Of Insecurities & Attachment

Chasing Consciousness
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A.N: There are several Colleges within a University. Ex. College of music, College of Exercise and Nutrition.

               Hayden stood outside of the College of Music’s building kicking stones along the grass. He couldn’t accompany Taeyeon to this class so he reluctantly remained outside. It had been an entire two weeks since he first met Taeyeon. That’s fourteen days he spent with her and he couldn’t be any more comfortable. He could see the progression in her. She no longer walked with weary eyes or heavy steps but with emotion in her eyes and places to go. It was progression never less and he wasn’t going to push her to quicken her recovery. There was no deadline or due date, just another day to look forward to.

               He started seeing students walk out of class and straightened up his posture. He was never in favor for slouched shoulders or hunched backs. Taeyeon was nowhere to be seen and he felt disappointed. She was usually the first of the students to walk out of the building. His eyes pondered around but his line of vision was cut short when he saw a girl wearing too little and standing too close for comfort.

               “May I help you?” Hayden took a step back and asked.

               “I’m Rebecca.” She took a step closer and extended her hand out.

               “Rebecca? Are you a foreigner?” He politely ignored the handshake and sneakily avoided his own introduction.

               “I am in fact. Are you one as well? I don’t see a lot of blond Asians around here.” She continued to pry.

               “Oppa!” His attention was cut short when a familiar voice rang through his ears. “There you are!” He habitually smiled but flinched a little inside when he felt her arms circle his right.

               “Hi.” His words bunched up in his throat and a measly greeting was all he could escape from his lips.

               “Oh. Hello.” Taeyeon bow ever so slightly to the girl she noticed a few feet away.

               “Hello, Taeyeon-shii.” She mentally giggled when she saw a glare from Rebecca when she spoke.

               “You know me?” Taeyeon asked as Hayden remained mum.

               “Yes, you’re quite famous within the College of Music.”

               “I see. Well it was nice meeting you.” Taeyeon cut their conversation short. “We have to be somewhere.” She bowed and turned Hayden away.

               Hayden couldn’t even give the other girl a proper bow as Taeyeon dragged him somewhere away, far away. He was surprised at the speed that Taeyeon was dragging him with. A grin formed on his lips. Is she jealous? He couldn’t suppress his amusement and laughed a hearty laugh. It was enough to stop Taeyeon in her tracks and make her turn around to meet his eyes.

               “What’s so funny?!” Taeyeon didn’t seem pleased.

               “You were just jealous now, weren’t you?” He smiled teasingly.

               “N-no I wasn’t!” She was taken aback. I wasn’t, was I?

               “Then why did you wrap your arms around my right arm and call me Oppa?” He continued.

               “I… I just wanted to okay?! It’s called being comfortable!”

               Hayden could see the reddening of her cheeks and couldn’t resist pinching them. “You’re really cute you know that?” He pinched her right cheek which formed a dimple when she smiled radiantly. “You can call me Oppa as much as you like.”

               “R-really?” Her blush disappeared and was replaced with a shocked expression.

               “Just explain to me why the sudden leap of comfort with me.”

               Taeyeon looked at him and she too, didn’t know why. The amount of comfort with him didn’t seem to change in her eyes. She still saw him as the same warm and fuzzy man that she let into her house two weeks ago or did she? That question was simple but why did she find it so hard to answer? Her eyes stared straight into his and that warmth she felt since the beginning, spread throughout her body. Taeyeon had a slight idea but she didn’t want to acknowledge until she was sure.

               “I don’t know, honestly.” She answered with the only thing she could come up with.

               Hayden looked at her and knew she was speaking the truth. He could see the uncertainty and confusion that clouded her usually clear eyes. They always mirrored her emotions like they were out for show but he couldn’t see it this time.

               “That’s fine. You can still call me Oppa. I like it.” Hayden smiled. It was one of the things he wanted to experience since he transformed into a man. “Let’s see what we can do today.” He tapped his chin.

               “Again?” Taeyeon sighed in so much exhaustion.

               Hayden had refused to let her go home after classes and forbid her to stay in the house passed a certain hour during the weekend. It was something about living life to the fullest while still young. She’d very much rather spend her days inside listening to music or on the couch watching dramas but Hayden was the complete opposite. He couldn’t stand staying in one sitting for more than an hour. She could have easily ignored his requests of going out together and insist on staying home but she found herself unable to oppose or disregard his desires.

               “Of course we are!” Hayden grabbed her left hand and took her towards a placed he wanted to visit.

               Taeyeon looked at where his hand was and smiled along. “Why can’t you let me rest for a day?!”

               “You’ve rested plenty before you met me!”

 

               “I can’t believe you brought me here.” Taeyeon seemed the least bit excited.

               “Awhh come on! It’s a classic!” Hayden cheered.

               “An amusement park?!” She questioned. “And this specific one?!” She continued as they step foot into the attraction her parents threw her twenty-first at.

               Hayden wanted to test the waters. He wanted to see how Taeyeon would react to his choice of entertainment today. Amazingly Taeyeon remained sane and even normal. He couldn’t see any lingering attachment in her body language or wavering emotions in her words. It was as if none of this fazed her, which it didn’t. Taeyeon found herself feeling nothing, absolutely nothing. It amazed her as well. She wasn’t sure if it was because she hasn’t seen the nostalgic spots she spent with her parents or if she was finally moving on. So she continued to walk, taking it all in with a grain of salt.

               They rode everything Hayden wanted to go on. Taeyeon felt like a mother being dragged around by her five year old son all around the park. She was exhausted to say the least. Her mind was a mess and barely had time to recuperate from the last ride before she was pulled, sometimes carried, onto the next one. After they rode every single ride available in the attraction, she was able to sit and relax but her tranquility was cut short once again when she heard the voice of the man she couldn’t say no to.

               “Tae! Let’s go to that haunted house they just opened fifteen minutes ago!” He asked, more like pleaded.

               “Give me a few minutes to breathe, please.” She begged. “How are you not tired from all those rides?”

               Hayden didn’t know what to say. Angels never felt physically exhausted. Mentally, yes but never physically. He spoke the first thing that came to his mind. “I don’t feel tired when I’m with you

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2NE1Soshi
I have a surprise for you lovelies when SNSD reveals their MV. (; ~ Dory

Comments

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eightaenine #1
Chapter 8: OH SHOOT I LOVE YOU AUTHOR OMG BLESS YOU FOR MAKING A SEQUEL YES
Va_asianloverz
#2
Chapter 6: it is a nice chapter
please write more
chickensoshi
#3
Chapter 6: LMFAO THE LAST PART HAHAHAHAHA

hyotae reunion <33
this was a beautiful fic, dear author :3
eightaenine #4
Chapter 6: OH MY GAHHH THE ENDING ;o;
Taeyeon and Hyoyeon/Hayden reunited in Heaven sadsfshkl glad they meet one another again! Sigh. Another beautiful masterpiece by my fave author. Thanks for sharing this! Looking forward for more from you, Dory :) Peace out!
LOVEBMOUNIER #5
Chapter 6: YOU UPDATED?!?!?! IT'S DONEE?!?!?! OH THE FEELS
fungi1223
#6
Maybe because Hayden feels he is responsible for the death of his first love and he is still not over the fact that his first love didn't make it to heaven like he did.
ohyouknow #7
Chapter 7: Man you're such a tease! lol
LOL I actually thought they were going to make love.
Hmmm I wonder why? Maybe because he's already dead so he can't feel the love? idk.
infiknight_hyohyuk #8
Chapter 7: Hayden's first love was taeyeon's mom?