Just My Size Chapter 10
Han Ji-Eun

"Family? In... America?!" Jinki exclaimed.

"Yep!" I was enjoying this too much. I grabbed his hand and pulled him along, anxious to be the teacher this time. "My aunt, uncle, and two cousins live in Santa Monica, and I visit them every chance I get!" I spoke slowly hoping Jinki would understand. "That means I go about twice a year, usually for a month at a time."

"So, two months each year you go to America, visit your family, and learn English?" He spoke slowly, but clearly.

"That was great, Jinki!" I praised him and he blushed. "Yes, you are right! And I have been going there since I was..." I stopped to think. "Four or five, maybe? I also have video chats with them over Skype.”

"Wow!" Jinki exclaimed, looking thoroughly impressed. We rounded the corner of my block, and I jogged the last few feet to my gate. Jinki kept up with me, and we both stepped in front of the electronic panel. I rang the doorbell, and a few seconds later my sister answered.

“Helloooo?” She drew the word out in a cute way - that was just her standard way of answering the doorbell.

“Hey sis, it’s me and Jinki,” I smiled at my words; it felt good to say that!

“Welcome back, Ji-Eunnie and Jinki-Oppa!” Ha-Eun called through the speaker as the gate buzzed open. Jinki opened it for me and ushered me in first.

Ha-Eun met us in the entryway. “You guys were gone for an awfully long time!” She waggled her eyebrows at me. “What did you do?”

“We went to the park,” I started.

“Played on the swings,” Jinki continued.

“Took a spin on the merry-go-round,” I nodded.

“And ran into Jonghyun,” Jinki nodded too.

“Who had been buried in the sandbox by little kids.” I finished.

We all stopped moving for a second. I stared at Jinki, he focused on me, and Ha-Eun’s head was moving so fast between us it looked like she was watching a tennis match. “Did you guys just-?” She blurted quickly.

“Hey!” I spoke in English. “I said no Korean!” I hoped my attempt at changing the subject worked. I was thrilled about how in-sync Jinki and I had just been, but my sister calling attention to it made me embarrassed.

“Ah, sorry, Ji-Eun,” Jinki straightened up after taking off his shoes and rubbed the back of his head. “I will try to talk more English now.”

“I will try to speak more English from now on,” I politely corrected him.

“I will try to… speak more English… from now on!” He repeated back to me.

“Good!” I patted his shoulder as we stepped up into the hallway. He grasped my hand gently.

“Well, I’ll leave you two love birds to your… whatever you’re doing,” Ha-Eun spoke in English as well, and rolled her eyes at the end of her sentence. But she also shot me a grin as if to say ‘I’m rooting for you, sis!’ I returned her grin before turning my attention back to Jinki.

“OK, homework time again!” I announced as Jinki and I walked to the dining room and Ha-Eun went back upstairs.

We studied English until my mom came back in the house. Once again, she talked loudly before her eyes adjusted to being indoors.

“Hey everyone! I’m gonna be making dinner soon! Is Jinki staying?”

I looked across the table at Jinki, and he bolted upright in his chair, eyes wide with surprise.

“Ah, if it is OK with you, Ms. Park.” We’d been taking in nothing but English for over an hour, he didn’t even realize he was still speaking in it when he addressed my mom.

“Oh, studying English?” Once her eyes had readjusted, she too spoke in English as she walked towards us. It was only then Jinki figured out what he did.

“Good job, Jinki!” I held my hand up for him to high-five, which he did gently. “You spoke in English without thinking about it! You’re improving already!” I beamed at him, and he blushed in return.

Even my mom smiled at him. “So,” she continued in English, “you will be staying for dinner, right? I think I’ll make us cheeseburgers in honor of English studies.”

“Oh, yummy!” Jinki his lips and Mom and I giggled. “Thank you so much, Ms. Park!”

“You’re welcome, Jinki,” she replied as she went to the freezer. Our overseas family had sent us our favorite brand of hamburger patties - frozen - at Christmas time. It was a huge box, so there were still plenty left.

We then made a big push and finished up our English homework as quickly as we could.

“That was delicious, Ms. Park!” Jinki exclaimed once he swallowed his last bite of cheeseburger. “Thank you so much!”

I beamed at my boyfriend. (It still feels so cool to think of him like that!) His English had improved a lot over the last hour or so we’d been speaking it, and we had even finished our written homework quickly. My mom then recruited us to help prepare dinner, and everyone enjoyed the food greatly.

“Oh, my God!” My sister suddenly exclaimed. “It’s time!” She hopped up from her chair and ran out to the living room.

Jinki followed her with his eyes till she was out of sight, then gave me a confused look. I glanced at the wall clock and saw the time. “Ah, it’s time for Running Man!” I too rose from my seat, but I took my empty plate with me to the kitchen first. Jinki and my mom followed.

“Go watch, kids,” my mom told us. “I’ll clean up and join you soon.”

“OK,” I replied as I turned towards the living room.

“Thank you, Ms. Park,” Jinki said for about the millionth time as he bowed. I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the couch in the living room. I swear I heard my mom giggling softly as we left.

Ha-Eun was plopped right in the middle of the couch, bouncing up and down as the show started. “C’mon guys! Sit down already!” Her eyes never left the screen as she used the remote to raise the volume.

I sat in my usual spot at the far end of the couch, and to my surprise, Jinki sat on the floor in front of me. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit on the couch?” I patted the space between me and my sister gently.

“I prefer the floor, actually.” He looked over his shoulder at me. “I tend to move around a lot when I watch TV.”

I nodded in understanding, and we turned our attention to the show as my mom joined us.

Throughout the program, Jinki did move around a lot. For a while, he was actually leaning back against my legs with his elbows resting on the couch on either side of me. This made me blush profusely once more.

But he also laid down on the floor - on his side with his head propped up on his hand, on his stomach with his chin resting on his folded arms, and on his back with his head against the bottom of the couch. He also sat in more ways than I can remember.

Once the program was over, my sister went upstairs and my mom went back to her chair in the back yard to read some more. They both gave me knowing looks - they had purposely left us alone together.

“So, wha-” Jinki started, but cut off suddenly. He shifted a little bit, and took his silently vibrating phone out of his pocket. He glanced at the screen, and sighed. “It’s my mom,” he said as he got up and headed to the entryway.

I tried not to eavesdrop, but I heard snippets anyway.

“Hey mom.” “Everything’s fine.” “Yeah, I’m hanging out with… a friend.” He lowered his voice so much that I almost didn’t catch that; I kind of wished I hadn’t. It stung.

“I already had dinner- MOM.” My eyebrows shot up as he raised his voice. He then lowered it again and I couldn’t hear any more for a while.

“Love you, too. I’ll be home soon.” He stood in the living room doorway and looked sad as he hung up. He pocketed his phone, then looked over at me. “I’m, uh… needed at home.” He scratched the back of his head as he sat down on the couch next to me.

I nodded, not meeting his eyes. I didn’t want our perfect day to be over already. The sun was still up, for cryin’ out loud!

“How about,” he started, then took a breath, “I meet you here in the morning, and we walk to school together?” I raised my head finally, and saw him smiling sheepishly at me.

“That sounds… lovely.” I breathed. He beamed in response.

We stood up as we made plans to meet the next day. Jinki made small talk with me as he donned his shoes, and when he stood up, I nearly cried. I really did not want him to go.

“Can I, uh… get a hug before I go?” He opened his arms shyly, and I nodded as I moved towards him. His arms wrapped around me once again, and I buried my face in his shoulder as I tried to hold back my tears.

“Are you OK, Ji-Eun?” He whispered into my ear.

I sniffled once and started to relinquish him. “I’ll be OK.” We stepped apart, but his hands lingered on my arms for a second before falling to his sides.

“Well, if you need to talk,” he patted the pocket his phone was in, “you know how to get ahold of me.” He smiled kindly, and I returned it as I nodded.

We stood there for a second, then Jinki knelt down to grab his bag. Once it was securely on his shoulders, he reached behind him for the door knob. “I’ll talk to you later, OK?” I only nodded again as he opened the door; I didn’t trust my voice.

“Bye for now.” He said with a touch of sadness in his voice. He made to close the door behind him, but I grasped it gently.

He gave me one last, small smile, then turned towards the front gate. I unlocked it for him with the button on the intercom.

As he closed the gate behind him, I called out, “Have a safe walk home!” I felt my voice break at the end of the sentence, and hoped he hadn’t caught it.

“Thank you! I will!” He called, and then ran off towards the corner.

I stood there for a few seconds, hoping against hope he’d come back. I kind of ended up spacing out, and didn’t move until my sister patted my shoulder lightly.

“C’mon, Ji-Eunnie,” she cooed as she closed the door and lead me up the stairs.

We sat down on my bed like we had many times before - her at the foot and me resting against my mountain of pillows. I pouted and tossed my phone absently between my hands.

Ha-Eun looked at me with concerned eyes, but took her time trying to figure out what to say. “So,” she began slowly, “how was today?”

I sighed as I looked up at my ceiling. “Perfect.”

“Then why do you look so sad?” My sister tilted her head to the side.

“Because his mom called him away so suddenly,” I sighed. “I was just hoping for- Ugh, I don’t even know.” I brought my knees up, hugged them with my arms, and lightly hit my forehead against them a couple of times. “I guess I was just hoping to part on our own terms,” I mumbled.

“I can understand that,” Ha-Eun nodded, then scooted over and put a reassuring hand on my elbow. “But he had to go home for the night at some point.”

“I know,” I mumbled, then lifted my head.

My sister gave me a lopsided smile, then brightened up a bit. “Didn’t I hear him invite you to contact him, though?” She winked and pointed to my phone. “He probably wants to hear from you, and the sooner, the better!” She was positively beaming.

“Is that… proper?” I felt awkward, and had no idea what I would say to him anyways. Plus, I’d always heard that the guy was suppose to contact the girl first.

“Ugh, just do it,” she exasperated.

“Oh… ‘kay.” I unlocked my phone, opened KakaoTalk, brought up our conversation, and hesitated. “What do I even write?” I bonked my head against my knees again.

“You can start simple,” Ha-Eun offered. “‘Are you home yet?,’ maybe?”

I nodded and typed that in. I hit the Send button before I could second-guess myself.

I held my breath as I waited for a reply. Finally, it came!

Jinki
Hold on, sorry.

Again, something completely unexpected. I must have had a weird expression on my face as my sister started laughing. “What?” I asked.

“What did he type?” I showed her the phone. “Maybe he’s in the middle of something?” She offered.

I sighed. I’d have to accept that for now. My eyes wandered down to the phone screen again, but nothing new had popped up.

As the minutes wore on, Ha-Eun tried cheering me up by telling me about her swim practice. I think I heard that she set a new personal record, but I was too out of it to really pay attention.

She got the hint and left my room, but not before giving me a hug. “He’ll write back, I’m sure of it.” She closed the door behind her, and I flopped back on my bed.

I looked again the conversation, but nothing had changed. I decided that I needed to distract myself, so I picked myself up and hobbled over to my desk. I my laptop and set my phone next to my mouse.

After what felt like an eternity trying to find something on the internet to occupy my mind, my phone finally buzzed! I practically dropped it as I unlocked it.

Jinki
I am so sorry that took so long! My mom chewed me out pretty good, then made me eat a full plate of the dinner she had made for me and my dad.

So Ha-Eun had been right! He was just busy with his family. I sighed in relief, then frantically typed back:

Ji-Eun
It’s OK! Though I was getting kinda worried…
I’m sorry your mom was mad. :( How was dinner, though?

Jinki
I’m sorry I made you worry. :(
Meh, it’s my own fault. I didn’t leave a note before I left. She’s not used to me being out of the house on Sundays, and we usually make it a point to have a home-cooked family dinner together.

I nodded in understanding even though he couldn’t see me.

Ji-Eun
Ah, I see! Family is very important!

Jinki
Yeah. Speaking of which, I rather like yours.

I blushed.

Ji-Eun
Aw, thanks! They’ll be happy to hear that.

From that point on, our conversation grew happier. We both completely lost track of time, and it was after midnight before we said goodnight.

The next morning, I woke right up when my alarm went off, and was all ready to go when Jinki rang our bell.

I ran out to meet him, and he greeted me with a big, warm smile. I beamed back, and we set off towards school hand-in-hand.

Everything was going great until we rounded the last corner before the school gate. I stopped dead in my tracks; I had completely forgotten about them.

His self-proclaimed “fan” club was waiting just outside the entrance. They met him every day, and liked to follow him around, or sit near him at lunch. But it was strictly against their rules to go after him romantically or talk to him one-on-one unless absolutely necessary. I’d been told off by them on more than one occasion for staring at him for too long. But I know Jinki had also politely told them to back off. It was common knowledge that he didn’t appreciate their forms of attention.

Jinki sighed, but pulled me gently along, squeezing my hand tighter. I blushed. “Better sooner than later,” I heard him mumble.

“What was that?” I asked as we neared the girls. I saw them glaring daggers at me.

“I was just thinking that it’s better that they find out about us sooner than later,” he said in a hushed voice as the small group of girls walked toward us.

There were only six of them, but they were kind of intimidating to be quite honest. The leader of the group, Son Mi-Nah, was one of the school track stars. It was also rumored she was scouted by a modeling agency and would start her modeling career after graduation. The other girls were all popular and pretty as well, but they were like little yappy dogs compared to their leader.

“Good morning, Lee Jinki-sshi,” they all chanted in unison, minus the leader. She just gave me a look that made me think she was going to start shooting lasers out of her eyes.

“Lee Jinki-sshi,” Mi-Nah addressed Jinki in a sultry voice while eyeing our linked hands. “Why are you hanging out with this…?” She left the end of her sentence hanging, and at first I thought she was thinking of a word to call me. Then I realized she wasn’t even acknowledging I was human. I lowered my eyes and stared at my shoes.

“This fine young lady is my girlfriend,” Jinki squeezed my hand and I looked up at him. He gazed at me with gentle eyes overflowing with kindness, and I smiled back sheepishly.

Mi-Nah scoffed. “So you like the creepy type, huh?” Her cronies giggled maliciously.

“Ji-Eun’s not creepy.” Jinki said simply. “She’s kind and fun.” He nodded, and Mi-Nah rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.” She flipped her hair and regarded Jinki with her sultry gaze once more. “You’ll soon realize that I’m more your speed anyways.”

“I highly doubt that, Mi-Nah,” Jonghyun suddenly appeared at Jinki’s side as he defended his friend. Minho, Mi-Sun, and Hea-Jung also came up and joined the group. Not too far behind them were Kim “Key” Kibum and Lee Taemin. In a matter of seconds, it was eight versus six, instead of two.

Jonghyun continued. “Did you forget? We dated briefly Mi-Nah, and I know for a fact Onew here would never fall for you.” He clapped my boyfriend on the shoulder and gave him a reassuring nod. “There were quite a few reasons why it was brief.”

Mi-Nah opened to say something, but Mi-Sun piped up instead. “Ji-Eun and Jinki-sshi are perfect for each other! So lay off, got it?” It didn’t matter that Mi-Sun was a good four or five inches shorter than the sasaeng leader, she radiated confidence and fierceness. Some of the girls physically stepped back at Mi-Sun’s words.

Mi-Nah finally realized she was at a disadvantage, and just scoffed again. Then she flipped her hair once more and turned to face her crew. “Let’s go, girls.” They turned and headed into the school.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, and Jinki squeezed my hand again.

“Are you OK?” He asked sweetly.

“Yeah, now.” I nodded as he smiled at me.

“We should probably get going,” Hea-Jung chimed in. “It’s almost time for home room.”

“Aigoo,” I heard Jinki mutter. I tilted my head in question. “Just that we’ll have to part soon.”

I smiled sadly at him. “Yeah, but at least we have a bunch of classes together, and lunch!” I tried to cheer myself up as much as him with those thoughts.

“Very true,” he relented. Our group turned into the schoolyard and headed towards the locker area.

“By the way,” Jinki let go of my hand briefly and started walking backwards. He motioned to Key and Taemin, and the two moved over to us. “Let me formally introduce you. Key, Taemin, this is Ji-Eun. We’re dating!” He couldn’t contain his enthusiasm, and it was adorable. “Ji-Eun, these are my good friends Key and Taemin.” He motioned to each of them in turn, and we all bowed to each other as we stepped into the building.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Onew-hyung this openly happy before,” Key said to me, and I blushed once again. Taemin nodded in agreement. I stole a glance at Jinki, and his face was flushed as well.

I walked over to my locker, and found Jinki, Key, and Taemin following me. “Noona,” Taemin addressed me, “your sister is Han Ha-Eun, right?”

“Yep!” I nodded as I changed shoes.

“I have a few classes with her,” he replied.

“Aw, that’s nice,” I kind of mumbled, not really knowing what to say. This was a fact I already knew.

Taemin looked like he was going to say something else, but he shook his head and turned to head to his locker. Key raised an eyebrow at his dongsaeng, shrugged, and followed him. “See you guys later!” He called over his shoulder. We said our goodbyes to him as well.

Jinki then turned to me and took my hand once again. “You got everything?” I nodded in reply, then we headed to his locker at the other end of the same row. He opened it, changed his shoes, grabbed a couple of things, and took my hand again once his locker was closed.

As we walked towards the hallway with our first period classes, I noticed people staring and whispering while making side-ways glances at us. I didn’t like the attention, and I kind of shrunk a bit; I hunched my shoulders and put my head down.

Jinki patted my shoulder with his free hand and whispered, “Don’t mind them. They’ll get used to seeing us together soon.” That helped a bit, but I was still uneasy walking past all those eyes.

All too soon, we arrived at my History classroom. We stopped next to the open door, and Jinki turned me around to face him. Seeing that I was still nervous, he held both my hands in his and said, “I’ll be just across the hall, OK?” I nodded, but didn’t meet his eyes. “Aw, come here,” he cooed in my ear as he hugged me. I hugged back, but couldn’t block out all the “ooohhh”s and other surprised noises coming from the students around us.

We broke apart slowly, and Jinki squeezed my hands one more time. “See you after class.” He smiled, but his voice was sad. I tried to smile back, but my heart ached.

The bell rang as I turned to go into my classroom.