10; Brother.
The Joys and Sorrows of Our Love
**Jaemin's POV**
It was as if time have slowed down, everything seems to be in slow motion. Kris was crouching down in front of me, his lips were moving but I couldn't hear a single word he was saying. My eyes flickered down to the hand he had around my arm. Funny, I can't feel his grip at all.
My eyes travelled to D.O, who was standing behind Kris with an arm on him shoulder. His brows were scrunched together and his lips were moving too. But the thing was, I couldn't hear anything.
He pulled Kris away from me and I noticed that there was a pink mark on my arm, the shape of Kris' hand. I traced over the scars on my wrist which caught my eyes. When did I get this?
Lifting my head up, I saw that Kris was yelling at D.O, a hand running through his hair. He shot a glance at me before sinking down onto the other couch.
D.O was kneeling down in front of me, his hand gently the back of my head. He was speaking but I couldn't hear a thing so I stared at his lips instead. I gave up when I realised that his lips were moving too fast for me to decipher whatever he was saying.
When I glanced into his eyes once more, he had already finished his speech and he gave me a small smile while patting my head.
I feel like opening my mouth to ask them what's wrong and why were they acting this way but every time I try to speak, the words get trapped in my throat. Each time I try to return back the smile tossed at me, it was if there were invisible strings attached to the corner of my lips, pulling it down to a thin and firm line.
My brain told me to wrap my arms around Kris' neck to give him a hug whenever he was frowning but my body wasn't reacting the way it should be. I felt as if I have no control over my limbs. No matter how hard I try, it doesn't move according to my command. So that's why I stay still most of the time.
The times when I'm able to think properly is those periods of time which I refer as my "rational side". Those are times when the real me is controlling my mind. But there are times when my "irrational side" will rule me. When they do, all I feel is pain and all that I can hear and see is the scene where Kai hurled those hurtful words at me.
Even during the times where my "rational side" ruled my mind, I didn't have full control over my body. My mind was free from it but not my body. Now that I can finally think straight, I realised that there wasn't a time my "irrational side" was gone completely.
Let me find the right way to describe the situation I'm in right now. I'm in a constant battle with myself, fighting for control of my mind. The "irrational side" of me will return whenever I'm alone, sometimes during the night. So they label patients like me to be suffering from 'depression'?
Whatever it is, I just want to break out of this illness that's trapping me.
I glanced at Kris who had his elbows planted on his knees, his head buried in his large hands. D.O was nowhere to be seen, maybe he left while I was having this inner battle with my mind. It was hard - fighting for control over my mind. I had to withstand going through that scene again. There were times when I couldn't take it and my "irrational side" would take charge again.
I fight with all my might to croak out Kris' name. It was hard but I did it. Kris looked up instantly. He was gazing straight into my eyes, saying something I couldn't hear again. And this time round, I fought over the ability to hear.
"-min, are you okay? What is it that you want to tell me, hmm?" He was right beside me now, a hand cupping my left cheek and it gently with his thumb.
"Help me."
Kris blinked before giving me a firm nod. In a blink of an eye, my "irrational side" was back in control again.
**End of Jaemin's POV**
**Kris' POV**
I swear I saw the look in her eyes, it was as though Jaemin was back. But it was gone in the next second. I glanced into her eyes, it was vacant, again.
Pressing my lips into a thin line, Jaemin's voice echoed in my mind.
"Help me."
That's it, I'm taking her back to the hospital. I doubt it's as simple as depression anymore. I slipped my arm under her knees and her back, scooping her up from the couch effortlessly.
"I'm bringing you back to the hospital, Jaemin. I'm going to help you, okay?" I assured her and kissed her temple.
~~
After using up all my energy to explain my observations to the doctor, he glanced at Jaemin uncertainly.
He gave me a small nod after a second or two. "If you insist, we will keep her in the hospital and arrange for a mental evaluation for her."
I thanked him politely, trying to ignore how reluctant he sound. He was the one who diagnosed Jaemin with depression the other time. So if the results of the evaluation comes out and proves that it's something more serious that depression, that would pose as a question of his professionalism.
I went to the counter to take care of the necessary procedures and Jaemin was transferred to a ward in the mental health building in the hospital. I sent a message to D.O, informing him about the situation.
After requesting for an extra set of blanket and pillow, I made myself comfortable on the couch. With a glance at Jaemin to make sure that she was asleep, I fell asleep shortly after.
~~
**End of Kris' POV**
**Author's POV**
The sound of feet shuffling woke Kris up from his sleep. Blinking to get used to the bright lights shining down on him, he sat up straight and noticed that D.O was seated on the chair beside Jaemin's bed, facing him.
His eyes flickered to the empty bed and D.O noticed that immediately. "They have taken her for the first part of the mental evaluation so there's no need to worry."
He nodded, letting out a sigh unconsciously.
"I knew something wasn't right about her, it wasn't just depression. I know clearly how a depression patient would act, my sister suffered from depression back then." D.O trailed off.
"What do you think she's really suffering from?" Kris asked. That question sounded absurd but he thought that maybe D.O might have a rough idea.
To his disappointment, D.O shrugged. "In my opinion, I guess she's suffering from split personalities. There were times when I could see the old glint in her eyes but it will soon be replaced by a vacant one. But either way, she will be free from it some day, the doctors here will help her."
Kris nodded although he was still doubting the capability of the doctors in this hospital. Out of nowhere, he remembered that they were in the hospital ran by Kai's father.
"Do you have any idea what's going on with Kai right now? I only know he's in England and he's planning to take over the hospital?" Kris ended with a hint of confusion.
D.O nodded. "Yeah, you are right. He's in England to finish off his high school and university to prepare him to take over the hospital."
Kris snickered mentally. *Great, that means he won't be back in Korea until 3 years later.*
The conversation between D.O and Kris was interrupted when Jaemin came walking into the ward, accompanied by a nurse. She wasn't mentally unstable - she wouldn't go round attacking people so she didn't need to have any kind of restrains on her.
"Hey there, you are back." D.O ruffled her hair after she had settled down on the bed. Kris got up from the couch hastily and went out of the ward when his phone started vibrating in his pocket.
Once he was out of the hospital, he answered the call and pressed his phone against his ears.
"Hey, what's up, Lay?"
"The teachers are asking about Jaemin's absence from school, Kris." Kris knew that this would happen sooner or later but right now, he was more worried about how listless Lay sound.
"Don't worry about that, I will make a trip down to the school someday soon and take care of it." Kris said. "Where are you now, Lay? Are you free to meet up for a drink?" He added on.
"A-a drink? Don't you have to, erm, keep an eye on Jaemin?" Lay stuttered. Kris snorted. "D.O is with her so it's fine. I will see you at the cafe near your school in 15." He hung up without waiting for Lay's response.
Kris was determined to get an explanation from Lay and he wasn't going to allow him to escape from him anymore.
***
"Zhang Yixing, spit it out, I know something is wrong. I can tell just by looking at you." Kris tapped on the side of his cup of iced latte impatiently.
Lay let out an exasperated sigh. He was already prepared for this but he wasn't quite ready to mention it to anyone yet.
"Yes, something is really wrong, Kris. But I'm not ready to say it all out yet. It's not an excuse and I'm not escaping from it. It's just that... I need time. To get used to it. So that it won't hurt that much when I mention it." Lay said softly while staring at his cup.
Scrunching his brows, Kris nodded. "Fine, we will talk when you are ready. Just remember that we are always here for you, alright?"
Lay smiled and nodded, touched by his words.
***
"There's no way I'm allowing you guys to tutor her. I mean, all of you are already so busy coping with all the subjects you have on hand. Tutoring her will only add onto your load." Kris said tiredly.
"We will be able to cope with the stuffs we have on hand, Kris. Besides, tutoring her will not only help her, but us too. If we are able to tutor her, that means we already mastered that particular subject. And it's not as if only one of us will be in charge of all the subjects. We are sharing the load among us so you don't have to worry that much." D.O countered back and the rest of them nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, I will be in charge of Science." Baekhyun said.
"I'm taking Geography." Chanyeol beamed.
"History." D.O stated simply.
"I'm-" Kris didn't even allow Lay to finish his sentence. "No, Lay, you are not counted in this."
Lay sighed in defeat. "Fine. But I'm coming over once in a while to study with her."
"Fair enough."
"Luhan can replace Lay then. His mathematics is as good as Lay's." Baekhyun suggested. Kris nodded. "Have you guys seen Luhan around?
Chanyeol shook his head. "I heard that he was busy with some family matters but I'm not that sure. He isn't picking up his phone either." Kris let out an exasperated sigh. Something seems to be up with Lay and Luhan but he wasn't aware of what it was. Kris was like an elder brother to them, keeping an eye over them and talking to them whenever they need someone to talk to. It bothered him that they were troubled but he couldn't do anything to help them at all.
Kris brushed his hand through his hair while letting out a sigh. *At least the school is settled, for now.* Kris went down to Jaemin's school earlier on to explain her current situation.
They were understanding, sort of. But the thing was that Jaemin still had to sit for the final exams 3 months later. She wouldn't be able to attend school so that means that someone had to tutor her.
Kris was vexed. It's her last year in high school and the grades she gets for the final exam will decide which university she's eligible for. Failing the final exams is definitely a big no. So he had to find someone who's willing to tutor her. Although he wasn't sure that she will take in whatever she's taught, he had to try. He mentioned it to the guys and that was how it led to them volunteering to tutor her.
He was thankful but at the same time he felt like he was troubling them just because of the promise he made with Jaemin's mother to take care of her. Kris quickly shoved that thought aside, thinking that it's be better if Jaemin had more company. *Just get better soon, Jaemin* Kris thought as he glanced at Chanyeol who was fooling around in front of Jaemin but there wasn't any reaction from her.
So sorry for the super late update omggg.
I actually had this chapter typed out in my iPod since a few weeks ago but I didn't have time to proof read it so it wasn't uploaded T.T
So sorry for the frequent change of POVs! Hope it isn't too confusing hehe.
Enjoy and don't forget to drop a comment behind!
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