Sehun liked waking up in a cold winter morning tangled up in warm sheets around him, sun rays half-heartedly peeking through the crack of his room. He liked sitting up and walking to the window, and ocean of whiteness would greet his morning vision. Sehun has always liked winter, staying wrapped up inside in warmth against the cold from outside, he always thought it was a perfect combination.

So when he woke up that morning, jumper hugging his chest and neck like bears and warm wool pajama pants shielding him from the cold with warm blankets that smelt so much like Zitao, too much like Zitao, he felt like living a dream. Sometimes, he didn’t understand why he loved Zitao so much, Zitao was not a perfect man that gave him everything of his demand, Zitao was not exactly the person that would shower him up with affections 24/7, Zitao was, he was far from perfect. Zitao was handsome but he was not the type that someone could fall in love with him at the first glance, he was not the type that radiates warm smiles to his surroundings but that was just how Sehun liked it.

He fumbled with his legs when he spotted Lay reading a Charles Bukowski’s work of art on the chair in the corner of his room. It was a new habit of him since he was dating the Korean leader, he said when you read books you get so many life lessons without actually experiencing them, it would save your heart from the unavoidable aches because you would know what to do when similar situations happen to you. But Sehun found it funny how the elder would go randomly to his room, it happened more than one time and he was glad he could get close to someone with so much philosophical knowledge. It never really bothered him though but when he was still with Luhan back then, the older Chinese would kick Lay of the room with the accuse of ‘invading privacy’.

Luhan was beautiful in every way possible, he has facial features of an angel and skin that glow more than the bright sun. He has a heart of gold and he would never neglect anyone who was in need. Luhan was smart and witty as well, he would never run out of amazing ideas and inspirations that had kept Sehun’s mind reeling wildly in anticipation. Sehun loved Luhan, he loved bright smiles and crescent eyes, he loved small hands and smooth strands. He loved Luhan, so much, sometimes even though he was so in love with Zitao he would find himself wanting to self-harm for what he did to Luhan. But he would never fight the pain, he would let it flow, because Zitao always said don’t fight it, if you fight it, it would hurt more.

“You’ve been staring at air for 5 minutes, are you alright there, little brother?”, Lay broke the comfortable silence of the room, his eyes still glued on the words typed neatly in the You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense book.

“I’m alright, just reminiscing”, Sehun replied and he watched as his breath formed smoke that danced in front of his face.

“Luhan came to me last night, he told me about your conversation in the Kitchen”

“I don’t like it, I don’t like how he lied”

Lay sighed as he closed the book, putting it nicely on the coffee table in Sehun’s room.

“Sometimes, we lie because we are forced to do it.”

“I always prefer hiding the truth than lying. He was playing with my feelings, he knew I would get worried about him that’s why he made up those things, I was so worried that when I heard he was lying I felt like I was being toyed at, my worries were just in vain.”

“Sometimes we do stupid things when we’re in love. Sometimes we even forget the fact that we deserve so much more than what we think. Luhan wants you back so much, he started neglecting his health, he started coming up with scenarios at night, he started cursing at everything whilst it didn’t even make sense.”, Lay.

“One of the days I would just want to come back to him and tell him everything was just a dream and I’m still next to him and we never parted, sometimes I would want to see his peaceful smile when I wake up beside him, but I can’t”

“I respect all your decisions, Sehun. I really do, I don’t mind you with Tao or Luhan, it’s just I don’t want the atmosphere in the dorm being bad. It’s been almost a year and it seems that Luhan and Yifan still cannot get over it, we already did everything we could to help but—“

“What are you talking about, hyung? Yifan-hyung is already with that girl”

Lay held his head, “Sehun, I—“

-----

Tao sat awkwardly in the terrace of their dorm, feeling the cold seeping inside his skin and unto his bone. Life had always been hard for him and it didn’t matter anymore, he just wanted people around him to be happy now. Whether it was Kris or Luhan or Sehun, didn’t matter anymore, he just wanted them all to be happy. If Kris was happy with Mei-li, he’d let go, if Sehun didn’t want him anymore, he’d let go, and he would do everything to stop Luhan’s misery, he would do anything but it seemed that all he did until now was breaking his deer hyung’s heart more and more everyday.

“Tao”

Tao turned his head at the unfamiliar voice, it was Mei-li, she was approaching him with a cup of Starbucks coffee in her hand

“Oh, hey Jiejie”

She sat beside Tao, opening the lid of her coffee cup. Tao was a bit confused because the name written on the cup was ‘Rachel’, not ‘Mei-li’

“How are you feeling today?”

Tao sighed, “Usual, nothing special. How about you, Mei jie?”

“I don’t feel alright.”

Tao laughed a little, “I know we never talked and this is the first time we actually have a conversation but what happened?”

“It’s Yifan, he’s been concerning me and some people for quite some time.”

“Did you two have a fight?”

“We never fought, Tao.”, she paused, sipping on her coffee. “I really want to tell you what’s really going on, but I can’t be the one telling you, I’m an outsider.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a great person, Tao. I adore you so much, I don’t think Yifan would ever deserve you.”

She took one last sip from her coffee and stood up.

“I have to go, Tao. It was very pleasant talking with you, I wish we would meet each other again someday. You’re a great person.”

Tao was left confused on his position as he watched the tall brunette girl walking away leaving their dorm.

Few moments later a rushing Kris got out from the dorm and Tao was still sitting there confused about the words Mei-li said.

“Tao, did Mei-li come here?”

“Yes, she just left”

Kris clutched at his head, “Oh crap”

“Yifan, what is going on, really?”

“What do you mean what’s going on?”

“She talked to me, she said you’ve been concerning people for some time now, what’s going on?”

The leader stuttered, “W-What did she say to you?”

“She didn’t say anything, she said really wanted to tell me but she can’t because she’s an outsider. And she said goodbye and hoped to see me in the future or something like that What is it about though?”

“She said goodbye? So she’s not coming back?”

Tao furrowed his eyebrows, “Hold on, Yifan. I am confused, how could you not know about all this I mean she’s your fiancée and…?”

“Tao”, Kris sighed, he sat himself in front of Tao and holding the shorter’s shoulders. “Actually…”

----

“What?!”

Sehun stood up, the blanket falling beside the bed, but Lay still sat on the chair looking at Sehun with guilty eyes.

“Sehun, I’m sorry…”

“So everything that we’ve been through were all fake, were all your ideas? Were all Joonmyeon hyung’s idea?”

“Sehun, please understand that—“

“Understand what, Xing hyung? Understand what? Torturing Zitao with the existence of that girl, and there were no fiancée from the beginning? I was fooled! How could you people do this to us?!”

Sehun stormed out of the room, leaving a stoned Lay, still on the chair with his book.

He walked to the terrace spotting Kris holding Zitao’s shoulders, he clenched his fist.

“Tao!”

Kris and Tao turned their heads.

“Sehun?”, Tao.

“Stay away from him!”

“We didn’t do anything he was just going to tell me something.”

“I know that, and I know what he’s going to say. Go on, tell us, Yifan-hyung. Tell him, tell Zitao how you played his feelings from the very start”

“Played my feelings from the start? Sehun, what are you talking about, baby?”

Sehun glared at Kris, “Come on, don’t be a coward and tell us. I want to hear his version.”

“When I left to Canada last year, I was only visiting friends and relatives, there were no fiancée, Tao”, Kris sighed, looking at Tao’s eyes, trying to drink in all the expressions the younger one made.

“No fiancée? What are you talking about? What about—“

“It was really my fault about not contacting you when I was there. When I go back I thought everything was going to be fine and dandy, but I thought wrong. I tried to consult with Joonmyeon and he told me to tell you that I was breaking an engagement, so you would think that I did all those for you. But then you were still so upset with me and you got Sehun, I tried to be true all those times, Tao but I couldn’t get Sehun off your shadow. I consulted with Joonmyeon again and that was where all the lies started.”

Tao gaped, so much lies.

“Mei-li died years ago from liver cirrhosis, and that girl was not Mei-li, her name was Rachel, she’s a close friend of me and Joonmyeon. We thought she was perfect to play the role as Mei-li and… and… so you could… be jealous and realize that you actually still loved me.”

Tao choked, “What is this ery? All this fakeness?”

“I did them all so I could get you back”, Kris looked down at the floor, never felt shorter in his life before.

“To get me back? By lies?”

“I tried everything, but you—“

“How do you expect me to have you back now like this?”

“Tao, I—“

“Can I just ask why? Why did you lead me on? Why did you say all those things to me, knowing they weren’t true? Why did you make promises you knew you were going to break? Why did you keep telling me lie after lie? Everything you did for me will never make up and excuse what you did to me. I’m so disappointed in you.”

Tao held Sehun’s hand and drag the youngest one inside. Kris felt regret washed over his whole shaking being, all the hopes had disappeared now. He never should have listened to Suho.

Oh look who's updating! So the end is really coming you can feel it in the air right? (right)

After this story I want to focus to my new one,

The Gifted

if you haven't checked it out, do me a favour and click away ^^

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