A slam of a door somewhere and Key's voice ringing from inside, calling them to go down because they're leaving, made Jonghyun and Jinki pull away from each other, breathing and heartbeats erratically rapid. "I don't know what you guys are playing but we have to go before the fans arrive," Key sang as he peered out of the door.

Jinki moved in panic and almost lost his balance, his vision still impaired and his brain still in short circuit. Laughing, Jonghyun pulled him back and reached around his head, untying the scarf from his eyes. Jinki blinked as his eyes got used to the surroundings once more, before giving the man before him a shy smile.

"Let's go," Jonghyun whispered, his voice a bit more gruff than usual. "The fans will be here any minute."

Jinki could only nod as Jonghyun grasped one of his hands, leading him towards the door back into the bar. They found Key waiting by the door, eyes rolling. "Wow, the two of you have some weird kinks," he quipped, making Jinki blush. Jonghyun nudged him on the ribs and coerced him to guide them downstairs.

At the bar, the music was still in full swing, but the members of SHINE were obviously rattled as they watched the trio go down the stairs. "We have to get in the car at the back," Minho said as he nodded to Jinki. "What about Jinki-hyung?"

Jonghyun tightened his hold on Jinki's hand. "I'll see him to the exit then return to you guys." He took off his jacket and covered Jinki's shoulders with it. "Let's go," he murmured, removing his hand from Jinki's and placing it at the small of Jinki's back. "Be careful, there're photographers all over."

"I can go by myself," Jinki said.

But Jonghyun rubbed his back as they pushed through the crowd to get to the front door. "I can't leave without seeing you safely out," Jonghyun said. "I don't want you to think of me as some jerk who just kisses someone then leaves them to fend for themselves."

"Jonghyun..."

"I'm sorry for kissing you suddenly, by the way," Jonghyun muttered into Jinki's ear as they were carried by the crowd. "I just...oh, I can't stop touching you, Jinki. I'm so sorry." Jinki looked at the singer's flushed face and piercing eyes, but before he could utter a response, they reached the front door. "Be careful," Jonghyun said, leaning towards Jinki to plant a kiss somewhere near his jaw. "I want to take you home but..."

"It's fine!" Jinki said, smiling, and for a moment saw Jonghyun taken aback again. He wondered if his smile really had that effect. Jonghyun pushed him out of the door and light flooded Jinki's eyes once more. There was a sudden flash of light from his right, but he couldn't tell where it was from. As he looked back to give even just a small wave at Jonghyun, the singer had gone back into the crowd.

It took Jinki an hour of travel and an hour of staring at the posters on his walls before realization struck him.

He had kissed Kim Jonghyun.

And Jonghyun told him "I love you."

It took a few more hours for Jinki to regain normal heartbeat and complexion. He had never felt something like this before even with his past girlfriends. How could a guy like Jonghyun elicit all these extreme reactions from him?

Morning found Jinki deep in sleep, still in his clothes from the night before, but with a goddamn happy smile on his face.


 

"What are you doing?"

"I'm editing your photos."

Jonghyun gave a small wheeze and buried his face on Jinki's neck. "That's so boring. What is there to edit?" He ran his forefinger over his own photo on the screen. "This man is so perfect, you won't even find a single flaw on him, really."

"Well, Mr. Kim Jonghyun, in case you're not aware, the lighting of these photos a lot and some of your makeup looked off in the shots," Jinki said, letting his cursor move over Jonghyun's magnified face on the screen. "I have to fix the tones and hues so you look impeccable to your fans." He grinned when the singer made a face and hugged him from behind.




It had been weeks since they first kissed above that bar SHINE frequented, yet the tingle on Jinki's spine and the electricity in his nerves whenever Jonghyun was close never really disappeared. After that night, Jonghyun called Jinki, seemingly braver than when they were face to face. Jinki bit his lip and hugged his knees as Jonghyun sang to him over the phone, singing lines of love song over love song until Jinki couldn't take it anymore. Jonghyun told him of tales he never knew before--about how the singer was moved by Jinki's tears, about how he was so happy to see Jinki in the crowd even though he wasn't supposed to be there for him, about how his eyes automatically did a search for Jinki's face in events, about how Jonghyun was so head over heels about a stranger that he wrote three songs in a row, about how every message Jinki sent him made him smile like a fool, about how it was euphoric to hear Jinki's voice, and about how it felt like he was the luckiest guy in the world when he finally kissed Jinki.

"I love you so much," Jonghyun had said, his voice raspy with emotion over the phone.

"But...but I'm just a fan," Jinki had softly answered. "I can't..."

"Idiot. I loved you even before you became my fan," Jonghyun then said, chuckling a bit. "You can't use that excuse on me."

And Jinki cried, cried so much- with frustration and happiness and everything. Jonghyun laughed and tried to calm him down, telling Jinki how much he wanted to see Jinki with puffy eyes and red cheeks, and Jinki cried even more until Jonghyun was crying himself.

They continued meeting up whenever Jonghyun was free, and whether it was just in the car by the Han River or in a small unknown restaurant at some town, Jinki didn't mind. He was being more than a fan, more than a friend. And right now, it seemed that being with Jonghyun and creating memories with him seemed the best thing to do.

Nights like these when Jonghyun came to his flat for a sleepover had become quite common, especially since they didn't want to spend a lot of time under public scrutiny. Oftentimes, Jonghyun would come just before midnight, satisfied with just talking and touching until the wee hours of the morning, and getting some sleep for a few hours before hurrying to his schedule. Jinki would be spent, having stayed up all night, and would be quite exhausted by the time he got to his job but it was all worth it. If it was with Jonghyun, any sleepless night would be worth it.





"That's very nice of you, Mr. Lee Jinki," Jonghyun muttered against Jinki's shirt. "But we have to go to bed. It's midnight." He let go of Jinki's shoulders and let himself fall onto Jinki's bed, bouncing as he settled into the sheets.

Jinki absently nodded as he logged into his site. "I'll just upload these and I'll be set." He fiddled with the website for a bit, ignoring the whines coming from the bed.

"Come on! Why do you spend so much staring at those photos, just come to bed!"

Jinki whirled around on his seat and cocked his head to the side. "Are you telling me that you're jealous of yourself?"

Jonghyun shook his head. "My digital self," he corrected before throwing a pillow at Jinki. When the other man did not retaliate, he resorted to whining again. "Jinki-hyuuuuung," he cooed, sitting up on the bed and stretching out an arm.

"What's up with calling me hyung all of a sudden?" Jinki huffed although he was blushing darkly. He slowly stood up and walked over to the bed, taking his sweet time while Jonghyun watched him, feet hanging off the edge. Gingerly, he sat near Jonghyun's foot, narrowing his eyes at the other man. "You don't call me hyung unless...oomph!"

Suddenly, there was a tug on his arm and Jinki fell backwards, tumbling onto his back while Jonghyun rolled over him, laughing as Jinki squeaked a bit. "Unless I'm seducing you, is that right?"

Jinki tried to give Jonghyun an annoyed glare, but failed when the younger man leaned down to capture his mouth. Jinki felt Jonghyun shifting his weight on the bed, trying to completely cover Jinki's body with his own, his knees pressed on either side of the older man's body. "Yes," Jinki breathed as they both came up for air.

"So, can digital Jonghyun do this to you?" Jonghyun said, a smile tugging at his lips even though his eyes looked glazed and slightly unfocused. His hands were planted on either side of Jinki's head, careful not to lean against the strands of Jinki's hair fanned out on the pillow.

Jinki made a face before tugging Jonghyun's shirt collar, pulling him closer for another kiss and making the singer groan a bit into their mouths. One of Jonghyun's hands crept under Jinki's nape, coaxing the other guy to open his mouth and Jinki willingly did. A touch of Jonghyun's tongue on Jinki's palate and the older man was arching up against the singer, murmuring his name as he let his hands creep on Jonghyun's back. Soon, not only Jinki's hands but his legs looped themselves around Jonghyun's knees, pulling the singer closer and letting him collapse his weight on Jinki's form.

"Good god," Jonghyun roughly muttered as he pulled away for a minute. "I was just gone for a week and you're already this intense in kissing? Did you practice with other guys?" He rubbed Jinki's neck affectionately as he leaned down once more to run his lips along the trail of his fingers. "I'm suspicious of this improvement, Jinki-hyung."

"What..." Jinki stuttered as he leaned his neck sideways to give Jonghyun access. "What are you talking about? You're the flirt."

"Really?" Jonghyun said with a hint of a smile. Before Jinki could catch it, one of Jonghyun's hands crept under his shirt. "I'm not flirting with anyone at all."

"Y-yah, Jonghyunnie.." Jinki stammered as he tried to squirm away from the younger man's touch.

Jonghyun wore a smug grin on his face as he let his hand travel lower, reveling in Jinki's hitched breath. "I am loyal to you, right, hyung?" His fingers dipped under Jinki's pajamas as he scooted upwards to gain leverage. "What do you think, hyung?"

"Jonghyun, just...." Jinki's eyes were tightly shut, his hands gripping the sleeves of Jonghyun's shirt.

"What is it?" the singer said, his voice a mere whisper. "What do you want, hyung?"

Jinki opened his eyes, the dark orbs poring into Jonghyun's dark brown ones. "Help me," he pleaded, his toes curling and knees buckling. "Help, Jonghyun."

The last thing Jinki saw before he closed his eyes was Jonghyun's softened gaze and gentle smile as he answered, "Be glad that I love you, Lee Jinki."




"Are you alright? You haven't slept at all. Did I tire you out?"

Jinki unconsciously leaned to the palm on his cheek. "I'm fine. You should be the one taking care of yourself. You have a recording today."

Jonghyun shouldered his bag as they left the elevator. "I'll be okay. I'll take a nap later in the studio." As they neared the entrance, Jonghyun routinely looked around for any suspicious people lurking around the building. "I guess it's all clear. I'll take a taxi to the agency."

"Okay," Jinki said as he reached up to straighten Jonghyun's collar. He patted the singer's shoulder and laughed. "Go get 'em, doggie."

Jonghyun winced. "Doggie? Seriously? I would've settled for tiger or something more ferocious!" When Jinki just chuckled, his eyes crinkling into slits, Jonghyun sighed and held the other man close. "I'll see you in a few days? I'll call you."

"Alright. I have shifts to cover anyway, so we're both busy." He blinked when Jonghyun dared to turn his head and plant a kiss on Jinki's cheek. "W-what?"

"Rare opportunity to show off my affection outside," Jonghyun said with a smile as he ran down the steps of the building. "Bye!!"

Jinki watched as Jonghyun flagged a taxi and got in. It would be days before they see each other again for SHINE didn't have any scheduled live event for weeks. Cheering himself up with prospects of seeing SHINE on TV or talking to Jonghyun on the phone tomorrow, Jinki took a deep breath and went back inside the building.

There was an audible click from behind him and Jinki whirled around, surprised. He looked around but there was no one in sight. There were only lamp posts, bushes, and benches around the building, with rarely a person walking by for it was five in the morning. Puzzled, Jinki just shrugged and entered the building.

Hi! This is from Jonghyun-oppa's fansite xx. I just want to ask if you'd be covering the handshake event today at 3 pm near Apgujeong station? It seems that it's for a limited audience only and I know you're the first to know about it, so just asking! It'd be nice to see photos of the event since I can't go T_T.


Jinki read the message twice, confused. Jonghyun didn't mention that SHINE will have an event in Apgujeong. It was probably just a small event but it's an event nonetheless. Come to think of it, SHINE hadn't held any handshake events since the release of their album. This might be a great chance to take good photos and to surprise Jonghyun who apparently forgot to tell Jinki about it. Grinning as he planned his surprise for Jonghyun at the event, Jinki replied to the e-mail with an affirmation.

Camera, zoom lens, bottled water and his disguise, and Jinki was all set. He tightened his coat and settled the cap on his head, ready to go out. But before he could step out of the door, his phone rang.

"Oppa!" It was Eunji. "Where are you?!"

Jinki blinked in puzzlement. He hadn't told Eunji where he was going. "I'm going to Apgujeong to cover an event. Aren't you coming, too?"

Eunji sighed on the phone, but whether it was of relief or exasperation Jinki couldn't tell. "Oppa, stay put! I repeat, don't go out right now!"

"What? Why?"

"I'm forwarding something to your e-mail. Open it ASAP, you understand? And don't go out!" And just like that, she hung up.

Confused as ever, Jinki scratched the back of his head, putting down his bag for a moment to open his laptop and check the mail. Eunji's e-mail came a few seconds later, its title akin to a spam mail saying READ THIS NOW!!!!!"

The e-mail was empty aside from a long link. Jinki recognized the first part of the URL as an unofficial forum for SHINE fans. He clicked the link and waited for the page to load.

When the page finally loaded, Jinki could only blink at the title and the content of the forum post. Swallowing, he moved his mouse to scroll over the boards, reading every reply, looking at every photo, and digesting every information before he slumped on his seat, heart leaping out of his chest.



The forum post contained pictures of Jonghyun. It was like the usual stolen shots taken by sasaeng and paparazzi, but they included someone else.



That someone being Jinki himself.



"SHINE's Jonghyun spotted multiple times with a suspected boyfriend?!?!" the title read and the whole post was a collection of fan accounts of Jonghyun and Jinki spotted in various places, from a bar to a restaurant, with the last one taken just outside Jinki's building, where Jonghyun had his arm around Jinki as he leaned for a kiss.



There were a lot of suspicions and hypotheses about the "handsome mystery guy." But more pictures emerged later in the thread, with photos of the crowds in SHINE's various events. In each photo, Jinki's form was encircled in red. "Is he a fansite owner?" one of the posters asked and even more speculations arose. The last part of the forum post, though, disturbed Jinki the most. It was a most elaborate trap involving a fake Apgujeong event where only one fansite master was invited.




Jinki's hands shook as he closed the browser window and reached for his cellphone.