2- The Defects
Psychosis.
Plip, plip, plip, the rain fell against the glass of the car window like tears from a lone deity above, filling the atmosphere with gloom. The radio at the front was spewing the latest k-pop song that Himchan was humming, with Zelo apathetically tapping his fingers in time to the beat. The silence was thick and heavy, settling uneasily over the occupants of the car like a choking smog. His perfect hair swaying to the music, Himchan glanced in the mirror, checking Zelo's expression carefully.
"Zelo, you know we're going to visit every chance, right?" he nodded, his gaze folowed after the cold rain in its chaotic descent. Plip, plip, plip. The boy's pale hand lifted to his face where tears were dropping like rain falling from a cold green sky.
"How long do I have to stay?" his voice came out steady, and calm, despite the shuddering of his insides. Himchan glanced back again, his eyes b with apology.
"I'm not sure. Hopefully, not too long." he chimed, smiling as reassuringly as he could. Zelo didn't believe him.
"Hm," Zelo leaned his head against the back of Himchan's seat. The monstrous, miserable, unhappy building loomed oppressively overhead. "I don't want to go..." he mouthed, despair filling his stomach with a silvery cold. "I don't want to go..." Himchan saw him hunched over in the back, shivering slightly with anxiety.
"I'm sorry, Zelo. But you're our dongsaeng, you should know by now that we love you."
Zelo flinched at that word, for Daehyun hadn't come, preferring to "Stay home and get some cleaning done", he had said, ruffling Zelo's hair as gingerly as before. Of course, Zelo had not believed him.
The rain came a little harder. Plip, plip, plip...
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The receptionist, Zelo noted, was unpleasant and very much like that light brunette haired slattern who'd been draping herself across Jongup's arm. Upon their entrance, she glared up at them, as if they were intruding on her personal time, causing Zelo to scowl. She very rudely snatched the paperwork from lovely Himchan's hand, checking over the form quickly and waving her approval. Zelo didn't like her. Neither did Yongguk.
She cast them a withering look as Himchan turned to embrace Zelo once more. "We'll both come visit you on Friday." he pulled back, looking at him with sadness deep in the depths of his eyes. Fidgeting nervously, Zelo crunched his lower lip between his teeth, trying hard not to cry. Himchan his younger brothers forehead, avoiding the scar with his long fingers, then turned to leave.
Zelo watched him miserably, as he took several long quick strides to the door. Himchan paused, his hand clutching the handle tightly. "I love you!" he called, his voice trembling slightly, and then he was gone leaving the silent adolescent alone. The receptionist grumbled something behind him as she rustled the papers on her desk, looking for his room number. The voices twittered obscenities at the woman as he gave her a sour stare.
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He took time to stare blandly at his new "home". The entirety of the room was white, with beige furniture littering the wide tiled floor. There were several desks holding drooping flowers that hung just above dog eared magazines full of idle prattle. A strong, overbearing scent of disinfectant assaulted his nose, and the gentle noises of the building passed quietly, like vapors, around him.
The agitated woman cleared , annoyed, waving the papers in the air. "Just read the number, kid. You're on floor three." Zelo nodded, taking the papers in his trembling hands and walked away, his small, lonely frame fading into the long bleached halls like a receding spectre. The ghastly sounds in his head extended...
Banshee, slattern, wench, Banshee slattern wench, banshee slattern wench, bansheeslattern wench, Bansheeslatternwench...
Several minutes later, Zelo was settled, having only brought his small wardrobe to fold into his dresser, his three notebooks and a dictionary. Much to his dismay, there was no door, only a thin green curtain. With a sigh, he closed it, attaching the tag on the curtain to the Velcro patch on his wall. As soon as he was sure the world could not see him, he collapsed onto the small cot, his eyes burning with tears. "Why? Why? Why?" his throat still ached from his episode in the hospital, his head throbbed from the fight, and the voices closed in for another attack...
He was too sad to care ...
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Himchan returned home several hours later to find a silent Daehyun staring out the window, darkly. "Do you think we did the right thing?" he asked, his voice gentle. Himchan sighed, sitting down beside him and dropping his jacket on the floor. "Of course. Why would you ask that?" Daehyun shrugged, his hands cupping a mug of coffee. "He's... all alone there, hyung." Himchan leaned forward, gently squeezing his arm.
"I know. We just have to hope for the best."
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After leaving the infirmary at the hospital, Zelo had been taken in to treat the new slashes on his ears, he found the kindly nurse guiding him to the recreational center while informing him of protocol at this wretched facility. "And this is where you spend your free time, dear." he didn't like this nurse, he decided, because she was too happy. Too sweet. Fake.
The room, worn down from use, was filled with old musty chairs and couches spilling their insides on the floor. A beaten down television sat blaring some idiotic cartoon with obnoxious music and screaming voices grating through the soft murmur of the atmosphere. Off to the back wall, he could see a huge shelf of books, slightly bowed under the weights of the dog-eared volumes. The nurse spoke some encouragement behind him, leaving him hugging his dictionary and his notebook to his chest rather childishly.
Across the way, near a beat down pool table, he saw some kids all hanging out and talking in hushed undertones. The other kids all seemed crammed in front of the Television, or nestled on the tattered furniture reading the sad old books, or even a few just staring out the window wistfully at the rain, as though it were the most beautiful sight in the world. The room greatly depressed him.
He felt so out of place. His stomach twisting, he took a tentative step into the room, and sat down by the door, flipping open his notebook to his latest word: Asylum. He fell into the monotony of his research, turning the delicate, worn pages of the dictionary gently, as though it were a bible.
Asylum- Definition: an institution used largely for the treatment of the mentally ill or the elderly, very widely known as a mental hospital ie facility.
His fingers shook as he scribbled the words into the lines of the paper, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes. "I'm... not mentally ill." he said aloud, his voice shattering the silent atmosphere. Big mistake.
The whole room's attention turned towards him, causing him to fidget uncomfortably. Some snickered, pointing at the new kid, while others shot him venomous looks to reprimand him for destroying their peaceful silence. The group by the pool table seemed relatively unconcerned by his outburst, but one of them was pointing at him and talking quite animatedly, or so it seemed.
Wouldn't it be great if they all just dropped dead?
He winced, his eyes narrowing fretfully at the suggestion. "Don't say that." he spoke quietly this time, avoiding detection, much to his relief. The voices fell silent and he sighed at the sense of peace that settled over him. He glanced at his schedule noting that he had about fifteen minutes left of his break. Then he had to report to some group therapy thing and after that go see a counselor named... Yoo Youngjae.
At that moment, a shadow loomed over him, causing him to peek up through his haphazard hair at the doll faced girl above him. He was fairly certain that she was the one who had been talking about him. "Hey there, cutie," she smiled, reaching down and grabbing his hand. "Wanna talk?" She gave a violent tug on his arm and he sprang up, practically convulsing to escape the touch. She smirked and wrapped her arms around his waist, causing him to give a loud cry of discomfort which invoked a breathless giggle from her small, pouted lips.
"Get off!" he pleaded, jamming his hands against her scrawny arms. "Get off!" the voices were buzzing angrily at her impudence, urging him to strike her, claw her pretty face, while she clung to him laughing at his discomfort, laughing at his reaction... laughing, laughing, laughing... Little .
"Serenity, come on. Leave him alone." drawled a boy from the far corner of the room, the one housing the broken pool table. The girl pouted, retracting her arms and stamping her feet.
"You never let me have any fun." she whined, her short choppy hair revealing a vivid purple iris set in a wide, mascara drenched eye. Zelo stared hard at her. That couldn't be natural, could it?
The boy rolled his eyes, proceeding to ignore her and take another scraping with his pencil in his book. "Sis, Kai right." called a girl who looked very much like Zelo's assailant except her hair was a bit longer in and she was dressed considerably more conservatively. Her visible eye was red. Weird... he shivered, reaching down for his things, listening to the argument beginning.
"Tch, how was I supposed to know he'd flip, Rayne?" the other girl gaped at her sister in awe of her... stupidity? Lack of common sense? Any of those would work, he noted dryly, straightening up with his books and schedule.
"Uh, You could ask him to come over here and talk to us instead of draping yourself over him like a cape." Rayne stated, crossing her arms firmly across her chest.
"Psht, whatever, you little..." she caught herself, one eye flicking over to Zelo's unimpressed and blithe expression. She smiled. "Want to meet the crew?" she arranged her hair in front of her other eye, looking intently at Zelo's pale face.
"Um... Not really. I mean... It's just that I..." he watched the girl as she turned and darted away not bothering to listen to him. She cleared the space in a matter of seconds. Zelo followed slowly after her, checking to see if the top of his scar was covered. It was. The two streaks that skirted below his eyes couldn't be helped, so he simply turned his face down as he reached the four... friends?
"So," Serenity all but shrieked. "This is my adorable sister Salang-bi. 'Pretty Rain.' But she goes by Rayne. And my name is Jinjeon-bi. 'Calm Rain.' But I go by Serenity." Serenity smiled shyly at him, brushing her bangs back behind her ears to reveal a deep purple iris much like her sister's.
"How do you do that?" he blurted, leaning close to examine her eyes.
"Contacts." Rayne reached up, digging the red disc from her eye to reveal a very plain and uninspiring brown ring around her liquid pupils. She blushed at the closeness. Zelo's amazement must have showed because Rayne smiled kindly before reinserting the lens over her eye and blinking it into place.
Serenity huffed, clearly not pleased at being ignored. "This is Kai, the suffering artist." With a dramatic flourish, she pointed at the black haired boy who'd saved him in the first place, still with his soft face buried, scratching very diligently, in his sketchbook. His bangs had a funny fringe dyed into a rainbow ordered streak. She peeked behind him at his drawing. "Ooh, that's good, you should show new kid." Kai swatted at her head, which caused his long sleeve to slide up. A long strip of white bandages peeked through.
"Just finish with your moronic introduction."
Rolling her eyes, Serenity then pointed to an emaciated girl sitting on the ground listening to her iPod very loudly. "This is Sulyeon. Sulyeon?" Serenity aimed a swift kick at Sulyeons' side, watching her lurch forward her brown eyes opening.
"What?" her voice was unnecessarily loud. "What is it?" The headphones slid from her ears, settling behind her head in a comedic fashion. Zelo almost smiled. Almost.
"Say hello to the new kid." Sulyeon stared hard at Serenity as though she were crazy.
"What? What are you talking about?" she caught a glimpse of Zelo out of the corner of her eye, turning and smiling apologetically at him. "Sorry, my name's Sulyeon. And you are?" Her eyes were deep brown, tinted with hazel. She held his gaze as a performer would. That is to say, it felt like he was being scrutinized, though not in a bad way.
"Zelo..." he mumbled, staring hard at his feet to avoid her too sincere gaze. He lifted his head a fraction of an inch, studying her carefully. She was too skinny. That was all he really cared to notice. Her hair was light and limp, obviously thinned from malnourishment, and her brown eyes were round and heavily underlined with shadows. He didn't like her, he decided, because she was not enough like Himchan. No, he did not like her for her too thin hair, her too brown eyes, and her too skinny body. End of story. Yongguk agreed.
Come to think of it, he didn't like any of the three girls. Serenity was too touchy and whiny while Rayne was far too quiet and shy. They all irked him. "So.. what brings you to our defective family?" asked the boy, finally taking the time to pull himself away from his art. Zelo shrugged, not really wanting to tell them anything. He wanted to forget them as soon as possible.
"Come on, Zelo?" wheedled Serenity, her hands clasped in front of her. He scowled to himself, deciding he wouldn't willingly give his name next time.
"If we tell you our reasons will you tell us yours?" offered Rayne, elbowing Kai's slack arm. Zelo thought for a minute, mulling it over thoughtfully. "I guess..." The four looked at each other, unsure of who should give this information. After a silent consent, Kai began.
"My name is Kai. I am the unhappy resident of this building for a year now, being locked away for behavioral issues including self-mutilation and some bipolar disorder, I suppose." he said it very casually, toying with the piercing running through his lip as he said so. "Serenity has anger issues and an Insatiable libido. ual desire." Serenity cursed punching Kai in the shoulder, as if the point needed reinforcement. Unfazed, Kai continued, "Rayne is a homoual. She comes here daily for therapy as her mother is a rabid nonbeliever in gay rights." Rayne blushed, pushing her hair back into her face and mumbling something.
"And Sulyeon, although she adamantly denies it, has an eating disorder." Sulyeon pushed her headphones back over her ears, turning the music up as loud as it would go. "Bulimia, I think."
Doubting his earlier decision, Zelo rocked back on his heels, playing with the black strings of his over sized jacket and feeling the ache in his neck from holding the tilted position of his head. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw several shadowy forms standing beside him nodding encouragingly at him to continue. Yongguk leaned forward slightly, undulating his blue tinged and sharply tipped fingers. Zelo took the initiative, taken aback by the sudden visit from his favorite voice.
"Well, my name is Zelo. I'm here because people who no one can see, talk to me." He looked up, his hair slipping off of his scar and revealing the raised purple slashes that his father had so graciously bestowed upon him. His mouth twitched slightly as he saw the horrified look on Sulyeons' face, having glanced up just as his hair fell back and the strange stares from the 'Rain' twins. Kai, however, remained collected, calm, stoic even...
There was silence in the corner of the room, not a sound but the tap, tap, tap, of Kai's pencil on his paper, before he smirked slightly examining Zelo's forehead with interest. It was unsettling, the cold gaze. It was as if he were considering dissecting him, piece by piece. Zelo's scalp tingled.
"You'll fit right in."
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