"Patient number 2765, Jang Wooyoung, we will now proceed with the deletion. An anesthesia will be injected into your system to ensure you stay unconscious for the whole procedure. If you have any last requests, please state them now."

"I just want to forget."

"We will try our best. The anesthesia has been injected. Jang Wooyoung, please count backwards from 10."

"10...9...8...7..."

 

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

The elevator in front of him dinged just before the doors open, letting Nichkhun out of the confinement of the moving box. He checks the floor number to make sure fans didn't press random buttons again just to get a glimpse of his money making face. Wooyoung had warned him a few days ago about the slightly annoying fans staying here, just before he had to leave for a photoshoot in Thailand.


A few days ago via text. That was the last time I heard from him.


They are on a tour together with their group, 2PM to promote their latest album. The tour has so far been a success, proving their worthy title of 'popular KPop idols' even after being on hiatus in their country for so long. Even after the hardships they had to face to get to where they are now. After all these years he still cannot believe just how strong they had become. They've pulled themselves up and dragged their wounded bodies and hearts this far.

But today, Nichkhun doesn't feel like an honored soldier.

Today, Nichkhun is a coward, opting to room with Taecyeon for this stop in Osaka instead of the person who had him nervous to the core. Taecyeon - his right wing man - had somehow coerced their older brother, Minjun, to bunk with Wooyoung instead. The two always spend time together anyway, so why not sleep in the same room?


Because he always sleeps with me.

No, let's not think like that. Wooyoung will storm out the room just at the sight of me anyway. I'm doing him a favor.


He reaches the end of the corridor to a room labeled 9252, the one with the TV sound blaring out the door. It's a miracle none of them are deaf yet from the booming sound waves they expose themselves to everyday. Or maybe that's why they always shout when they speak even with the person just an arm's length away.

Nichkhun knocks hesitantly on the door - afraid his best friend had been playing a trick on him all along and he'll find those stern fox like eyes looking at him - and waits. He shifts his weight from his right foot to his left, trying to get rid of that antsy feeling. A rustling noise, followed by boisterous laughter, then followed by an obnoxious "what's the secret password?"

Oh God, no.

 

"Guys, I'm tired..."

"Password!"

Nichkhun sighed in defeat. He knows a lost battle when he sees one. "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world," he sings in the highest falsetto he could manage. If his vocals teacher had heard him she would call him a lost cause and quit her job the very next day.

He could hear the chain lock rattling from the other side and two subtle clicks as the knob undoes the lock. The door opens and almost immediately, he meets a set of large teeth as Taecyeon shows him a recording of him singing not 10 seconds ago. Minjun and the youngest kids, Chansung and Junho, open a huge umbrella to shield themselves from Nichkhun's muay thai kick attacks, leaving Taecyeon to fend himself with just a camcorder.

The last member of the group (and Nichkhun's favorite) had quietly gone out the door to retrieve Nichkhun's belonging left in the hallway. The Thai can feel his stomach churn and his heart beating twice it's normal speed, but Wooyoung only smiles when he hands the wheelie bag to its owner. His smile wasn't fabricated either as it reached his eyes, and this stuns Nichkhun because it's been so long since he's seen Wooyoung's genuine smile.

And that was it. No arguing. No cold shoulder, nothing. Wooyoung treats him well just like always. Maybe even a little too well.


If he's not mad then why hasn't he replied to any of my texts?


Hours past by and soon it was time for another meal. The boys agree on a restaurant and left the room to freshen up before going out. Nichkhun puts on his favorite red shirt - the one Wooyoung bought for him - and sprays on Wooyoung's favorite cologne, wanting the younger's full attention tonight. He's lucky that the other wasn't openly mad at him like he thought he'd be, but repressed anger isn't a good thing either. Nichkhun secretly plans to woo his lover and get him to channel his frustration into their ual activities. If only he'd man up and stayed Wooyoung's roommate.

Eager to romance his love, Nichkhun takes out his other phone (his private line) and texts Wooyoung to meet him on the third floor outside the gym so they can talk. He then excuses himself from the room and skips to their meeting point. He checks his breath and pops a peppermint candy into his mouth. If they meet before the candy melts completely, he might try giving him one of those cheesy candy kisses he's seen on TV. He would love that. He would also like the other gift. Nichkhun snickers as he pats his pants pocket, checking if his watermelon flavored and tube of lube are still there.

Ten minutes past. Twenty. No sight of Wooyoung.

This isn't expected from the person allergic to tardiness. What's holding him back? He couldn't actually be angry with Nichkhun and is punishing him like this. Could he?

He runs his hand through his silky hair and leans back on the wall. He considers going back to his room but a part of him is hoping - praying - Wooyoung will show up any minute now with a mischievous smile and a flavored in his jeans pocket. Yes, he nods to himself as he rubs at the dark rings under his eyes as if to make them disappear. He'll be here. A yawn escapes him as he stretches his worn out body, limbering up so he won't pull a muscle when they get it on later.

Nichkhun falls asleep in the middle of a round of Candy Crush on his phone. The awaited one never showed up.

They eventually meet when Junho calls and nags him for being late. He scrambles to the lobby where his pissy (famished) friends waited for him with frowns etched on their faces. Wooyoung does nothing but smile. Not a sinister I-hope-you-suffered smirk, but an innocent, almost angel-like smile.

Nichkhun gets this urge to hurt him - really hurt him - but the anger turns to confusion when Wooyoung compliments his shirt and their fans for their impeccable fashion sense.
 

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NIchkhun watches intently as Minjun struggles with the new coffee machine in their kitchen. Even without the watchful eyes of their fans Minjun is always comical with his loud voice and body language, and sometimes Nichkhun wishes he's like that too.


Maybe Wooyoung will like me again and come back to me.


The machine beeps and soon enough, a stream of coffee fills the transparent pot beneath it. Minjun celebrates by singing an impromptu song about making coffee (and somehow includes the following words: panda, swag, freshest, Daegu).

Then finally, when he's had freshly brewed coffee in his favorite mug with Audrey the poodle poorly drawn on it, and took a sip of the smooth, bitter liquid, did he spare a glance at his foreign friend standing next to him.

"So while I was gone," Nichkhun casually opens a conversation, "did anything happen?"

He wants to ask specifically about Wooyoung, but they've never talked to any of the members about their relationship so it might be a little awkward to ask; even though the other members are most probably onto them.

His friend looks puzzled since it's too early in the morning to be asking such questions, but he racks his brain anyway, trying to think of anything memorable.

"Chansung got hit on by someone's grandma the other day. Other than that, nope."


Nothing worth noting. It's all in your head, Khun.


He thinks he should just let it go. Wooyoung is tired, and it's completely normal to forget things when you're tired. Especially menial, unimportant things like Nichkhun's shirt, their inside jokes, their plans for the future. No big deal.

Except Wooyoung looks lost whenever he leans in for a kiss. Looks weird out whenever Nichkhun tries to entice him to bed with suggestive words. Looked horrified when Nichkhun showed up late last night in his room in nothing but his birthday suit, sporting a woody.

Yes, he looks happier and healthier than he's ever been, but how can anyone not be concerned when his lover is acting like they've never been together at all?

As if on cue, Wooyoung enters with his head slightly bowed. Nichkhun's ness had clearly scarred him and made things awkward between them. He pours his cereal and milk into a bowl (his favorite bowl so it's not like he lost his memory or anything) and exits as quietly as he entered.

"Actually, Wooyoung has been kinda quiet and weird lately," Minjun wonders out loud.

Nichkhun rushes to his side and the two huddle by the coffee machine, talking in whispers.

"Did something happen while you guys were away, Khun?" Minjun narrowed his eyes. "He left to see you, didn't he?"

Now this is news to Nichkhun. He had gone to Thailand for the photoshoot and took a week off to see his parents. Unlike Wooyoung, Nichkhun never has trouble remembering his time spent with his lover.

"When did he even leave? Why would he go somewhere without telling me? Did he tell you he went to see me?"

Minjun shook his head and shrugged slowly, saying Wooyoung only told them he was going back to Seoul for a week and since his private cellphone was broken, no one could contact him aside from the manager. The lead singer's face now mirroring Nichkhun's. Something must've happened while he was away.

"You need to ask him."

He's itching to find out what on earth is wrong with his love, but how does one even begin the interrogation? He can ask him where he went and he'll just say he had something to do, or had someone to see. Then, what? 'Honey, I don't believe you because you've been too good to me.' That would not sound right. He can't even bring up the fact that they are boyfriends because technically, they never were. Nichkhun and Wooyoung never officially said anything about being tied together by an invisible knot called 'relationship'.


We both know how the other feels. There's no need for a lame "let's go steady" speech when we're practically married.


There's also the fact that Wooyoung is avoiding him like he has cooties or something equally contagious and disgusting.

Nichkhun slumped his shoulders. "We're not on speaking terms right now since I upset him."

The eldest member rubbed his friend's shoulder in sympathy. The two of them have fought numerous times before and he can see his friend is more afraid of the calm rather than the storm.

"You know who you should ask? Junho. He lives for dramas."