Sehun rubbed his eyes slowly, being greeted by the rays of sun entering the window crack of his room. He’s been sleeping alone lately, since Tao slept with Kris and Luhan slept together with Lay and Suho.

He sighed, “Zitao hyung, I love you. Why did you… Why did I…”. His voice trailed off and turned into short sobs. “It was always us, Hyung. Before Yifan came, it was always me…”

It was raining hard in front of SM building when Sehun arrived. He couldn’t wait to train again because the manager said that they are going to form a new boy group soon, different than the ones before. He ran through the dripping waters falling from the sky, that’s when…

“Ah! Watch out!”

Sehun turned his head and saw a boy riding a bicycle was going to crash him. “Aaaahh!!”

The boy couldn’t control the steer anymore so he fell and the bicycle fell on top of him. Sehun ran to the boy and helped him stand up, removing the bicycle on top of him.

“Are you alright?”, Sehun asked.

“No, I’m not alright. I can’t move my right leg”, the boy hissed as he tried to move his right leg.

Sehun pulled on his hair, “Crap. Okay, I’m gonna ask for help”

“But it’s raining. I doubt anyone will come.”

“Well, at least we can try though”, Sehun tapped his chin. “I’ll just help you get inside SM building then, I’m a trainee there I can ask the medical staff to help you”

Sehun offered his hand for the boy as he helped him up and helped him inside the SM building. He sat the boy on a sofa, and then he ran and called the medical staff to help him.

He was pacing back and forth as the med fixed the boy’s dislocated ankle. He felt so guilty even though he did nothing wrong, he knew it was the boy’s fault for crashing to him, but it was just weird.

“Sehun-ssi? We’re done.”

“Thank you so much, hyung”

He bowed to the med and watched him walk back into the back room of SM building.

“Thank you, Sehun-ssi”, the boy said before he sneezed.

“You’re cold?”

The boy rubbed his nose and smiled, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine in the morning. I’m Zitao, you can call me Tao.”

“I’m-I’m Sehun…”

“I know. You’re a trainee here? Me too. I just entered a few days ago. This is my first day of training.”

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

“No, I’m from China.” Tao threw Sehun the nicest smile Sehun had ever seen his entire life.

“Well, you surely can speak Korean.”

“Yes, but it’s broken. Would you help me? We can be friends here!”

“Yes…”

“Thank you, Sehun-ssi!”

Sehun smiled at Tao’s cheery behavior,”Let’s just skip the formalities, Tao”

Tao just smiled back in return.

Sehun sobbed into his pillow. “I was the first person you met, hyung. Your smile…”. Sehun froze when he heard Tao’s laugh outside, followed by Kris’ teasing voice.

“Hey, Sehun! What’s up?”. Sehun turned his head to find a shorter boy with black hair, the one he had always adore, as a big brother. He quickly wiped his tears and shot him a smile.

“I-I’m fine, hyung.”

“Well, that would have convinced me if you weren’t crying and your voice wasn’t shaking”

Sehun sighed, “Just don’t worry about me, hyung.”

“Nu-uh, you’re my little dongsaeng and my favourite baby boy. So tell me what’s wrong.”

“No, it’s nothing, hyung. It’s just rubbish.”

“Are you not my friend?”, Luhan pouted.

Sehun widened his eyes, “No, of course I’m your friend!”

“Then why won’t you tell me about your problem? I thought that is what friends are for?”

“Zitao hyung… He…”

“Zitao? The Chinese young-un?”

“Yes… I like him but he… I thought he also liked me…”

“What happened?”

“He just got together with the Canadian man, Yifan was it?”

Luhan caressed the younger’s arm, “I’m so sorry to hear that, Sehun…”

“It’s okay, hyung. It’s not your problem, you don’t have to think about it”

“Hey! But I’m here if you need me! Do you want to get bubble tea together later after practice?”, Luhan grinned, trying his best to lighten up the mood.

“I-uh…”

“Hey, I’m not going to take no for an answer, you need a distraction! So, Cofioca after practice, it’s a date~”, Luhan giggled and poked Sehun’s nose.

“See ya, Thehunnie”

Sehun watched as Luhan skipped away from him, entering the dance room.

Sehun smiled. Luhan. Lu Han. His beautiful hyung. And then Kris’ words last night flowed back to his mind. Maybe it was time for him to love Luhan again, like how Zitao was trying to love Kris again.

Sehun left his room and walked to Suho’s room. He a deep breath as he put his hand on the door knob, but before he turned it, someone opened the door from the inside.

“Se-sehun?”, Luhan gasped and widened his eyes at the sight of Sehun in front of him. “W-what are you doing…in front of my-Suho’s room?”

“I was going to talk to you… I think”. Sehun mentally slapped himself for sounding so retarded.

“To talk to me?” Luhan smiled inside, but no, Luhan’s not going to make it easy for Sehun. “I’m sorry, Sehun. I can—“

“I’m not going to take no for an answer, hyung”. Sehun pulled on Luhan’s arm and dragged him inside his room. He shoved Luhan to the bed and locked the door. Sehun looked at Luhan with hard eyes, fiercely staring into the elder’s eyes. But then he fell to his knees and cried, letting out short sobbing

“Sehun?”, Luhan leaned closer to Sehun from his position on the bed.

“Where should I go? What should I do, hyung? “

“Sehun… I don’t think you should ask m—“

Sehun threw himself towards Luhan and hugged the smaller boy, he weeped silently in his arms.

Luhan sighed, caressing the younger’s back. “Sehun…”

The taller just replied with a choked sob.

“Sehun, don’t cry. You’ll be alright… We’ll be alright…”

-----

“Taozi~”, Kris plopped beside Tao on the couch.

“What is it, Gege?”

“Are you mad at me?”. Kris poked the younger’s arm.

“Hm? Why should I be mad at you?”

“Because I didn’t give you more gifts than other members.”

Tao chuckled, “You gave me lots of gifts already, Gege. If you sum up all the gifts you’ve ever given me, it’s like way more than what the members and fans gave me.”

“But I still feel it’s not enough, after what I did though…”

“Don’t worry about it, Gege. I’m happy with what you gave me”. Tao smiled and wiped Kris’ sweat, they were tired after rehearsal after all.

“Do you want to come with me after rehearsal?”

Tao’s eyes widened, “Where? But we should be resting though…”. He sighed, “So many schedules waiting…”

Kris smiled. “Just come with me! I want to spend the evening with you! We’re going to the river side!”

“Really?”. Tao’s face lightened.

“I promise we won’t be tired and you’ll be relaxed”, Kris nodded to himself.

“Okay, Gege”. Tao leaned and kissed Kris’ cheek. Kris blushed slightly, he’s really not used with public affections.

A cough interrupted them. “Guys, we should rehearse the dance again. Kris, you haven’t got the moves right, maybe you should ask Zitao to teach you and stop teaching him bed moves.”

“WHAT?”. Kris stood up and glared at their manager.

The manager ran away, chased by Kris. While Zitao just giggled on his seat.

-----

Kris picked Tao’s bag and pulled Zitao’s hand when he was talking with Sehun about their act for the shoot the next day.

“Gege, wait. I’m still talking with Seh—“

“No time, Panda. It’ll be too dark when we get there.”

Sehun watched as they disappeared from his sight, he sighed and he felt a tap on his shoulder, it’s Suho.

“Are you alright, Sehunnie?”

“I’m not alright, hyung. But I’ll be fine”. He saw Suho glanced at Luhan, who was biting his lips, probably trying to stop his tears from falling.

“Sehun…. I’m not trying to intervene your private life. It’s hard for me to see my members like this. If you cannot solve all this by yourselves, my and Yixing already have a plan and trust me you don’t want us to do this plan so please…”

“Yes, Hyung. I-I’ll be leaving now.”

Sehun ran out of SM building, hoping that he could still get a sight of Tao and Kris. He walked and walked until he saw them two dribbling ball and shooting it to the ring.

Zitao laughed when Kris stole the ball from his hand. Their game didn’t seem serious, just them spending time together at sunset. He knew how much Tao loves sunsets. He sighed and wondered if Tao remembered anything about him.

“Hyung!”

“What is it, Sehun?”, Tao hummed without looking at Sehun.

“Do you not remember what day it is?”

“I don’t know, is it special?”

“It’s my birthday, Hyung! How could you forget?”

“Oh, yes. I’m sorry, Sehun. Anyways, I need to go and give this to Chanyeol hyung. I’ll text you later. Bye”

Sehun’s shoulder slumped as he saw Zitao turned his back on him. Completely forgetting his birthday, and only apologized half-heartedly.

He walked back into the dance room, clenching his fist to stop himself from crying. His eyes widened when he saw a small hazelnut birthday cake with a ‘Happy Birthday Oh Sehun’ carved with a purple-coloured icing on top. And then his eyes caught a small movement on the corner, a smiling Luhan with a birthday hat and a small present in his hands.

“Happy birthday, Sehun!”

“Lu-Luhan Hyung…”

“Happy birthday, Flower Boy! I’m sorry I’m the only one who’s here because other trainees are away at the moment.” Luhan walked closer to Sehun. “This is a little present for you, I’m sorry if it’s nothing.”

“N-no, it’s too much, Hyung. I can’t take all this…”

“It’s okay, Sehun.”. Luhan giggled and motioned Sehun to the cake. “Let’s eat this together~”

Sehun walked closer to Luhan and took the cake knife from his hand. He cut the cake slowly, put the first piece to Luhan’s paper plate.

“Thank you so much, Hyung”

Luhan smiled cutely, “Happy birthday, Sehunnie”

Sehun wiped his tears, he was too caught up in the memories, he didn’t realize when Tao and Kris were taking pictures together.

“Luhan hyung…”

Sehun ran as fast as he could back to the dorm before any fans could spot him. He’s going to confront Luhan, maybe ask for his help to fix his confused heart.

This is my last update before my finals, I hope it satisfies you~ Now you know how Sehun feels~

My finals will end on June 10, see you after. Please wish me the best :*

For this chapter..... i'm thanking my dear saengie itssssupertetet (i should make you my co-author, shouldn't I bb?) and my dear lover michelle (i'll give you that moment soon enough)

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I'M DEAD

THIS IS FOR ALL TAORIS SHIPPER

~21bangsfangirl