“Myungsoo-ah,” Sungjong runs his fingers through Myungsoo’s hair. “Saranghaeyo.”

Sungjong is happy, because Myungsoo loves him back.

In fact, Sungjong hasn’t known this much happiness before in his life. He can’t think of a time before Myungsoo, he can’t think of a time after Myungsoo. And it’s not just because he can’t think of anything when he’s around Myungsoo.

“Sungjong-ah, it’s dinner time.”

“Later, umma. I’m with Myungsoo right now.”

Sungjong isn’t sure why his mother frowns.

After all, Sungjong’s happy right now. Shouldn’t she be happy for him?

Sungjong’s mom refuses to let Sungjong go to school with Myungsoo.

This is ridiculous. Sungjong isn’t sure how long ago she said this. Sungjong isn’t sure because she hasn’t stopped saying it. Her voice invades his mind, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats, until it’s just become ingrained there.

Sungjong hates it.

He wants Myungsoo ingrained there.

Sungjong looks up at the clock. Tick. Time moves slowly without Myungsoo. Tock. Time moves slowly without Myungsoo. Tick. Time moves slowly. Tock. Time moves. Tick. Time.

“Sungjong, please answer the question on the board.”

His eyes widen, and for a moment it seems as though the professor will take mercy on Sungjong. Then the bright, wide eyed boy runs from the room.

I need to find Myungsoo.

Sungjong is sitting in the library. This is where he met Myungsoo, so Myungsoo should come find him here. Shouldn’t he?

Tick. Why aren’t you coming? Tock. Why aren’t you here yet? Tick.

“Sungjong-ah.”

Sungjong shakes his head.

“Sungjong-ah, where are you?”

I’m right here. Where are you.

“Sungjong! We’ve been looking all over for you. You didn’t come home after school today, and the principal said something strange happened in class.” It’s his mom. It’s not Myungsoo. It’s not who he’s waiting for.

Sungjong stands up, walks after her.

Sungjong stands up, walks toward her.

Sungjong stands up, falls right back down.

Why aren’t you coming? Tock. Where are you? Tick. I’ll keep waiting. Tock. Keep waiting for you.

“Umma, I want Myungsoo.”

She hushes him, and coddles him, and doesn’t bring him Myungsoo.

I miss you. I want you. Where are you. Come to me.

He rubs his cheeks against his pillow. Is it this soft? Your skin? Your hair? Your love.

“Sungjong-ah, it’s dinner time.”

“Later, umma. I’m with Myungsoo right now.”

Sungjong isn’t sure why she frowns again.

Sungjong’s father comes home late again. “Did you find anything?” He shakes his head. There’s nothing to find. They both know this. They just don’t want to say it.

Sungjong knows this. He just doesn’t want to accept it.

“Is he eating again yet?”

“Not without Myungsoo.” Sungjong’s father nods. Reaches into his bag.

“Sorry I had to bring it to work today. We thought we might be able to find some leads.” She hushes him. It’s okay. It’s really not that hard. It’s ten times harder for Sungjong.

“Sungjong-ah, it’s time for dinner.”

“Later umma, I’m with Myungsoo right now.”

“Your father’s home. He brought Myungsoo with him.” Sungjong jumps out of his bed, out of his room, out of his mind.

He runs his fingers through the soft brown fuzz. “Myungsoo-ah.”

His mother pretends this isn’t ridiculous.

Sungjong is feeding the brown bear soup, and getting it all over the dinner table. He couldn’t be happier. Myungsoo-ah, are you full yet? You should eat more. His mother pretends this isn’t ridiculous. Myungsoo-ah, you’re a messy eater. His father pretends this isn’t ridiculous. Myungsoo-ah, you can’t be picky. Eat your vegetables too!

They just wish Sungjong would eat as much as he’s feeding Myungsoo.

Sungjong is still feeding the bear when they leave the room.

“How long do you think it will take?” Months, maybe years. The father doesn’t answer. “He’ll be alright, won’t he?” Eventually. The father doesn’t answer. “I think he’ll get over it.” Perhaps. The father doesn’t.

It’s been a year and a half since Myungsoo has disappeared from the prefecture. Seventeen years old, attractive, intelligent, and presumed dead.

Tick.

There’s half a year before the firm closes this case.

Tock.

There’s half a year before everyone else gives up.

Tick.

There’s half a year before they lose hope.

But time means nothing to Sungjong. Because this case has never been opened. Because there is nothing to give up. Because Myungsoo is his hope.

There’s half a year, before Sungjong joins Myungsoo.

Tick.

Presuming he isn’t there already.