His head was spinning. Lu Han held onto Minseok, leaning his head against his shoulder, breathing in deeply as he regained control over his limbs. The thing with Yixing just minutes ago didn't help one bit; in fact, it made his headache worse. That eye contact, the tangible tension that Lu Han felt even across the room, the way she dance oh my fu--

"I'm going to die," he slurred. Minseok shook when he laughed, and Lu Han groaned.

"Want me to take you home?"

"Nah," Lu Han replied. The sudden action of straightening up got him stumbling, a little. Minseok held onto his arm in haste ("Woah, there,"). "Need to--Yixing, home,"

"Urgh," Lu Han said, still dizzy. His eyes blurred a little, his consciousness faltering. The only thing really making him stand up at the moment was the promise of bringing Yixing home. He wasn't even drunk enough, just dizzy and lightheaded, probably because of the crowd and the noise and just about everything. He just needed water.

So Lu Han shook Minseok off with a convincing, "I'm okay, really," and headed off to where he thought the kitchen was. Along the way he'd been pushed and shoved and tripped, which didn't help his headache at all, but he managed to arrive in the kitchen in one piece. There was a couple making out by the refrigerator, and Lu Han bypassed them with ease, not even gracing them with his attention.

Lu Han drank the nearest cup of water he could find with vigor. Almost immediately he felt better, his head clearing up. He filled it up again. He put the cup to his lips, but not before noticing a familiar silhouette through the tiny kitchen window. His nerves started, pushing him. In his haste he'd left the cup of water. Chilly summer wind greeted him once he got out, and with it came the pungent smell of something nasty, like vomit.

And then there against the wall of the house stood Jongin, a crouched Yixing at his feet, her head between her knees. In an instant all intoxication seemed to render useless, and Lu Han propelled forward, worry constricting his parched throat.

There was something wrong with Yixing.

Jongin looked guilty when he saw Lu Han approach. "Hyung, noona is..."

"What happened?" Lu Han crouched next to her, placing a hand over her head. She was trembling, heaving deep breaths as if she couldn't breathe. "Yixing, Xing? Xing, are you okay?"

"She wanted water," Jongin explained. His voice shook with emotion, and when Lu Han looked up, he saw guilt and panic in his large shocked eyes. "I gave her a cup, but I didn't know it was alcohol. And then she became dizzy, wanted fresh air, vomited--"

Lu Han had stopped listening at the mention of 'alcohol'. Yixing's alcohol tolerance was nonexistent. She simply couldn't drink, not that she didn't want to. Last time she got drunk it was because of a half glass of cheap soju at a friend's birthday party, and she'd turned pink. Pink everywhere. And she couldn't stand up, legs too wobbly and head too heavy.

"Yixing," Lu Han murmured, maneuvering her arm to wrap around his shoulders. Yixing had her eyes closed when Lu Han got to see her face. To Jongin he asked, "How much did she drink?"

Lu Han heard the hesitation as Jongin answered, "A whole glass,"

"I'm okay," Yixing croaked, but she was still crouching, still had her eyes shut. She wasn't okay in any way. "I'm really okay,"

Lu Han would've hit her in the head for being so stubborn even during this time if she weren't so drunk. Instead he let Yixing lean against him as he helped her up, her arm around his shoulders, his hand secure around her thin waist.

"I could drive you home," Jongin told him firmly. He wasn't taking no for an answer, already gone inside the house even before Lu Han could process what he meant and open his mouth to reply.

Lu Han maneuvered a still barely conscious Yixing farther from the house. The land curved down into a slope from the backyard, leading to the lit and empty street. Lu Han helped Yixing down it with difficulty, but they managed. Yixing was warm against the night's chill, pressed against his body as they sat on the sidewalk waiting for Jongin. The bass from the house rattled Lu Han's insides with every beat. But Yixing grounded him, reminded him of where he was, what he was doing, who he was with. Lu Han could smell the faint scent of shampoo. Yixing's breathing was normal, but deep, her head cradled on Lu Han's shoulder, her hands clutched around his arm.

The peace didn't last long; then came Jongin's car, headlights so bright it made Lu Han curse under his breath. Yixing heard, because she frowned, and Lu Han knew if it weren't for the alcohol she would've reprimanded him about it. The thought made him smile in amusement.

In the car Yixing slept against Lu Han's side once again. Lu Han had an arm around her, keeping her in place, providing her warmth. Jongin looked at them from the rearview mirror once in awhile, which on normal occasions would've made Lu Han conscious and irritable, but right then nothing else mattered.

He just wanted to take her home safely.

Accidentally drank alcohol, Lu Han later explained to Grandma Zhang. I'm sorry for not keeping an eye on her, I really am, he also said. Yixing opened her eyes long enough to slur, "Not your fault,” before she collapsed on the sofa. Jongin also apologized, looking like he meant it. Grandma Zhang just smiled at the both of them.

"My granddaughter's lucky to have you boys, thank you,"

Jongin suggested he'd take Lu Han home as well. Lu Han initially thought of declining the offer, more because they were both men (and the thought of someone else driving him home wounded Lu Han's damaged man pride already), than actual dislike towards Jongin. He agreed because he kind of liked Jongin, liked his teenage awkwardness the most. Lu Han knew Yixing liked him as well. Yixing wouldn't let any other guy touch her like that while dancing, only Jongin.

"Do you like Yixing?" Lu Han asked, out of the blue, genuinely curious. He was sure of the answer even before Jongin opened his mouth to speak.

The reaction was immediate. He stuttered, had a bunch of false starts: "I--what--she," but eventually he nodded, biting his lower lip. The lights outside showed his red face. Lu Han hummed in amusement.

It wasn't the least bit surprising; everybody liked Yixing, one way or another. Take Sehun, for example. And, Lu Han thought ruefully, Kris as well.

Jongin didn't speak for awhile. Lu Han was not in the mood to bully him any further, too tired from the party. He just gazed absently outside the window, and would have almost fallen asleep if Jongin hadn't asked, "How about you, hyung?" and it was such a sudden and personal question that for a second Lu Han felt irritation bubbling inside him. "Do you like Yixing-noona?" But the sensation passed as fast as it had appeared. The question was innocent, totally free of any hidden intention.

There was no reason to lie anymore. Before, he'd laughed at these questions, thinking they were silly and impossible, but before he'd also turned a blind eye whenever Kris and Yixing held hands in front of him, or how, whenever Yixing leaned in too close to whisper in his ear, he'd forgotten how to breathe properly.

"Yeah," he replied with a wistful smile, wanting so bad for both everyone and no one to know. "I kind of do,"

Jongin replied with a knowing smile, like he'd been expecting it, like he'd known it all along.
 

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

Lu Han knocked on the door with fervor, brows furrowed. That morning he'd woken up a little too early for someone who had a massive hangover. The perpetrator was none other than a certain Oh Sehun-- Sehun who kept calling nonstop, Lu Han’s phone vibrating under his head. He was ready to get angry at the first sight of the said teen, so when the door opened to reveal an equally irate looking Yixing, his voice kind of died and all steam left his system.

She looked exactly how he felt just a few seconds ago, except Yixing looked angrier. "Kr--oh, Lu Han," She seemed to be shocked to see him as well, but was more shocking for Lu Han was the fact that she was in Sehun's house. Waiting for Kris.

His chest squeezed at the thought.

"What are you doing here?" asked Yixing confusedly.

"Sehun called me--"

"I didn't tell you to come, though!" came Sehun's panicked voice from inside. He showed up behind Yixing to look at Lu Han with guilt in his eyes. He mouthed the next words, 'Kris-hyung didn't come home--'

But not without Yixing cutting him off unknowingly, "Have you seen Kris?"

Lu Han shook his head. Sehun had disappeared inside the house with a scared whine. That explained things, a little; an irate Yixing was not so much scary as she was demanding. Yixing was not a violent person, but she showed her anger in her complete change of personality, from afloat to a complete tyrant. Sehun was probably scared and shocked to find no one in his brother's room, called Lu Han for help, and, at not receiving any reply, called Yixing instead.

Only because he didn't have a choice.

Yixing gave an irritated sigh. "Come in, then. Might as well help us prepare breakfast,"

In the kitchen Kyungseol was wearing an apron. She didn't see Lu Han walk in, too busy frying rice with experienced hands. "Was that Kris-oppa?" she asked, and then, "Oh, Lu Han-oppa!" once she turned around to see the newcomer.

Lu Han gave a sheepish smile. "Hi. What are you doing here?"

Kyungseol grinned with her heart shaped mouth. "Yixing needed help with the kids--"

"Ya!" came Sehun's insulted yell.

"--so I came here to cook them breakfast,"

"Morning," Yutao mumbled all of a sudden. Lu Han turned to see a newly awoken Yutao in her pajamas, scratching her eyes and yawning. "Where's Kris-oppa?"

"Go wash up, Tao, so we can eat breakfast already," Yixing ignored her question.

Yutao, with her still sleep induced brain, merely nodded and did as she was told. Yixing angrily typed on her phone, probably mass texting questions about Kris's whereabouts.

"So, where is Kris?" Lu Han sidled up to Kyungseol, the calmer of the two. Lowering his voice so Yixing couldn't hear, he continued, "Didn't he come home last night?"

Kyungseol shook her head. "I don't know where he is, but Sehun said his brother went out again after he left them here. He woke up with only the two of them in the house. No sign of Kris-oppa," She looked to where Yixing and Sehun were preparing the plates by the dining table. Kyungseol continued, "Unnie's mad because Sehun slept on the couch waiting for him to come home. She's annoyed Kris was so careless,"

Well, of course she'd be annoyed. Lu Han thought he'd seen jealousy in Yixing awhile ago when she asked if he'd seen him, angry that Kris went home with someone that wasn't her. But it wasn't jealousy, not at all. It was just protective irritation, anger that came to be only because Sehun and Yutao were concerned. Anger because they'd been left alone.

When Kris eventually arrived they were all in the kitchen finishing up the cleaning after the breakfast Kyungseol had prepared. It was Lu Han who saw him enter first, but Kris wasn't looking at him, having already zeroed in on Yixing who was saying, "--Sehun could you pass the, yeah, that. Thanks," as she helped clear the table.

Yixing saw him later than the others. When, finally, she caught sight of the tall teen standing awkwardly by the entrance, Lu Han felt the tension rise and pulsate with every inhale he did, every air he exhaled. Everything stopped; they waited, with held breaths, for something to happen. Like Yixing demanding, or Kris fleeing--just anything, really. Lu Han knew Yixing too well like the back of his hand, and right now it was like he could see the gears turning in Yixing's head, realigning themselves, fitting into place. The anger dissipated, spread out, flew away with the tense air. In its place remained passiveness, Yixing's defense mechanism, which, in Lu Han's opinion, was more sinister than her anger.

"Have you eaten?" she asked casually, as if she weren't just angry at the newcomer half an hour ago. "Do you want breakfast?"

Kris faltered. Suspicious, he looked over to his brother. But Sehun wasn't planning on staying; he'd gulped a really loud and obvious gulp, and went away to hide in his room. It was his way of saying, 'good luck Kris-hyung.' Even Kyungseol knew a signal when she saw one. She ushered Yutao into a room quietly, not once showing she acknowledged Kris's presence. Which left Lu Han, who wasn't scared of Yixing one bit, and Kris, who still stood where he was, as if there were mines everywhere and a wrong step could detonate all of them.

Eventually he nodded stiffly.

Yixing took out a plate. She got the utensils and arranged them beside it. She also took out a glass and filled it with water. Everything was prepared for him in just a few seconds, but those seconds were loaded with tangible tension, so thick Lu Han could feel it enter his system.

And then, to Lu Han's surprise, Yixing just quietly walked away from the scene, but not until Kris held onto her arm. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before, voice low:

"Yixing. Could--could we talk?"

Lu Han took this his cue to leave. He passed them both as he walked out in haste, having witnessed something he probably shouldn't had. It was too late to rewind what had happened; Kris's hopeful voice, Yixing's pained but determined look as she said, placing a hand on Kris's hand on her arm to remove it, "Sure, Kris,"

Lu Han reached Sehun's room, closed the door, and slid down to the floor where he stayed, head on his knees, closing off from the world.

"Hyung?" Sehun asked worriedly. Lu Han ignored him, too caught up in his feelings to formulate a decent reply.
 

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

The three of them were the best of friends.

Contrary to what majority believed, Lu Han and Yixing weren't really the best of friends since forever--such a big word, really, an overstatement when in reality it was Yixing and Kris who went a long way. Lu Han and Yixing met when he was in middle school and she was a tiny grade schooler. Kris once told Lu Han that Yixing always had pigtails on. Yixing was almost always with Kris, whom, at that time, was Lu Han's classmate when he had first transferred. They became close; same nationality and all, and it was inevitable that Lu Han and Yixing met, Kris introducing them, "Lu Han, this is Yixing. Yixing, Lu Han." and Yixing had said, "Nice to meet you, Lu Han-oppa,"

That was one of the few times she'd called him oppa.

Halfway through Lu Han and Kris's high school saw a change in Yixing, a normal thing everyone had to go through: puberty. Yixing was 15, was taller and slimmer, baby fat from her cheeks reforming to cling to her hips and thighs. But Lu Han didn't see her as anything. At least, not yet.

Yixing had never been the center of attention in middle school, but for some reason halfway through her first year in high school, unpopular Yixing suddenly became the speak of the boys her age. Yixing paid them no heed. Either that, or she was just totally oblivious about everything. And maybe Lu Han and Kris had something to do with that as well. No boy had ever approached her knowing she was close with both Kris and Lu Han, and whenever they did, they did it in the confinements of the classroom. Lu Han had nothing to worry about at that time. Boys just didn't stand a chance.

And that was what he believed in for awhile. Except in his last year of high school something had shifted.

It was expected that they'd get together eventually, Kris and Yixing. Kris indulged Yixing more than he indulged Sehun. Plus, Yixing loved teasing Kris, laugh at him and call him names but hold onto his arm for support in the end. It had been normal to see them so clingy that Lu Han thought nothing of it initially, because Yixing was always like that to both of them. Only until he saw them together one day, hand in hand, that he realised that maybe they weren't just really good friends after all. Later on Kris had said, "Help me confess to Yixing," in his most awkward voice, as if asking Lu Han had taken him every little atom of courage.

It was also only normal for Lu Han to feel betrayed at first, of course, because who wouldn't? Your two best friends are planning leave you alone and single, make lovey-dovey faces right in front of you as if you weren't even there. And for awhile Lu Han was angry; angry because of how unfair it was, not really knowing why it was unfair just that everything was, regardless of reason. He despised the idea of them holding hands, of them--hell, making out among other things.

But he got over it. He helped Kris. Weeks later they were officially together. Lu Han couldn't find it in himself to pity both Kris and Yixing's admirers; he was too busy pitying himself.

He accepted the fact that they were perfect for each other, no sense in brooding anymore. And he'd buried the jealousy, busied himself with finding a girl of his own, busied himself with teasing both Yixing and Kris when he had the chance. And yet sometimes he'd look at a girl he would think was the one, and instead search for a tiny dimple.

Sometimes he'd talk to a girl and think, 'This is not Yixing,'

When they broke up Lu Han felt like he could finally breathe again. 4 months had felt so long.
 

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

Kris and Yixing were nowhere to be seen when Lu Han finally got out after what seemed like forever reminiscing. They were probably in the backyard so they couldn't be heard, not that Lu Han would have tried to eavesdrop even if they weren't, anyway. Who knew what he would've heard. It was better to stay in the shadows rather than knowing everything, at least when it came to the both of them.
 

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

There was something cold rolling up his arm. Lu Han stirred, a little, before turning away from the cold surface. The cold went to his face, then, and he sat up immediately, eyes unfocused and movements sluggish, before he saw Yixing beside him on the grass. She had a water bottle in her hand.

"Took you long enough," she said, handing the water bottle to him.

Lu Han blinked rapidly before taking it. He looked around to see that the sun had set and that the field was deserted. How long was he asleep?

"Minseok..." he started to say. Yixing shook her head.

"He said he needed to do something at home so he left first,"

He drank the water in one go. His jersey was sticking to his back, and he suddenly felt aware of how bad he probably smelled at the moment, all sweaty and dirty. He discreetly tried to move a few inches away.

"Ugh, I smell," he said when Yixing cocked her head in confusion, noticing the added distance between them.

Silence passed as he checked his reflection on his phone: messy hair, haggard face, dead eyes. He was so tired. Yixing was in her dance clothes, probably saw him on the way home after practice. Her face was still red from exertion, her eyes still bright. For a moment he saw a flash of Jongin in his mind, the both of them in some practice room, together, dancing the same steps and breathing the same, heavy air of determination--

--before it got replaced with the image of Kris.

"You and Kris..." Lu Han started, motioning with his hands what he couldn't put into words. Together, what, talk, yeah? he was basically saying. Hopefully it got through.

"Nothing, really," Yixing replied uneasily, twirling a stray hair with a finger. Lu Han nodded, not entirely convinced.

After a while Yixing sighed, then looked at Lu Han straight in the eye. Lu Han sensed her hesitance, so he said, "It's okay if you don't want to tell me. I understand."

"No, it's not that," Yixing shook her head. "It's just--"

And it was so sudden, so unexpected, that Lu Han felt as if he got punched in the gut, out of breath and dizzy with the impact.

"I'm happy," The reason her eyes were bright weren't because of her earlier encounter with dancing, but because there were tears there, and now they traveled her cheeks, pooling at the edges of her jaw, only to drop in the grass once heavy enough. "I really am,"

Which probably meant they're okay now. Almost half a year is a long time not to talk to a person, longer still if said person was someone you were close with. Sometimes Yixing would look at Kris from across a room, looking as if she wanted to say something. She never did.

Yixing wiped at her tears, muttering a low, "Ugh, why am I crying,"

Lu Han never really understood why they broke up, why they ignored each other for that long, why they never told him. But bitterness is something that shouldn't be harbored for so long; it wasn't worth it.

The only thing that mattered was he was there for them.

"You could cry, if you want to," Lu Han told her gently, hugging his knees close to his chest. "There's nobody here,"

Yixing looked as if she would refuse, but the tears still came. In embarrassment, she hid her face in her hands. Lu Han chuckled lowly to himself. He didn't know if he should sit closer or give her privacy--she wasn't crying out of sadness, which was a good sign. So did that mean she didn't need his reassurance?

Lu Han never really knew how to comfort someone crying. Whenever Sehun cried, he usually just sat closer to the boy, waited for him to stop. But this was Yixing, and Yixing rarely ever cried. Lu Han could hug her and she'd probably let him, but that would be selfish: taking advantage of someone's when she's vulnerable to get what he wanted. Lu Han wasn't that kind of person.

So instead he settled for a pat on her head. It took awhile, but eventually Yixing stopped. When she recovered, her eyes were red around the edges, but otherwise still bright. Lu Han's hand was still on her head, absentmindedly sifting his fingers through her hair.

"You at comforting people, you know that?" Yixing huffed, removing Lu Han's hand from her hair. "I am not Sehun,"

Lu Han feigned hurt, clutching the fabric above his heart with his free hand. "Ouch, Yixing,"

But Yixing only stood up, pulling him up with her; she let go of his hand.

"Let's go home," she said, already walking away. Lu Han stood where he was, watching the light color Yixing's hair a bright hue. "And don't tell anyone about this,"

Yixing turned to give him a playful look, eyes scrunching up. Her dimple was there, made deeper with the light shining above her.

Lu Han, not for the first time, felt his breath catch.

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

notes:  currently the longest chapter w a 4k+ wc omo o/ showed another snippet of the past!krislay here, but sorry this is all im going to let on for now;; questions are welcome tho! if you're confused abt smth, feel free to ask me :) TO CLEAR THINGS UP: wu bros grew up in china and went to korea where they met lay (kris was 12, lay was 11, sehun was 8). lu han transfers to their school 2 yrs later (age 14).

A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO'S BEEN READING! comments are a joy to receive, so thanks bbs :***