Day 6, Soulmates
A week with your Future Wife
Day 6, Thursday, 9:00am
~Jenby's POV~
I woke up torn between sleep and reality. I couldn't tell mysef that it was okay.. That everything's gonna be fine soon enough.. Because I, myself, I know that wishing it would be next to impossible. I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. What does the fate hold for us? Tears? Sadness? Self-pity? Insecurity? Betrayal?
Taemin is apparently in love with Cherry.. I realized that last night.. Too much for the protective Unnie.. I didn't actually see the progress of their relationship but find it on the verge of an inevitable absolute heart ache.. The way he looked at Cherry.. The way he says with his eyes and his actions just how much he cares.. How much he loves her..
Cherry loves Taemin just the same.. Key, Onew, Minho, Jonghyun and Manager Ahjusshi had been our close friends.. And I knew Onew somehow liked Anna too.. Well, if you're gonna take all his supposed-to-be-hidden-and-unknown looks at Anna, I'm pretty sure you'll get the same feeling when you see Taemin looking at Cherry.. It was pure.. True Love..
But..
I guess the world isn't as kind as I thought it was.. Or fate.. There's no difference really.. Giving you this once in a lifetime opportunity of finding true love, enjoys watching you progress and realize your feelings.. Then rips the both of you painfully apart.. The reality.
What would happen after this?? Will we still be able to continue living like the way it was before or will there be a huge hole inside our hearts that cannot be filled anymore?? I wished somehow.. Just somehow, they could all stay with us here.. It would've been great if that happened.. I don't have to see Cherry cry again the way she did last night when she told Taemin not to forget us.. I don't have to see Anna miss Onew so much after knowing that the older guy also liked her.. I don't have to bear with the sadness creeping and eating everyone of us whenever we miss them. And I didn't have to see Taemin cry and wish that he could just stay..
But SHINee had a great future towards them.. They're not just some Kpop Artist.. They're Hallyu Stars.. All the fans are waiting for them to come back.. Not only those from Korea but also those from every other country who loves SHINee as well. Not to mention, their families and friends waiting for them and praying for them to safely get back home..
If only maknae would be a little bit more selfish.. A little bit more.. That's enough.. I knew that Taemin would be more than just glad if only Maknae would ask him to stay.. Just a single word would be enough to make him stay.. But. We all know she's not like that.. Afterall... She knew Taemin had a job back there in Korea.. Cherry knew he had family and friends waiting for him back in Korea.. And she just couldn't be selfish enough to take Taemin all to herself..
It was horrible.. This feeling stirring up in my chest, messing with my mind and pains my heart. I hated it.. The feeling of anxiety, powerlessness and uselessness.. I hated how I couldn't do anything.. This helplessness.. How many times have I wished that I could control everything? How many times have I wished for reality to be just like my fantasy?
I turned my back from the others and stared at nothing. Maybe writing all those make-believe fanfics is almost the same as pulling my friends with me to hell.. Would they come to hate me for filling their hearts with false hopes? Would they hate me for writing those fanfics that I came to love?
Unlike in those fanfics that I wrote, I could do nothing about the obstacles of real life.. I couldn't control them.. I couldn't control their biases.. I couldn't control the circumstances.. I couldn't control their feelings.. I couldn't control the world.. That's why I cannot assure them that everything will be alright. That even with all the pains and sufferings they endured, even with all the tears they cried, even after all the fears and anxiety.. Everything will still be alright... I couldn't assure them that everything will be worth it in the end. I don't want to tell them those words.. Full of lies.. Full of pain.. Full of sadness.. I can't tell them that it's going to be alright just like how i always did back then..
I hated reality..
Because sometimes..
No matter how hard I try..
I know..
Every End,
It isn't always..
A Happy Ending..
"Noona?" A soft voice woke me up from the sad thoughts only then that I realized that tears were already falling from my eyes. Knowing who it was from, I wiped my tears and sat up.
"G-good Morning.." I greeted him, looking at the other two girls who were still in deep slumber. He sat across me but I refused to look at him in the eye.. I'm selfish.. I could ask Taemin to stay here with Cherry.. I could.. But it's not my decision to make.. Cherry loves him so much yet she was able to let go of him.. I should be too....
"N-noona.. Would y-you tell me the s-same??" I was surprised how his soft voice somehow turned rough so I looked up and saw.. Just how much.. How much he's been suffering inside..
"T-Taemin-ah.." I was frozen in my place.. He was biting his lower lip so hard to stop his tears, it was almost bleeding.. There were dark circles under his eyes.. And he looked like he hadn't slept at all since last night.. I stood up and pulled him out of the house.. Knowing how much he's holding back what he wanted to say, just not to wake up the two girls.. He knew that if Cherry saw him like this, she'll cry again like how she cried last night.. Only then did I realize how painfull it must have been to see the person you love cry helplessly and you can't do anything but watch her suffer..
"Taemin.." I called out his name again.. It was painful seeing this boy cry like this.. Holding back his tears.. Burying his own feelings.. Carrying his own burdens..
"W-would you, Noona? Would you t-tell me the s-same??" He asked me again..
"Ask you to stay? Is that what you meant??" I asked him.. He flinched when I said the word 'stay' but still nodded, eyes focused on the ground.
"Does it matter??" I asked him.. Inhaling deeply, forcing that lump in my throat out of the way..
"Huh?" He looked up to me, confused.. His eyes, filled with mixed emotions I couldn't understand.. Or maybe I just didn't want to decipher and know all his pain..
"Even if I do want you to stay, Does it matter Taemin-ah?? She'll still tell you to leave and live your own life in Korea.. She'll still tell you to continue being the star you were before we all met.. In the end, the only thing she'll ever tell you is to not forget us... And not the other way around, Taemin.." I told him..
"Why?? Why? Noona.. She likes me just the same as I do right?? Then why can't she tell me to stay??" Taemin's voice grew a little in volume as his tears continued to flow.. He wasn't looking at me.. He was looking on the ground with a hand covering his face..
"Just a w-word.. Just a word from her and I'll stay, Noona.. W-why? Why can't she just tell me to stay!!??" He continued to sob..
"As hard as it seems.. You're not the only one who wants you to stay, Taemin.. We all do.. It's just that you have responsibilities from where you came from and we have ours here... You guys will have to continue being the Hallyu stars you are and we all just have to go back into being a normal fangirl.." I told him and sat on a bench in front of the house's gate.
"Go b-back? I don't want you girls to be only fangirls.. You're our friends!!!" He exclaimed.. It took me by surprise.. Well.. Yeah.. Maybe we don't have to go back to our past lives afterall.. We're moving on..
"Yes.. We're friends... We'll continue being friends and support you no matter what.. We'll also do our best here, finish college and find a decent job.. When we're done, we'll visit you in Korea some time soon.. But I hope you guys won't get tired from waiting.. We all know that we're only at the starting line.." I said and pulled him to sit beside me on the bench..
"B-but.." Taemin sobbed, looking at me.. I gestured him to keep silent and looked away.. Our silence stayed for a few more seconds before I figured I have to ease his pain..
"Is it painful, Taemin-ah?"
He nodded..
"It's okay to cry when you're feeling pain.. It's okay to be sad when you feel neglected.. But I want you to remember that you're not the only one feeling that way.. Cherry feels that way too.. I don't know how much she loves you....(pause)
Simply because I don't know how wide the universe is.." I told him with a teasing smile..
It was heart-lifting seeing him blush even though still crying, sobbing a little but listening.
"I feel that way too.. I'm sad because I won't be able to hang out with Key anymore.. Anna's sad too because she won't be able to see Onew anymore.. Ate Addy's a little bit sad because you've been like a little brother to her even though she teases you a lot.. That just shows how much she loves you and Cherry.. Even Cherry's Mom and Dad, Risa, Imee, Izza, Esmie.." I stopped for a bit, wiping the tears on the verge of falling..
"I'm sure Key, Onew, Minho, Jonghyun and you feel that way too.. We all feel that way, Taemin-ah.. But everyone wants to do the right thing to do.. For you, SHINee to go back to Korea and reach for your dreams.. For us, to continue supporting you and loving you all the wa-"
"What if I don't want to do the right thing, Noona??!! What if for once in my life I want to be selfish and stay?!" Taemin shouted as he stood up..
"Okay.. (sigh) Just in case, you really stayed here with us.. With Cherry.. Let's just say that everything went fine just like how you wanted it to be.. But sooner or later, you're going to feel your loss, Taemin-ah.. You're going to feel regret and start questioning yourself, What if's!! And then what? Will that be the time when you realize that you should have gone back to Korea with your Hyungs??!" I asked him, anger lacing my words..
"N-no!! I'm sure I won't regre-"
"How can you be so sure, Taemin-ah?? We're young.. You're a boy.. You're a young boy!!(pokes on his chest) Sooner or later, if you stayed here with us, you're gonna see those opportunities that you let slip by today because of that stupid stubborness of yours and say 'I should have been like that' and 'I should have been like this'! Do you know who will hurt the most when that time comes, Taemin??" I asked him..
"No.. N-noona.."
"Answer me, Taemin! Who do you think will hurt the most when the time comes that you see all those supposed-to-be-yours opportunities at other young boys your age?? Answer me!!" I asked him again.. It was hard to see him imagine all those situations that I'm putting him through.. Because I know how painful it must be..
"C-cherry.. But I won't blame her!! It's my decision! I just want to stay with her.." He refused to look at me and continued to stare at the side.. It seems that he calmed down already..
"That's right.. Cherry.. Your beloved Cherry.. Our Maknae.. She's going to blame herself for being selfish for not pushing you towards your dream even though how much you say that you won't blame her.. She'll still blame herself in the end knowing how much you really love dancing and performing.. She'll still get hurt for this decision that you're insisting on taking.." I told him..
"B-but.. I love Cherry with my whole heart, Noona!! I'll fight for her if I have to!" He told me..
"Love.. And you love dancing too right?? Taemin.. The world isn't as easy as it seems.. It isn't as kind as you think it is.. You can't have everything.. You can't have the best of both worlds..You're not ing Hanna Montana, Lee Taemin! After a few more years that love of yours might be nothing but a foolish feeling.." I waited for him to reply.. A few more seconds and I knew he's torn between his love for Cherry and his fear of regret..
"All right.. Then tell me, Taemin... Tell me that you hate singing.. That you hate dancing.. That you despise getting dressed up like a doll and your face painted.. That you hate performing with your hyungs.. That you hate all those Fans that tried to touch you.. That you hate their smiles whenever you go on the stage.. That you hate the screaming and the cheering you and your hyungs get whenever you perform.. That you hate everything you ever had, everything you ever experienced while being the Kpop Hallyu Star you are.. That you're never.. Never gonna perform on stage again.. Because you hate it too much.. Only then will I support you with this selfish decision of yours.." I watched his beautiful face twist in anxiety as everything that I said materialize in his mind.. I held my stance when he fell on the ground, both his hands holding his head.. He had to make that decision.. Between the love of his life and his dream because if he doesn't.. I'm afraid he'll lose them both..
~Taemin's POV~
Everything Noona told me flashed through my mind like a movie.. Everything.. The fans... My hyungs.. My family.. My friends.. Singing.. Dancing.. Performing with everybody.. Am I ready to turn my back on it?
But I love Cherry with my whole heart!! My head was starting to hurt.. Too much thinking between my dream and my love.. How could I choose? How will I choose?
"I... I.. I-"
"DOn't force yourself, Taemin-ah.." A soft pair of arms pulled me back to reality...
"(Smack) What were you trying to make Taemin say??" I heard Jamie Noona ask Jenby Noona..
"AW!! What?? Right now, He still hopes that he can keep both.. Stay here with Cherry and Dance.. But there's no assurance that he'll be able to get both.. Because there will be a time that he needs to choose only one.. If he keeps this up, I'm afraid he'll lose both.. He's not strong enough to be able to protect two of his loves from bad people.." Jenby Noona said..
"And where the heck did you find those??" Jamie asked again..
"Mga Hindi makakalimutang aral mula sa Beast Master and One piece.."Jenby Noona shrugged..
"YOU!!"
Right now?? Maybe.. Maybe Noona's right.. For now.. I can't have them both.. For now, I'm too young and too weak to protect Cherry.. Too young to say that I can be a superstar and have a girlfriend all at the same time.. I looked up and saw Cherry tearing up..
"Taemin-ah.." Not knowing that my tears were already falling, she wiped them away for me..
"Noona.. I-.. I'm sorry.." I said, looking at Cherry and holding her hands.. I stood up with her..
"I don't want to lie.. I love dancing.. I love singing with my hyungs.. I love our fans.. I love performing.. I love trying on different kinds of styles.. But I love Cherry too.. A lot.." I said, my eyes focused only on one girl..
"I was so stubborn I couldn't get what Jenby Noona was trying to tell me..(chuckles)"
~Jamie's POV~
"Ano bang pinag uusapan niyong dalawa ni Taemin kanina??" I asked Jenby while we were alone.
"Wala lang.." She shrugged..
"Anong wala lang? Eh parang nag aaway na nga kayo kanina eh.." I asked her again..
"Ewan ko.. Di ko rin alam eh.. Kapag binabalikan ko yung dialog namin kanina, halos di ko na rin magets kung bakit nga ba kami nag away.. Pero sabi naman ni Taemin na gets niya na kung ano yung sinasabi ko.." She said.
"At ano naman un?" I asked her..
"Di ko na nga alam eh.. Siguro ayoko lang na magdesisyon siya ng bigla bigla nang hindi iniisip ung consequences ng gagawin nya at ung feelings ng ibang tao.. Kaya ko siya naaway ng ganun.." She said while scratching her head..
"Hmmm.. Anong gagawin natin bukas?" I asked her changing the topic..
"Bukas??"
"Oo.. Bukas.. Bukas na daw dadating sila Jaejoong eh." I asked her..
"Ba't ako tinatanong mo?? Jaejoong mo naman pala ung dadating eh.. Hindi naman nila kasama si Changmin kaya waley akong problema.." She told me, slouching on her seat..
"Malungkot ka pa rin ba dahil hindi makakarating si Changmin?? Yung totoo.." I asked her..
"Ha? Hindi no.. At saka nagtext na sakin si Changmin, nagsorry na sya kasi daw di sya makakapunta.." Jenby said with a goofy smile..
"Ewan ko sayo!"
~Cherry's POV~
I don't know what Taemin and Jenby Unnie talked about since the only part that Jamie and I heard was when Unnie was asking Taemin to say that he hated everything about being a Hallyu Star.. But Taemin nor Unnie wanted to tell us about it.. They said it was something between brothers.. XD
Taemin felt a bit more lively now.. I don't see him that sad and confused anymore so I guess their talk somehow helped him.. He seemed more focused and determined to bring out his best in their upcoming concert.. I'm happy that I could see him doing his best.. I'm happy to be able to show him support.. But.. But why am I so sad every time I remember that the his time with us is slowly ticking to zero?
Jamie, Jenby and I went to school, wishing that the classes would soon. Just so we could go back to where the others were.. It was a bit hard to accomplish all our tasks with our hearts in a different dimension.
"Ahhh! Makakauwi na rin.." Jenby exclaimed after our P.E. Prof announced the dismissal..
"Teka pahingahin niyo muna ako.." Jamie said as she sat down on a bench followed by Jenby and me..
"Nagtext nga pala si Key kanina.." Jenby said as she showed us the text sent by Key.
Key: Can I snatch the little girl that made our maknae's stay here in the Philippines worthwhile?? I'm waiting outside your school.. Can you kidnap her for me?? <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
"Anong sasabihin ko??" Jenby asked me..
~Key's POV~
I'm glad that Taemin decided to stay with us. To comeback with us to Korea.. Actually, We were all quite ready for the worst case scenario.. We knew that Taemin has fallen deeply in love with Cherry.. We all knew the possibility that Taemin might want to stay with Cherry more than go back to Korea with us.. To tell you the truth, we were all scared that Taemin would leave the group. That's why when Taemin told us that he's coming back with us to Korea, we all felt free from the thorn in our throats. Everybody cheered of course.. But We could all see the pain in Taemin's eyes while saying those things.
"Are you sure??" I asked him..
"Yeah, Hyung.. It's my final decision.." Taemin said..
I saw determination and pain combine in his eyes and couldn't help but feel like our maknae matured a little bit during our stay here. And I couldn't be more thankful..
I texted with Jenby and told her that I'd like to have a date with Cherry after their class in a different manner.
Jenby: We just finished our class.. We're going out now.. Are you just outside the gate??
Key: Yeah.. Manager Ahjusshi lent me a blue car..
Jenby: All right.. See you..
I waited for a few more minutes and saw them coming out the gates with some of their friends.. Jenby saw me immediately and knocked on the car's window while Jamie pushed Cherry to get inside the car.
"Hey, Kidnapper.. There's our Princess.. We'll go home first so make sure that she gets home before it gets dark, okay??" Jenby told me..
"Roger that.. Ready??" I asked Cherry..
"Yeah..." She nodded..
"Bye bye!!" Jamie and Jenby waved at us as we started to go..
The ride started quietly.. We were on our own worlds.. Drown in our own thoughts. But I could feel the sadness from her heart.. Pouring slowly.. I felt bad as though I snatched a candy from a little girl and made her cry.
"Is it really okay??" I asked her, breaking our silence..
"Hmm?"
"Is it really okay to let him go?" I asked her again..
"Y-yeah.. But you see, Oppa.. I'm not letting him go.. He's here in my heart.." She answered, holding her hand close to her heart..
"*grin* That sounds awefully chessy, Cherry-ah." I ..
"*pout* O-oppa.." She blushed..
"Where did you get that?? Did you get that from Jenby??" I continued to laugh as she joined me laughing..
"I'm happy that you feel that way.." I told her..
"It was thanks to everyone.. Everyone is very supportive.. Even though it's gonna be a little sad when you're all gone.." She said..
"Don't worry.. I'll give you something that would represent your love.. So every time, you misses Taemin.. You can look at it and let it give you some strength.. The same goes for Taemin.." I explained to her..
"Huh?? Something that would represent our love?? *blush*" She asked me..
"Yeah.. I asked Jamie and Jenby yesterday and they gave me the perfect idea.. Look at that piece of paper.." I said pointing at the paper folded on the carboard.
"This?" She opened it up and looked at what's inside..
"Couple necklaces??" She asked me again..
"Yeah.. Though I need a little help from you about it.. I don't know what kind of necklace Taemin would like and I thought that if you chose it for Taemin then it will have more value to him than any other necklaces around.." I told her..
"*smile* Thank yOu, Key Oppa.."
We arrived at the mall and proceeded to the jewelry shop.. I let the little girl go around and search for the necklaces she likes.. It's been long since we started searching so I looked at where she was.. I noticed that she was looking at a pair of rings. It has the design 'Infinity' and 'Soulmates' carved inside.. It was simple but it was amazing. I could already imagine Taemin wearing it..
"Do you like that??" I asked her, startling her a bit..
"O-oppa! Ahh yeah.. Unfortunately, it's not a pendant.." She answered still looking at it.
"You have great taste, Ma'am.. Do you know that the man who designed this ring has a special thought in mind while he was making this pair of rings??" The salelady gave us both a pamplet of the ring.. It was a limited edition pair of ring by a japanese designer..
"Do you know the movie, 50 First dates?? The same as that story the designer's lover had a short-term memory loss.. So every day was like the day they first met.. The woman always forgets their love, their memories, their promises. That's why the designer made this ring.. The word 'Soulmates' represents their everyday.. That even though every day is a new day for the woman and that woman would always forget him by the time she closes her eyes, she will still remember their Love when she wakes up.. Though she may not remember her lover, their memories, their promises.. She will still remember their love with that ring.. The 'Infinity' sign is wordly 'Until the end of time'.. No matter how many times she may forget, their love will never die.. It's a pretty valueable ring that's why it's on Limited Edition.. That's the last pair of ring we have from that designer.." The saleslady explained and looking at Cherry.. I knew that somehow she had fallen more in love with those pair of rings than she already was..
"Then we'll buy it.." I announced, waking up the dreamy Cherry..
"Ehh??!?! But!!!"
"Ssshhh.. It's the best pair of ring for the two of you, I believe.. Sorry, Cherry.. I found it first.. :P " I told her..
A/N: Sorry for the long post?? I don't know if you'll like it but I hope you do.. D ako makapaniwalang may subscriber dito.. XD GOLLY!! HAhahahah!!! Sensya na kung ngayon lng ako nakapag update.. Hahaha..
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