Title: 5 /5

    The only sort of emulsion that i know of is the liquid poured over film when being developed but anyways the title is intriguing and very captivating. 

Foreward and Description: 9 /10

     You have a Foreward, which a lot of people seem to not put in, so it'd good that you put one in that's an actual excerpt from the story so that makes it even better.

     The Description is also good since it gives a slight insight as what's going to happen. It also doesn't give enough away to make the story pre-predicted. The only problem is the very last sentence 'And thus, a story of afflicted and affluent began.'  Afflicted means to distress with mental or bodily pain  while  affluent means having an abundance of something. It doesn't make sense at all because there is no noun so in general this sentence is not a sentence and it's confusing. you don't know who's being afflicted by what or whom and then you don't establish what the "person" has affluence of.

Plot: 20/20

    The plot as a whole is something that i haven't really come across and it's so different from other stories. It's so well written and executed beautifully. It's different and i think that's great because i've read a lot of fics that include some sort of character that takes people away when they die, but yours is so different in the way that 'Death' is portrayed. Especially towards the end of the second chapter. However so far there seems to be no problem, a story can't really go on without there being an issue to solve or else, no matter how well written, the story will go bland and the reader will lose interest, especially in something as unique as this is.

Characterization: 20 /20

     The way that you've built up the characters whether it be by Young's thoughts and perceptions or just by their actions. Generally when fics put the main character in the hospital they generally don't build a story behind it as to why they were in the hospital but you made it out like that at first but slowly started the reader find out things as to why she was there and you let the reader try and feel what Young is feeling. 

     With Death's (JongUp's) character at first he was a very vacant character. He didn't really have a purpose but slowly as Young is trying to figure out who or what he is the reader gets a slight glimps of who he really is. You let time pass before the characters even interacted which is usually a major issue but for you it seems so smooth in the way that their "relationship" grows and lets the reader explore the world through Young's eyes.
 

Grammar and Spelling: 20 /20

      In all honestly your grammar has absolutely no errors. Everything goes together nicely and there's no moment of confusion as to what's going on. Also, there's no point where the spelling poses an issue, because there really is hardly any spelling errors.

     Just a little extra: Your punctuation is beautiful. i don't think i found any problems with it. you used the right amount of punctuation and used a variety of it. instead of just sticking with commas and making a simple sentence slightly complex, you used semi-colon, dashes, ellipses and everything was just perfect. Personally i'm very picky when it comes to punctuation and it slightly annoys me when people don't use it, but you made me very happy with you use of it.

Flow: 15 /15

     The flow is great. It's smooth and consistent. You don't jump around even when talking about a the past. Also, being able to carry out things for an extended amount of time like when the time lapses and ten or fifteen day's have passed you don't drag on saying what's happened in that time frame you give a little bit of an insight and that's it, you don't make it drag on and just continue on with what you really wanted to be told.

Writing Style: 5 /5

    Your writing style is amazing. You use words that are hardly found on this site. Instead of using simple words you opt forhigher level words without being afraid to venture out into a world where a lot of people don't know the meaning of the word. You throw it out there and don't give an explanation which is professional and very advanced.

Overall Enjoyment: 5 /5

     OMG i loved it. i wanted to keep on reading and even if i was only supposed to read the first chapter i kept on reading onto the second and i just loved it and i didn't want it to end. it was so beautiful. i generally don't read angsty "supernatural" kind of fics cause they all tend to be generally the same, but yours was amazing.

Overall Score: 99 /100

Notes: Totally subscribing.

 ♥♥♥ yuuki-chan123