Jong Kook would be lying to himself if he said that it didn’t hurt. More than pain though, was a strange disappointment both at himself and at the newly-engaged woman. Parted of him hated her for not keeping her end of the invisible bargain he had deluded himself into thinking. That she would quietly and subtly wait for him as he had for her. Maybe it was because earlier that day, he hadn't caught sight of her ring anywhere during filming, and he had thought that noticing it on her finger earlier was only a heat-induced disillusionment from soccer practice. Being told the truth had stung more than he thought, like the ground just fell out from under him. He had seen her waiting for him after filming. He just didn’t have the heart or energy to put on a façade anymore.

He stared blankly at the street lights passing by him on his way home, his mind immersed in figuring out how to behave going forward. Usually, any news within the members was shared weeks beforehand, but knowing Ji Hyo, the resident rule-breaker, gave everyone a hardy surprise. Though he didn't want to admit it, he had seen it coming from miles away, just like everyone else. Chang Joo and Ji Hyo had been going steady for several years and she had never once complained about him. Was he evil for hoping from time to time that they’d break up and she’d finally be available?

With this announcement, he hated the fact that she would end up as yet another woman at the subject of his unrequited infatuation. They had all been taken away from him before he had the chance to move forward, but then again, he wasn’t ever really waiting for an opportunity to make a move. He had been complacent with their relationship standing and believed that their hearts would never change. Ji Hyo was miles above the women and he regretted that over time she would be grouped with all the other women and her vibrancy and courage would be forgotten. And this realization, he told himself that he’d try to wean off his feelings for her because it was impossible for anything more than friendship to develop between them. It was better to cushion the fall sooner than later.

He wished that he could take back the day when he finally became aware of his romantic feels towards the woman. Then, he wouldn’t have to venture down the complicated but frequently traveled journey of brief elation that was always interrupted by a fiery crash of reality. He wondered if this was his fate, having experience it so many times in his thirty-plus years. He could only take so much, and this entire ordeal was getting old.

It was two years ago when they were on Jeju Island for Running Man when filming finally concluded at 5am. At Haha’s insistence, the members decided to stay up to watch the sunrise, camped out on the beach and wrapped in light blankets. Haha and Gwangsoo each rested their heads on Jaesuk’s legs, using them as pillows while Gary, Jong Kook and Ji Hyo sat together a few feet away not able to stand the trio’s corny jokes so early in the morning. Sukjin had elected to sleep through it having seen enough sunrises in his long life.

It was only when Jaesuk jerked awake to complain about numb legs and to shake off Haha and Gwangsoo that the members awoke from their sleep, having unwittingly dozed off one by one, and noticed the radiant sun peaking over the ocean. By 5:30am, the sun had rose midway into the sky and painted pink, purple, and orange stripes across the clouds. Ji Hyo frantically rubbed her eyes to get a clear view of the unfolding heavens, afraid to miss even a single second of the ethereal event. The woman gasped beside Jong Kook before whispering, “that is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”. Her eyes were focused on the horizon as she tugged his arm with one hand while the other reached out to eagerly point out various points in the sky, explaining to him all the beauty that she saw. He looked over at her to watch her speak and chuckled, amused at her stupefied reaction.

The wind lightly tossed her hair around her face as she rushed to tuck it behind her ear, not once breaking her commentary on the sunrise, in which run-on sentences were punctuated by brief pauses which were only used to catch her breath. Her husky and excited voice flowed out and around him enveloping him in a hearty laugh from her naïve comments. There was suddenly a deep urge inside him to preserve the Ji Hyo that was in front of him now. He wanted to protect her from all the harms of the world, so that she would always remain this energetic and enchanted by all its beauty. 

The sun cast a warm glow on her face, highlighting her soft features, including the childish smile plastered on her face, and reached down to her smooth legs that stretched in front of her, covered in sand, as she sat in shorts beside him. The woman with the wild spirit veiling her femininity, sat there comfortably beside him, touching him carefreely, unaware of the raging fire burning inside the man as he had realized how absolutely stunning she was. He found his eyes falling to her full lips, watching them move incessantly, as if teasing him and he itched to discover what she tasted like. She suddenly shivered against him, bringing him out of his daze, and he flung off his blanket and onto her shoulders. As he wrapped it tightly against her, she looked up and flashed a dazzling smile. Seconds later, she tilted her head up to breathe “thank you” against his cheek before planting a light peck on that very spot.

He swore he had died and gone to heaven. He knew she wasn’t thinking straight from sleep-deprivation, but he didn’t care because at that moment, Jong Kook realized he was in love with Song Ji Hyo.

- - -

The next day, Jong Kook arrived at filming, gingerly padding towards the set, ducking behind cameras and chairs, afraid of meeting the woman he had acted so rudely to yesterday. After a few minutes of sneaking around, he heard her laughter ringing out from behind him followed by some berating comments to Gwangsoo. He cringed as he heard some smacks, snickering at the image of the cowering maknae apologizing for everything that popped into his head. It was only seconds later that he was violently pushed into the chairs, sprawling out as he fell and bringing down ten of them to crash on top of him. From under the rubble, he could hear, “Oh sorry, oppa, didn’t see you there”, before catching a sly smirk from her pink lips as she walked on with an extra bounce in her step. His eyes narrowed in amused disgust, to the point where he could barely see at all.

By the time Jong Kook had reset all the chairs, the cameras were ready to roll and the introduction, for once, went on without nagging, since he was too out of breath to engage in playful banter with MC Yoo. It was another couple race this week featuring five female idols as guests. The men were foaming at the mouth as they watched the young ladies emerge from behind the curtain, their hair swishing from the side with each step as if in slow motion. The men rushed past Ji Hyo as they gathered at the young ladies’ sides, singing praises and confessing at their feet. Though the Ace had encountered this situation a countless number of times, no matter how hard she tried to brush it aside as all script, it still hurt each and every time. Looking over at how the men fawned over the young beauties, she felt like an abandoned old horse kicked curbside now that her time was up. She pitied herself but accepted the reality that she was indeed quite old compared to them. She didn’t blame the men for behaving this way. Young faces were always more attractive than wrinkly ones. In the ruckus that ensued from both the male members and crew who were focused on capturing and commenting on all their bright smiles and adorable actions, Ji Hyo was granted a rare moment of independence. Standing on the outskirts of the spotlight, she noticed her outfit of white pants and a light blue t-shirt, a stark contrast to the others who were donned in flirty dresses. Was she really that different? She allowed herself a small frown before resuming her stance as the hard-shelled Ace.

The six women lined up for couple selection, and she wondered why the crew insisted on embarrassing her like this each time. Everyone knew she would be last, so why make her stand there and wait, as if she would be picked any time before hand. Sukjin would win a game before that ever happened. Every person was handed a large hand pointer to select their partner, and the female guests having first dibs on the men who were furiously trying to straighten their clothes and tidy their hair. The first girl, Mina, in long silky black hair and milky skin, wore a shy smile as she pointed her selector at Jong Kook, giving him an arched eye smile.

Ji Hyo sighed inwardly, expecting no less. As the strongest Running Man, it was the obvious choice, but her selfish side hoped that he’d reject Mina. She hadn’t worked with him for so long and missed it sorely. This was a rare chance that they could be paired together without the writers meddling in the teams. They were so compatible as a pair, matched in their competitiveness and commanding attitude, and completing the missions were a joy for her with him because she felt the confidence of having a perfect partner. She caught Jong Kook’s eyes scanning over her as he surveyed his options now that it was his turn to choose. Her raised her eyebrows and bore her eyes into his, trying to tell him to choose her instead. The next second, eye contact was broken as he glanced over to the idols again. For how close she felt they were, she was sure, well, more hoped that he had understood her.

She held her breath as she watched him raised his pointer and as if in slow-motion, it landed in front of Mina. Ji Hyo’s mouth flew open as she watched the nineteen-year-old scream in glee and run across to Jong Kook to hold his hands and dance in celebration. That traitor.

Ji Hyo blanked out after Jong Kook was paired up, too blinded by her disappointment. Did he not feel the void as she had? But of course, when it came to the men, beauty was always more important than loyalty. In the end, she was paired with Sukjin, as always. Not that it was a bad thing, she quite enjoyed working with her clumsy TV dad.

After the initial mission, there was a short break for the crew to reset for the second mission. The members scattered to eat, drink and chat with the others. Spotting Jong Kook on a bench under the tree, Ji Hyo had grabbed two bottles of water and walked briskly in his direction, eager to catch up on nearly two weeks’ worth of happenings between the two. Suddenly from the corner of her left eye, she caught sight of Mina skipping towards him, calling his name in a disgustingly saccharine tone, halting her in her steps as she stared in disbelief. The young woman took a seat beside the startled man and crossed her long legs in an exaggerated fashion before wrapping one delicate hand around his bicep and poking it with the other. Ji Hyo scoffed as she heard Mina’s airy giggles echo through the air and turned to drop the water bottles back into the cooler.

From a distance, Jaesuk watched the scene unfold, shaking his head in pity as he leaned over to whisper something in Haha and Gary’s ears. Ji Hyo was still staring aimlessly into the cooler, watching the ice melt, when she heard Haha call her over. Eager to finally involve herself in something apart from moping, she galloped over to find Gary and Haha in a locked strength war. The two men, with hands clasped, were pushing against each other, trying to topple the other as they stood with their legs staggered to gather stability.

“Beautiful Ji Hyo, come help me!”, Haha repeated. She could see the beads of sweat formed at the hairlines of her two friends. With a smirk, she ran over to Gary’s side.

“Yah, Ji Hyo! I told you to help ME, not Gary!”, he yelled.

Ji Hyo only giggled in response and ducked shyly behind Gary. Jong Kook’s ear pricked as her heard Ji Hyo’s bright laughter and looked up briefly to find her leaned up against Gary’s back, her hands tightly grasping the rapper’s sides as she pushed with all her might. His hands itched to see her in such close contact with another man.

Gwangsoo was soon pushing on Haha’s back along with Sukjin. And with no other option, Jaesuk joined forces with Ji Hyo to face off against the betrayers. Before the match was decided, Haha bellowed a screamed as Gwangsoo’s fingers pinched his skin when he lost his grip and tried to grab a fistful of his shirt instead.

“Yah, Gwangsoo. How could you do this to your hyung? Do you want to see what you did?”, Haha reprimanded, pulling up his shirt to reveal a deep red patch on his skin. After showcasing the evidence, the maknae was subject to a torrent of loose slaps to his head from the other. Fortunately for him, his public beating was interrupted by the PD’s announcement for the resumption of filming and everyone flocked back to their places. On her way to the set, Ji Hyo snuck a glance over to the bench under the tree where Jong Kook sat hypnotized, staring at the flirty Mina who was engrossing him in conversation. C’mon, give me a break. Unable to watch any longer, Ji Hyo hollered, “Yah, Jong Kook! Time to film!”, waving her hands to signal him back and he nodded in return. She smirked, satisfied that she rescued him from that nymph’s spell.

The second mission consisted was a water quiz game, where one member of each couple stood in the front to answer the questions, while the other remained behind awaiting punishment for each incorrect answer. In first round, all the girls stood in the front to answer questions. Ji Hyo stood confident, awaiting the PD. After all, she had had ten more years of life on them.

The first topic was classical music. So stumped by just the announcement itself, she missed the question entirely and stood mong as she heard the girl beside her buzz in and answer correctly. She turned in time to watch Sukjin get soaked with gallons of water poured straight onto his head, and her knees weakened at the sight as she called out a “sorry” before turning around and promising she’d get the next one.

She listened intently to the second question and the answer was on the tip of her tongue as she opened emptily to answer. She wracked her brain for any strands of hints, muttering and reciting under breath, her eyebrows wrinkled in concentration. Her thoughts were interrupted with a loud ding-dong-daeng! resonating in response to Mina’s answer. She turned and watched in defeat as the powerful streams of water poured over Sukjin’s head, watching it bobble under the pressure.

She tried three times in the third question and each time, was greeted with a loud splash of water behind her. Ji Hyo didn’t want to look anymore; it only reminded her of her shortcomings. She wanted to give up and forfeit the mission to save her partner from further torture, but that was not the image she wanted to portray. Ace Ji Hyo was the ace because she always tried her hardest and persevered to the end. She bit her tongue to prevent herself from speaking out and hoped Sukjin would understand and endure for a bit longer.

As soon as the next question was read, she pressed the buzzer, but somehow she heard the PD calling out Mina’s name. Letting the idol answer first out of courtesy, she heard the approval chime and cringed as the sound of water echoed behind her, this time submerging her exhausted partner underwater as it poured out.

The fifth question she also knew! She was finally going to get this! Buzzing in, she replied “0.66”, her ears perking up, waiting for the correct signal, a smile beginning to crack on her lips in anticipation. Instead, she heard water being poured over her oppa’s head and watched as he scrambled to rub water from his eyes and fish for his glasses that were slowly sinking towards the bottom. “0.67!”, Mina responded immediately. Ding-Dong-Daeng! The idol turned to Jong Kook for air high-fives as the others were dunked once again. Ji Hyo kicked herself for forgetting to round the decimal.

At Sukjin’s battered image, she suggested that they switch spots, no longer able to withstand the sight any longer, and the crew finally agreed. She thought he faintly heard him sigh out of relief from the pool. As they passed each other, she gave him an apologetic squeeze on the arm. He smiled at her through his dripping, matted hair, patting her on the back. As Ji Hyo stood under the water buckets, she began to experience the nervousness and fear that she had caused Sukjin to endure for all these five rounds and felt so selfish for hogging the answering position.

As she heard the next question being read, she half wished that he’d get it wrong to ease the terrible sense of failure she had harbored. She wanted to get soaked so they would be somewhat even. Seconds later, she heard the loud splashing of water poured down beside her. Squeezing her eyes shut and shrinking into her shoulders, waiting for impact, and suddenly the roaring water stopped. She was dry? Dry? As she snuck a peek at the others, she realized that everyone but her had been dunked. Her oppa had gotten it correct! For the next question, she assumed the same cowering position under the water buckets. Ji Hyo could hear water being dropped on people a few places down, but never hers and then suddenly, another wave of water blocking all sound around her. Once again, she found herself paper dry. Sukjin had saved her once again! With a bright smile on her face, he asked if she wanted to try her hand at the questions again and armed with renewed confidence, she eagerly agreed splashing her way to the front.

Desperate to answer, she called out anything she could think of for the next two questions, all resulting in incessant buckets of water on Sukjin’s head. She could hear him calling out for her to stop, but what could she do other than to guess if she wanted to save him? Laughter from everyone else at her partner’s the pitiful sight surrounded her, and she felt ever more burdened with the guilt of subjecting him to this torture. There was nothing humorous about the situation and she would have given anything to have received those buckets of water instead of her oppa. His only fault was being paired with her. Her expression must have dropped at the realization because she soon heard yells from everyone else cheering and consoling her. Deep inside, she knew that they were all meaningless comments. No matter how long she stood there, she wouldn’t be able to answer a single one. She just wasn’t good enough, and she bravely blinked back her tears of frustration.

It was finally down to the last question. This was her last chance to redeem herself. Before she even had a chance to process the question, Mina had jumped in once again with the correct answer, claiming victory for Jong Kook and herself. Ji Hyo heard the final buckets of water poured and sighed out of relief. It was finally over. She turned to apologize to Sukjin, but he was nowhere in the pool. Glancing around, she found him already seated on a pool bench, dazed, drenched and wrapped tightly in towels. Her heart wrenched at the sight.

It had already been twenty minutes since all the girls emerged from the locker room, but Ji Hyo was nowhere to be found. The guys pondered at her whereabouts because usually she was one of the first ones out. Mina volunteered to check the locker room and sprinted in, glancing in all the nooks and crannies and flinging aside shower curtains that only led to empty stalls. She was about to call it quits when she spotted the woman curled up in a far corner, her face buried in her arms.

“Unnie, unnie. What’s wrong?”, the girl carefully approached her, gently shaking her arm.

Ji Hyo ignored her. It was Mina, that last person she wanted to hear from.

“C’mon unnie, please tell me what’s wrong. Everyone’s worried about you.”

Great. The only reason she hid in here was to avoid attention and now she had become the center of it. She dug her face into her crossed arms, in an attempt to further obscure herself from the overbearing reality of it all. “Leave me alone”, she mumbled at last.

“Eh?”, Mina poked her head under Ji Hyo’s arms to hear her better and looked up at her with innocent eyes.

Ji Hyo wanted to kick her face and give her a scar, to let her understand what it felt like to be ugly and unwanted. “Just leave me alone. Tell them I don’t feel well and to finish filming without me. There’s not much left anyway”, she grumbled. Her eyes had to look like two red balloons now and she was in no mood to pretend like she was okay in front of so many cameras. They could go on without her. It’s not like she would’ve made any difference being there. Much to her frustration, Mina sat there unmoving. “I said to tell them. Why are you still here?”, she tried to wave the young idol on.

“I-I just didn’t know- - I mean, are you sure?”

“Yes, now go.” Damn, for such a pretty face she sure had a thick skull.

She heard the girl stand up and scurry away. At the soft thud of the closing locker room door, Ji Hyo immediately broke down. Today had been an awful day in terms of her Running Man performance, but somehow it stung so much deeper than it. It was her worst showing to date. People usually get better with experience and after hundreds of episodes, why was she not improving? Did she actually lose her skill or had she always been this way from the beginning? It was at that moment that she realized the enormous crutch that she was supported by. Without the other members helping her along, she really was incompetent. They had probably let her win more often than not because she was the only woman around and they felt sorry for her. Was it really possible that a thirty-something woman to continuously compete with two generations of men?

And when these fresher faces showed up, she vaporized from their minds and their true nature was revealed. It was obvious they all preferred the other girls and she was extra baggage to be lugged around; she wasn’t ever needed at all. Unable to compete with them in brains or beauty, what else did she have left? Brawn? Did they really find a gruff woman attractive? She had forced her oppa to endure such pain during the quiz only because of her stupidity and sensed the flickers of resentment behind his eyes as he had gone up to reassure her afterwards. She really was useless. Today was one of the first times she was on her own and she had failed immensely. Why did they still keep her around? The broken woman didn’t want their pity. She wanted to work for her titles, not to be granted them out of sympathy. The title of the ace needed to be earned rightfully.

She thought of her other failures: her engagement. Had she actually been so desperate as to agree to his proposal only because she thought there would be no one else left if she rejected him? Is this what her life had become reduced to? She didn’t want to be a woman accepting what life assigned her. She wanted to fight for the things that would define her life. What was happening to her? What happened to her mantra of living as a strong woman?

Ji Hyo sat there in the dark, sobbing into her arms that were propped on her knees. She knew crying was of no use, but she felt hopeless, and with nothing else to do, she resorted to the one thing that actually felt right in that moment, and her tragic cries echoed through the otherwise silent locker room. Tears poured out like rain, venting the turmoil she felt inside. The pain that she couldn’t bear to tell anyone, that surmounted each day by the tiniest infractions and felt like daggers to her soul, until now, finally, when she realized that she had completely lost herself.

She was sure she had been in there for hours and figured that everyone had left by then; it was finally an opportunity to leave. After checking her eyes for any blaring swollen areas, she headed towards the door, dialing her manager’s number and notifying her that she’d take the subway home that day. She didn’t want to deal with any more prying questions from anyone today. Just her luck. As she exited it and rounded the corner, she spotted Kim Jong Kook sitting there, immersed in a video game on his phone.

“Hey, what are you still doing here”, she said roughly, trying to mask her weak state of mind and lightly jabbing his side with her foot.

“Playing a game”, he replied hypnotically.

She knew he wasn’t listening to her. “How far are you with repaying my $1 million loan?”

“I’m almost done”, he replied seamlessly, as if by magic, eyes still focused on the tiny screen in front of him.

She snickered. “Where did you get all that money from?”

“Money? What? I’m playing a game.”

“But you just said you were playing off my loan!”, purposefully teasing him and laughing at his shocked expression.

“I never said that!”, he looked up at her in horror. Suddenly, a robotic sound signaled ‘Game Over’ from his phone. “Dammit, Ji Hyo, you just made me lose! I was almost going to beat this level”, he screamed at her in playful anger.

She giggled and stretched out her arm to pull him up. “C’mon. Let’s go home.”

He jumped up, gathering his belongings and they headed down the hallway together. “Are you feeling better?”, he asked, reminding Ji Hyo of the excuse she sent Mina out with. Her face momentarily dropped before it was masked by her long-rehearsed smile. She looked at him brightly, “Yes, a lot better. Thanks”, looping her left arm through his right.

Jong Kook jumped at the sudden contact and felt his heart begin to race again. God, when will this woman stop having this effect on him? As much as he enjoyed her affections, it pained him to realize that she was just as friendly to the other male members, and she probably only viewed him as one of the guys. Seeing herself more as male after being with them for so long, she probably didn’t feel any different linking arms with him just as they had all horseplayed with her. He was torn between wanting to fling her arm away in anger and keeping her close beside him at the same time. Her heart was with someone else, and her playful nature was a mockery of him and his pitiful love life. Always one step too late.

“Oppa, can you let go now? We won’t fit through the door”, Ji Hyo commented, shaking him from his thoughts, as he reluctantly let her slip from his arms. “I saw you talking a lot with Mina today”, she said casually as they exited the building.

Unfortunately. “Yeah, she’s a chatterbox.”

“Haha, look who’s talking”. she watched his eyes turn to slits and glare at her.

“Ya, why do you still act like you’re offended? It’s pretty much a given of the world”, she added with a light punch to his shoulder. They were nearing his car and as she watched him walk to his trunk to throw in his towel and clothes, she piped up once more, “She’s really pretty though”. Ji Hyo didn’t know why she asked him, probably just to see him squirm. She laughed inwardly at her naughty tendencies.

There were a few seconds of silence as Jong Kook tried to busy himself with the contents of the trunk, avoiding the question. He could feel his face heat up. He didn’t want to admit it though, for fear of hurting Ji Hyo’s feelings. Yes, he found her attractive, but was that so wrong? Everyone knew Mina was beautiful.

“Why aren’t you answering, oppa? You’re not embarrassed are you? It’s okay to tell me. It’s not like I’m asking you to date her or anything”, she mocked.

He could feel her entertained eyes on him, waiting for his response. “Fine, yes. She’s pretty”, he muttered while simultaneously slamming down the trunk to hide his acknowledgement.

“Good, but is she prettier than me?”, she chirped playfully laying her head between her opened palms, wearing a cute pout.

Of course not. He rolled his eyes at her. “Stop screwing around. Is your manager not here yet?”, he asked, opening the front door to his car.

“No, I’m taking the subway today. Unnie…she…she said she’s busy right now and can’t come pick me up”, she spit out, mustering up the best excuse she could think of.

“Really? Do you want to ride with me? I can take you home, no problem.”

Ji Hyo slowly backed away from his car, with hands up in rejection. “No, oppa, it’s okay. We live too far from each other anyway. It’s too much of a hassle. I haven’t been on the subway in a while anyway. It’ll be fun.”

“Are you sure?”, he looked at her skeptically.

“Neh, you go ahead first. The station is just around the corner.”

“Okay, well, let me know if you need anything. Call me when you get home, okay? I just want to make sure you get some safely.”

“C’mon, why are you treating me like a little kid? I’m not much younger than you anyway. Fine, I’ll call you later. Geez, you’re such a mommy.”

“It’s going to get dark soon, so you better be on your way. Be careful”, he warned and waved as they both turned to travel their separate ways.

Ji Hyo headed down the street to the station in silence, bugged by the fact that he never gave a straight answer to whom he found prettier. Deep down she knew the answer, and it stung more that he was trying to hide the truth to avoid hurting her. She kicked at a stray pebble in frustration. Why the hell did it matter to her anyway if he found her pretty or not?

- - -

Jong Kook was in the middle of his ab workout when she called, thirty minutes after he had returned home. Seeing her name flash onto the screen, lifted away an enormous weight he didn’t even know he had carried since parting ways earlier in the afternoon. He had heard her sobs from outside the locker room and seen remnants of her swollen eyes. He had been worried for her well-being ever since, though he decided it was better not to bring it up at the time. Out of breath, he rushed to flip open his phone. “Neh,JiHyo?Areyoualright?”, he spewed out before panting to the side.

Ji Hyo was so surprised by the heavy breathing at the other end of the line, she was knocked speechless for a few seconds. It was 7pm, and he must have been “busy”. She smacked her forehead for calling at such an inopportune moment. She should have just texted him instead.

“JiHyo?Areyoustillthere?”

“Neh, oppa. I’m fine. I’m home now.”

“Good, let me know if—beep beep beep”, he looked down at his phone in confusion. Pshh, this woman had actually hung up on him. He attributed it to a poor signal and thinking nothing of it, threw his phone aside and promptly returned to the exercises at hand.

Ji Hyo stared at the phone, fuming at the black screen, boring her eyes into it, as if it were the source for the sinking feeling in her heart. She should be happy for him, right? Finally? Why did she suddenly feel so disappointed and betrayed? It could still all be a misunderstanding anyway. He could have just been running around when she called. He did indeed exercise a lot and it did make sense. It was the more logical explanation, but no matter what, she couldn’t get the image of him kissing and caressing another woman out of her head.

Slumping down into her couch, she closed her eyes and rested a tired hand over her forehand. What was she doing with her life: engaged to a man to whom she felt indifferent, the weakest link on Running Man, and paranoid over her friend’s relationships. Life would be so much easier if she were Mina. Even if she was insufferable, at least she had a face that would her off the hook.

She turned to her side with a sigh and stared out her apartment window, watching some birds hop around on a tree branch happily. Even birds had more purpose than her. She could feel everything slowly slipping from her fingers and told herself to work hard to keep what she had before it was all gone. There was only one thing that flashed into her mind. It was a person who still appreciated her for who she was and the remaining scraps that she was composed of. His name was Kim Jong K—she meant, Baek Chang Joo.

Author's Note: Sorry for the lateness! Thanks for staying with me. I apologize that this chapter wasn't as juicy, and there wasn't much interaction between the two. Comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated!