Whoever had taken Dongwoo couldn't have picked a better time to bring him back. Hoya spent the week Dongwoo was missing sleeping fitfully and looking pale in the face. He looked plain sick, like Sungjong hadn't seen since Hoya's death. His face had gotten so white that the purple under his eyes stood out like he'd been in a fight. Sungyeol would offer him tea almost constantly since Hoya wouldn't even pretend to eat with them. Sungjong wasn't really sure if reapers could get sick. He wondered why he'd never asked Dongwoo about it before. He wondered if he could remember a time Dongwoo had been gone for more than a day or two. That never happened. A week without Dongwoo was already pulling Hoya apart by the seems and Sungjong felt a tug in his belly that wanted Dongwoo's reassurance himself and was also so scared for Dongwoo, but there was no way he was going to let Hoya know that.  For the first time, everyone was looking at Sungjong like he had the answers and it wasn't fun. Sungjong could keep himself in check enough to keep their worries down, but for how long?

 

"You guys do heaven's work," Sungyeol said to Sungjong quietly, a few days in. His voice was heavy in a way it never usually was. He was afraid too, but he hid it well, "they wouldn't just keep Dongwoo forever, right? They wouldn't really punish him badly or anything? No torture or anything?"

 

"I don't know what punishment means to them." Sungjong didn't even know who "them" was. "It could be anything. It could be nothing."

 

That probably wasn't reassuring, but Sungyeol had already shut his mouth and turned away from Sungjong, trying to make himself look busy, which wasn't untrue. They were busy watching-not-watching Hoya.

 

Sungjong hadn't heard anything from Sunggyu since Dongwoo's disappearance, and he knew exactly why. The guilty look on Sunggyu's face made Sungjong's chest tighten in sympathy. Sunggyu's last conversation with Dongwoo had been about Woohyun, but Sunggyu was still with them. Sungjong just wasn't sure how to talk to Sunggyu about it, having entirely eavesdropped on their talk, but his affection for Woohyun was common knowledge. 

 

Despite the guilty eyes and hung head, Sunggyu didn't stop leaving to visit Woohyun. He stayed out later, and Sungjong wasn't sure how to handle that. Mostly he was afraid to have Sunggyu taken away too, but that didn't seem to concern Sunggyu.

 

It only took Dongwoo's absence a week to knock them off kilter.

 

Hoya's hair stood up from where he'd run his hands through it so many times and Sungjong had given up trying to slick it back down for him. The best he could do was help Hoya with his reaps and make sure he ate a meal times. Sending him to bed was always a guessing game of whether he would really sleep or not, but Hoya would refuse when they asked if he wanted to stay in their rooms. Sungjong was sure he was frustrated by being treated like glass, but he looked like glass. He looked a step away from either losing his mind or crying and Sungjong's reassurances had stopped working sometime around that first night.

 

Sungjong kept the most distance from Myungsoo. He figured, with all that was going on, there was no reason to add his problems to the mix. Until they had Dongwoo back, how could he even touch the subject of him and Myungsoo? How was that fair? And as always, Myungsoo understood him and respected his decision. He stopped coming to Sungjong's room at night and he didn't let himself touch Sungjong. When they were left in a room together, they kept eye contact brief, and spoke very little to each other. Sungyeol gave them a few weird looks, but said nothing because they were the last thing that anyone needed to worry about.

 

The first contact he had with Myungsoo since Dongwoo's disappearance was a bump to the shoulder. Myungsoo's mouth turned up when Sungjong glanced at him. "I know you want to stay close to Hoya, but I want you to come with me."

 

Sungjong's eyebrows furrowed. Myungsoo was out of uniform, but he never took reaps at night anyway. "Where?" 

 

"To my brother's. I think--" he took a pause to sigh, "it's time to talk to Sunggyu."

 

During the past week, when Myungsoo's eyes would flit away from his, Sungjong would try to ignore the irrational urge to keep Myungsoo's attention because it'd be counterproductive, but he really couldn't help himself. He'd always liked it when Myungsoo watched him. Myungsoo had a special smile for Sungjong and Sungjong always felt pleased to the point of spoiled under his gaze. Now Myungsoo looked away, still following Sungjong's lead, and Sungjong throat hurt like he wanted to cry, but he wouldn't cry. There was no place for that.

 

"What am I supposed to say to him?" Sungjong asked quietly. He wasn't sure if the admission that he was lost was a surprise to Myungsoo or not but Myungsoo tried to smile at him.

 

Myungsoo's hand reached up like he'd brush Sungjong's cheek but Myungsoo seemed to realize what he was doing before he could and he paused midair. Of course, Sungjong looked away, thinking about how he'd like Myungsoo's warm, slightly rough hand cupping his cheek. He could imagine it, like a sense memory from something he'd never really experienced before. "I'm not sure." Myungsoo admitted, "But we have to say something sometime, right? I can't stand his sad face anymore."

 

Sungjong swallowed, nodding, and grabbed his coat from the chair he dropped it in after his last reap.

 

Outside was dark and cold and it was a good walk to Myungsoo's old home; not far but it took just enough time to probably be a bad idea for Sungjong to walk alone with Myungsoo. Walking alone with Myungsoo at night was one of those counterproductive things he should avoid. He wouldn't regret it but that didn't mean it was alright. 

 

"What if they take Sunggyu too?" Sungjong let himself fear aloud.

 

Myungsoo was quiet for a moment. "That might not happen. You could bring it up to Sunggyu though, if you want." He sighed, "He's probably already thought about it, but without Dongwoo, we should stick together."

 

Sungjong pressed his lips together tightly in frustration. Sunggyu had taken to reaping so easily. He'd always put it first because took his responsibilities seriously. It was an admirable trait that he'd kept from his life as a soldier. Sungjong would have never expected him to break rules. Dongwoo made sense. Dongwoo had always seemed to straddle the rules without making it seem like he ever did anything wrong. Sunggyu was more black and white. Sunggyu stuck to the rules and he knew he'd be might be punished. Now Dongwoo was gone and he was still with Woohyun. Sungjong wasn't upset with him. How could he be? But Sungjong was entirely lost now.

 

Myungsoo stopped Sungjong with his hand when they got to the house. It was a small house, but sweet looking in a way that made Sungjong think of Myungsoo's mother, though he'd never even seen her. It was a house that Myungsoo's mother had made up herself and left to her boys. Only Woohyun lived there now, with a roommate, but no family any more. There was a big window in the back though, and Myungsoo motioned towards it with his head.

 

It was too easy to spy on Sunggyu. Both he and Woohyun were in the living room with a tv that they seemed to be ignoring and a pile of bed pillows that Woohyun seemed to be ignoring in favor of lying his head on Sunggyu's thighs.

 

Sungjong glanced at Myungsoo's face and was glad Myungsoo's face no longer crumpled when he watched his brother. Now he could smile when he saw Woohyun, but right now his mouth was twisted.

 

"We don't have to talk to them tonight." Sungjong said, when Woohyun smoothed his hand over the back of Sunggyu's neck fondly, until Sunggyu curled over him. There was no doubt that Woohyun could see and recognize Sunggyu very well.

 

Myungsoo took another glance at his brother before turning back around, but he just slid down the side of the house until he was sitting in the flowerbed there. Sungjong's heart panged at Myungsoo's face. "I did want to talk to them. We still have to at some point."

 

"We will." Sungjong assured him, sliding down to sit next to Myungsoo. Slowly, deciding it couldn't hurt, he reached his hand out to nudge Myungsoo's hand. He ran his thumb soothingly across Myungsoo's palm. "But it doesn't have to be tonight." He leaned in towards Myungsoo.

 

"I'm jealous." Myungsoo announced quietly.

 

Sungjong asked, "Why?" but he could think of a few reasons.

 

"I'm jealous that Sunggyu is the only one Woohyun recognizes." His voice broke just slightly at the end and Sungjong spread his fingers and laced them through Myungsoo's. There was really nothing he could do about that, but if he could, Sungjong would make Woohyun see Myungsoo. "But mostly now, I'm jealous that they get to have each other."

 

Sungjong swallowed. "We don't know that. We don't know anything until Dongwoo gets back."

 

He thought Myungsoo might say something else, but he didn't. Instead he leaned forward to kiss Sungjong and it took a lot for Sungjong to make himself turn his head so that Myungsoo's mouth brushed the edge of his jaw instead.

 

Myungsoo didn't look upset when he pulled back, but a flush had spread across his cheeks instead and Sungjong felt a rush of annoyance that he couldn't place. It wasn't meant for Myungsoo or Sunggyu, but it still welled inside his chest looking for something to blame. There was no time for them to have this kind of crisis and that was what burnt him up inside. 

 

He stood and knew Myungsoo was still looking at him. Myungsoo understood him though-- he had to.

 

"We shouldn't have come here. We can talk to Sunggyu when he gets back to the shop." Sungjong told Myungsoo quietly. When he finally looked back down at Myungsoo, Myungsoo was looking up at him with an open, vulnerable face.

 

"Okay." Myungsoo accepted, just as quietly.

 

There was no chance to talk to Sunggyu. Hoya wasn't home when they returned to the shop. He wasn't in his bed or the front of the shop or Sungyeol's kitchen or roaming the halls. He was gone, Sungyeol told them with wide eyes.

 

Which is when 'they' decided to return Dongwoo.

 

 

halp i've started too many things and idk what to do ;____; life alert