isn't sure he can make it through the whole house without freaking out. I'll be ok, Kris is here with me.
For the first five minutes, they're fine. Kris finds the whole things pretty stupid, it's not even scary to him. The setting is tacky, the background noises are obviously coming from a CD and the lighting is just a little over too dim so it's hard to see. Kris could even scoff at how lame this house is.
But when Kris looks over at Tao, he knows that all of these tacky things are scaring the daylights out of him. Kris finds it adorable.
A skeleton falls down from the ceiling right in front of them--red LED lights eminating from it's eyes.
Tao jumps and clings onto Kris' arm, squeezing his eyes shut and his heart racing. Kris' heart flutters and he smiles at the boy clutching him.
He pulls him in for a hug.
"You know it's all cheap plastic on string, right?" Kris murmurs into Tao's ear while rubbing his back soothingly. He places a gentle kiss on Tao's ear and then on his temple. Tao seems to calm down with Kris' presence and nods shakily.
They continue walking through the shadowed hallways. Things get spookier for Tao and he unconciously clings tighter to Kris. Tao knows this was a bad idea from the very start, but he's trying to pull it together and stick it through to the end. He can manage that.
Kris can feel Tao's tremors everytime there's a jumpscare. It's nothing too horrific, just a bunch of toys swaying out and badly recorded voice echoing through the house but it's enough to make Tao feel like he's about to have a breakdown. Kris wraps his arm soothingly around his shoulder. Actually, he's beginning to feel bad for making Tao walk through the horror house with him. He knew that Tao scares really easily, but his fascination with the boy just made him want to trace the curves of his every expression as they walk down the halls.
Kris feels guilty. He tries to speed up so it'll be over and done with and Tao can recover from his shaking. Kris keeps him close, almost huddled into his own body as if he were a cacoon.
When light filters through and there's an open exit door in front of them, Tao almost bounds towards it so he can just get out of the house.
Then he remembers that he wanted to prove how brave he was...even though that was a complete failure.
All the while, Kris watches his expression change from one of childish glee to a false façade of manliness. Kris lets out a quiet chuckle and leads them out.
Tao lets out an inaudible sigh once they've made it out. Kris catches it though--just like he catches everything Zitao does. It's somethig Kris can't not do even if he tries.
...
The moment comes when the sun begins to set and they've complete all the rides at the amusement park except for one. Kris has no choice but to go for the ferris wheel because there are no more rides to do. He knows he's being dumb by feeling nervous. It's not like Tao will reject him. How can he if they love each other? Kris tries to shake himself out of this stupid funk that he's put himself into. He's just scared of being rejected by the person that's most important in the world to him.
"I guess now we have to go on the ferris wheel, huh?" Kris looks up, trying to find the attraction. He finds it immediately, in a barrage of shimmering colors and fairy lights.
Tao hugs his new soft toy cutely, the one that Kris won him not only 30 minutes ago. He treasures this one almost as much as he treasures his toy panda because they're both from Kris. That makes Tao love them both more.
"Let's go!" Tao makes his way towards the ride with Kris in tow. They hold hands again, the action becoming second nature to the both of them. They hold hands for almost all of the day, only stopping to eat or to have some space. Either way, they're becoming closer in more than just an emotional way.
"Carriage for two, please." Kris asks the lady at the small stall right in front of the ferris wheel. She nods and they wait for a carriage to come down. Kris is surprised that there's hardly anybody in the amusement park today. He was expecting a huge crowd because it's the weekend, but he's pleasantly surprised by the small queues.
Kris feels butterflies in his stomach when Tao and him step into a carriage. The butterflies shake him to the very core and his heart starts beating erratically. Calm down.
Tao stares out the window in awe. He enjoys the view of the skyline and the horizon. It's almost as if the nature meets the city as far as his eyes can see. He watches the sun dip down the horizon in brilliant hues of orange, purple and pink. It's one of the most beutiful sights Tao has witnessed.
Kris steadily waits for their carriage to reach it's peak. The whole rotation is a little too slow for Kris' liking because it gives him more time to be nervous. But finally, when their carriage is at the very top, overlooking the entire park and city, Kris takes a deep breath.
The carriage stops. The ferris wheel is frozen in place while someone down below is getting on. What perfect timing.
"Tao." Kris calls, his eyes meeting the younger boy's. Kris' heart flutters and he's immediately reminded just how much he's fallen for Tao. Just the way he is, just the way they are together. Kris just knows this is the moment.
"I know we've already confessed to each other and everything...but I want to formally ask you." Kris refuses to let habit take over and rub his neck. He stares down deep into Tao' chocolate orbs instead and tries to summon all the confidence he can muster.
Tao flushes at Kris' words. His heart beats a little faster in excitement and he squeezes his new cat toy to his chest to try to calm himself down. Tao finds Kris blushing, and it almost matches the sky in softness.
"Will you be mine?" Kris breathes out. Time seems to go on forever, just while they were here in their carriage, undisturbed and alone together. It's perfect.
"Of course." Tao murmurs and gives Kris a beaming smile. Kris doesn't give Tao a chance to even speak. He moves in close and then crashes his lips onto Tao's. He wants to seal the moment with their lips, expressing words that can't be said through his actions.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
The words are uttered but their kiss says it all. Their kiss tells more than the words do. It speaks tenfold about their feelings for one another. The gratefulness, the pain, the adoration. Everything that they need to say to each other. It's all in this one kiss.
...
It might take time for the both of them to heal. It might take years for them to fully become themselves again. But they're slowly fixing each other. As long as they have one another, as long as they're with one another, things will never go astray.
Tao used to be a broken puppet. He's not so broken anymore. He still finds comfort in the strings that lead him along. These strings are his reason to live. And right above him is his beloved Kris. They're both puppets in some way. They can both get lost and they can both lose their sense of direction. But they're constantly pulling each other to keep on moving, keep on living because they have something to live for. That's all they really need: these strings full of love and not barbed wire.
That's exactly what their relationship is built upon. No, it's not perfect. There are still things that need fixing, things that might not be resolved yet, but they don't need perfect. Kris and Tao are the entities of imperfections, but they're okay with that. Perfect is just an illusion, they're relationship is reality. And for Tao and Kris, their reality will always be a complete dream so long as they always have each other.
Fin~~
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