All of my nerves were on high as I slowly reached for the metal doorknob. A large pit of anxiety stuck in my stomach and as many different thoughts ran through my head. Will he be happy to see me? Does he miss me like I miss him? What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if I did something to piss him off? Questions kept flying through my mind as I wrapped my fingers around the cool doorknob. Never have I felt so unsure about my relationship with Jinwoon and it scared me. I felt time slow down as I twisted the knob and pushed the wood door open. Nothing prepared me for the scene I saw. Miss A’s Suzy standing in front of Jinwoon with her arms wrapped around his neck, her body pressed against him, and her lips connected with his. Jinwoon wasn’t resisting the kiss at all. His strong arms that always held me were wrapped around her, his wonderful soft lips that used to kiss me were kissing her, and his body that always had such a warmth that made me feel so secure was pressed against her body. A large pain throbbed in my chest as my heart broke. A huge wave of anxiety, sadness, and heartbreak rushed through me as I stood paralyzed staring at my Jinwoon with another girl. My legs felt shaky underneath me and tears started rolling down my face. I have never felt such sadness in my entire life. Then Jinwoon saw me, pulled Suzy away from him, and said my name in astonishment. His eyes were filled with panic and uncertainty. Before he could say anything else, I ran for it. I ran down the long hallways with tears stinging my eyes and sobs escaping from my mouth. Once I reached outside, I stopped and collapsed on the hard pavement. Tears were streaming down my face as I cradled myself. I couldn’t stop the sadness that encompassed me so the tears and sobs just kept coming. All alone, I cradled myself on the cold pavement in the dark night.

Jinwoon’s POV

                Minutes before the concert, I sat in my dressing room alone. I preferred the quiet before a performance so that I can mentally prepare myself. Even though I have performed many times and I have a lot of confidence, I still get nervous and I hate mistakes. In order to prevent myself from making a mistake because of my nerves, I sit alone in my quiet dressing room. While I sat with my eyes closed in a chair, a knock sounded from the door and Suzy walked in. With a grin on her pretty face, she walked over to me and pulled me out of the chair. We stood with our hands clasped as she spoke.

                “Jinwoon, you will be great as always,” she said with a sweet smile. Then she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. Instantly, and without hesitation, I returned her kiss and I wrapped my arms around her. Things are so easy with Suzy; I guess that is why I am so attracted to her. A small twinge of guilt goes through me every moment I spend with her. The door to my dressing room opened and I first thought that it was one of the other 2AM members, but I was wrong. I opened my eyes and saw G.Na. She stood in the door way with tears rolling down her face and with a burning look of betrayal in her eyes. I immediately pulled away from Suzy.

                “G.Na,” I said. My mind clouded with so many things to say to her, but, before I could say anything, she ran. Wanting to go after her, I started to run, but Suzy put a hand on my arm and stopped me.

                “Please explain to me what just happened,” demanded Suzy. “That was G.Na the singer correct?” I nodded my head slowly, but I did not turn towards Suzy. My eyes stayed focused on where G.Na stood just a moment before. My heart ached for her, and her expression of betrayal and sadness wouldn’t leave my mind. “Jinwoon, explain.” Suzy pulled on my arm so that I faced her. I told her my relationship with G.Na. As I spoke, she stared at the floor absorbing everything that I was saying. “So, do you still care about her, or do you care about me?” She stared at me with great intensity in her eyes. Then, Jo Kwon came to the door.

                “Jinwoon, let’s go,” he said. Without answering Suzy’s question, I left my dressing room and followed Jo Kwon to the stage. Throughout the concert, my mind was clouded with the images of G.Na’s expression of betrayal and hurt and Suzy’s intense expression from her eyes. I made many mistakes throughout the entire concert; I just could not concentrate. My other members kept giving me looks that ranged from frustration to concern. In between two of our songs, Seulong put his hand over his microphone and whispered in my ear, “Get your act together.” No matter how much I tried I couldn’t focus. Questions raced through my mind. Is G.Na okay? Will she let me explain? Why did I do this to her? What do I say to G.Na? What do I say to Suzy? How did I get into this mess? More questions raced through my mind as I continued to perform half-heartedly. Once the show was over, I immediately went to my dressing room while avoiding the criticism from the other 2AM members. I opened the door and found that Suzy wasn’t there. The room stood empty with my cell sitting on the table. I picked it up and went to G.Na’s number. Hesitation came over me and prevented me from pressing the call button. What could I say? How could I explain? I sighed as I set my phone back on the table and slumped into a chair.

Why did things turn out this way?