“Do you like me?”

[Boa Focus]

Boa couldn’t even believe the words that were coming out of her own mouth.

She easily could have ignored everything, run up to her best friend, smack him over the head and yell at him for being late to school and making her worry.

Yet here she was, putting everything out in the open.

It was that jerky and arrogant smirk on his face that made her do this really.

He was standing there, looking all smug as she was going crazy.

She was jealous.

Maybe even a little angry.

Maybe even a little swoony cause the smirk was also very hot.

Oh god, I am really going crazy for, no, because of you Kim Jaejoong.

This was not fair at all.

Why should I be the one flustered about this?

He should be going crazy about this, not just me.

I definitely cannot let Kim Jaejoong be the cool one here.

No, Boa Kwon had to be strong, none of this indecisive worrying and overthinking stuff.

Whatever happens happens.

Bojoong was strong enough for this right?

Her heart became steady, it was a steady beat of forged confidence, but at least it was steady.

“Do you like me?” She repeated

Boa didn’t shift her gaze, twiddle her fingers in embarrassment, or even blush a shade of red; she just stood still and stared at him.

He stood there and stared back.

Well, at least that damn smirk on his face is gone

But it was replaced with a blank stare that gave her skin goose bumps.

Ah, she could feel it now, her steady heart starting to waver, her mind throbbing as cohered thoughts became a jumble again.

She lost it, again.

Damn him.

The stares were silent, but Boa’s eyes were sending daggered messages to him, as if he was a dart board.

Say that I’m crazy.

Hit.

Say that you’re crazy.

Hit.

Say that it was nothing.

Hit.

Say that it was real.

Hit.

Say that it was a joke.

Hit.

Say that you love me.

Hit.

Say anything.

But he didn’t, and they stayed motionless.

Only the gentle breeze shifting the leaves on the tree behind him ascertained Boa that time was still moving.

Seconds became minutes, maybe even hours, and Boa’s body began to ache at the stillness of things.

The thoughts, finally too tired of running around in her mind stopped at a single conclusion.

He didn’t even have the courage to admit or deny anything; she let out a disappointed scoff.

A pang flicked against her heart.

Boa took the first step, brushing past him to leave; if he wasn’t going to give her any answers, just an empty gaze, what was the point.

But just as she got a few inches away from him, just as she was thought that everything was ruined…

He grabbed her wrist before she walked out of his reach.

“How did you know?”

She stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“I doesn’t matter.”

Her voice was shaking.

Another wave of silence washed over them again.

Was he going to do it?

He gingerly thumbed the vein on her wrist.

Oh…

“I like you Boa.”

He gripped her wrist harder.

“I really like you Boa.”

He slid his hand down to hers.

“More than a friend, more than a best friend.”

Finally hearing it from his mouth, a confirmation to settle her thoughts, feelings and emotion.

And with that, she made up her mind.

She wriggled her hand out of his.

Only to turn around in his direction, grab his hand and intertwine their fingers.

“I like you too Jaejoong, more than a super awesome best friend who-I-thought-was-to--to-say-anything-about-it-before-now.”

She smiled cheekily up at him, before suddenly tackling him to the ground, playfully.

“Yah! Aren’t I supposed to swing you around in circles and shout to the world what great luck I have to find such a wonderful girlfriend?” Jaejoong cried between fits of laughter.

“Bwoh, I never said I’d be your girlfriend Kim Jaejoong.” Boa said seriously as she lay on top of him, looking down.

The look on Jaejoong’s face was priceless.

A definite WTF look, Boa wished she had a camera.

“Yup.” She said sitting up as he followed dumbly and sat up too. “Of course, you have to take me out on a date and buy me dinner. Pull out all the stops, flowers, everything. ”

“And you have to take my hands” she took his hands “and chivalrously ask me to be your girlfriend.”

Let it be known that Boa Kwon is not easy.

Jaejoong smiled.

“Okay?” Boa patted his cheek with a smile too.

How could he not.

“Fine, fine Babo Boa~”

“Yah! How can you call your girlfriend babo? You jerk!” Boa playfully smacked him.

“So you’re my girlfriend now?” He said with that damn smirk. “Guess I don’t hav-MMMMPHMMM”

Boa shoved her hand over his face.

I really hate/love that smirk.

But probably hate more than love.
Of course, she could only keep it there for so long until Jaejoong finally decided it was time to breathe again and pried her hand off his face.

“What was that fo-“

Interrupted again.

But this time, it wasn’t her hand.

Kim Jaejoong had just lost his first kiss.

.
.
.
.
.
.

“Boa! Stop daydreaming! Go help Tiffany with the customers!”

“De!” Boa sighed and grabbed her notepad before jogging over to table three.

Plastering on a cheery smile, Boa jotted down an order of Caramel Cappuccino and house special shortbread cake.

On her way back to the kitchen, Tiffany playfully bumped hips with Boa after getting her order down too.

“Unnie~ You were daydreaming again weren’t you? Was it about some guy?” Tiffany jokingly accused.

“Bwoh! No way~”

“Geojitmal! I saw dreamy look on your face! I’ve seen it before!”

“Omo.”

“De unnie! So Spill! We’re you imagining your dream guy?”

“It was nothing, Fany. Just me being stupid.” Boa said with a sad smile.

Fany frowned and was going to infer on but…

“Tiffany! Boa! Now is not the time to chit-chat and gossip! Don’t keep our customers waiting! Paili!” Manager Kangta yelled again from the main counter as new customers walked in.

“De!” The two girls sighed.

Fany went off to seat the new customers as Boa continued on to the kitchen with the orders.

Scenarios like the one Fany saw her daydreaming about came around a lot.

She would always make up different ones though, replaying the same event with different outcomes multiple times.

Daydreaming, making up random scenarios, it was all she could do.

Because Boa Kwon never gave her first kiss to Kim Jaejoong.

She wished she did.

Kim Jaejoong never told her how he really felt.

She wished he did.

They never became boyfriend and girlfriend.

She wished they did.

[Flashback]

Boa stood there staring back at him.

He didn’t even have the courage to admit or deny anything; she let out a disappointed scoff.

A pang flicked against her heart.

Boa took the first step, brushing past him to leave; if he wasn’t going to give her any answers, just an empty gaze, what was the point.

Laughter.

But she stopped.

He laughed.

“Babo Boa, I can’t believe you fell for it.”

It was really all a joke.

How could he do this to her.

Making her go crazy over this, jinja…

“You were awake the whole time huh? Another little one of your pranks right?” She said with a sad smile eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Y-yeah, of c-course”

If Boa wasn’t so focused on keeping her tears at bay, she would have noticed his voice faltering.

If she turned around and looked at him in the face, she could have seen the inner struggle Jaejoong had with himself.

She should have stopped at that point instead of walking on, because it would be obvious that Kim Jaejoong was lying.

And doing a bad job at that.

But a part of her was angry at him, she didn’t want to be friends with someone who toyed with her emotions like that.

But also angry at herself, because Boa Kwon had already fallen for Kim Jaejoong.

They were both just ignorant kids, emotional control was out of the question.

So that was the day Kim Jaejoong let Boa Kwon walk away.




From that day, things changed between Boa and Jaejoong, something she really hoped wouldn’t happen.

She tried to keep things normal, tried to go back to the way things use to be.

But to be best friends with Jaejoong seemed impossible now because…

Because Boa Kwon had fallen for Jaejoong.

That didn’t matter though, Jaejoong was just messing around; and so every time she thought about him, her heart would get this panging feeling again, like someone took a rubber band and snapped it against her heart.

An unrequited love.

And so, to avoid that pain, Boa began to wall herself off from Jaejoong, her best friend.

And Jaejoong, stupid Jaejoong, let it happen.

They had already begun to grow apart.

It started off slow, with  the small things and progressively got worse.

He even stopped going to school.

Boa felt it, and it made her want to cry.

She was losing her best-friend

But this was how things went.

Boa could only take eating lunch alone for so long… before she started to make other friends.

Before, Jaejoong was all she had, and all she needed.

But now, without him, she found solace in others.

Then the rumors began to spread about him, saying that he was a drug dealer and other horrible things.

Boa of course defended her best friend.

She knew better, she knew what the real Jaejoong was like and even though they had grown apart, she remembered her promise to take care of Jaejoong, even if it was from afar.

One day, while lying on her bed and left with her thoughts she began to think about Bojoong.

It made her heart hurt again.

The pangs were back.

If only…

BUZZZZZ

Boa quickly d around her bed to find her phon.

Maybe, just maybe it was Jaejo-

Text Message from: YEON HEE

BOA~ COME OUT WIT US 2NIGHT!!! A COUPLE OF US R GOIN OUT 2 THE FESTIVAL IN THE NEXT TOWN! THERE WILL BE FIREWORKS! PLZZZZ!

Boa sighed,of course it wouldn’t be him.

The festival was tonight, Boa remembered her first time going to watch the fireworks. She was too short then to see over the heads of the older spectators.

[flashback in a flashback]

“Wahhhh~ look it’s starting”

People were pushing and shoving their way to get a better look, not noticing poor Boa who was trying to squeeze through the thicket of people.

Suddenly and hard shove from an older boy knocked against Boa.

She would have fallen back if not for a hand that reached out among the crowd of people and pulled her forward.
“Aiissh Babo~ I told you to stick close to me. Jinja…” An annoyed Jaejoong sighed and pulled Boa with him to the front of the crowd.

But Boa couldn’t hear though, the fireworks were too loud.

“Yah~ Boa! Can you see it?” Jaejoong asked pointing towards the sky.

Boa shook her head.

“Aiiish.” Jaejoong cried and pulled Boa to him.

“Here climb on”

[End Flashback²]

No she couldn’t go to the festival; it held too many memories.

So she text Yeon Hee, a friend she had been hanging out with after the collapse of Bojoong, back and regretfully told her she didn’t feel well enough to go.

Which was partially true… she hadn’t been emotionally well in a long time.

AIIISSSSSH

Boa decided she couldn’t think in the confines of her room.

Boa quickly threw on her jacket and made her way down the road.

There was only one place where she could think.

The field.

Pushing her way through the undergrowth of shrubbery she was greeted by the clearing she had come to love for its quiet and secluded location.

She was taking a big gamble coming here.

She wasn’t the only one who knew its location.

And he was there.

A part of here probably knew he would be there, almost hoped that he would be there.
He was wearing a dark jacket with the hood over his head, but she knew it was him.

She just stood there and stared at his back and hoped… maybe if she stared hard enough, he would turn around.

The pangs, they were coming back.

It was like that for a few minutes, but both stood their ground.

Finally, it snapped, the rubberband pulled snapped against her heart so hard she yelp out a cry.

He flinched, but stood his ground.

He knew she was there.

The anger came again.

Was he seriously not affected by this? What was going on between them?

Did their friendship, something beyond friendship, not mean as much to him as it did to her?

But the anger only lasted for a second before it was replaced, replaced with a wave of longing.

She took small steps first, but they became strides, and soon she was running.

Smashing her body against his back, she wrapped her arms around him.

“Jaejoong-ah” She was crying now “just tell me it was real, tell me you were just being a stupid jerkface, just tell me you like me.”

But he didn’t say anything…

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Jaejoong took a deep breath.

“Jaej-jjoong…” She whimpered.

His hands slid down to hers

He was going to do it this time, she was sure of it.

She sacrificed her pride, but she was sure he was going to do it.

But instead of staying on her hands, he gripped her wrists… and pried her hold off of him before turning around and began walking away.

“I like you Jaejoong.”  She murmured with her head down.

He stopped again.

He still had a chance.

He could stiil do it.

He could still turn back now, back to bojoong, back to her.

Bojoong still had a chance.










He looked down at the ground, couldn't even look her in the eyes.


“I’m sorry.”


[end flashback]

Boa sighed as she carried a tray of orders out of the kitchen.

She knew it wasn’t healthy dwelling on the past, the what could have beens…

But this was all she had of him.

Because that was the day Kim Jaejoong left Boa Kwon.
















 

AN: Chao ban~ Lol, so how was it? ;_; bad? likes? dislikes?i kinda rushed this one...  idk, i actually wrote this chapter thre times with totally different outcomes but finally finished with this one. GG right? OTL  i also actually cut it off at a thousand something words, but kept adding more.... thats what i get for not drafting anything in this story, starting/finishing with scratch OTL... questions will be answered in the next chapter... hopefully. 7holla at some smtown characters riight ^O^ 

+yeah, so this is the end of The Beginning Arc (oxymoron much?) and the next the next few chapters will be the  next arc...  


 &&comments and constructive critisim is always welcomed ^__________^Y

-As always~ LOVE TO ALL REVIEWER, LOVE TO ALL SILENT READERS, <^> TO HATERS