heart ache ♥
I might hate you
I'm so happy I found a beta *sigh* it really frustrated me that I had to make my updates public knowing that it had so many grammar mistakes whatsoever in it.
lol, so yeah, this chapter contains drama. uhuhu ...
I'm sorry for chapter 7, I totally rushed the last part of that chapter since it was already darn late and I had to go to sleep, but I just had to add the last part. ♥
I'm sorry for chapter 7, I totally rushed the last part of that chapter since it was already darn late and I had to go to sleep, but I just had to add the last part. ♥
###
Krystal was silent the last couple of days. She was still hurt because of me leaving her hanging. Though we didn't bring up the subject anymore, I still felt the awkward tension between us. She was very suspicious about me and Kibum, and it's not that I wasn't scared of her finding out what we had. I just didn't bother trying to be even more discrete since that was kind of impossible. And besides, it's not like Kibum and I really had something going on. It's only because of the fact that he was a Sophomore and I was a Junior that people would freak out.
"You know, you should come to my place some weekend." I suggested to him while we were taking a walk in the park.
He nodded in agreement, "That'd be fun. It would be such a relief to be somewhere else instead of school." He emphasized the last word with a roll of the eyes and an exaggerated sigh.
I chuckled, "Yeah ... But not this weekend because Heechul is probably coming over."
Kibum nodded, "Okay ... But ain't there a chance he would be standing in front of your door while I'm there ?"
I shrugged, "I'll hide you."
Kibum snickered, "Deal."
###
"Hey, what's up with her ?" Taemin asked, nudging his head to where Jessica was sitting at the table, with her hands in her hair.
Donghae was standing next to her, one hand on her back giving her reassuring pats, "Kibum missed practice for the third time this week,"
"What ?! Again ?" Taemin's eyes widened.
"Didn't you notice then ?" Donghae asked, one eyebrow higher than the other.
"I wasn't at practice either, I had a doctor's appointment." He admitted, looking at Jessica with a concerned expression.
Eunhyuk plopped down in the seat beside Jessica, "Wassuuupp ~" He grinned, giving the girl a playful push.
Jessica slowly turned her head in his direction, giving him one of her deadliest glares.
Eunhyuk flinched a bit, "wow ..."
Taemin shook his head, "She's pissed off. Kibum missed practice again."
Eunhyuk dropped his fork, "What !!?" He looked at the two boys in front of him with a disbelieving look on his face.
" ... Didn't you notice ?" Dongae asked once again.
"No !!" Eunhyuk knitted his eyebrows together.
"Hm ... well, it's already the third time this week that he didn't show up. And we always end up talking to his voicemail when we call him so ..." He responded.
"What's up with this guy !! If he's going to ruin the dance battle, I swear, he's going down !!!" He raged in frustration.
"Yeah, I know ... and it's already within 2 weeks." Taemin added.
"Oh god, I swear ..." Eunhyuk started, clutching his fist.
###
A couple of days passed by and Kibum and I always met up at the main entrance to go to the park or to take a walk whatsoever. We never let a chance for us to be together slip through our fingers, or actually, I never did. I didn't know what his feelings towards me were but I had a pretty good premonition. He never complained when I held his hand, he never looked at me awkwardly when I told him he was cute or pretty, and blushed instead, he smiled when I kissed him even when there was no intention of kissing him. He never asked me about my feelings, and I don't really think I was ready to tell him already. I don't think I could give more hints than I've already given. And I didn't want to be so obvious. But I just couldn't seem to stop acting so damn love struck when he was in my presence.
A couple of days passed by and Kibum and I always met up at the main entrance to go to the park or to take a walk whatsoever. We never let a chance for us to be together slip through our fingers, or actually, I never did. I didn't know what his feelings towards me were but I had a pretty good premonition. He never complained when I held his hand, he never looked at me awkwardly when I told him he was cute or pretty, and blushed instead, he smiled when I kissed him even when there was no intention of kissing him. He never asked me about my feelings, and I don't really think I was ready to tell him already. I don't think I could give more hints than I've already given. And I didn't want to be so obvious. But I just couldn't seem to stop acting so damn love struck when he was in my presence.
I was always walking on clouds and I wasn't aware whether anybody was suspecting anything. I was aware that Krystal suspected something but I have never thought that maybe Jinki or Sulli would have noticed. I always used homework as an excuse to skip eating lunch in the canteen. If not, I would just tell them that I wasn't feeling well and decided to stay in my room. Jinki always shrugged. Sulli always asked if she could help me with anything, which I refused politely. And Heechul just ignored me.
But time after time, it indeed became a bit suspicious. Well, I couldn't care less. As long as I could spend time with Kibum, everything was all right to me.
It was, right ? I thought that everything went just perfect, me and Kibum friends even through all the resistance. Sophomores, Juniors ... Juniors, Sophomores. I didn't care anymore.
Kibum was much more than just a Sophomore to me now.
###
"That's it !!!!" A yell could be heard through the canteen.
Jessica forcefully pushed open the heavy doors, stomping to the table where the rest were seated.
"I can't take it anymore !!!!" She shouted in frustration.
The students in the canteen suddenly talked to each other much more silently, some of them whispering things in other's ears while looking at the girl. She sat down, but immediately jumped up again, too angry to sit still.
"Kibum ?" Taemin asked her without looking up from his tray.
She grumbled in response, hands on her hips.
Nobody dared to guess what was going on in her head right now. It was probably the most inappropriate ideas of Kibum disappearing in a mysterious way, to never be found again.
"What happened this time ?" Eunhyuk raised his eyebrow as he handed Donghae a tissue so that he could wipe away the drops of water, or what he preferred to call as "bacteria", he created when he drank from his bottle.
Jessica turned around, pursing her lips together and ravaging her hair as she tied it roughly in a ponytail.
"I offered him private lessons so that he could keep up with practice, but he missed it again !!!!!" She groaned, letting out another yell of frustration.
"What ?!!" Eunhyuk responded in disbelief, "I thought he went to practice yesterday !!"
Jessica stomped over to him, placing her palms flat on the surface of the long table with a bam, hovering over the trays and bringing her face closer to Eunhyuk, "No. he. didn't." She hissed, leaning back.
Minho joined the table with a tray in his hands, raising his eyebrows at Eunhyuk who clutched his fists and slammed them against the table forcefully.
"If this guy is going to ruin our dance battle, I swear he's going to regret it !!!!" He eventually got out angrily, standing up and walking to the folded doors with big strides.
"What's with him ?" Minho asked unsurely, not really sure if he wanted to know.
Taemin sighed, looking up to the taller boy, "Kibum,"
That name already said enough. Minho sat down quietly, eyeing Donghae who was cleaning his hands with a couple of wipes, it was like he wanted to say something, but couldn't bring out.
###
"Where's Jonghyun this time ?" Sulli asked, disappointed because of the boy's absence.
"He said he wanted to practice," Heechul said matter-of-factly.
"Why does he practice that often all of a sudden? I don't recognize him anymore," The girl sighed, poking her chicken.
"I bet he just realized that he's a lousy student," Jinki snickered at his own remark, stuffing a piece of meat into his mouth.
Heechul shrugged, "He's acting really weird these days. He seems off world."
He looked at Krystal who was silently eating, "I kind of have to agree with Krystal, he really acts weird now."
Krystal slowly looked up, giving him an awkward smile. She knew all too well what was going on with Jonghyun these past days, but she couldn't tell the others. For hers and Jonghyun's sakes, that is. If she would tell them, Jonghyun would ignore her forever, and Jonghyun would also be in big, big trouble. And she didn't want to ruin it for her everlasting crush, even if he left her hanging for their walk in the park.
"The only thing that's weird about him is that he doesn't join us for lunch anymore," Sulli shrugged, standing up to throw the leftovers of her lunch away.
Jinki stopped her, "You don't want it anymore ?"
The girl shook her head, and motioned with her hand if the elder would like to have her chicken.
Jinki took the offer gratefully, and told her she could throw the rest away.
Heechul spoke up when Sulli sauntered to the other side of the room, "You know," He took a sip of his juice, "That Sophomore kid, the girly one, hasn't been in the canteen for weeks too." He remarked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, looking over at the table where he normally sits with the other Sophomores.
Jinki was too busy munching on the piece of meat in his mouth to actually care, and Krystal sighed, seeking for something that could grab her attention.
###
"Wow, how old were you back then ?!" Kibum giggled, stumbling through the main entrance. There was nobody around in the corridors so we thought that it would be okay if we just entered the building there instead of sneaking in through the back door.
###
"Wow, how old were you back then ?!" Kibum giggled, stumbling through the main entrance. There was nobody around in the corridors so we thought that it would be okay if we just entered the building there instead of sneaking in through the back door.
"Hm, seven I think ?" I answered him, throwing my arm comfortably over his shoulder.
"God, you jumped off a cliff when you were seven! that's weird!" He snickered, giving me a playful push.
"It wasn't that high," I laughed, bumping my hip against his, "and I actually just fell off it."
Kibum stopped in his tracks, "but you just said that you jumped off it," a cocky grin plastered on his face.
"that sounds cooler," I shrugged, sending him a suave wink before going further down the corridor. He held his hand in front of his face as he laughed at my pathetic attempt of acting all cool and awesome in his presence, which made him look like a girl even more. But it didn't make him any less cute.
###
"Where did Eunhyuk go?" Taemin asked curiously, and he got three shrugs in response.
He huffed because of the lack of enthusiasm at the table, but eventually decided to bear with it.
Donghae wandered around the canteen with his eyes, looking a bit helpless. And Minho looked at him with a questioning look.
"Yah, Donghae, what are you holding back ?" He asked a bit confused.
Donghae locked eyes with him and Jessica slowly turned his head to the boy, her rage already calmed down.
"Well, ..." He started, a bit insecure, "Kibum just acts really different, and he has been asking me weird questions too." He got out.
Taemin raised his eyebrows along with Jessica, "What kind of questions ?" The girl asked.
Donghae looked at nothing in particular, just staring in front of him, "He ... He asked me yesterday what boys do when they're in love with ... another guy."
Jessica's eyes widened, "What ?!!" She exclaimed.
The boy shrugged, "I don't know what's up with him,"
"Could he be gay ?" Taemin asked, emphasing the word gay with a frown, "I do have to admit that he looks like a girl, but could that make him gay ?"
Minho kept silent, poking his vegetables with his fork, "Well ..."
Jessica was still astonished by what Donghae just told them, standing at the head of the table so that she had a view of everybody sitting by it. She cocked her head to the side when Minho started talking, "I'm not sure, but Taemin and I saw him with Jonghyun a few weeks ago,"
Donghae narrowed his eyes, jerking his head to the table where Jonghyun's friends were seated.
He noticed the blonde's absence, dropping his fork at what Minho added, "And we kind of saw them kissing ?"
Taemin nodded enthusiastically, not that he was happy about it, but he wanted the others to believe what Minho was saying.
"What in the world ..." Jessica's eyes widened even more, if that was even possible, and placed her hands on the table, leaning on them.
"Well, not kissing like a couple ! But I think Kibum gave the other a kiss on the cheek," Minho added hesitantly.
"Are you sure it were those two ?!" Jessica asked, her voice raising.
Taemin nodded heavily, "They were both blonde and that's kind of rare in this school, so yeah !" He exclaimed.
Jessica looked to her right, just like Donghae, noticing that the boy wasn't there.
Donghae knitted his eyebrows together, "Yeah ... Kibum is in love." He said out loud, reminding back to the Friday night when he was with Kibum in their shared bedroom.
"Have you ever felt that tingly feeling ... when you see someone ?"
"Well ... yes.""What does it mean."
Dongae frowned, why in the world was he asking this ?
"Uhm ... that's called love, Kibum." He snickered.
Could Kibum be ... in love with Jonghyun ?
###
"I thought that maybe we should go to -"
"Kibum you - !!!!!!" an angry voice interrupted me.
Eunhyuk stomped towards us, hands dangerously balled into fists, "You missed practice, again !!!!"
Kibum was startled for a second, "Wh-what do you mean ?"
I quickly removed my arm off the boy's shoulder, to avoid any awkward looks from the younger one who was raging at his fellow student. The boy didn't care to pay me any attention, so I was kind of relieved.
"You know what I mean !!!! Jessica set up private practice lessons for you because you keep skipping the normal practice hours, and you didn't show up !!! again !!!"
Kibum's lips formed an understanding 'o' and bit his bottom lip afterwards.
The boy took a step closer to Kibum, and I automatically tried to grab his collar out of protection, but could stop my action in time as I noticed Eunhyuk wasn't planning on hurting the younger one.
"I swear, if you are going to ruin the dance battle, you are going down." He hissed.
###
"Oh.my.god." Jessica got out, "it's all that stupid Junior his fault !" She emphasized the word 'stupid' with a roll of her eyes, pointing at the table where Jinki and the other's were sitting, "I can't ing believe it ..." She muttered under her breath, taking big strides to walk over angrily to the other table, followed by her friends.
"You !!!!" She said, dangerously pointing at her sister.
Krystal looked up bewildered, she pointed at herself, "Me ?"
Jinki raised his eyebrows, cautiously on his straw which was connected with a bottle of orange juice.
"Oh don't act so innocent, Krys." She snarled, "KEEP YOUR BOYFRIEND AWAY FROM OUR KIBUM !!!" She yelled frustrated.
Krystal's mouth was wide agape, eyes as big as saucers, "What do you mean, Jessica ?!!" She asked confused, her voice raising, calling out her sister's name.
Jessica let her finger wander over their table, glaring at each one of them, "You guys, keep that blonde arrogant kid away from Kibum."
Heechul snickered, throwing his empty water bottle in his sports bag, "Missy, where are your tranquilizers ?"
The girl shot him a fake smile, stepping closer, "Get.a.life."
Sulli was already venturing back to their table, clasping her hands together and suppressing a yawn, "Damn that practice made me so -" she looked up at the Sophomores who were surrounding the table, "What's up ?" She asked, a frown appearing on her forehead. She sat down when nobody responded, looking over at Taemin who just stood there, clinging to Minho as though he could protect him from whatever was going on.
"Jessica, I don't know what you're talking about." Jinki said calmly, placing his drink back on his tray, "Just calm down and explain what you're trying to tell us."
"I don't need to explain anything !!!" She responded, throwing her arms in the air, "Your Jonghyun, is distracting ourKibum from his practice ! And we, Jinki, have a ing dance battle within a week !!!"
Krystal sighed, her eyes back to normal and her heart beat increasing as she knew what her sister was talking about. She didn't know if Jessica knew about, ... whatever was going on between those two, but whatever it was, she couldn't tell them, whether they already knew or not. She was not planning on ruining everything for Jonghyun, let alone herself. The raven haired girl stood up from her seat, throwing her tissue aimlessly on the table and leaving the canteen without any further discussion.
"No way in hell you are going to walk away from me !" Jessica hissed when she passed her by, but the girl didn't respond.
"Krystal !!!!" She shouted, following her out of the public place.
Jinki sighed, rolling his eyes as he continued with his lunch. Donghae just watched the whole situation bemused. He wasn't calm or anything like that at all, he told the other's what Kibum made him keep a secret. The boy told him not for nothing questions involving love and that stuff. But this was different, right ? Donghae tried to convince himself. He told the other's because they had to know. It was for the sake of the dance battle, ... right ?
###
Eunhyuk was ranting to Kibum, throwing unnecessary scoldings at him, as if he did something really, really bad. Like he offended the empress of China. But no, he just missed a couple of practices, why did he make such a big deal about it ?
Eunhyuk calmed down a bit, but there was still a tense atmosphered, "Kibum, " he begun, his voice much softer now, "How many dances have you already mastered ?"
"... I'm currently practicing on the one with the hiphop concept." He mumbled.
Eunhyuk threw his hands in the air in defeat, turning around afterwards clasping his hands in front of his face.
"You only know 2 dances out of the 5." He said, voice muffled by his hands.
Kibum looked at his feet, not answering him, "You do know you only have a week left, right ?" Eunhyuk added, rubbing his face and turning around again to face the boy.
Kibum nodded. They looked up when they heard a voice echoing through the corridor.
The sound of the heavy doors of the canteen followed, as they recognized Jessica's squeaky voice.
"You are unbelievably -" She was cut off when they bumped into the three boys.
Jessica's face contorted at seeing the two causes of all her problems, sending Jonghyun one of the dirtiest glares she had in store.
"You ..." She spat, pointing an accusing finger at the Junior, "You son of a -"
"Let it go, Jess." Krystal interrupted her with a sigh.
Jessica turned around to face her sister, "What do you mean, Krystal ? Let go of what ? Of the fact that your stupid little crush is corrupting our Kibum ? Is that it ? Or are you maybe jealous ? Yeah, it's probably jealousy," She smirked evilly, shoving Eunhyuk to the side.
Jonghyun rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn't know why Jessica was going to throw a fit at him, but confronting Krystal with the fact that she was in love with him was really pathetic to him. She was already hurt, there was no need to hurt her even deeper.
Krystal's shoulders sunk, she looked at her sister in a way that you couldn't describe. She stood there so vulnerable and helpless, the sight breaking your heart in an instant.
The girl was about to shout inappropriate words at the elder when the doors of the canteen opened once again, leading Donghae and Heechul into the hallway where they were all standing.
Heechul's speed increased when he saw Kibum and Jonghyun together, Jessica was apparently really upset by Jonghyun and Kibum together, and at first he didn't want to believe that the two actually hung out, but seeing them as a pair next to each other was enough evidence.
"What is this ?" He looked at the two boys in front of him, Jessica behind him, trying to calm down a bit.
"Is it true ?" Heechul asked hesitantly.
"What ?" Jonghyun started to feel a bit uncomfortable because of all the attention, "What is this in the first place ?"
He scanned the people surrounding him and Kibum.
"You two," Heechul started, pointing at them, "do you hang out ?" He continued, "are you two friends ?"
They both stopped breathing for a second.
They couldn't deny it, could they ? No.
"
W-well ..." Jonghyun began, "Y-yes." He uttered. That wasn't hard at all.
But that one word, that one syllable could make a difference.
Heechul pursed his lips into a thin line, narrowing his eyes at them, "I can't believe it." He muttered.
Jessica was getting a bit impatient and shoved Heechul to the side, "Leave him the alone !!" She yelled in the older one's face.
"And what the hell Kibum, why the are you kissing him ?!!!" She got out, a bit louder this time.
Kibum gasped, "Wh-what ?!"
"You two think you're discrete ?! Well, too bad you weren't discrete enough !!" She added. She really sounded like a cat, hissing and all, as if she could scratch their eyes out with her nails any minute.
"WHAT ?!!!!" Heechul and Eunhyuk shouted simultaneously at hearing the word 'kiss'.
They came forward as Minho and Taemin both backed away a little, Taemin again clinging onto the taller one.
"What do you mean 'kiss' !!!?" Heechul gasped with all the body language he had in him.
Eunhyuk just looked at the two, mouth wide agape.
Kibum looked at Donghae helplessly, the only person he could talk to decently, without their friendship being forbidden whatsoever, but Donghae just turned his head away from him. Not that he was disgusted by any matter, though. He just felt guilty for making Kibum's awkward questions and lovetalk he promised to keep a secret, public to the other's.Well, Kibum did not really ask him to keep it a secret, but it was kind of obvious that such conversations between two persons would be better to stay between them.
Jonghyun really needed someone's support. But the imaginary person who kept encouraging him with Kibum was nowhere to be seen all of a sudden.
He didn't have someone to lean on, it was just him and Kibum ... and a bunch of confused people around them who demanded an explanation.
But strangely enough,
he didn't have one.
what could he say ? They weren't a couple so that wasn't an option, they were just friends. But regular friends, in this case two boys, don't kiss each other, right ? So what could he say ? Nothing. There was nothing to say. Nothing at all. It was something they both still had to figure out, and since they hadn't figured out yet, this time was a really bad time for their friends to find out what kind of relationship the two shared.
"What do you want us to say ?" Jonghyun eventually got out, the attempt of sounding confident miserably failing as his voice quivered and his hands trembled.
There was an awkward silence, Krystal stood behind everybody else, looking at her feet and not even daring to look up at Jonghyun. She was as surprised, not in a good way, as everybody else when Jessica told them, or rather shouted at them, about the kiss, but she didn't show it. She just kept silent. Heechul was too shocked to speak up, and just stood there with his arms dangling lifelessly next to his body.
It was so weird that the simplest things like a friendship between a Sophomore and a Junior could turn people so upside down.
Minho and Taemin just watched every movement silently, not daring to in. Nobody dared to break the silence, and nobody dared to ask 'the question' they all were longing to know the answer to. The doors of the canteen opened and the joyful laughter and loud voices of the students flowed into the corridors, the sound faded back away when the doors closed again and footsteps echoed through the hallway. Sulli and Jinki stood still when they took in the view of the group. Nobody cared to look at them, so they joined them, trying to figure out what was happening.
Suddenly Heechul broke the ice, "are you two ... together ?"
Again, there was an awkward silence and Sulli gasped, Jinki's eyes widening at the sudden question.
"What is th-" She wanted to ask but Jinki nudged her at her elbow, telling her to shut up, so she did.
"N-no !!!" Kibum exclaimed startled, "Wh-why would you think that ?!!"
It came out rather desperate than stern, and Jonghyun felt a bit betrayed. He couldn't be angry at Kibum, because they weren't a couple, but he sure felt the sparks between them. He didn't know if Kibum felt them, but he sure did. His heart ached a little, but he tried to stay confident. This was not the time to turn into a helpless little kid.
Although he really wanted to cry.
"I- ... I can't believe th-that you guys ... that you though that we .. we were ..." Kibum stuttered, desperately looking for some support.
When nobody was there to offer him any help, he looked at Jonghyun. The elder looked at the ground, trying to endure the pain his heart was giving him, and apparently that ... was the last straw that broke the camel's back, as Kibum turned around and ran away.
The aching didn't stop
###
A/N : Hey, sorry for the delay. My clumsiness deleted my fic several times, so yeah. I always had to start anew.
I had to cut this chapter into two parts because it was too large :)
Thankyou my wonderful beta ~
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