Title: 3/5

The actual title itself is intreaging, but considering that it's a song title and you did put some of the song lyrics int he descritpion, i expected the story  to derive more from that; but it was still somewhat work and connect witht he story.

Foreward and Description: 9/10

The description is good, it gives a slight overview of the story. The reader is able to know who the story is focused on but giving everyhtong away. The song lyrics that were put in the description were also good, because they had relvance to the story.

Plot:  23/30

The plot is somewhat original but I've seen it other times. The difference is that the ending was completely different than usual. The reader would expect Chanyeol to be the boyfriend from the beginnning but adding in that it was someone else and Chanyeol resembled them makes it unique.

Characters:  15/20

Hwayoung's character isn't developed to an exact point but it was enough since it's only a oneshot a full on character development isn't directly needed since it is so short. You did give an insight to Hwayoung's character so that added some depth and makes her complex instead of just a flat character. 

Grammer and Spelling:  17/20

The use of past tense words in the story is a bit overbearing since it can confuse the time frame that the story is taking place in. The past tense words were sometimes used in a sentance that was written in the present tense but just one word was written in the past tense and that can cause slight confusion. But, aside from that everything was good, the sentance structure was good, there was little to no spelling errors.

Flow:  15/15

The flow of the story is really good. The use of a lighter color and italicized text helps the readers know that it's a different time and that doesn't confuse the reader. Also, the transitions were really good from the past to the present and vice versa. The way that the sentances are played out and put together are also really well done but there were a few sentances that need revising because they might have been a little awkward but they'd still fit the story.

Overall: 82/100

Notes: 

Overall the story was really well done and only a few things need to be revised or taken out. In short you have yourself a really well brought up oneshot. Also, you almost made me cry when Hwayoung's boyfriend, Jason, was in the hospital. That part got to me, and made me teary eyed. Good job.

- yuuki-chan123 -