Being everything which now thou art

——

The color of his eyes, is the first thing he notices. Sweet dark brown orbs, make him swimming deeply into the different side of universe, the colors that showing the emptiness, between the shinning stars.

“You… here?”

The sounds of the rain outside fills the room. The water clattering his window wildly, send knocking sounds with no end. 

Kyu still has his hands hold at the knob, not even close it. His eyes busy by keep staring at someone that he know in his room. Well, almost.

“I’m bored.” Changmin pacing the room with his hands behind his back. He not flew in the air anymore. In fact Kyu can see him for real, more human “are you mind?”

“No.” Kyu close his bedroom door slowly and put his satchel on his desk. “not at all”

Kyu try to take off his tie and undoing few buttons of his shirt. He walk towards his bed and laid himself there, facing the ceiling blankly.

“Tap. Tap. Tap.”

Changmin make a tapping voice with his mouth, while his fore finger on the window. He can’t touch it for sure. His finger going through the glass when he pushes to it. He try to tap the rain that lashing the window.

Kyu get into sit position and sit cross legged. “You’re Shim Changmin right? The one that crash into the truck last night?”

Changmin curl his fingers and turn it into fist. He turn away and back facing Kyu. His body slowly turn into transparent. Kyu look at the ground where Changmin is, but there’s actually nothing. There’s no shadow, or not even feet.

“I’m sorry I—”

“Thanks for letting me kill my boredom here for a while, Kyu.”

Changmin take his hand to hold the wall in front of him, beside Kyu’s closets, before he fade away, just like what he done this noon at the rooftop.

——

“What makes you interested Kyu?”

Eunhyuk voice come from kitchen. Kyu’s hand keep pull the buttons of the remote, changing Television channel in constant, if its not talking about the Shim accident. His eyes keep focused on each channel, while his finger tapping madly to the remote.

“You’ll break it in minutes with your trained fingers, if you keep push the button like that!”

Eunhyuk takes the remote from his brother hand quickly while he take a seat beside him. Kyu hiss with disappointment and rolled his eyes, let his brother change it into some kind of drama channel.

Eunhyuk take a sip of his green tea slowly, but his eyes glancing to his brother. Kyu’s eyes are focused on the television, but its blank. No emotion founds.

Not that its the first time for him to find his brother emotionless. Whole family already know his brother behavior, even his boyfriend, Donghae know about it. Kyu’s hands still on his lap, and he doesn’t realize if Eunhyuk already change the channel into the news one.

“Hyung…” Kyu says suddenly, but his gaze already down to his hands “why people like to try kill their self?”

“You mean committed suicide?” Kyu only shrugs and wait for the answer. “Maybe they just tired of their life.” Eunhyuk emptied his glass and stand from the couch. He gives and throws the remotes to Kyu before he start to walk away.

——

He doesn’t remember how its happen, but he realize if the visit turn regularly.

.

“I’m bored.” Changmin flew over Kyu’s blue bed. His back not even touch the covers, he’s like a smoke.

Kyu have his eyes focus on the books in front of him. He try to write ten pages English essay that his teacher gave him. In past few days, Kyu given so much school task from his teachers. 

Kyu is a cheerful person. He’s talk active and like to talk about some jokes. He like to teasing his friends, and sometimes, if he has a chance, he like to make his hyung boyfriend, Donghae, turn into tears, because his tease. 

But only, he was.

Kyu is a quiet type person now. Not gonna talk if its not necessary. The answer of each question only ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Not even care with all his game console which he bought with his precious saving in years. 

Emotionless.

“Why you never smile Kyu?”

“Why should I?” Kyu answer it without lift his head. He busying himself by flipping pages from the dictionary “beside that’s not fair.”

Laughter can be heard from downstairs. Kyu’s parents are gone for some kind of dinner for two, which mean Eunhyuk can invite his friends home till the curfew. 

They stare at the bedroom door that open for awhile. Kyu sigh and get into his feet to close the door and lock it.

“You know, I’m glad that you can see me.” Changmin says from the bed. He sit cross legged even he not even sits.

“Why?” Kyu laugh sarcastically with a smirk plastered in his face. “aren’t you try to kill your self?”

“I am.” Changmin move slowly. His transparent body pacing slowly through the room and stops near the window “but now, I really want to meet you in person, Kyu.”

“W… Why?”

Changmin just smile and shrugs. He walk to the open window and jump outside. Kyu open his mouth and rush towards the window, forgetting about the fact if the other isn’t real. He put his head outside, try to find the other, but only find the darkness of the night spreading along in the sky.

——

“Morning Kyu.”

Kyu snapped his head. There, Siwon already walk beside him on the hallway. Greeting each student that passing by with a sweet smile. It becoming one of another day when Kyu can’t even feel his feet walk on the ground. His heart thumping quiet fast and his gaze turn to the ground.

“So, Siwon, huh?” Kyu turn his face to another direction and only find Changmin smile teasingly toward him. He flew in the air and follows the shorter slowly.

“What is it Kyu?” Siwon stops walking when he realize if the younger already left behind, staring at nothing on the window. 

“Uh—” Both Kyu and Changmin turn their heads to the source. Siwon already tilted his head for a while as a sign for Kyu to follows him toward their class. Kyu look back at the window, but there’s no one there. Changmin already gone. Again. “nothing hyung.”

Kyu try to catch up with Siwon and walk again, and for once he turn his head back only to make sure if Changmin really gone.

——

“Why me?” They already sat on the school roof, side by side. They stare at nothing, only the blue sky with some leaves that blowing over the wind “why of all people, you come to me?”

“Well…” Changmin bring his feet to his chest and hug it. He looks like a youngster “I’m hungry.”

Kyu risen one of his eyebrows and put that questioning look. Changmin rarely answering his question these day. Well, he never answer all his question for sure.

Changmin only pouting his mouth because Kyu doesn’t respond to his words. Kyu rolled his eyes and sigh, he get into his feet and walk toward the door.

“Okay what do you want?” 

Changmin clapping his hands like a child, even there’s no claps sound come. He smile widely “Anything that you can find Kyu, I’m not a picky person anyway.”

With a single nods, Kyu open the door and move away toward canteen.

.

.

.

The door open, and revealing Kyu only bring two sandwiches and a can of coke. 

Changmin still doesn’t realize his presence. He sit in the school roof gates and staring down. Even he’s somehow blurs, his hair is still blowing in the wind slowly. 

Kyu sits under the shadow of the building and start to open his coke. Changmin turn his face and get down from the gate, flew away toward Kyu.

“Yah! what are you doing!?” Changmin shouting madly to Kyu when the older suddenly throw one of the sandwich toward him. The sandwich only pass through his body. Changmin turn his body and try to take the sandwich from the floor, but he can’t. He not even touch it.

Changmin sat on the ground and try to take it over and over, but it even move. He gave up. He put his hands covers his eyes “I hate being immortal…”

Kyu put his can on his side. He just remember if Changmin isn’t real, so what’s the point of feed him then?

He walk toward the other and sit in front of Changmin. He take the sandwich from the floor, open it slowly and take a bite.

“Oh my god, the mayonnaise  feels good.” He chews. Changmin open his eyes and look at the other “the smokes beef, not that bad.”

Changmin smile and laugh. He tilted his head and stare at Kyu while he change his sits position, cross legged. “Tell me more Kyu.”

Kyu take out the lettuce from the sandwich, with the tomato. “I hate the vegetables, but for sure its quiet nice. You should know the taste of the bread, is good.”

They spent the lunch time like that. With Kyu who eat the sandwich slowly and tells what he can tell from it, and Changmin patiently listen to his words about the food.

Once or twice, Changmin would laugh while Kyu stick out his tongue, because Changmin keep teasing him about his weird description about the sandwich, but in the end, Kyu join the laughter though.

“Uh, I should get back.” Kyu says suddenly when he hear the bell ring and collect the garbage. He get into his feet and walk toward the door. He has his hand on the knob and stop. He turn his head to his back and find Changmin stare at him with cheeky grin. “what?”

“I like this Kyuhyun. The one that smile and laugh over a silly thing.” Changmin has his hands behind his back and walk backward “Thanks Kyu, I’m not hungry anymore.”

And he fade away just like usual

——

“Hyung…”

Eunhyuk keep chewing his ramyun while his eyes focusing on television. Their parents once again aren’t home till late night. Leaving the brothers to have more time by their own at home, which usually they spent by watching TV.

“Hmm?”

“Am I never smile or laugh?”

Eunhyuk coughing so hard and choked out the ramyun. He take his glass and drinks until there’s no water left. Kyu only stare at his brother questioningly because his behavior.

When he already stop coughing, Eunhyuk wipe his mouth with his shirt sleeves. He push away the ramyun’s bowl to the corner, losing his appetite with no reason. He turn his eyes from the television, even it playing his favorite drama.

He face his brother and try to find his gaze. Kyu the one that being stared at only raise one of his eyebrows. Eunhyuk lift his right hand to his fore head while his left he put on the others. Kyu rolled his eyes and spat away Eunhyuk’s hand from his head “I’m not sick!”

“Who says that you never smile or laugh?” 

“… Uh…” Kyu quiet not sure what he supposed to say since, he realize if Changmin isn’t real, and he never meet Changmin in person as human “… friend?”

Eunhyuk expression start to change. Happy? Shock? He not even sure. Honestly, the expression showed just because he never heard about Kyu interested in friendship things again. After the car accident, his life turn completely different. Especially after his brother define himself as a  misanthropist.

 ”Am I weird If I say that, maybe, I miss the feeling of smile and laughing?”

He not lie about that. Kyu not lying about how if maybe he miss it. Well, for sure he never thinks about miss how he laughing and smile or everything until today. Until Changmin tell him so.

Being a misanthropic make you hate so much thing. Because inside their mind, life is meaningless. Just like what Kyu thought these past few years. Why should people enjoy their life, if in the end, everyone gonna die?

“O… okay.” Eunhyuk rubbing behind his neck awkwardly “First of all, yes, that’s weird. Second, I’m happy and super excited that you say you miss how you smile and laugh.” Eunhyuk move his sits position quiet backward “… and third, I’m freaking out”

Kyu still doesn’t have expression in his face. The credit title already fills up the TV screen showing if the drama already ends. There’s no sounds from each person, only the soundtrack of drama with the lower voice try to bring the room into life.

“Why?” Kyu listen directly into his brother question

“Why this person words makes you thinks like that? Cho Kyuhyun that I know for these past few years, is not someone that easily get into someone words.” Eunhyuk waving his hands in the air as he remember Kyu behaviors “seriously, who are you?”

Kyu rise from his seat and turn his heels away “Maybe I’m not Cho Kyuhyun that you know these past few years” Kyu turn his head to his right and glancing at his brother on the couch “or maybe, you don’t know me at all.”

Kyu left Eunhyuk to his room upstairs toward his room, leaving the other open mouthed with so much question.

——

Thou wouldst be loved? — then let thy heart

From its present pathway part not!

Being everything which now thou art

——

whoa, ten subs and one vote, thanks guys :D

so, new chapter, and I still try to arrange all puzzle pieces inside my mind and collect every missing one from this story

and sorry if it still confusing, but I guess it'll getting better for the next one (I hope)

I'll be very busy for my college registration things, so, yeah.

thanks for read and see ya next chaper~