It has been already 3 days, and the 'incident' didn't really end well.
After Kibum left, everybody's gazes were locked on me, forcing me to give an answer.
Kibum's reaction to the other's assumption of us being together wasn't really helping my already stressed out system.
Kibum hasn't talked to me ever since.
Every time I see him walking down the corridor and I try to start a conversation, he turns his head away from me and pretends as if he didn't notice me.
I don't think he's mad at me, but I do know he's hurt. His face speaks more than a thousand words.
Why he's hurt ? I don't know. I can't come up with something I might have done.
I mean, I treated him almost like my own boyfriend. I never intended to do something that might hurt his feelings or disappoint him.
Every time I held his hand or kissed his cheek, he would've smiled at me and wouldn't have shown any sign of disgust. 
So why ? Why is he hurt ?
I don't know if he would return my feelings, neither do I know if he's aware of my feelings towards him, although they are pretty obvious, but I do know that he is not mad at me. 

I'm relieved knowing that he isn't angry with me in any kind of way, but it does bring me down that every time I try to start a conversation with him, he straight out ignores me.

I noted he really gives his fullest now for the upcoming dance battle. I haven't seen him in the canteen ever since that day, nor during break do I spot him somewhere in campus. I also haven't seen him in his regular practice room, which probably means he moved to another room.
There can be two reasons as to why he doesn't come to his normal practice room anymore,
one, because he doesn't want to risk on bumping into me, 
and two, because Jessica insisted it.

It's weird though that all the Sophomores are even more friendly with Kibum now. He became the center of all the attention.
Taemin, much to my surprise, clings onto him as if they're sticked together with glue.
Jessica is always busy fixing his bangs or touching him and Eunhyuk manages to always sling his arm over his shoulders whenever they're walking down the corridor together.
I really don't know why they act like that all of a sudden, maybe because they want to prevent him from coming back to me ?
I don't know ... But their behavior is really weird compared to how my friends treat me now.

Except for Jinki, he's the same old guy and doesn't care about me and Kibum at all. 

But for Heechul .. He doesn't talk to me, he even doesn't spare me one single glance.
He is obviously disappointed or mad at me. Probably both.
Krystal also kind of ignores me, but not for the same reason. 

She became really silent and uncomfortable in my presence, it's as if she wants to tell me something but doesn't has the guts. 
It looks as if she's afraid of me. 
Afraid of approaching me, afraid of talking to me, afraid of making eye-contact. 
I miss my best friend. 
As for Sulli, she also treats me different. 

She ignores me most of the time, which frustrates me, but she's still friendly. 
She's not like Heechul. 
When I ask her something she'd still smile at me, if I hug her she hugs me back but everything changed, that's for sure.
I think it's because I disappointed her. 
I always kept telling her that all the Sophomores were jackasses, and now I've been hanging out with one. 
Quite normal that she's disappointed in me. 

But Kibum is so different.
He's not a simple 'Sophomore'. 
He's so much more, but nobody seems to understand.
Nobody seems to understand that is is possible to fall in love with one of 'them'.   

Don't tell me that a Junior never has fallen in love with a Sophomore in this school. 
Because that would be nothing but a big lie. Who said you could control love ?   

There were a couple of girls who asked me if I wanted to go somewhere after classes.
I rejected them all, since I knew they only wanted to get in my pants.
Normally I didn't really care, and I loved it when girls would just give their bodies to me.
It was an amazing feeling to dominate people and to not feel guilty at the end.
I mean .... they wanted it. So why should I feel guilty ? 
There were many people who asked me several times if I wasn't ashamed for all the things I've did, but I would just shake my head and answer them with 'no'.
Why should I be ashamed ?

###

Okay look I know this chapter , and I should have updated much fast er but .... argh.

so I finished this chapter somewhere in July and sent it to my beta August 8. (yes, I remembered the date.)
she said that she'd send it back the following week but I didn't receive anything. 
I didn't want to bother her and ask her what was taking her so long because, after all, I told her she didn't have to rush things ...

so I decided to just update and leave it unbeta'd. 

this chapter is short, it and there's no progress at all and ... I don't know what to say. That's all.

school has already began (yup, lmfao) and ... well, you know, this is what every single author says ; I'm busy.

Though, I shouldn't be a lazy during my spare time. I should just ing write my fanfics because I don't like letting my readers down.

Hey hey hey, I'm not quitting this story, jsyk.
I don't like giving things up and I'm not even close to discontinuining.

Maybe next time I just have to come up with a plot and start writing without thinking ahead and without planning everything out,
because that makes me lazy, since I have everything in my mind but am just too damn tired to type it down.
 

I'll try to update as soon as possible ♥

comment replies because I can :

keyloverfan : sorry for making you wait so long bb ♥

tinie86 : ikr xD and aigoo, I'm sorry <3

ShineeJongkey : they'll be united eventually ^-^v

.... lmfao. I replied 3 comments, wow. 

okay .... ;___;

and for the ones who didn't know, I also have another ongoing story (another reason why I neglect I might hate you /facepalm)
It's about Jonghyun and Key living together as a couple, but Key can't talk and blahblahblah

It will satisfy your fluffy needs, but it also has angst. angst and super!fluff combined. lololol.

Go check it out here !