I had been so caught up in thinking about how that pyeontae pabo jerk, Kim Suho had humiliated me that even I was shocked by the creation in front of me. I barely had any recollection of making them but staring at the four perfectly puffed soufflés before me filled me with the satisfaction of a job well done. Who knew I would be able to make something so appetizing out of a few eggs, a handful of kiwis, and some of my mom’s flavorless Greek yogurt? All right, Eunmi! I mentally high-fived myself At least there’s one thing I didn’t screw up today…

The cute little soufflés were steaming, carrying the sweet scent of a warm hug or a well-loved blanket up to me. All right, all right little guys…it’s one thing to look pretty but its so much more important that what’s on the inside is sweet and unique. I deftly grabbed a spoon from the cabinet and dove into the marshmallowy softness of the soufflé closest to me. I closed my eyes and hummed, captured in a moment of bliss. The soufflés had come out better than I had ever dreamed. The texture was like a cloud and the flavor had come out as something between cotton candy and cheesecake. This may actually be the best thing I’ve made it weeks! For the first time in my life, I am actually grateful to Greek yogurt.

***BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ***

Huh?!? What the heck is that noise?? I whipped my head around trying to find the source of the noise that had suddenly invaded my peaceful kitchen sanctuary. Umma wasn’t supposed to be home from work for at least another 40 minutes and Appa had left a post-it on the front door to let us know that he had several surgeries this evening and wouldn’t be back from his practice until 8pm. So what or rather…who…could be making that buzzing racket? Whatever it was…it was majorly getting on my nerves. I mean, I had just spent more than an hour baking trying to de-stress myself from earlier today. Not to mention…I was planning on breaking some big news to Umma and Appa tonight and I really needed the mental space to prepare for that.

***BUZZ***    

Ugh! OK THAT is IT! Prepare to be destroyed, whatever you are! I shrieked in my own head. Determined to protect my kitchen kingdom from dangerous intruders I quickly snatched up a rolling pin as a weapon and began to survey every nook and cranny of the kitchen space. For extra measure I used a colander on my head as a protective helmet…just in case an attacker had broken into the house.

***BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZ***

Hmmm. I was definitely getting closer to whatever was making that noise. It sounded like it was in the breakfast room adjacent to our kitchen. I hid behind a wall and prepared myself for storming the room to rid it of dangerous attackers. Palms slick with sweat, I shakily grasped the rolling pin like a baseball bat and took a few deep breaths to steady myself. Alright, Hong Eunmi. This is it. Protecting the sanctity of your home and kitchen matters more than whatever lies behind this wall. On the count of three, then.

One…

Two….

Two and a halfffff…..

…..

THREEEEE

“YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” I burst into the breakfast room only to find….

A bowl of rice on the table. A bowl of rice containing a phone. Kim Suho’s phone.

“AISH. Yah! Kim Suho, you stupid jerk!! First you ruin my day at school and now you dare to invade my personal space” I fumed at the phone. Ruffling my hair in frustration and stamping my feet I was drawn back to my senses by an all to familiar ***BUZZ***

Well. At least if it’s buzzing nonstop like that, it must mean that Hyejoo’s tip really did work! Putting the phone in a bowl of rice really must have drawn ***BUZZ*** out all of the moisture. At least there was one small victory ***BUZZZ***  for today – I wouldn’t have to give that pyeontae jerk any ***BUZZ***money to buy a new phone. ***BUZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZ***

On second thought…it might’ve been better if the phone had been decimated. Then I wouldn’t have to endure all of these annoying phone alerts buzzes. Kim Suho must be getting a dozen texts a minute from all of the adoring girls from school. I smirked as I thought of all of their carefully crafted texts dissolving, unread, into a bowl of rice. Pabos. Can’t you see what a total slimeball Kim Suho is? And yet….

It was a shame to think of all of those hilariously lame messages just going to waste. I chewed on my bottom lip as I resisted the urge to read Suho’s texts.  It was wrong. Immoral. Unethical. Bad bad bad to read someone else’s private texts. But come on, it was like the school kingka’s diary had been left open and unattended on the table in front of me. Who wouldn’t want to look through it? And surely…since he had been such a jerk to me earlier…I wouldn’t really be invading his privacy, I would just be making us even!

Shiftly, I gazed around. Which was stupid – I was home alone. No one was going to see me take Suho’s phone out of the rice bowl, no one would see me read his texts, there was no reason to feel guilty, right? Like lightening I snatched Suho’s phone out of the rice and held cradled in my hands. My heart beat against my chest so hard I felt like it might escape.

No. No! Hong Eunmi! He was awful to you earlier – that pyeontae player even violated your innocence! There is no reason to feel guilty about looking through his phone.

Nodding to myself with determination I looked down with determination. The sleek black Samsung Galaxy S4 was streamlined, elegant, and seductive – a perfect match for the star-student/kingka/player of our school. I scoffed and flipped the phone over. Huh? In all of the commotion in the classroom earlier I hadn’t taken the time to really look at Suho’s phone…before I dunked it in milk. But now that I was really looking at it, I saw that the back of his sophisticated phone was littered with tons of adorable Pororo stickers. Bwoh?! The player of our school decorates his phone with…PORORO?! I could help but to crack up in the middle of my breakfast room. This was too weird. Just then the phone came alive in my hands with a violent ***BUZZ*** in my hands. Eagerly, I flipped the phone over in my hands. Alright, Kim Suho. Let’s see just what kind of text messages you get.

The text message was from an Unkown number. And all of the blood drained from my face as I read the text message.

Turn. Around. Now. 

I froze, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and my stomach plunged into icy water as the Unkown number sent one more text.

Nice get up. Do you alway get so dressed up before looking through private property, Eunmi-ssi?