Myungsoo walked up the steps to her house while smelling the flowers. He straightened his vest and grinned before ringing the doorbell.

He was shocked when Hye Su wasn't the one to open the door, but her mom did.

“Are you Kim Myungsoo?” she asked.

Myungsoo nodded. “That's me.”

She turned around to grab something off of the table.

“Uhm, excuse me. I'm here to see Hye Su. Is she here?” he asked when she came back with a piece of paper in her hand.

Myungsoo could see the some sadness in her eyes.

“Just read this.” she handed him an envelope.

The second he grabbed it, he had a bad feeling in his stomach.

As he was walking back to the dorm, he stared at the envelope with the familiar handwriting on it. 'Kim Myungsoo'.

It looked just like the first letter he had gotten from her. Except this time, the writing looked rushed and dark.

When he came back, Sungjong was still tanning.

“Back already? That was...” Myungsoo closed the front door. “...quick. Hey, is that a new vest?!” he yelled.

Sungjong pouted when he didn't get an answer and went back to tanning.

The other members were still out because of their schedule except for Dongwoo, who was tidying up the kitchen. He is the cleanest member after all.

Myungsoo sat on the couch and stared at the envelope.

He was afraid.

He was afraid to know the truth.

He was afraid he couldn't handle it.

He was afraid he'd lost her.

After taking a deep breath, he opened it.

Dear, Myungsoo Oppa

Am I a coward for leaving? I think I am.

I'm sorry I had to leave like this, without a goodbye. I consider this a goodbye since it's the same way I had come into your life in the first place; is through a letter.

You always said you liked my fanletters. I bet you're hating this one now, right?

I felt that it would be best for me, you, your members and your fans if I leave. It is my fault why you lost fans and your leader is in the hospital.

I love you, Kim Myungsoo. I've loved you since the moment I saw your cold expression on You Are My Oppa. I fell for you instantly. You make me have butterflies when I'm around you. When we kiss, my legs grow weak. When we hug, I never want you to let go. When you tell me you love me too, I always wonder if you love me as much as I love you. It's hard to imagine.

I don't expect you to wait for me, because I'm not coming back. I'm keeping my word. So please...

Just let me go.

My heart wants to stay with you for an eternity, but the world doesn't. Like I wrote before, we aren't meant for each other. I'm just a fan.

I'm not going to tell you to forget me even though it's good for you, because deep in my heart I don't want you to. I'll never in my life forget you, so why should you forget me?

Am I being too selfish? Yeah...I think I am.

Continue to be the talented, passionate, mysterious 'L' everybody thinks you are. But in reality you're sweet, clumsy and hot-headed sometimes. You're simply perfect.

Be happy, and make another girls dream come true.

Love Sincerely,

Your #1 fan, Park Hye Su

Myungsoo couldn't believe it. He refused to believe it. Hye Su loved him. She would come back...right?

“Dammit Hye Su! You are not just a fan!” he screamed and hit the table with his fist. He felt deja vu when he said those words. He threw the letter down and started crying hard while looking down at the flowers which were on the floor by his feet. It was like his world came tumbling down. He could only take so much.

“Whoa, what's wrong?” Dongwoo asked, walking in.

Myungsoo continued to cry. Normally when he'd cry, he would walk into another room or cover his face somehow, but a member seeing him was the last thing on his mind.

Dongwoo on the other hand was surprised. He had never seen Myungsoo cry this hard. Not even their tough trainee days had Myungsoo this upset.

He saw the letter on the table and picked it up. He looked back and forth from Myungsoo to the letter before reading it.

“ Myungsoo. I'm sorry man.” he sat down next to his dongsaeng who was still sobbing. He started hiccuping and wiping his tears lazily.

“I failed.” he managed to choke out between hiccups.

“What?”

Myungsoo waited for the hiccups to stop before answering.

“I failed as a boyfriend. I should've known there was something wrong. It's good she left me.”

“Don't blame yourself. This was her decision.”

“God Dongwoo hyung. It hurts so much.” he could feel his warm tears falling down his cheeks again.

The rapper didn't know what to say. He couldn't say that she would come back for him sooner or later because she said she wouldn't.

“What should I do?” Myungsoo asked, turning his head to look at him with watery, red eyes. That's when Dongwoo finally realized that Myungsoo had loved Hye Su, a lot. So there was only one thing left to say.

“Listen to her. Just let her go.” he whispered.

“What?!” Myungsoo yelled, standing up. “How can I let her go?! I love her!”

“Love isn't easy. Sometimes you gotta let go. What else is there to do at this point? She's gone.”

Deep down, Myungsoo knew Dongwoo was right but he still refused to believe that Hye Su had really left his life.

He grabbed the bouquet of flowers and threw them in the trash before stomping into his room and slamming the door shut, causing the whole dorm to shake. Dongwoo winced and took a mental note to sleep on the couch that night.

Myungsoo reached into his pocket and pulled out the jewelry box, staring at it for a moment. He screamed and threw it in a random direction.

He wanted to destroy everything in the room, but he controlled himself.

The last thing he wanted to do was let go.

============

okay....so i lied. DON'T HATE ME!

i was hoping for it to be a surprise but some you smarty pants saw it coming! *points finger*

however....

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY INFINITE!

they've changed so much since debut, in a good way.

Infinite will forever be infinite.

this is one year, and there will be many more to come. :)

WATCH THIS IF YOU LOVE INFINITE. IT MADE ME CRY. Inspirits are the best. <333333

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVCSpFssdiE&feature=feedu

i like how i'm having this looong message at the end of my chapter...i should really go to sleep now...haha.