Interlude II: BROKEN SOUL

Summary:  The broken past of the rockstar Kim JaeJoong

It was a hard day for JaeJoong, he walks in the rain without any protection or even try to take a shelter somewhere. He doesn’t feel the coldness even it was raining so hard. YooChun’s rooftop apartment through wasn’t so far but he really did feel it was so far.

Reaching the rooftop after taking the stair till the fifth floor, he knocked a few times. A few minutes later, a 45 years old woman appears, Mrs. Park Hanna, YooChun’s mother. She was a nurse and treat JaeJoong like her son. “What are you doing in this weather?” The rain was pouring hard outside and the teenage looks like a soaked abandoned dog.

JaeJoong’s lip was shivering as he was feeling cold and his clothes were wet enough. There’s a small bag he was carrying beside him. She pulls JaeJoong inside, making the teenage stands in the front door, she opens the small alcove where the shoes were placed, taking the fluffy slipper used inside the house for him.

Looking at the messy state of JaeJoong, the woman runs inside her house only to bring back a towel for JaeJoong. “Let’s get inside, dear.”

JaeJoong steps into the house using the slipper provide by the woman. His sob still can be heard, he hates to cry, but when he cried there’s no way he can stop.

“Jae hyung?”

“Chunnie!!” JaeJoong saw his best friend walks out of a room.

“What happen?” YooChun saw the trouble looks from JaeJoong’s eyes, it’s not even a week after JaeJoong father’s death.

JaeJoong silent. He doesn’t know how to say it. “Can I stay here for a while?”

YooChun smile sympathy for the older, “Of course, you promise me remember that we are going to the audition together tomorrow.” YooChun always know that JaeJoong for sure will tell him someday about what truly had happened.

JaeJoong almost forget about the audition. He just wants peace right now.

Three years ago, JaeJoong remembered he runs to YooChun’s house when he was told to get out of his family house by his own mother. Now, he back here just for a single reason, a single request from his now fiancé.

He remembers a week after he runs to YooChun, he was standing in front of his family house with YooChun like he was doing now. Then when his mother saw him, before he could tell her the happy news that he got accepted to be a trainee in one of the entertainment company. His own mother asked him to get lost and never come back to that house. It’s hurt him and now he was remembering that moment. He doesn’t want to come but YunHo said to him whatever happens, he had that man beside him. YunHo accept him as himself, he proud to know someone like YunHo, through that man deserve someone better than him. 

“Let’s go…” YunHo said as he rings the bell, a few moments later a woman's voice can be heard. JaeJoong’s hand tighten as he remembers his Umma’s voice, something that he couldn’t forget about.

YunHo answer the woman question calmly and he can feel that JaeJoong was nervous and it worse than when JaeJoong meets his family. YunHo knows the reason JaeJoong pulling prank for his propose and the coldness JaeJoong had around others caused by the woman in front of them. He remembers very well tears that boy had shed when asking for a forgiveness for the prank was only because he doesn't really trust a relationship, doesn't trust the love for other person and all the hapiness in this world that he doesn't deserve even a bit.

The gate was unlocked and they get inside, the front door was opened to reveal forty eight years old woman in front of them. “Who are you?” She asked as she saw YunHo but she can’t see the boy that was hiding behind YunHo.

“I’m Jung YunHo…”

“And you here for?”

“I want to ask for your son, Kim JaeJoong. I want to make him my life partner. I’m here for your blessing.” YunHo pulls his fiancé, to the front standing beside him.

“I don’t have a son name Kim JaeJoong, you shouldn’t ask me for blessing. That boy never was my child, he makes me feel disgusted. I should throw him away after I give birth to him. He caused my husband died, if only my husband didn’t push that boy away, he still alive now. That ungrateful boy should be in his place.” Seeing the person she detest hiding behind the other. “Go and die. Didn’t I tell you before, you should forget all the happiness since your Appa’s death. You are the reason he died. Now, get lost from here.” She really hate seeing the child in front of her until she can't wait to make that child gone from her sight.

The harsh word that comes from his own mother hurt him too deep inside his heart. He just stands there, can’t do anything.

YunHo saws a boy younger than JaeJoong behind that woman, the shocked looks on that boy was clear when YunHo saw JaeJoong’s umma was saying JaeJoong’s name.

“I only had one son, Kim JunSu. You clear now, I never had a son name JaeJoong. He already died for me.”

The same words JaeJoong got three years ago was replaying in his own mind. It’s been more embarrassing this time since the words was directly can be heard by YunHo too. He just can’t take it anymore. JaeJoong slowly releasing YunHo’s hand and turn around, walks to the car with tears running on his face.

‘I’m sorry, Yunnie… I wasn’t that strong, I can’t face Umma alone or even when you beside me.’ JaeJoong drop down beside the car and got his face between on his knees, he can’t even standing on his feet anymore. The hurt was more than before.

YunHo saw his fiance runs outside, “I’m sorry for what I’m going to say. He may be disgusted for you but for me, he’s my everything and you should feel proud to have him even he wasn’t born from your husband, he stills your child. He wasn’t guilty, the person who did that to you was the guilty one. You shouldn’t take it towards him. He was the most wonderful person I have ever known and one day for sure you will regret everything you ever did to him. If you ever feel regret for what you had said, please come to our wedding and for sure I send you the invitation. Good afternoon.” He left after that without looking back. Inside his mind was only JaeJoong at that time.

Reaching his car, YunHo saw JaeJoong was sitting on the roadside beside his car. The cries can be heard, it was painful for him. He thought that JaeJoong’s Umma had softened already but he was wrong, he shouldn’t have brought JaeJoong with him to see that woman.

The woman that continuously hurt his love one, the woman that was also the reason for JaeJoong trying to refuse him, pranking his proposal and also breaking JaeJoong till he really think that he doesn’t deserve anyone and any happiness in this world.

YunHo feels bad for making his fiancé face that situation, ‘This is my JaeJoongie, he always acts harshly but behind it, he is just trying to protect himself from hurting. I love  you, Jae.’ YunHo bend to JaeJoong sitting level, “Honey, please let me protect you.”

That word was enough for JaeJoong, he cried hard in YunHo’s arms, securely hugging JaeJoong’s body. For JaeJoong, YunHo was his everything when he was nobody. “Like Umma always said, I just a son of a … I’m the reason Appa died. I didn’t deserve any happiness in the world. Why… have you been so good to me? Am I really worthy… of all of this?” He asked YunHo.

“You worth every single thing that I had, I could only love you. So please let me protect you… I don’t see people on their outside appearance, it was the inside that I saw. Sometimes appearance can be deceptive, you should trust me to protect you. Didn’t I say before that you Appa was doing that to protect you, he values you just like his own son. I can feel that.”

JaeJoong did feel safe in that arm, he always trusts YunHo but he doesn’t trust himself. He was a commoner, knowing YunHo and the Jung’s family, he did feel glad but even he himself, he don’t even know his father. His Umma always hate him just because she got and pregnant with him.

Mr. Kim was the only one that treats him nicely, even he wasn’t from his seed. Mrs. Kim was by the robbers when he wasn’t at home. Mrs. Kim falls sick after giving birth to JaeJoong and almost kills the baby a few times, but she recovers when she conceived JunSu from his husband. Still JaeJoong was living with her hatred all the years.

If it was not because of his Appa, his Umma were so ready to abort the pregnancy. It wasn’t JaeJoong fault that he was born in such way. JaeJoong still remember on the day before the accident happen suddenly his Appa was taking him out for grocery shopping.

His Appa suddenly become a bit weird, more talkative than his usual self and always looking at him with a warm smile. He never knows that was the last smile his Appa smile to him, he still remember the last words of his Appa. ‘Be truth to yourself and there you will find your happiness.’ His Appa held onto his hand before laying there lifeless. JaeJoong already sitting on the roadside with his Appa on his lap. His tears fall down.

“APPA!!!” A sudden scream come from the person that still laying on the bed.

“Jae love…” YunHo wake from the scream, he takes place beside JaeJoong that clearly still half conscious and making a scene. “Please… Jae love… I’m here…” YunHo said while trying to calm JaeJoong down. He hugged his wife so that JaeJoong will know he was there.

YunHo remembered the day JaeJoong visit his Umma, it was the hardest day. That day, JaeJoong doesn’t stop crying. Mrs. Kim wasn’t a help too, instead she hurt JaeJoong again, he wasn’t blaming his wife for not being able to control his emotion, beside there’s no one he can blame.

“Yun… baby?” JaeJoong just realised his stomach was flat already feeling a bit empty when he didn’t see any sign of his baby inside that room. It’s still hurting for him, but he worried about their baby more.

“He’s safe… no worries… I almost lost you… Jae” YunHo hugs his wife carefully. Their baby was born prematurely and the doctor has already put the baby inside the incubator.

“I dream Appa… It’s been so long since I dream Appa…” JaeJoong said while taking the water cup that YunHo hands to him. His worry already faded knowing their baby is safe to see the world.

“I know you miss Appa, but please take care of your health first. Our baby still needs his Mommy… like I need you more than anything else.” YunHo takes a breath after that.

“It’s two days since you unconscious, Jae… ChangMin was worried about you. You been mumbling and silently you cried, but you never open your eyes. JiYool was sweet through she manage to calm her older brother down. I know you miss Appa, but I want you to be healthy for now.” YunHo knows his wife was finally calming down.

The past JaeJoong hurts much more, he doesn’t want that to be repeated again. Seeing his wife face a bit pale was enough to make his heart aching. They had a family to  be taken care, ChangMin, JiYool and their newborn baby. For the time being, his only hope was for JaeJoong to be healthy. He did promise JaeJoong to protect him and give all the loves he needs in this world.