This is where our story starts. Luhan is in Minseok’s room.  He had set up a little nook for him there, like he always did – does. Or maybe we should start talking in past tense now because that’s how Luhan is feeling right now.

 

He left his space for a while to set up a camera – Minseok’s – before him. It’s usually all easy for him. He’s quite used to it since Minseok’s property is practically his to use. As long as he puts them back in their right places, of course. This time, though, things are a bit slower because what he’s about to do is slightly more nerve-wracking than usual. Oh, forget slightly. Things are more nerve-wracking than usual.

 

He sits back down, letting a nervous sigh escape his lips. His hand shakes as he reaches for the camera to press the record button.

 

There it is again, that nervous sigh.

 

“The thing is… when did we stop being friends? Yes, we still hang out all the time. You’re still the closest person to me among our members – both physically and emotionally. We still have our own little inside jokes. We still talk about how our day was even when we’ve spent the day together. We still do these things that only the closest of friends do. So tell me, Kim Minseok… when did we stop being friends?”

 

He looked down at his lap where his hands are, fidgeting a little.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t understand a word I’m saying right now. I don’t understand half of what I’m saying, either. I’m all emotions and no logic whatsoever. It’s just that I have a lot of things I want to say and I can’t stop myself from rambling on and on—“

 

He caught himself in the middle of this statement. He laughed a little, finding it funny.

 

He straightened up a bit, bracing himself for what he’s about to day.

 

“I love you, Kim Minseok. I… I don’t remember how it started. It was a gradual process, I guess. I just – I mean… I don’t know how to explain this. I just kind of want you to know that I love you. I love you to the point that I don’t think we can be friends anymore because it’s just so so hard trying to control my feelings when I’m around you.”

 

His heart is pounding fast now. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t even have thought of doing this but the camera’s still recording and he’s still talking and maybe he just needs to get this done and over with.

 

“I don’t even know why I’m telling you this… maybe I just needed you to know. I think you should know. Yeah… so…”

 

Luhan gave a small, sad smile to the camera before hitting the record button off.

 

He left the camera on top of Minseok’s bed, smack in the middle where it could easily be seen. Minseok, being the control freak/borderline OC person that he is, will definitely check it later.

 

He’ll see the message. Luhan’s sure of it.

 

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

This is how our story continues. Minseok is frantic. He has been banging on the doors of the other members’ rooms for almost an hour now. It’s a marvel how they can stay awake after all the noise he’s made.

 

Luhan’s the first to get up, of course. No, we’re not sure if this is habitual, that Luhan and Minseok are the first ones up. It’s predictable for this day, though.

 

Luhan not being able to sleep well? Predictable.

 

Him wanting to wake up earlier than the others to have some alone time with Minseok, at least for today? Also predictable.

 

Minseok continues his routine of trying to wake the members up, this time tagging Luhan along with him for back-up. Luhan pretends to help and eventually convinces him to stop trying. Today’s not going to be a busy day, anyway. Maybe they can all sleep in? They do deserve some rest. Besides, their manager’s not even hounding them to wake up given that there’s only at least 10 minutes before their usual rising time.

 

They both go out for some coffee and perhaps breakfast as well.

 

“So…” they both say at pretty much the same moment.

 

This isn’t awkward at all.

 

Minseok lets Luhan speak up. He doesn’t really have anything to say. He just wanted to fill up the silence.

 

“Uhh… yesterday. I used your camera. I’m sorry for not telling you.”

 

It’s difficult, trying to speak to Minseok when he’s already said what he has to say yesterday, in front of that camera.

 

“Yeah, I figured. You left it on my bed, though.”

 

Of course he’s going to comment on that.

 

“I’m sorry. I… I just… never mind.”

 

Luhan gave up on trying to explain. What’s there to say, really? I’m sorry I just left it there so you can see it because I recorded a video for you to see?

 

Nope. It’s better to stay quiet and wait for Minseok’s reaction.

 

“No biggie. Jongdae snatched it up from my bed even before I got to it so it wasn’t much of a nuisance there.”

 

Oh. Jongdae took it.

 

Wait.

 

OH.

 

OH.

 

“So you didn’t… you haven’t… I mean, oh. Jongdae took it…”

 

“Yeah, he just mumbled something about having to film Yixing dancing again, I think. Then he left not even bothering to ask if I wouldn’t mind or anything.” Minseok said nonchalantly.

 

“Not that you would, of course.”

 

This shouldn’t be awkward at all.

 

“I don’t, really. It’s just that I was planning to upload my photos to my computer last night but I didn’t have the chance to.”

 

He actually pouted at the thought of missing the opportunity to organize his files.

 

“Yeah, that’s too bad…”

 

Luhan’s not paying attention anymore. He’s still stuck processing the information about Minseok not being able to watch his video.

 

“Listen, can I borrow it again once Jongdae returns it to you?”

 

It’s probably better to delete the video now. It was a bad idea. Minseok should not see it. Luhan shouldn’t have recorded it. It would be better this way.

 

“Hm?” Minseok tilted his head in confusion. “I guess so… Okay, just set it back properly this time.”

 

“I swear I will.”

 

This is for the best. Having words left unspoken didn’t kill anyone, did it?

 

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

 

This is how our ending begins. The boys get back to their dorm, several cups of coffee and bags of bread in tow. They’re greeted by their members, some still half-asleep, some fully awakened by the aroma of the rations they brought.

 

A still half-asleep-but-not-really Jongdae hands over Minseok’s camera to him after breakfast has been served.

 

“Oh, just give it to Luhan. I think he needs it.” He said, guiding Jongdae to Luhan’s general direction.

 

Luhan gets a hold of Minseok’s camera and he has suddenly satisfied his appetite.

 

“Guys! We don’t have a lot to do today but we’re expected to be at the rehearsal studio in about an hour.” Junmyeon calls out to all of them.

 

 No time for breakfast now. He grabbed his cup of coffee and went straight to his room.

 

This is now an urgent matter. They have to leave in less than an hour and he doesn’t want to sacrifice his shower time. He has to erase all traces of his stupidity as quick as possible.

 

It doesn’t really help that Jongdae used it to film Yixing, as per the dancer’s request. Filming Yixing practicing his dance routines takes up a lot of time and in this case, space.

 

Luhan is anxiously flipping through pages and pages of the camera’s thumbnail display. Yixing really outdid himself last night. Normally Luhan would be proud of him but this time it’s just a hassle.

 

He finally gets a glimpse of one familiar thumbnail, his own. He gives the left arrow key a few more presses to get to it but the selection highlight lands on the thumbnail next to it. He could have just pressed the key again to finally select his video but he finds himself fixated on the one beside it.

 

It’s not one of Yixing’s videos, the background is different… but familiar. He looks at the preview for his video again, making sense of the setting. It’s Minseok’s room.

 

That’s odd. Maybe I’ve accidentally hit the record button again?

 

That’s stupid. The battery would have died down, Luhan.

 

He stares at the display screen for a while. Then, with his fingers trembling, he decides to play the clip.

 

Minseok’s voice fills the air in Luhan’s room. Luhan could not make sense of what he’s saying. He just gaped at the screen during the whole video.

 

“We’re both so, so stupid…”

 

These were the only words that Luhan got out of the clip before it ended.

 

What is happening? What. How.

 

WHAT.

 

Luhan clicked the play button again, eyes staring intently onto the screen; his full focus is on the video.

 

The tiny Minseok on the screen was smiling awkwardly at the camera.

 

 “I lied. Well, I probably will. No, actually I probably would have lied by the time you’re watching this.”

 

Minseok grazed his hand over his nape – a nervous habit.

 

“I would have told you that Jongdae took my camera from me without so much of an explanation. Or maybe I’ll make up some other lame excuse to make you believe that I haven’t gotten hold of this camera ever since you used it and left it on my bed.”

 

Luhan placed the camera on top of his desk, positive that he would drop it at some point while watching the clip.

 

“I’m sorry for lying but the truth is, as you may well know by now, I’ve watched your video. Oh, I can’t tell you how much I’ve watched it. I… I guess I wanted to memorize it? I wanted to memorize your expressions, your cute nervous sighs. That little laugh you did when you realize you’ve been rambling.”

 

Luhan had to laugh at that bit.

 

“But I guess I’m rambling now, too.”

 

Luhan almost choked on his coffee at this part.

 

“Okay, just… I’ll… Uhh… wow, this is kind of hard. Right? I mean… you see, Luhan, I think the question’s not ‘When did we stop being friends?’ because as you’ve said, we still do things best friends normally do. I think the question you should’ve asked is ‘When did we stop being just friends? When did we become more?’”

 

The Minseok on camera adjusted the angle, making the frame zoom in on him.

 

“I love you too, Luhan. I’m not even going to explain how it happened. I just knew. I know. However, from the point I realized that I do, I didn’t think that we stopped being friends. We still are. It’s just that I started seeing you with more interest in my eyes. Everything about you was better; you’ve become a little more iridescent, a bit more beautiful and a lot more than a friend to me.”

 

Luhan had to stop himself from replaying that part over and over.

 

“Thank you for letting me know that you love me and for loving me in its own merit. I love you so much that sometimes it hurts, too. But I don’t even care because at least the times that I am with you I could not be happier. It’s funny how we can talk about a lot of things but we can’t even tell each other this.”

 

Luhan will most likely recognize the next words Minseok’s about to say now.

 

“…and I know you’re going to watch this because you’ll probably want to take this camera back to delete that video because you’re stupid thinking maybe that was a bad idea and here I am filming this message instead of running to you now but I’m a bit nervous and I don’t know what I’ll do… I just… God, we’re both so, so stupid.”

 

Minseok laughs a little and gives the camera one last uncertain smile before stopping the video.

 

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

 

This is how our story ends. Minseok enters Luhan’s room. He has been waiting outside the door, listening. It was all so predictable to him, so predictable yet so intimidating for him.

 

He’s looking at Luhan, giving him that signature crooked smile of his. Luhan looks up at him, returning his smile… and are those tears b in his eyes?

 

“So… I heard you lied.” Luhad said, jokingly.

 

Minseok doesn’t say anything. He reaches for Luhan’s hand, tracing his fingers through Luhan’s palm before intertwining them with Luhan’s.

 

“I can’t believe you just… You’re so… I don’t even know what to do with you.”

 

Luhan can’t find the right words yet again.

 

Minseok smiles as he closes the gap between them.

 

“You’re just so…” he starts saying – but he doesn’t get to end his sentence because Luhan’s lips are now on his and he can’t even remember what he was supposed to say because they are just so very sweet and they’re all he can think about right now.

 

“Stupid, I know.” Luhan finishes the sentence for him in a whisper. “And I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” says Minseok before leaning onto Luhan again to capture his lips.

 

“Let’s stop being stupid from now own,” he ends.