“To Ren

Hi MinKi,

Now, while you’re reading this letter, I will probably be on the plane that’s taking me far away from Korea. Last night I couldn’t stop thinking to all you guys, to the time we spent together… I think you all were sincere with me, so now it’s time to tell you the true you always asked about

You asked why I was afraid of the wood. Well, when I was 2, my parents abandoned me in a wood: I ran looking for them for hours (I don’t even now how much) without being able to find them.  I stopped only when I had no more strength, but I was too tired and I fainted, I went in coma

You asked me how many languages I could speak: every existing one. When I woke up from coma, I could speak every language, and at first it was awful, because no one could understand me and I was speaking them unknowingly. But I was lucky, someone from InterLab found me and adopted me. They grew me up: first they taught me how to control my knowledge of languages, then they taught me all I know now. They saved me, they made me who I am now.

You asked how I knew that Mr. Park was the stalker, and I told you that it was because of his method. Well, it was not only for that: the man who ran away that night was Mr. Park. I already knew him well, that’s why I had no doubt. When I did my first mission, I was 10 and I was only the assistant: the assistant of Mr. Park. But he was crazy. He wanted to play with me. He took me as an hostage, to “play” together. But I was too weak for him, so he taught me how to defend myself, so that the “Game” would be funnier. The last time I saw him (before this time) he was teaching me how to use a baton, and he broke most of my ribs and my sternum. Then I fainted and someone must have come to save me, since I’m here, but I can’t remember who. Anyway when I woke up, the boss had already banned Mr. Park from the company. But it seems like he didn’t forget me, and wanted to “play” with me again.

You asked me if I had a crush on manager Song and I told you I did. It was a lie: he is my Oppa, my brother, the first friend I had in the company. The truth is: I liked, and I like, you but I couldn’t tell you. The Rule n.2 of my company is: ‘My blood must be cold as ice, I will show no emotions’. When I first realized I loved you, I wanted to disobey this rule. But after what happened with Mr. Park, I’ve understood the importance of this rule: because of my stupid revenge, you guys have been hurt, and I didn’t wanted it to happen. So I’ve changed my mind, and I left without telling you anything. But you deserve to know at least, since we won’t be able to see each other ever again.

I’m really sorry I lied to all of you, but it was to protect you. I will keep you in my heart forever.

I wish you all the best things you desire

                                                                                              Farewell!

                                                                                              DeungHae

PS. Please tell Aron that, if he really likes HyeRim, he should wait for her: she just has to do one more mission (no more than one year) and then she will be free, and she will come to him.”

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DEUNGHAE POV

It’s been 15 years since I left NU’EST. That day, on the plane, I turned my heart into a stone. I never thought about the guys again, so my heart has always been a piece of stone, and my blood has always been cold as ice. I swore I wouldn’t let anything scratch my heart until the day I was free, and so I did. Now I can think about them.

While I’m thinking this, my phone rings: a new message: it’s a picture, and under it something is written: “Ren’s new girlfriend???”. I suddenly feel that a crack is starting in my heart. Definitely, I must keep my heart a stone, and my blood cold as ice.

I close my eyes, I take a deep breath to imprison all my emotions once again.

“Then, it’s better I go back home” I think. I take my luggage and I head toward InterLab’s dorm, again.