Different ways to surprise

Different ways to surprise

*****

TOP had a long flight, with few via changes along it and was totally beaten down. He was feeling like the smashed lemon. The only thought lingering in his head was about getting home, lay on the couch and do nothing. The first part of his wish sort of came true as soon as he reached his appartment. He opened the front door, dragged his suitcase in and shouted "Hello!" into the depth of the flat. He was greeted by silence in return.

“Looks like Kriti is not home yet” – he thought to himself, feeling slightly disappointed by that, but still glad that he can now reach that so-thought after couch and rest. He dragged his tired body into the living room, settled comfortably and decided to wait for her there. His head was empty, he was just resting, looking really at nothing, when suddenly TOP caught something bright and moving by the corner of his eyes. Turning his head, TOP suddenly found his jaw dropped and eyes opening wider than he thought possible. There was his lovely girlfriend, casually going into the kitchen passing by him, wearing nothing but blue & pink leopardbikinis. 

 

“Baby?” – he called in a suddenly dried voice. – “What are you doing?”

 

“ What do you mean? Oh, this? “- she brushed her hand on the hip, “I recently bought it, just trying to see if they are comfortable to wear. You like it?”

 

Kritika have not even bothered to look his way.

 

“Did he like it? What kind of question is that?” – the thought flashed in his mind, while he was busy looking at his girlfriend’s body.

 

She definitely was working out while he was away and got some tan too. He could not take his eyes off her and suddenly felt more energy than from the crowd of thousand fans at the concert.

 

Kritika kept playing oblivious to her boyfriend’s obvious trail of thoughts. She went to the fridge and bent down to the lower shelf when suddenly felt two strong hands on her waist. Probably it was good that TOP could not see the smirk playing on her lips, while she grabbed a con of ice-cream, that bikini would not be the only surprise for him today. Her two favourites, ice-cream and TOP, combined, the image of ice-cream melting on his skin.. Just the idea was enought to make her brain melt too. Kriti smiled once more. 

*****

Next morning the couple was much occupied. TOP was busy calling his manager to cancel good part of the extra traveling activities from his schedule and was not moving even an inch from the point he made: he will never travel for more than 15 days in a next month and his holidays plan stays as it was.

And Kritika was all over computer, choosing and ordering more things from her favourite VS site. Hot pink, zebra and turquoise variety were already in the shopping cart. Just for a case ;)

 

*****

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Undankbar
#1
Chapter 4: OMG THOSE BABIES SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!! O___O
where do you find something so devilish!?

and yay for the wonderful life of Kriti!!! :D
Mistral
#2
@pauline33: re 1 message: this what tags are for, there are no rule that the poster should have characters in it.<br />
<br />
re 2&3: this was written as the snap-shot after previous stories, what is clearly stated in description, plus it was done specialy to people I know, and they know what is what in the fic and why.<br />
As for mistakes, I surely have not done them on purporse (Eng being not native for me). But seeing how many typos you did yourself, you probably should understand how it may happen.<br />
<br />
BUT looking on the fact that the your 3 comments was posted on the same date I had run into very unpleasant conversation with someone(described in my blog http://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/42344) and you are actualy a friend of that person, I can draw a very safe conclusion of why you wrote what you did and do not take it to heart.<br />
<br />
But I agree, I still should have done better job for those lovely people I wrote it for!
pauline33
#3
edit properly and maybe readers wont be turned off completely by the lack of a thorough editing job.<br />
btw..this is just a ff so people dont have the guarantee and security that this ff is a good story and that they arent just wasting their time, therefore a description and foreword are need.
pauline33
#4
umm..ur first chapter doesnt start off really interesting, so it doesnt capture the reader's attention. secondly, there are a lot of mistakes e.g. "Don't take her wrong" how can yu take her wrong?? dont yu mean "Don't misunderstand/misinterpret her" or something like that?? and also "...to come with something original..." are yu saying that they physically approach yu and give yu something? if not, yu should have said "...to come UP with something original..."<br />
there are a lot of mistakes, this is just a few.
pauline33
#5
yur poster isnt very good since it doesnt really tell yu anything bout the story and it doesnt reveal some of the characters in it so the reader doesnt even noe wat they are reading,
Miyoko_Kato
#6
hmmp. NO>.< <br />
I didn't read it. I swear I do not know that Onew's present was a star. I do not know that she tried so hard to leave hints on what she wants as "surprise". No. I didn't 'cause I'm not reading any OnewXother-people fic, I swear. TT^TT<br />