Before I start off this, I do have to introduce myself to you. I'm 'exoticbabylove', you can call me Cora and I am a temporary reviewer here to help out with some requests so don't be lost if you don't see my name in the staff list. First, I have to say that I really like the ideal content that you wish to see in the review; I love covering about the plot and characterization. So let's get started!

Personally, for the plot of the story. I really admire you for writing a plot set in the dystopian era; it isn't easy writing a setting which is unfamilar to the current world. Writing an a zombie apocalypse was a very daring and challenging step for a fanfic. I once tried writing something similar to yours a year ago but I didn't come out successfully due to the lack of details and ideas I can think of as the atmosphere and tension set in the story is totally different from our reality. The feeling of being hunt down and how death seem to be stuck with the characters everytime was missing in my description. It was impossible to achieve a great piece of writing for a zombie apocalypse genre but you proved me wrong after I read your fanfic. No, it can't be called a fanfic. The atmosphere and wordings sounded more like a novel.

I haven't really sat down to watch the series 'The Walking Dead' so I can't really say if there were any similarities or differences thus this is all new to me. Yeah, I do personally think that it was a good idea to adapt some ideas from the story as not all readers have watched The Walking Dead.

However, I do have to cover a little on your writing style. It is very descriptive and I can visualise them clearly but your story consists of mostly long sentences. I hope that you can add a contrast in your writing style so that we can see both short and long sentences. Let's take this paragraph for example, you should break up a long sentence so that there will be a balance in the story.

✰The two simmered in silence for a while, sitting side by side on some rotted log that they had salvaged before the flash flood. After leaving the deserted city a few weeks ago, Sehun and Jongin had been on the search for a permanent refuge; well, they had been on a permanent search for a place to call home for a year, now, miles away from the part of Seoul where everything had gone downhill. Should be "The two simmered in silence for a while, sitting side by side on some rotted logs that they salvaged before the flash flood. After leaving the deserted ciy a few weeks ago, Sehun and Jongin have been on the search for a permanent refuge. For the past year, they had been searching for a place called home. Now, everything had gone downhill miles away from Seoul."

There were tenses error in some parts of the sentence as the tenses was switching back and forth. Yes, I did some restructuring in your sentences and you seem to have the habit of repeating your words. The long sentences somehow resulted me in getting a wrong idea of your inital thoughts as when I read the part above several times, different meanings appeared in my mind. Especially the last sentence starting from the 'now...' so I do wish that you can stop all these small 'misunderstandings' by reading your finished product several times.

Let's move on, for the story content. One thing I have to point out is the first chapter, I didn't understand why you had to repeat what was given in the summary in the first chapter again. Personally, I tend to feel annoyed when I see the same content without a change in the words. So, I will suggest summarising the foreword without extracting a part from your first chapter. This is my personal opinion though, you may prefer the inital way but I will totally look forward to seeing your opinions about this.

The plot development was amazing when you revealed small bits of facts about them. I enjoyed reading the current situation of the characters. One of the reasons why I enjoyed the story was the realistic level; everything mentioned in the story sounded realistic to me and the condition and helplessness coming from Sehun and Jongin were very real. Let's take the shortage of food and medicine for example, this showed how bad the living condition was. The story came out as an enjoyable one as there were interesting facts that I came to know compared to a normal fanfic about school(no offense). 

Characters:

If you move on to the characterization, I have to tell you that the characterization was an amazing job and I can see countless effort and thoughts put into the whole story, you have done a great job! So, let's talk about the main characters individually as we do a thorough character analysis and my opinions put into them.

[Jongin] In general, I have to tell you that Jongin is my favourite character in the fanfic, why? I loved how his character developed, especially when you did foreshadowing in the past. When I read this story, even though it was written as a third person's perspective, the point of view was coming from Jongin. So after reading the first few sentences, I can probably assume that he is one of the main characters. Firstly, I have to tell you that this story reminds me so much of Shingeki no Kyojin(Attack on Titan), I'm not sure if you have hear of this title but it is an anime. The nervousness and helplessness from the characters are so similar, I have to compliment you for writing this as the emotions were strongly felt and showed in your words. 

Even though you mentioned that Jongin was one of the delinquents in the past. I was satisfied and pleased to see a change of attitude from a delinquent, as most stereotypical deliquents were depicted as cold and inhumane characters and when you mentioned how he feared the lonliness he would encounter if something happens to Sehun. I found that very realistic as no matter how cold we are, humans are still afraid of the circumstances he/she will face at such a harsh and deadly environment. Thus, I have to applaud the current feelings Jongin had.

Another part of the story which I enjoyed was the biters' attack when Jongin got caught up in Kyungsoo's animal trap. The believability rate was amazing as you related to the reason why Jongin had that dumb idea of amputating his leg so that he can save his best friend somehow. Yes, when I read that, I was honestly shock. How was the story going to continue like this? My heartbeat did raise and I even had thoughts on how he could cut off his bones and flesh with just a pen-knife. However, my thoughts were cleared when the plan failed. This scene was very realistic and I have to tell you that you make me love your story even more!

[Sehun] Compared to Jongin, Sehun's characterization wasn't as well-developed. Was it due to the point of view? There were some parts of the story where I had to cringe about the realisticy. I don't mean to sound harsh but let's look at a part of the story where I had to question the believability.

"Sehun slowly shook his head, because he knew for certain that his friends hadn't survived. He and his best friend had been sitting together when it all happened, and a biter had reached into the broken window to practically tear his friend's head clear off his shoulders. When Sehun thought about that, he sort of regretted not fighting a little longer for the window seat; maybe he could have saved his friend. Maybe not."[Chapter 3]

I have to admit that I pratically rolled my eyes when I read the underlined sentence. What? I had to disagree with his feelings and thoughts. In this type of circumstances, many normal human beings will in fact thank their lucky stars that they didn't get eaten up by the biters. So, it was a bit unrealistic for me when he thought of that. However, it could show some signs of unrealistic feelings but he can be considered as self-less person to be able to have such thoughts.

I like the flaws you have given for Sehun; let's take his poor battling skills for example. He wasn't as bright in combat as Jongin, and he had some fears about the biters. Yes, he can be considered as a kind kid but sometimes, he cares for someone too much and that overcaring causes him to worry about the biter's feelings. I managed to catch that expression when you mentioned that he assumes that part of the human's soul was stuck to the undead.  

Somehow, I enjoy seeing the hesistation from Sehun when he wouldn't dare to 'kill' the biter. Who wouldn't? We are all humans and who are not used to the bloody life-style and it is just shocking seeing the insides and blood flowing out if you cut through them. So, the shock and hesistation coming from Sehun was very realistic in fact, however I'm a very bias person, I prefer Jongin's character! Putting that aside, I can fully conclude that Sehun is a timid person compared to Jongin. A great contrast in fact for both best friends.

[Zitao] Seriously, this character left one of the longest impressions in my head. He wasn't the main character indeed but he's attitude was no-different from a biter. I didn't understand how Minseok could spend a year with him without getting influence. I can see that he changed a lot during this 'war' that they have. In conclusion, for me, Zitao is like a hungry beast waiting for his preys. He has that great sense of achievement after killing off some heads. A cold bastard in my opinion. I was partly happy and relieved when I saw Jongin execute him. During his death, I had this idea that this story will be a exhilarting roller-coaster ride for my heart!

[Kyungsoo] Okay, I can't wait to read more about this dude but he's one of the good ones in the story that can be trusted! Even though he gave off that cold aura when during the first meeting. He seems to be softening up after spending more time with the group. Well, this is merely my opinion and I totally love his character compared to Baekyeol. Baekyeol will be talked as a couple in the relationships list so don't worry if their not listed here. So, I like how you incorporate the similarities as Kyungsoo had that motherly-side in Exo and it was great seeing the similarities when I learned that he was a voluntary nurse.

[Minseok] There isn't much about him for me as he was more to the kind side compared to Zitao and Kai before this situation broke out. However, I didn't get to see a lot from him as I expected a better characterization from him. Well, it isn't easy writing 12 guys in this story with different personalities so I do have to applaud your action. However, I do wish to see more development from Minseok as the only part he had was the part he confronted Jongin about Zitao's death. I can see that he is understanding and takes note of tiny details like how he noticed how Zitao actually cared for Jongin. So, I wish to see more Minseok scenes!

Relationships

[Sehun & Jongin] Wait, let me talk about 'SeJong'. I have to tell you that you really make me look up to that trust and friendship both hunks have for each other. Let me tell you something, there was this certain sentence that left a lasting impression in my mind, why are you so amazing? Let's have a look at that sentence before I 'release' my opinions and feels.

Perhaps that was why Jongin felt relieved when his best friend laid his head to sleep without having to keep one eye open for biters. 

This was the holy sentence that made my feels mixed up. Yes, this sentence proves that Sehun has utmost trust in Jongin, thus he would sleep in peace. He didn't suspect Jongin to be a traitor and he knew that Jongin will wake him up if the biters appear. I totally love the trust and faith built up in their friendship! I have to add another point in here, you used the showing method instead of merely telling us that their friendship was strong. Great job! 

When I read that biters were drawn by his blood or the sound he made, they reminded me of several things. The first one was the movie 'World War Z', the zombies were specially affected when they hear something, somehow they will be faster in speed and strength. It might sound totally different but this popped out in my mind when I read the scene. The next thing I got reminded of were vampires. Well, they can sense and sniff out the smell of blood. So, I was amazed when the biters seem to be able to sense the blood coming from Jongin.

[Jongin, Zitao & Minseok] I really love the comparison you did for this three best friend and Kyungsoo, Sehun. Let's look at that extract.

"Maybe he had a few things to thank his father for, because he had certainly put those skills to "good" use as soon as Jongin had been hurled into this hellish pit of survival against those biters and other not-so-friendly people. The environment Kim Jongin had grown up in had prepared him for this, not all of it, but most of it. His friends were also contributing factors; after all, a bully had better chances of surviving this tough dog-eat-dog world because their minds had already been conditioned to think themselves better than the weak. He, Minseok, and Zitao were already so perfectly prepared for a zombie apocalypse. Kyungsoo and Sehun? Not so much."[Chapter 5]

I love the last few sentences as they made me feel so amazed by the environment Jongin and his friends had grown up on. Never had I thought that these delinquents will be the ones standing in this deadly world while those outstanding and obedient ones were the eliminated ones. This wowed me so much as it showed that being a delinquent wouldn't mean that you would have a horrible future. Great information and I managed to experience another point of view. However, I'm not that sure when you added Kyungsoo in as he seemed to be independent and resourceful on his own. So, I had to question that sentence too. It would be great if you can tell me your opinions about this as Kyungsoo managed to kill some biters with the arrow. Correct me if I am wrong.

[Baekhyun & Chanyeol] This two dudes are simply devilish two-faced. When I first read about Baekhyun's arrival, he sounded so cute with those bad jokes. I thought that he would join their group so that the atmosphere wouldn't be that tense. Simply saying, he was a troll master and the way he can joke even in such deadly conditions were amazing. I was laughing my head off when he was like annoying Jongin's group(especially Kyungsoo) by talking nonsense.

Then, when he brought them back to that place, I was so happy and relieved that there are two kind people to keep them in. However, my happiness was short-lived when I read the last few sentences of the latest chapter, why?? They were so two-faced and this made me half sad and half pleased with the story! There isn't much character development about Chanyeol since he didn't have much descriptions about him. I will look forward to more development coming from Chanyeol in the next few chapters!

Before I end off this review, I would like to ask you a very important question for the whole story, why wasn't this question asked in the whole seven chapters? "What the hell happened to cause such a zombie apocalypse? What was the cause? Is there a cure for this?" I was shocked when no-one questioned about this in the story? Don't tell me that they wish to spend their whole life killing biters? So, I do wish to see some questions coming from them about this as everyone tends to be curious.

exoticbabylove

-3 Feb'14

- - - - - - - - - - 

Reviewer's notes : I have to apologise if this was a long wait. A great fanfic indeed, would you mind if I recommend this fanfic in my recommendation shop? I will totally look forward to your opinions and thoughts about this review. This review is written after I read the seven chapter so the eighth one wasn't included as when I finished this review without this note, the latest chapter came out. Okay, thank you for requesting from Paradise RS and I will hope to see you soon!

-exoticbabylove

3-2-2014