Interlude III: BROKEN SOUL

Summary:  The broken past of the rockstar Kim JaeJoong

A week after discharge from the hospital.

YunHo talk to his wife about Mrs. Kim and he did advise JaeJoong to apologize to Mrs. Kim while visiting the sick woman. JaeJoong tried his best to forget all the thing that has happened before, but his heart still hurting from the memory of his childhood.

YunHo knows that his wife wasn’t a cold hearted person, he knows sometimes JaeJoong still visiting the old woman even just looking from far.

“Umma, could you talk to Jae, he is a bit stubborn lately. You know that Umma Kim was sick and really want to meet him. I know and I really understand how much he hurt before, but isn't time to start anew.”

“Yun, trust him like you always do. I can talk to him but its still his choice to go and meet her.” Mrs Jung said, knowing what her son in law was thinking, she knows that JaeJoong was ready to forget about his past, it depends on that man to see his mother or not. “Don’t rush him, plus he still recovering and you don’t want to see him depressed, it’s not good for his recovery.”

YunHo just sighed, a part of himself knows that his mother was correct. He did his best so that his loved ones will never get hurt or regret because of his own stubbornness. While still preparing the formula milk for the infant, he tries to think what to do next.

Junsu wiped his mother’s tears, it's almost two months from the first time his mother collapses and get . The first word that leaves his mother’s lips was ‘JaeJoong’, his older brother. However, he did his best to meet the other and a month ago, he almost causing his older brother miscarriage, luckily that doesn't happen.

JunSu remembers that since he was born, he never treats JaeJoong like sibling what more to treat like a brother. JaeJoong always alone, he always wonders about that and his mother was hating JaeJoong too. When he was fourteen, finally his mother blurts out the truth and that was the first time he saw his sixteen older brother cried so hard. People are so right when they said that truth are hurtful, but to him what was more hurtful was how people can’t accept the truth.

He did love his brother, through JaeJoong had a different father but for his mother to judge JaeJoong like that was so unfair. He too did regret for not be able to treat his brother and talk to him like sibling should be, YooChun was right when he said that he was the same like his mother. Be cruel to the innocent person.

Seeing his mother lying on the hospital bed, lifelessly like that make him feel guilty for not being able to brought JaeJoong seeing their mother.

‘Hyung, I’m sorry for everything.’ JunSu stop his hand as his phone was vibrating since he silent it. A name appearing, make his hope high.

He takes the call, “Hyung....”

YunHo put the phone with a disappointment, he doesn't really know what he should really do without hurting anyone. His wife's stubbornness sometimes makes him lose his patience.

“Yun, could you help me with this?” JaeJoong said, but YunHo saw nothing that needs his help.

“I mean, brought me to her. Please be together with me, this time too."

The words that his wife just said blow his mind, is it a dejavu or a reality. Through from the words that JaeJoong choose from referring Mrs.Kim as Umma.

He smiles while pulling his wife into his arms, “Thank you”

JaeJoong looks terrible as he realizes the mother that hate him so much was lying on the hospital bed. He silent while hiding behind his husband back, hand still holding to YunHo's arm. He doesn't know how to approach the sick woman, the courage that he build was none when he saw her. Inside, he too feels the sadness.

“Umma... Wake up, JaeJoong hyung is here." JunSu said while trying to wake up his mother.

YunHo can feel JaeJoong’s trembling hands, although his wife was clenching on his arm tightly, feeling afraid, unsecured even just to see his own mother.

JaeJoong just silent, he doesn’t even know what to say. The warm heat from his husband hand give him some courage to walk nearer to the woman on the bed. “I’m sorry…”

JaeJoong gather his courage and slowly his hand moves to hold his mother’s hand. “Umma…” Although he manage to say it, he really doesn’t know what to say to the woman that never though him as her child. “I’m sorry, to be born in such a way. I’m sorry for everything that happen.”

Mrs.Kim finally wakes up, she smile a bit, but she did regret realizing that she actually loves JaeJoong in that state, her late husband was right. She regrets her decision for not giving JaeJoong her love as a mother. She wants to speak, but she can’t found her voice to speak instead she just manages to cry. Hearing her son heartbreaking confession, she wants to hug JaeJoong but she can’t even moves.

“Umma, do you know that before this… I  … I hate you so much. I’m allowed to hate you, right?.” From the looks everyone can tell the hurtful feeling but no one knows how much he was feeling it.

“I’m growing up with the hateful you held for me... I thought I do make you pay for making me feel like that. I want to return the hateful back to you.” He stops again as tears were flowing on his cheeks.

“I thought I do hurt you and make you sorry, I did make you feel sorry but then I ended up hurting myself too. Everytime I said I can’t forgive you, I hate you but the end I was hating myself saying that to you.”

“My baby...” Finally Mrs.Kim manages to let her voice out.

“I’ll forgive you for hating my existance and forgive me for being ungrateful that you already give birth to me.” JaeJoong still standing beside, despite he really wants to hug the woman but he didn’t do it.

YunHo was silents as his wife just standing in front of his mother in law, he never thought JaeJoong finally agreed to face his Umma in that condition. While JunSu was crying hearing the broken confession, the hurtful feeling his brother facing all the time during he was growing up, he knows it, he too was the cause of it. If before he was hated by JaeJoong’s friend, now he knows that he deserve to be hated.

“Jae Hyung, Umma… Umma got , the doctor said it was *paralysis, the common disabilities resulting from the , causing her to have a problem with controlling her movement, walking and balancing her body. In a week, the doctor  will do *endovascular procedures to remove the blood clot if she was fine enough to do it if not we have to wait till she was stable to perform the procedure.” JunSu said as he can tell from his mother’s look that trying to tell something and he knows that JaeJoong still doesn’t knows about Mrs.Kim condition.

“Jae…” YunHo touches his wife’s soft hand, knowing that JaeJoong was quite surprise with the news.

At that moment, JaeJoong turns around, looking at his husband with his teary eyes and wet face, “I need some time…” He lets the warm hand go and walking to the door before dissappears through it.

“It’s my fault… what did you said before, just came true. I really am regretting this very much. How can I hate him very much before… I must be blind for not seeing that another son of mine. He turns perfectly fine without me, I.. I don’t deserve for a forgiveness, he was right to hate me.” Mrs.Kim said looking as the son of her that already dissappears through the door.

“Please don’t say that Umma… everyone make a mistake, it was nice to be forgiven and please give another chance for you and for him too. I know Jae, he was like that but for sure, he already forgive you. He still respect and love you as his Umma. I know it, the moment he asked me to visit you today.” YunHo said holding his mother in law’s left hand hoping that can gives her some relieves and hope.

“I’m glad he found someone like you…” She said with a weak smile. “JunSu ah… I’m sorry for asking you doing this for me, this Umma of yours was really weak to face your brother… I’m wrong, for not letting you near him, for letting you to hate him as much as I hate him before… Umma is sorry, JunSu ah”

JunSu stays silent as he had no words to say.

“Go after him, take him home and please take care of him, YunHo ah.” Mrs.Kim asked his son in law to be with his son as she knows the fragile son of her surely be having a breakdown right now.

YunHo too walking away after bow to her, “I will… Umma.”

JaeJoong looks from his kitchen, YunHo was pushing his mother that sitting on the wheel chair to their backyard. He glads that YunHo was a great husband, YunHo was the one that talked to him after he did feel broken hearing about his mother illness. With YunHo encouragement, he talks and finally repairing his relationship with his mother. A few weeks after Mrs.Kim got discharge from the hospital after the operation, he talks to JunSu and with JunSu permission, he and YunHo brought Mrs.Kim to live with them. 

Sometimes JunSu would drop by to see his mother, JaeJoong could say that their relationship was a bit better than before. Seeing his husband smile and the way YunHo treating his mother gently really make him feel proud, knowing that he did choose the right person.

YunHo was a great help aside their children, while he was busy with their newborn baby MoonBin, his mother wasn’t been push aside to be ignored. Sometimes, he too had a great time chatting and massaging his mother as a therapy that been recommeded by the physical therapists. Through the blood clot was finally removed, still the post treatment after the procedure has to be done to make sure she was healthy.

After all, his late father was right, his mother wasn’t really hating him and he doesn’t regret his decision to take care of her while she was recovering. JaeJoong took the tray that was full with some fruits and a jug of orange juices towards the outside backyards where his mother and YunHo was sitting.

Looking at his son that giving his baby brother a bottle milk, erase the worried inside his mind, ChangMin was a good brother just like JiYool always said. The best Oppa she ever had. Indeed JaeJoong was proud having a son like him.

NOTE:

*Paralysis - Paralysis is one of the most common disabilities resulting from . The paralysis is usually on the side of the body opposite the side of the brain damaged by , and may affect the face, an arm, a leg, or the entire side of the body. This one-sided paralysis is called hemiplegia if it involves complete inability to move or hemiparesis if it is less than total weakness. patients with hemiparesis or hemiplegia may have difficulty with everyday activities such as walking or grasping objects. Some patients have problems with swallowing, called dysphagia, due to damage to the part of the brain that controls the muscles for swallowing. Damage to a lower part of the brain, the cerebellum, can affect the body's ability to coordinate movement, a disability called ataxia, leading to problems with body posture, walking, and balance.

*Endovascular Procedures for Ischemic treatment - Another treatment option is an endovascular procedure in which specially trained doctors try removing the blood clot by sending a catheter to the site of the blocked blood vessel in the brain. Sometimes these procedures involve tPA being administered directly into the blood clot (called intra-arterial treatment) to help dissolve the blockage. In other procedures, the doctor may attempt to remove the clot. Researchers are still conducting research to determine the best clinical protocols for endovascular procedures. (Patients must meet certain criteria to be eligible for this procedure.)

P/S: Sorry for the late post of the last interlude part, I just get back from vacation. I hope all of you enjoy this interlude. For those who leave a comments, thanks a lot I really love it and keep commenting. :)